A/N: This popped in my head and I just had to write it out! My friend helped me on some parts. Yes, I'm talking about the wimpy one. ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide or FedEx.
Field trip never happened and Faymen never moved. They all are in their early 20's.
I'd Do Anything
The sun was high in the sky shinning its golden light brightly! Birds were soaring through the air freely! Kids were outside playing and just having a good time on this Saturday morning! If only Ned felt that happy… You see, Ned was on his way to a wedding.
Not just any wedding, a friend's wedding.
Not just any friend, his best friend's wedding.
No not Cookie's wedding! It was Moze's…
And guess what? He's not the groom… It was Faymen.
The second Ned heard he proposed to Moze, he felt sick to his stomach. It got worse when he found out she had said 'yes'. Ned always had feelings for Moze. He was always told that she had feelings for him too but didn't believe it because she was with Faymen. Being together might have messed up their friendship anyways. Now he's having second thoughts. But what could Ned do now? It's too late! She's getting married!
What really made his stomach really twist into knots was that after the wedding, Moze would be moving to Brazil so Faymen could pursue his soccer career. This means that this was the last chance for him to tell her his true feelings!
Ned sighed deeply and turned his car into the church parking lot. Cookie came into view wearing a fancy tuxedo and ran towards Ned's vehicle.
"Dude! You were supposed to be here hours ago to help set up!" he said as Ned got out of the car.
"You look terrible! Did you get any sleep?" Cookie said. He realized his tuxedo was wrinkled and his tie was undone.
"I was up late thinking."
"What do you think?" he said as he walked towards the church with Cookie by his side.
"I know it hurts buddy." Cookie put on arm on his shoulder.
"I wish I could do something! I want to tell her how I feel!"
"But what if it doesn't work out? What if she doesn't like me back? It's too late!" Ned started to panic.
"Listen," Cookie stopped walking and faced him. "girls like Moze only come around once in a lifetime! If you really care about her and love her, you should let her know! You never know, she could like you back."
"Why would she? She's getting married. If she liked me, she wouldn't have said 'yes' to Faymen."
"I'm just saying, tell her how you feel. Even if she doesn't like you, you'll finally get it off your chest and move on. But think of if she does! You two would be together!
"I don't know about this Cookie." He scratched the back of his head.
"It's worth the risk, isn't it? Isn't she worth the risk?"
"Then go tell her!"
"You know what? I will!" Ned stalked off with a big smile but Cookie stopped him.
"Hold up! You can't see her like this! Come here." He adjusted his bow tie and straightened his jacket.
"Thanks. I'm going in!"
He ran up the church steps two by two and flung the door open. The inside was decorated in tons of flowers! A white carpet extended from Ned's feet to the altar. There were candles and white roses at the end of every pew. The whole thing looked very expensive. Faymen's parents really went all out. He knew they were rich but not this rich. As he walked by the attendants, he recognized some faces and many not so much. Tons of Faymen's Brazilian family was there.
He spotted Lisa in her bridesmaid dress and went to her.
"Ned! How are you?"
"I'm fine, but I want to know where Moze is."
"Oh she's in the dressing room over there." Ned followed where she pointed and said 'thanks'.
He approached the door and was about to knock when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
Ned turned and saw a gigantic, muscular, Brazilian man.
"Oh, I just wanted to talk to the bride."
"The bride has requested not to be disturbed before the wedding. You must go." He said in an accent.
"What is the problem?" A shorter Brazilian man said whom Ned remembered to be Faymen's father.
"I just want to talk to the bride."
"You can't see her right now."
"But I need to see her! It's important!"
"You are not going to bother my future daughter-in-law!"
"You don't understand! I need to see her!" Ned suddenly bumped into a candle stand which fell on a basket of red roses. The roses suddenly lit up in flames.
"Fire!" everyone yelled.
Ned tried to stomp on the flames but it just made it spread faster. The roses were now completely engulfed.
A security guard rushed over with an extinguisher and put the fire out.
The church was silent. Faymen's father walked over to remains of the roses and kneeled down.
"These flowers came from my great, great, great, grandmother's garden in Brazil!" he cried.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I'm so sorry! Please tell your great, great, great, grandmother I'm sorry!" the panic stricken Ned said. The man stood up abruptly and said,
"I can't tell her. SHE IS DEAD! Get out!"
Two equally muscular Brazilian men grabbed Ned by the arms and dragged out of the church building.
"NO! Please don't kick me out! PLEASE NO!" he begged.
The second they got to the steps, they shoved him onto the sidewalk.
"No! I need to talk to Moze!"
"You are not allowed to go in. You have to leave the property." The men said as they stood guard by the door. Ned dropped his head and started walking away. He then saw a FedEx delivery man across the street and got an idea.
"It might be crazy, but it might work."
A few moments later –
"What do you want?" one of the guards asked. Ned was dressed up as a FedEx delivery man and had a fake mustache and glasses on.
"I have a package for this address." He said in a disguised voice.
"Go ahead." He motioned.
Before Ned could take a step, a man wearing only boxers and a white t-shirt sprinted towards Ned.
"Give me back that box!" the man suddenly tackled Ned to the ground.
"Ahhhh! Get off me!"
"Give me back the package! I have to deliver it!"
Ned's moustache and glasses fell off in the struggle. As soon as Ned got out of his grip, the man bent down and picked up the severely dented box and walked away. Then it suddenly hit him, he wasn't in disguise anymore. In a matter of moments, Ned was thrown into a nearby bush.
He picked himself up and brushed the leaves off of him.
"I got another idea!"
Ned was near the back entrance of the church as he put on an outfit that looked similar to the security guard's uniform. "With this suit, they'll think I'm one of them." He took a deep breath and walked to the door. As he passed the guard, he awkwardly muttered,
"Uh, the uh perimeter is safe. I'll check the inside."
He strolled through the doors and rejoiced that it was a different guard. Otherwise, he would have been noticed.
"Now, I have to find Moze's room."
"Excuse me. Security?" A woman with a giant fur coat approached.
Ned cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Uh yes ma'am?"
"There are a bunch of noisy children making a mess in the hallway. Can you take care of it?"
"Yes I'll take care of it. No problem."
I don't have time to do this but I have to! The lady is watching me! I need to do this if I don't want to look suspicious!
"Hey guys? Can you settle down please?" he said to the kids that all seemed to be around ten years old.
"You're not a security guard!" one kid said.
"What? Of course I am!" Ned said nervously.
"But your muscles aren't big enough!" another child pointed.
"Hey! I'm new at this job! Okay? Now it would be great if you all stayed quiet."
"You're not the boss of us!" All of the children swarmed Ned and pulled him to the ground.
"Ahhh! Stop you little demons!" He exclaimed as the kids hit Ned repeatedly all over. They pulled at his hair and ripped his clothes. Soon enough, the children scattered as more security arrived.
"Thank goodness you guys came! I thought they were going to eat me or something!"
They picked up Ned and started taking him towards Faymen's dad.
"Hey! Hey! What are you doing? No, I'm one of you! I'M ONE OF YOU!"
"You again? I told you to leave this wedding alone!" Mr. Phorchin said.
"I have to talk to the bride! That's all! Just please let me see her and I'll go away! Please!"
"Hmmmm…" He pondered as Ned held his breath.
The guards picked him up and threw him into another bush outside. Ned instantly jumped off.
"OW! That one had thorns in it!" he screamed at the men that were going back into the church.
"Ned! I saw them take you away!" Cookie rushed out.
"I need another plan! The wedding is going to start soon!"
They all of a sudden heard,
"I don't know what to do with this dress. One of the bridesmaids is sick." A woman holding the dress said to another man.
"Just leave it over there." The man said. Cookie turned back to Ned who had the biggest smile on his face.
"Ned, no way! Are you serious?"
"It's the only way! Give me your Simone wig too."
"What? Uh, what wig?"
"Give it up Cook. I know you have that wig in the trunk of your car."
"It's just for emergencies!" Cookie cried.
"Whatever, just go get it!" Ned grabbed the dress and pushed Cookie in the direction of the parking lot.
Moments later –
"How do I look?" Ned was wearing the bridesmaid dress with Cookie's wig on. He didn't look that bad at all.
"Pretty good." Cookie said.
"Ok, I'm going in." Ned adjusted his dress as he strolled into the church. He moved along hallway after hallway looking for the bride's room.
So far so good.
Ned turned around and noticed a man following him. What's up with this guy?
When he realized he wasn't going to stop, Ned halted and asked,
"Can I help you?" he said in a girly voice.
"I'm sorry, I just can't help noticing how beautiful you are."
"Look, even though I just met you, I think I've just fallen in love with you…"
"Uhhhhhhh…" Ned's face was horrified. The man took Ned's hand into his and was about to kiss it when all of a sudden he jerked away.
"You have man hands! And you're wearing mens dress shoes and pants! Oh my gosh! You're not a woman!" He screeched.
In a matter of seconds, security swiftly apprehended Ned and pushed him out of the doors.
"Oh, come on!"
"Ned!" Cookie came out. "The wedding is going to start in fifteen minutes!"
"I have to get to Moze!"
"Quick! Follow me! I have a plan!" Cookie and Ned ran to the side of the church.
"Up there!" Cookie pointed.
"It's the window to Moze's room. You can climb up and get in through there!"
"How am I going to get up there?"
"Climb this lattice." Cookie neared the white fence looking thing that held vines up along the side of the church. Ned started to climb and thank himself that he had pants underneath the dress.
"This isn't as easy as it looks!" he said halfway to top.
When he finally got to the window, he pushed the glass aside and pulled himself in. The sight he saw was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Moze was sitting in a chair in her wedding dress, clutching a tissue, with tears coming down her face.
"Ned? Why did you come through my window? And why on earth are you dressed like a girl?" she asked through her tears. He couldn't even say a word. She looked like an angel with her mascara running down her cheeks.
Through her tears, he could see a small blush appear.
"Thanks, I could say the same to you." She gave a small laugh as she looked him over. "You still haven't answered why you're in a dress."
"Oh, I got uh…kicked out. So I kind of had to sneak in the building with this disguise." He said shyly.
"Why did you get kicked out?"
"Well, that's what I have to talk to you about." Ned took off his wig and walked over to Moze. He knelt down in front of her and wiped her tears.
"Ned, take the dress off, I can't take you seriously." She laughed. He laughed with her and removed it. He was so glad once again that he had his suit under the bride's maid dress.
"Why do you look like the guards outside?"
"It's all a long story. I'll explain later. The wedding will start soon so I don't have much time." He bent down in front of her again and took her hand. He looked her in the eyes and asked,
"First, tell me why you're crying."
She sighed deeply and put her other hand on his.
"…I don't want to marry Faymen."
"You don't?" Ned felt his heart leap six feet.
"No. I don't want to move to Brazil either. I just…I just can't leave my family and friends to go to a foreign country. I can't marry him! I don't even think I love him! How can I marry someone I don't love? I don't think I can do this. I don't know what to do!"
"Then don't marry him."
"But what about Faymen? I'm not the only one getting married! He said he loves me! I can't just break his heart! Maybe…I'll learn to love him."
Ned felt his heart go right back down to his stomach. He could almost feel tears in his eyes from frustration. He knew the wedding would begin in minutes and he had to tell Moze the truth soon.
"If you don't love him now, how can you be sure you will later? Why would you take that risk? …Especially when there is someone else who loves you more than Faymen ever can."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm saying… the real reason I got kicked out, the reason why I dressed up as a girl, and a guard, and even a FedEx delivery man. It's because I'd do anything… to tell you …that from the bottom of my heart…I love you." Ned finally released the tears building up in his eyes.
"I love you more than anyone in the world. I can't live without you Moze. You complete me. My heart was ripped to shreds when I found out you were getting married. I knew that I would never be able to live with myself unless I told you how I really felt." By now, Moze was crying even harder.
"I know that I don't have a lot of money like Faymen. I can't promise you a nice house or designer clothes or an expensive car."
He squeezed her hand tighter. "I can't promise you the fine things in this world. You deserve them and I don't deserve you. But I can promise my love to you…and that I will never hurt you…and that I will stick by you no matter what…because that's all I can give." His eyes never left hers.
"…That's all I want."
Ned couldn't believe what he just heard. He cried even harder.
"You do?" he said.
"Yes, another reason why I didn't want to marry Faymen was because I had feelings for you! I couldn't tell you because I was afraid that you didn't love me back. But now after you tell me that you do, the last thing I want is go out there and put on that ring. I love you Ned."
"I love you so much." He touched her cheek with his hand and pushed the tears aside. He looked into her big brown eyes and whispered,
"Marry me." He repeated. "We both love each other so what do you say? You can think about it if you want…"
"…I don't need to." She put her hand on his arm and said,
"Because I already know what my answer is, and my answer is yes." More tears came flowing down.
"You will?" he exclaimed. Ned shot up and practically bounced off the walls.
"Hey! Haha, calm down!" she laughed. He didn't pay attention to a word she said so he picked her up and spun her around.
"I can't! I'm marrying the girl of my dreams!" he put her back down.
"And I'm marrying the man of mine." She smiled and looked into his blue eyes. Ned couldn't take it anymore, he leaned forward and put his lips to her's. She didn't hesitate or stop him. Moze realized that Faymen's kisses couldn't compare to Ned's and scolded herself for not knowing it earlier. He had been in front of her for years and never noticed until today.
They stayed in each other's arms as they parted.
"Let's get out of here. I've got my car."
"Shouldn't I tell everyone the wedding is off?"
"Nah. They'll figure it out. I don't want to get thrown into another thorny bush anyways." Moze giggled as they neared the window to climb down.
A few moments later, a knock was heard on the door.
"Excuse me, the wedding is starting. Is the bride ready?" a voice said.
Soon, Faymen ran outside of the church with everyone else following. Their faces became puzzled when all they could see was a car in the distance with a dust trail rising behind it…
A/N: Yeyuhhhhhh! Hope you like it! REVIEW PLEASE! :D