A Little Thing Called Love
Summary: (AU) Two childhood friends that now hate each other. Two dreamers who share the same dream. Two sex friends who can't admit their true feelings. And two pen pals that will meet for the first time. These are the stories of eight men who came to realize a little thing called love.
Rating: M for cursing and sexual themes
Pairings: Shizuo/Izaya, Tsugaru/Psyche, Delic/Hibiya, and Tsukishima/Hachimenroppi
Hello everyone! So this was originally supposed to be a completely different story, but as I started writing it and working out the plot, it just ended up not making sense. However, I did love the little subplots I planned for all the characters, so I decided to use them to make this series of short stories instead.
Each story will focus on one pairing. In a way, they're all tied together. And I'm not sure how long each story will be (as I may end up writing more or less for each). But I hope you all can enjoy this story till the very end~! Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.
Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi
I hate myself so much. No one, not even you, cares about me anyway. So I just want to end this life of mine…
Hachimenroppi tried his best to steady his fingers as he typed out this message. His scarlet eyes never left the screen or betrayed any emotion, though he bit his lip with a little worry and his body slightly shuddered. He thought about what he was doing, about how he was going to end his life.
Next to his computer was a switchblade. His eyes flickered to it briefly. The silver of the blade peeking out from the handle seemed to mock him as it glinted in the moonlight that flooded into his room from his window. He briefly reached out for it, but then remembered he never sent his message to his parents.
He turned back to his computer screen, not really paying attention as he typed out the end of his letter and their email address. He then pressed send. It was only his brief moment of hesitation that saved him as he looked at the blade then back at the screen to make sure the message sent first. That was when he noticed the address was wrong.
"Damn!" he hissed, realizing he had sent the letter to someone else. But he figured it wasn't really anything to be worried about. Most likely the stranger would ignore the message thinking it was spam or just get freaked out and delete it. Sighing, Hachimenroppi moved his mouse to resend the message but stopped when his computer made a beeping noise, signaling he had a new email.
Out of curiosity—because no one really emailed him besides a couple of online friends—he looked at it. It was a response from the stranger he had accidentally sent his letter to. It only said a few words.
Don't do it. I care.
Hachimenroppi didn't understand why his hand shook so much, causing the mouse cursor to fly all over his screen. His scarlet eyes widened with shock as his mouth slightly gaped open. He suddenly felt a bit lighter, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn't know why, but this stranger said he cared.
When no one else, not even his parents, had ever bothered about him because they thought he was strange or pathetic, here was this complete stranger saying he cared. A stranger who didn't know him. A stranger who read his deep, dark secrets and his desire to end his life. The absolute worst thing a person could first learn about another. This stranger had seen the true side of him, and yet this stranger still cared about him.
He wasn't sure whether it was out of relief or if all the emotions that had built inside of him just finally exploded, but he broke down and cried.
And then he smiled for the first time in a long time.
Shirosukaafu(1): Hello Mia-san! Are you doing well today too?
Hachimenroppi looked down at his computer screen with a small delighted smile on his face as an instant message window popped up. He always looked forward to his messages from Shiro-san, who never failed to send one every day since ever the day they first met. The day he had wanted to kill himself. But that was a long time ago—about two years—and he was still here thanks to Shiro-san.
Miaka(2): Hello Shiro-san! I am doing fine. How about you?
Shirosukaafu: I'm okay too. ^_^ Any fun plans for the day?
Miaka: Hm, not really. You?
Shirosukaafu: I just have a class in the afternoon.
Miaka: Ah, your art class right? Are you enjoying it?
Shirosukaafu: Yes, it's pretty fun. You should take an art class too Mia-san!
Miaka: Thanks for the offer, but art isn't really my forte.
Hachimenroppi leaned back on his couch, trying to picture what Shiro-san looked like in his head. He could never really imagine anything that seemed to do Shiro-san justice. He imagined a tall man, dressed in simple yet stylish clothes, with a kind smile, but his face was always ever changing. Sometimes he would have brown hair and dark chocolate eyes, sometimes black hair and light grey eyes, and other times possibly a blonde with honey colored eyes. It was hard to pick what seemed right. He sometimes wished he knew who Shiro-san really was.
Shirosukaafu: Actually Mia-san, there was something I wanted to ask you today…
Miaka: Oh? What is it?
Hachimenroppi tilted his head in slight curiosity as he waited for Shiro-san to type a response. His next words almost made Roppi's heart stop as his eyes widened.
Shirosukaafu: I would like to meet you in person.
Roppi's hands froze above his keyboard. He wasn't sure what to type. His heart beat fast against his chest, panicking. Sure, deep down he wanted to meet Shiro-san too, but there were some…complications. First off, Shiro-san thought he was a girl. This was mostly due to the screen name he had picked, it being a girl name. He had picked up the idea from a friend of his online, who also went by a girl screen name despite being a man, and had just stuck with it as he found out more people were willing to tell a girl their secrets than a man. And he had never imagined that he'd actually meet Shiro-san offline as himself, even when they both discovered they lived in the same city.
Shirosukaafu: Mia-san? Are you still there?
Hachimenroppi briefly snapped out of his daze to peer back at the screen. He bit his lip in worry. He wasn't sure what to say. What would Shiro-san do when he found out the truth? Would Shiro-san hate him for lying? Or worse, would Shiro-san see who he really was and hate him for him? Would Shiro-san disregard him just like everyone else in his life? He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Shiro-san. Shiro-san was the only one who showed genuine concern for him. The only one who cared.
Shiro-san was special.
Taking in a deep breath, Hachimenroppi tried to remain calm as he slowly typed out a response.
Miaka: Ah, sorry! And that sounds like a great idea. Where would you like to meet?
As Shiro-san typed out a place, date, and time, Hachimenroppi felt his heart swell in anticipation. He'd get to meet Shiro-san. The one who saved his life. The one person in the entire world who cared about him.
He just hoped that when they finally met, Shiro-san wouldn't be disappointed with him.
He didn't want Shiro-san to turn out like everyone else.
Hachimenroppi clenched his stomach as it growled and ached. He looked at the clock, wondering when the last time he had been fed was. He remembered a very late dinner last night. His stomach growled again, and he felt slightly sluggish and faint. He hadn't taken his medicine for the day, not knowing where his mother had placed them.
Roppi made his way to his mother's office where she was busily typing away on a computer, sometimes referring to a stack of papers next to her. Hachimenroppi walked up right next to her and tugged on the sleeve of her shirt. "Mother," he said. "I'm hungry."
"Not now, Hachimenroppi," his mother grumbled as she shrugged off his hand, never looking away from her screen.
He looked at the ground, dejected. Well, at the very least he had to take his medicine. He tugged at her shirt sleeve again, "Mother, where'd you put my medicine?"
"I'm working, Hachimenroppi!" His mother yelled this time, growing impatient. She roughly shook Hachimenroppi away from her, causing him to lose his footing and fall. "Why don't you go bug your father for a change?" She never looked away from her computer screen. "Honestly, why we ended up with a sick, useless kid like you, I'll never know."
Hachimenroppi left after that. He didn't want to hear anymore. He walked to his father's office this time, peering in to see the man sitting at his desk, going through some paperwork and taking notes. "Father?" The man didn't look up from his work nor did he respond. "Father, I'm hungry, and I have to take my medicine."
The man just sighed, "Hachimenroppi, I'm busy right now, okay? Can you just go ask your mother to make you something?"
Roppi gave up at that point. He knew he wouldn't be able to get his father to leave his work. His father never did anything but work. So he just quietly left, shutting the door behind him. He searched around for his medicine, finding it stuffed in a random drawer over an hour later. He took his assigned dosage and then attempted to make some food for himself. He ended up with burnt eggs, but he ate it anyway. He sat alone at the dining table, eating his burnt eggs, just like he did practically every night.
Hachimenroppi's eyes fluttered open slowly and a scowl still marred his face. He turned over on his side, muttering to himself. He hated when he dreamed about his life when he was younger.
Rolling out of bed, Hachimenroppi got up and stretched, heading towards the bathroom to wash up. After a quick shower and getting dressed, he commenced his day with making breakfast and reading the newspaper.
Today was the day he was supposed to meet Shiro-san. Butterflies were fluttering around his stomach and despite the delicious breakfast he made for himself, he couldn't seem to taste anything. He'd occasionally glanced at the clock, his eyes watching as it counted towards the time he'd meet up with Shiro-san. It went by so slowly.
Yet it also seemed too fast as Hachimenroppi suddenly found himself standing in front of the small café that Shiro-san had said they'd meet at. Shiro-san had said he'd be wearing the white scarf, which was befitting given his screen name. Hachimenroppi's scarlet eyes looked around, not seeing anyone in a white scarf, which was understandable given that he had arrived over half an hour early.
Hachimenroppi took a seat at an outside table and ordered a mocha latte and a chocolate biscotti. While he waited, he pulled out one of his favorite books to read, 1984 by George Orwell. A few minutes later his order arrived, so he quietly sipped his latte, sometimes looking up from his book to see if Shiro-san appeared.
Five minutes before their appointed time to meet, Hachimenroppi saw him. It easy to not miss him, and Shiro-san was nothing like he had ever imagined.
He was tall and slightly lanky looking. He wore black pants, a white button down shirt with a black vest, and a white scarf around his neck. Circle frameless glasses were perched on his small nose. His hair was blonde and slightly messy which only made him look cuter, and his eyes were a deep scarlet like Roppi's own. His smile was soft and kind, even more so than Roppi had thought of. But what awed Roppi the most was the happiness evident in his expression.
Roppi tried to keep the beating of his heart steady as he secretly watched Shiro-san take a seat at the table next to his. A waitress came up to take his order and the smile he gave her was absolutely dazzling. Even the waitress was charmed as she smiled back and started to bat her eyelashes at him. Roppi was sure he had never seen such a person before.
Once the waitress left, Shiro-san started to look around with anxious, excited eyes. Hachimenroppi almost felt guilty. Shiro-san was waiting for him, and Shiro-san had no idea what he looked like. Hachimenroppi had just said he'd find Shiro-san. Shiro-san was probably expecting a cute girl to show up at any minute.
Roppi watched as Shiro-san glanced at his watch then looked back around the café. No one came to approach him. Roppi tried not to make his glances obvious by pretending to read his book, but he couldn't help his eyes trailing back to Shiro-san once in a while. The boy still looked upbeat and excited, despite the fact that Roppi was now technically ten minutes late for their meeting.
The hot chocolate and cookies the boy ordered then arrived. And soon they were gone. Over forty minutes had passed.
Why hasn't he left yet? Hachimenroppi thought as he turned a page in his book, slyly glancing at Shiro-san out of the corner of his eye. Isn't it pretty obvious I've stood him up by now?
But…why was he standing him up? Why didn't he approach Shiro-san?
I'm afraid, Hachimenroppi thought as he closed his eyes with a small sigh. I don't want him to hate me…I don't want to lose him…but won't he hate me because I didn't show up? Will he stop talking to me now?
Panic suddenly spiked in Hachimenroppi's chest as he thought about this. Why hadn't it occurred to him before? If "Miaka" didn't show up to their meeting, of course Shiro-san would get upset! He would stop talking to Miaka. Roppi would be all alone again.
But still fear paralyzed him. He didn't want Shiro-san to know the truth just yet. What if Shiro-san hated him more because he turned out to be a guy? What if Shiro-san thought he was pathetic just like his parents thought of him?
Hachimenroppi's thoughts were interrupted when a cell phone rang. He looked to his side to see Shiro-san sheepishly blush and answer his phone. "Tsukishima here."
So his name is Tsukishima…it fits him, Roppi thought as he glanced back at his book but secretly listened in on the conversation.
"Hey Tsuki, you meet that girl yet?"
"She stood you up, didn't she? See, I told you she was bad news. Never trust anyone you meet over the internet."
"You're wrong, Delic nii-san!" Tsukishima protested. "Mia-san isn't like that." Hachimenroppi's face suddenly heated up at that. Why was Tsukishima standing up for him? Didn't Roppi just technically dump him? Shouldn't he hate him?
"But it's been almost an hour since you were supposed to meet and she's not there yet, is she? I'm telling you, she tricked you."
"Maybe something just happened last minute and she wasn't able to make it," Tsukishima argued.
"Wouldn't she call or text you then? That's the polite thing to do. Face it, Tsuki, she totally played you. You're just way too gullible, man."
"No, Mia-san is different. She's wouldn't do this without a reason," Tsukishima insisted.
Hachimenroppi really wished Tsukishima would stop defending him. The guilt was eating away at his conscience now, and his heart beat faster against his chest. Why did his words make his heart swell so much?
"Whatever you say, Tsuki. Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later, okay?"
"Don't let this girl break your heart, okay?"
Hachimenroppi didn't understand why a sudden pain flared in his chest. Why those words cut at his conscience. Why those words felt like they were true. Was Hachimenroppi breaking his heart? He had never known what it was like to have someone care for him, and he had never cared for someone else. But he liked Shiro-san, or Tsukishima. He was special to Hachimenroppi. But just how special was he? Roppi didn't know.
Briefly, he allowed himself to look at Tsukishima again. Tsukishima had put away his cell phone and was looking at the people who walked by, searching for anyone that could be "Miaka". But "Miaka" was sitting at the table right next to him. But Tsukishima didn't know that. And for some reason, that hurt Hachimenroppi.
Unable to take it anymore, Hachimenroppi got up from the table, left the money for his bill, and walked away from the café. He didn't dare look back, knowing he'd see Tsukishima and his bright, smiling face, waiting.
Waiting for a person who would never show up.
Shirosukaafu: Mia-san? Mia-san, are you okay? You didn't show up yesterday, and I was worried something might have happened to you.
Shirosukaafu: Mia-san, are you alright?
Miaka has logged out.
Hachimenroppi pushed his laptop away from him. He couldn't look at it anymore. Shiro-san, actually Tsukishima, hadn't given up on him. He still messaged Roppi every day. And while Roppi was happy, at the same time he was confused and frightened.
Shouldn't Tsukishima hate him? Why didn't he hate him? Why did he still send messages every day, asking if Roppi was alright?
"I don't understand you," Roppi whispered to he rolled over on his bed, pushing his face into his pillow. Why are you still being nice to me?
A memory flashed through his head as he recalled the last person who was nice to him.
"Are you okay, Hachimenroppi-san?" Eight year old Hachimenroppi looked up, his scarlet eyes brimmed with tears that he furiously tried to wipe away. There was dirt smeared across his face from where he had been pushed into the ground, and his knees bled as they had been scraped across the concrete. In front of him stood a boy who was about a year older than him. He was a head taller too with artfully messy brown hair and bright, grey eyes. He smiled down at Roppi as he held his hand out to him. "That was mean of them."
Roppi's eyes turned towards the bullies who snickered in the corner of the playground. He hated them but was too weak to fight back. So he tried his best to ignore them, except that didn't always work. He gingerly took the boy's—who he knew as Yamamura Ken from his class—hand and Ken helped him up to his feet.
"Thanks," Roppi murmured so softly it was almost an inaudible whisper. He began to rub the dirt off his face. He then looked down at his knees with a frown. His mother would scold him again for getting his clothes dirtied and bloodied. Ken's eyes also traveled to Roppi's knees. He dug around his pocket and fished out a band aid, offering it to Roppi. Hachimenroppi looked at it with confusion.
"Here," Ken offered, shaking the band aid in his hand to imply his action. "I get scrapes and cuts from playing all the time, so I always have a band aid."
Tentatively Roppi took the band aid from Ken's hands. He smiled shyly as he murmured his thanks again, moving to apply the band aid. When he turned back to Ken, Ken was smiling at him and pointing towards the playground. "Would you like to play with me?
Roppi looked towards the playground hesitantly, but seeing the look in Ken's eyes made him nod and follow slowly. They spent the rest of the day playing together.
"Ken-chan," a little girl whined as she leaned against Ken's desk. "Why do you hang around that creepy sick kid all the time? I thought you didn't like him."
Roppi clenched the book he was holding to his chest tightly as he held his breath. He didn't dare look beyond the sliding door as he heard Ken respond.
The boy laughed, shaking his head at the girl, "I don't like him. I only hang around him because his parents are rich, and my mom told me to be his friend so they could be friends with his parents. Hachimenroppi is a weirdo. If my mom didn't tell me too, I wouldn't bother with him."
There was a peal of laughter before a thudding noise interrupted them.
"What was that?" a girl asked as they all turned towards the closed sliding door. One of them went up to it and opened it, looking down only to find a discarded book on the ground.
Roppi frowned at the unpleasant memory. No one in his entire life had ever liked him for he was. Whenever someone saw him, they either saw a poor sick kid to pity or a gateway to his rich parents. No one ever saw Hachimenroppi as himself.
Roppi lifted his head from his pillow as he heard his cell phone ring, signaling he had a new email. He flipped it open and the message popped onto his screen.
Mia-san, did I upset you in some way? I'm sorry if I did.
The cell phone shook in his trembling hands as he stared at the message with surprise. Why did this Tsukishima care so much for him? A person he hardly even knew. They were complete strangers, and yet Tsukishima was also the only one who knew the real him.
The person who had wanted to die, the person who wrote poetry in their spare time, the person who loved Poe, the person who hated every human being on the face of the planet because none of them had ever truly cared for him.
Except for one.
This one human who had someone found his way past Hachimenroppi's stony, distrusting guard that Roppi had built up in his twenty-one years of life.
This one human named Tsukishima.
And thus I start off my new story with my favorite Shizaya alternate pairing! :)
Also, just wondering, does anyone like the Shitsuo/Sakuraya pairing? I've been seeing some fanfics of them lately and the characters have piqued my interest. I'm debating whether I should add an extra of them at the end of this story or not, as this is basically a collection of Shizaya and their alternate personas love stories. So let me know what you think. ^_^
Thank you for reading and reviewing (pretty please?)!
(1) I think I hinted at it in this chapter, but Tsukishima's screen name Shirosukaafu means "white scarf" which of course comes from the white scarf Tsukishima wears.
(2) Hachimenroppi's screen name Miaka is a Japanese girl's name that means "Beautiful red". It comes from Hachimenroppi's eyes. Also yes, Izaya was the one Hachimenroppi mentioned when he said his friend went by a girl screen name.