I was rewatching some of my Angel DVDs and this just kind of popped into my head. And since I can't resist new story ideas I decided to just go ahead and give it a shot.
Angel leaned back in his chair, trying to be patient as he waited for Spike to come into his office. He had called for the younger vampire ages ago but of course he hadn't come in yet. Spike always found great pleasure in getting under his skin and lately his method of choice had been showing up late whenever Angel needed him somewhere. He tried not to show how much that bothered him because he knew that would just egg Spike on more. He had to try and just ignore this in hopes that he would knock it off sometime soon.
Ignoring it started to go out the window though about a half hour later when Spike hadn't shown up. And by the time an hour went by Angel was fuming and of course that was when Spike chose to show up. He sauntered in like he owned the place and smirked at the look on Angel's face. "What ya need Peaches?"
Angel glared at him unhappily. "You're late."
"You are too. I called you in an hour ago."
"You didn't tell me to come right that very second though."
"Yes I did."
"No you didn't. You just said that you wanted to see me. You never said that I had to drop everything I was doing and come running in here to serve you. You just assumed I would." He smirked at the way Angel was scowling at him. "And you know what they say about assuming things mate…"
It was very hard to resist the urge to get up and drive a stake right through his heart. Angel had to actually take a couple of unneeded breaths to try and regain his composure. "I need you to do me a favor."
"And I would do that because…?"
"Wes has been spending too much time with Illyria lately-"
"Well yeah. We've all known that one for awhile Peaches. You can't bleedin' see one without the other anymore."
"Which is why I need you to watch her for awhile so he can get a break."
"What? Me? No way Peaches. You go spend time with Blue and I'll take Head Boy out instead."
"You'll just get him drunk and he's done more than enough of that lately."
"Well he obviously hasn't been doing it right. Besides, what are you going to have him do? Sit around the campfire, sing Koombaya and have him cry out his feelings?"
"Just TAKE her, okay?" Angel watched Spike roll his eyes before deciding to lay in the guilt trip. "Fred would want you to help."
Spike gave him a dirty look. "Now THAT is just low."
"Liar." Spike stood up and started to walk out.
"Does that mean you're going to do it?"
Spike just flipped him off on his way out the door.
"Well that didn't really answer my question…"
"What is this?" Illyria asked as she stopped short of Spike's motorcycle. Wesley had to convince her to come along with Spike, saying that they had a mission of some sort that only a God King could properly handle. When in doubt, always stroke her ego. That always seemed to work out pretty well for them.
"A motorcycle," Spike replied. "It's like a car but in bike form. He got on and motioned for her to get on the back.
"It does not look as confining as a car."
"That's because it's not. Now hop on."
"Do not give me orders half breed." Illyria circled the bike slowly, cocking her head to the side and studying it carefully before getting on it as well. "I do not find this to be totally displeasing."
Spike just rolled his eyes a bit and drove off. Illyria wasn't even hanging on to him. She just sat behind him the entire time, completely silent until he pulled up to the bar and turned the thing off. "Come on Blue. What we need is right inside." He started to go towards the door but stopped when he realized that he wasn't being followed. "Blue?"
"I want the vibrations."
"What?" He spun all the way back around and saw that Illyria was still sitting on the bike.
"The vibrations," she repeated as she scooted up to where he had been and taking hold of the handles. "They pleased me. I wish to have them again."
Spike blinked several times, trying to wrap his mind around that one. "Riiiight…we'll have vibrations afterwards, I promise."
"I will not wait long." That wasn't so much of a statement as it was a warning. She got off the bike and followed Spike into the bar, wrinkling her nose immediately. "This place reeks." She grabbed Spike's arm and spun him around. "What is our mission here?"
"To take you out and give dear old Wes a break," Spike confessed. "Angel thinks he's brooding too much, which is really saying something."
"He misses the shell."
"Fred," Spike corrected. "Her name was Fred. And yes he does. Now come on. It's my duty to show you the joys of getting smashed."
"Smashed?" Illyria followed him up to the bar and stood next to him as he sat down on one of the stools.
"That's right luv." Spike got them two shot glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bartender. "Smashed." He poured them both a shot and raised his up. "Cheers."
Illyria watched him drink his before taking a hold of hers. "Is this what Wesley drinks?"
"He typically drinks scotch but this is pretty good too."
She studied the drink for a moment before drinking it. Spike waited for a reaction and was pleasantly surprised when she put her glass down right by the bottle. "I wish to have more."
"Good girl." Spike poured them both another shot, only to have his stolen. "Hey!"
"More," she demanded, slamming both of their glasses down on the counter.
"You can't just go around stealing other people's drinks. That's just bloody rude."
"I do not care to observe your rules of etiquette half breed."
"Well maybe you should. You are living in our world now."
"I will just take the bottle if you do not surrender it."
Gonna have to talk to Wes about working on her manners… Spike poured her more whiskey and got himself another glass so they could drink together in peace. What they weren't realizing though was that Illyria was attracting quite a bit of attention from the other men in the bar. It wasn't surprising, considering to them it just looked like she was wearing a skin tight leather jumpsuit. She paid absolutely no attention to them though. It wasn't until one of them came up to her and cozied up beside her that she gave him any attention.
"Hey there Sugar Pie," Spike about spit out his drink at that "how about you ditch this Billy Idol wannabe and come with a real man?"
Illyria's gaze hardened and her eyes looked him up and down critically. "I find your form displeasing. I will stay with the half breed."
"Thanks Blue," Spike said with a smirk.
The guy scowled and made the mistake of grabbing her arm. "Hey now, what-"
Bam! One punch sent him flying and the entire bar went still as they stared at Illyria in shock. "Feel better?" Spike asked.
"Yes. But I still wish for the vibrations." With that Illyria walked off, leaving Spike to just sit there and shake his head.