Summary: That girl stole everything from me. Everything was fine until she came along. (Short, angsty Jade. Rated T for strong language.)
Disclaimer: I'm not Dan Schneider. That is natt maa job.
A/N: This is probably absolutely no different from the other 300 Jade Angst fics on here, but I really needed to get this out after watching "Helen Back Again". This is basically me, putting myself in Jade's place and explaining her relentless hate for Tori. I have a lot of sympathy for Jade, I really do. (ps, this kind of sucks, I literally wrote it in like an hour and a half.)
That girl stole everything from me.
Before she came along, I had grown to appreciate the sort of… motley crew that I hung out with. Beck as my boyfriend, Cat as my best friend, (although I'd never give her the satisfaction of calling her that) Andre and I tolerated each other and we helped each other with music homework and were beginning to earn some sort of bond, and Robbie… well, he's Robbie. But each of us had goals and dreams and most importantly, friends there to help achieve them. Support was an ever-present theme that flowed between us. There was always a friend you could count on if you were down, to lift you up, to bring your talents to the forefront so you could nurture and practice them.
We could just sit together with a few guitars and feel so liberated and inspired, like we could do all we could ever imagine and there would be no one or no thing in our way.
And then she came along and yeah, Andre and Cat became her best friends. And that's totally fine, I thought. I didn't need them to be talented. I didn't need them to live. Because I knew that I had Beck, all of him, and he had me, always and forever. And ultimately, he was all I really needed.
But no, she puts her filthy hands all over him, kisses him in front of our entire class, hugs him and flips her hair all around and bats her flirty brown eyelashes at him. And he kisses her back, squeezes her tight, and gives in to her every time her stupid chocolate eyes melt.
And I swear, ever since she came along, whenever he looks at me I see some kind of new found happiness that I didn't put there. And that's what kills me more than anything. She could have my friends, she could have her perfect little family, and she could have the lead role in any fucking play she wanted. I couldn't really care less about that. And the one thing I thought I would always have at the end of the day, the one thing she didn't have, she had to have too. And she has a piece of him I can't get to, ever since she came along, the bed seems the least bit emptier and his touch the least bit colder.
Inadequacy was a word that never, ever even in my vocabulary until she came along. I never knew what that felt like. She was everything I thought I was, and she made me realize that she was everything I wasn't.
Of course I was happy when she was getting kicked out of school. She's talented. She was a threat. A thief.
And then Beck, Beck with his stupid fucking sympathy and stupid fucking plans, he fought for her. He actually fought for her. As if we needed her there. As if she completed us.
Just so you know, we don't, and she doesn't.
Say you love me, I always say. It's a lie, I know, but I need to hear it, even if he doesn't mean it. It gets me through the day. And god, it's so pathetic how I live for him and no one else. It wasn't until she came alone that I started to regret letting you get so close.
It's so pathetic of me, how much I long for their company even if I know I'm better than them. How I have to be with Cat, but only when she's not with Tori. How he kissed her lips but it was okay because he kissed mine at the end of the night. So pathetic, how I swallow my pride and pretend that he's not thinking of her as my nails dig into his skin. He had all of me and I had all of him, except that one little piece, that one little hole in his heart that only she could access and fill with something that I couldn't.
As a child of divorce, I should know that not everyone stays with you through thick and thin. If there's anything I learned, it's that they stay until something better comes along.
SO MANY ITALICS.
I don't expect this to get much feedback since it's so cliché, but reviews always make me happy!