I absolutely loved the summer finale of R and I. It had me on the edge of my seat. It also created a little one-shot in my head so picking up after the birthday party, here you go…hope you enjoy.
Thank you Janet Tamaro-TNT-Tess Gerritsen for these wonderful characters.
"Jane! Jane honey wakeup!" The brunette's violent tossing and turning almost knocked her to the floor.
"Jane, please!" Desperate Maura tried to get Jane to hear her but she was lost in her nightmare.
Maura grabbed her by the shoulders hoping to shake her gently when she was abruptly rolled over on her back and mounted by Jane.
"Jane, STOP!" Eyes wide open, the wild look she gave Maura was unnerving, Maura didn't think she had ever seen than desperation even after the shooting with Bobby.
"Maur…Maura?" Groaning she looked at her hands pinning Maura to the bed and she sucked her breath in. "Oh God Maur…I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't…" rolling off she lay back down and turned her back, crying softly into her hands.
With a deep breath Maura rolled onto her side laying a gentle hand on the other woman. They had been through so much together. After the surprise party at Jane's apartment, Jane had realized she didn't want to be alone and had asked Maura to stay. With only one bed, they did what they generally, did they shared. Maura borrowing a long t-shirt to sleep in, while Jane slept in her usual boy shorts and tank top. Seeing the sheen of sweat along Jane's arm, Maura knew it had been a bad one this time. Even her reaction, her physical reaction to being touched was different.
"Do you want to talk about it?" softly she stroked the other woman's arm trying to get her to relax. Jane needed to excise her demons and the only way to do that was to talk about it.
"I can't Maura…I…he's dead dammit why am I still having nightmares!" her raspy voice full of tears, broke Maura's heart. Jane hated to seem weak and she knew that was exactly how she was feeling now.
"Jane…what we went through was…traumatic…I mean…he meant to kill us, both of us, I…if not for you we'd be dead." Quietly, Maura let those words drift through her own psyche. She had never been in a situation like that before. Seeing Jane held down by Hoyt with a scalpel to her neck had been a nightmare and she had been helpless to do anything. But not Jane, she had been anything but helpless, not once he…
"Jane look at me please, I don't want to speak to our back."
Rolling over Jane turned to look at her best friend. Eyes still full of tears, she wiped at them angrily and looked at Maura, frowning at the bandage on her neck ignoring the matching one on her own.
"What happened?" Maura realized she didn't know exactly how Jane had gotten free.
"Wha? You were there Maur…" she couldn't figure out what the ME was getting at.
"No, actually I wasn't, he had tazered me, so I could hear but I couldn't move so I couldn't tell what was going on." Eyebrows furrowing, "he taunted you after he tazed me, he…"
"I know what he did Maur…" tired, Jane didn't want to talk anymore, she didn't want to feel what she had felt in that instant when she thought Maura would die, didn't want to feel how much loved this woman. It was frightening, overpowering, exhilarating…it was wrong; she knew Maura didn't feel the same.
"Please Jane, tell me…" Looking into the hazel eyes Jane knew Maura had won, she always did.
"I screamed at him not to hurt you and he did anyway, he tazed you. I tried getting the guard off me but he was too big, I couldn't get to you. Then…then Hoyt was putting the scalpel to your neck and…and…" she couldn't, she had to feel again, she didn't want to, "please Maura don't make me"
"And?" gently Maura pushed Jane to continue. She needed to know. It was visceral this need to know.
"And I lost it I guess, I...I think I screamed and grabbed the guard and head butted him…kneed him and grabbed the tazer Hoyt had put down before…before he cut you… then I went after Hoyt…you were just laying there, not moving…I didn't know if you were alive or dead…" tears flowing freely now she looked into Maura's eyes, "I couldn't let him get up again…he was going to kill you Maura, because of me."
Maura's heart was breaking at the sight of her strong friend so broken. "Jane look at me…look at me dammit!"
Eyes snapped up and fixed on Maura, "did you just curse?" she said hoarsely.
"Yes I did! Jane Rizzoli how dare you think he was going to kill me because of you, he was going to kill me because he wanted to, he wanted to cause you pain, he wanted you to suffer, but you beat him Jane. You beat him, once and for all." Chest heaving and her tirade over, she looked into blackness of Jane's eyes and saw herself reflected there as a realization struck. It was she, Jane couldn't get free for herself, but she was able to break free when Maura was threatened.
Seeing the change in Maura's face, " you okay Maur? God I'm sorry you must be tired and here I am like a kid having nightmares about the boogeyman. Go back to sleep Maur we can talk later." Laying flat on her back, Jane didn't say another word, just stared at the ceiling and rubbed her hands. "He had her, dead to rights, she had felt helpless under him, he had always made her feel helpless, but when he threatened Maura…like he killed his other couples, making the one watch while the other suffered the pain of their loss."
Putting a hand to her chest, she could feel her breath hitch at the thought that she almost lost her tonight and never got to tell her, never got to tell her that she loved her.
Maura could only stare at Jane as the realization of Jane's actions sunk in. "It couldn't be," she thought, "Jane loves her as a friend, right?" Watching her lie there Maura couldn't imagine her life without this woman. She had never believed in fairytales but Jane was certainly her knight in shining armor, always coming to her rescue.
"What was the dream about?" she had to know now.
Not looking at her, Jane continued to stare at the ceiling before talking "He killed you…I didn't get away fast enough and…he killed you…I got him though in my dream…but you…you died in my arms Maura and I never…" she was crying and she didn't care, she could feel every bit of that dream and the loss and it hurt, "God it hurt…I never got to tell you I love you" the last she said so quietly that Maura knew she must have misheard her.
"Jane…honey…did you just tell me you love me?" Incredulous Maura sat up and looked at Jane still lying there avoiding her eyes. "Jane, look at me."
"I can't Maur I know you don't feel the same way, s'ok, I just…I had to say it out loud, I never told you and then you died, I don't want to feel that way ever again." Looking up at Maura, "still friends?" she said sheepishly.
Maura's lips answered her question and then some. Softly at first, Maura's lips locked with Jane's. The soft exploratory kiss quickly gave way to a passionate embrace as Jane responded to the lips against hers. Breaking apart to breathe, both women looked at each other.
A husky voice asked, "I thought I wasn't your type?"
"Jane you are my only type" Maura's silky voice.
"Really? Shy now, Jane wondered what now, she didn't do relationships well.
"Really" to punctuate her response, Maura leaned down again to kiss Jane and was surprised when Jane pulled her in close.
The passionate kiss ignited a fire within them both that could only be whetted by an exploration of each other. The touching, the caressing was so new but felt so right and the kissing.
Laying back after their make out session Maura lay in Jane's arms enjoying the scent of her and grateful for her strength. She had kept them alive and with Hoyt's death there was a rebirth of sorts, for both of them. Maura's body felt positively electrified and she wanted more, but not yet, she wanted to enjoy this first, she wanted to explore this side of Jane she had never seen before.
Trailing her fingers along her abdomen Maura traced the outline of Jane's scar before resting her hand there.
"I'm sorry he hurt you."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." She continued her exploration of Jane's abdomen until she got to her breasts, running her hand over lightly, she was happy to hear Jane's breath catch.
"Maura…" Jane growled, "Have you ever been with a woman?"
"I experimented in college…why?" she said sweetly, knowing exactly what she was doing to Jane.
"Well I have and, uhm…you really don't want to do that unless you plan on following up with something more." Jane was trying desperately to control her body's responses to Maura's ministrations to no avail as her nipples perked up and were clearly visible through her tank top.
Rolling over and mounting her, Maura looked down into Jane's surprised eyes. Leaning down she kissed the bandage on her forehead and then continued her kisses along the side of her face before resting on Jane's lips again.
Pulling back, she looked at Jane seriously, "no more nightmares?"
Looking up at the woman who had chased her nightmares away, she could feel herself overflow with love for her. Pulling her down she whispered, "no more nightmares."
So, just a little one shot-I can certainly continue it if folks like since there are all sorts of possibilities, but that's up to you. Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know your thoughts. Review…Review…Review…