A/N - This is a repost from a few months ago. I thought I wanted to rewrite it but when I tried I found it was perfect as is. So I humbly present it to you again. :)


Ron walked into the house after weeding the garden, he needed a shower. Hermione had gone in to take a shower a half hour ago. He walked through the bedroom and put his hand on the doorknob but found it was locked. He closed his eyes and put his forehead against the wood.

Three months ago he felt something when they were making love. She went to her Muggle doctor, she only went to a healer when it was a magical illness, and they found a lump. Soon after he was learning about something she called breast cancer and that she had to have the breast removed. He didn't understand most of it and only knew that magic couldn't fix it. A modified radical mastectomy removed her left breast six days after he felt the lump. He hadn't seen her naked or made love, fooled around, been touched and only barely kissed since. They always had an active sex life. Most weeks, baring a mission or a big case, they made love three or four times a week. They touched each other all the time, a feel or quick snogging session wasn't uncommon on a daily basis.

At first he tried taking care of himself but she seemed to always cry that night after she thought he was sleeping. Then he would do it when she was working late but she always cried those nights too. So now he just didn't do anything. Even on the days she made his blood boil by biting her lips as she read or eating an ice pop. The worst part for him wasn't the lack of sex; he could deal with himself or go without. It was the fact that she didn't want to touch him or be touched. She didn't want to be held at night or on the couch when they watched a movie. She didn't want to hold his hand when they were shopping. She didn't want any physical contact with him. They would go days without any until he finally kissed her cheek or took her hand.

He pulled back from the door and got his wand. He couldn't live like this anymore, couldn't go a week without touching his wife or worrying that if he woke up with morning wood she was going to be a bitch for the rest of the day, like he was doing it to spite her. He undid the lock on the door, making sure it couldn't be locked again. He didn't make a sound as he walked in. The shower was a seven foot box, having an opening at the far end of the bathroom so you couldn't see in from the door. He undressed and walked to the entrance of the shower, a charm prevented the water coming out.

She was letting the water beat down on the back of her head and shoulders, her head bowed. Ron didn't need to see her face to know she was crying. He closed his eyes and took a breath to steady himself. He walked behind her and quickly yet tenderly he pulled her back against his muscular body. He was thankful he was soft still, though he didn't know how he was; he didn't want to frighten her.

"You are still beautiful to me," he whispered as he nuzzled her neck. He could feel her go still in his arms as if a stranger was behind her.

"I had the door locked," she said weakly, her hand covering where her breast would have been.

"I unlocked it." He kissed her neck softly, wanting to turn her to face him but not daring to yet. "I have missed you so much Hermione. Touching you and holding you and teasing you. I have been so lonely these late few months." He admitted, he had his arms around her waist, stroking her sides.

"I'm sorry we're not having sex but I'm not up to it yet," she said a bit sharply. "So if you will go, I'd like to finish my shower." He could tell she was fighting back all her emotions and trying not to break in front of him. The fact she thought she couldn't broke his heart a little.

"It's not the sex I miss most." He tone was soft but filled with pain. "I miss holding you on the weekends when we don't have any plans. Not doing anything but lying together and talking about things we want to do and places we'd like to see."

"I don't feel like a woman anymore," she whispered, months of pain and questions and hurt and fear, broke. She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding tightly to him as she cried. He held her tightly, feeling the difference as he held her.

"You are still a woman love, you could use a charm or the Muggle doctor said they have implants," he whispered as he rubbed her hips. "Or you could keep just the one. I swear I don't mind or think you're any less perfect. I just want you back." He kissed her cheek before daringly kissing her softly.

"I love you Ron." She shook in his arms, her face showing how terrified she was at the moment.

"I love you Hermione." He turned the water off and picked her up in his arms, walking then out of the bathroom, using his wand to dry them off before laying her down in their bed. For the first time in months she didn't have a shirt on in bed with him. He slowly moved her hand that was still coving her breast; he bent his head down and kissed the skin softly. "You are beautiful." He kissed the scar of the scalpel.

"Keep telling me that." She stroked his hair, realizing how much she missed simple acts like that.

"Every day." He moved on his side and put his hand on her hip. "I don't care if you need time before we made love again; I will wait as long as you need to be ready. But I can't not touch you, can't not kiss you good morning and good night, can't not hold you." He took her hand kissed each finger, something he did a lot when they were first together, making her smile.

"I don't want to not do those things anymore either," she whispered as she stroked his jaw. "I'm sorry I kept you out." She moved closer to him and cuddled against his chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.

"You were scared. I should have broken the door down sooner." He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. He was happier than he'd been in three months. The feeling of just having her in his arms was enough of nourish him until she was ready for more.

"Will you make love to me?" Her voice was small and for a moment he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. But he opened his eyes and saw the look on her face. Slowly he nodded.

And it was beautiful.