Good Riddance

Chapter 13

"Okay, this is so not cool. We have all the goddamned power we need, and we're driving a blue mom-mobile?"

Tres shot her an irritated glare. "Listen up Sept. This is the only car I have available. So deal with it!"

The little blonde's glare soured to match the woman's. "But we're an hour outside of Tokyo! Why couldn't we have just popped in and killed her?"

"Because," the Dr. said patiently after they had gone through the conversation several times already, "this was the closest portal. There has been no large amount of power used in Tokyo, so we had to find the next greatest place with residual power, which is where we are right now."

Usagi crossed her arms, refusing to step foot inside the car. "Bull SHIT there's no power in Tokyo! I used to be Sailor Moon, I think I'd know! It's all over the fucking city! I can teleport wherever I want to!"

"Okay then, teleport your little ass inside, so we can go!" Cinq snapped angrily.

Usagi glared at her, and then teleported herself into the car right in- between Uno and Deux, who were looking understandably shocked that she had appeared out of nowhere. The blonde looked like she had just eaten something she did NOT like, or like she had her own personal rain cloud that she was not inclined to share with anyone. Deux patted her on the back.

"What's wrong?"

Usagi gave Deux the worst glare ever seen on Earth, and bared her teeth at the girl. "Shut the fuck up before I rip your goddamn head off."

The brown haired girl scowled at her and then whispered furiously in her brother's ear. He shot a look at Usagi, and then nodded solemnly. This conversation went on for quite a while, until Usagi fired a small ki blast at the two off them, setting off a small explosion. Cinq yelled at Usagi from the driver's seat, Usagi leaned forwards and jerked the wheel, got yelled at, sat back down, and tried to fry a hole through the back of Cinq's chair. Aaron pulled one of her pigtails, she set his hand on fire and got yelled at again.

"WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! THERE'S A DOG IN THE ROAD!" Usagi suddenly screamed.

Cinq looked around frantically, and then yanked the wheel hard to the right. Everyone in the car was screaming, and still screaming when the car spun to a halt. The woman jumped out of the car and searched the road. Her eyes narrowed with the passing of every second. She finally turned back to the car and looked at Usagi, who was playing BS with Aaron (who was losing) and Deux.

"Usagi, are you sure there was a dog in the road?"

The blonde gave her a blank look. "What are you talking about, Drain-O?"

"There is no dog on the road."

"What dog?"

Cinq slammed her fist into her chair. "I am so sick of you! First you have the worst attitude I have ever seen on a strike team, secondly you are unbelievably arrogant, and thirdly you're playing pranks like this!"

"See why everyone's so eager to get rid of me?"

Cinq screeched in frustration and got back into the car. The second before Cinq turned the key, Usagi piped up.

"Wait, wait, wait. Who wants to ride in a convertible?"

"ME!" Deux, Aaron, and Uno yelled enthusiastically.

Usagi smirked at Cinq, and got out of the car. She reached into her pocket and produced a small capsule. Everyone leaned in. She ran away from everyone, and then threw the capsule about five feet away from her. There was a whoosh of purple smoke, and then, before their very eyes, a shining, brand new, red BMW convertible was sitting before them. Aaron let out a whoop and jumped into the driver's seat.

"Gimme the keys, Sept!"

Usagi threw the keys at him and dragged Deux into the backseat. Of course, they didn't *sit* in the backseat. They sat up on the back, where the cover folded down. After all, demons can't be killed *that* easily. Uno got into the passenger seat, and nodded at Cinq (who was looking very irritated).

Cinq glared at the younger kids who were much better looking in their sweeter looking car and gunned the engine. It started off, and Aaron zoomed after it. Once they were going pretty fast along the highway, Usagi leaned in-between Aaron and Uno and popped her "Ten Years and Running" by MxPx. "Punk Rawk Show" blared out of the high-tech stereo, and Usagi began to laugh. Deux leaned over to her.

"WHO GAVE THIS TO YOU?" Deux yelled over the music.



Usagi considered, and then nodded. "YEAH!

Deux burst out laughing. "SWEET!"

The happy blonde demon looked over at her new friend and grinned. "I KNOW! DOESN'T LIFE KICK ASS?"




"You are obviously not paying attention to me," Usagi said, nervously backing away from the necklace, "but I'll repeat myself, out of the goodness of my heart. I DON'T WANT PINK HAIR!"

"Hold her down, Dr.!" Tres yelled.

Usagi shrieked as Cinq and the Dr. captured her arms, and Tres advanced on her with the amulet that was going to give her pink hair and red eyes. Just like Chibiusa! Noooooooo! DAMN KANE'S SPELL!

Cinq leaned down to her ear. "Consider this payback, bitch."

Tres slipped the choker around Usagi's neck and locked it, instantaneously turning Usagi's blonde hair pink, and her blue eyes red. Tears welled up in those big red eyes, and the pink haired girl burst into tears.

"I look just like the little spore grown-up!" she wailed. "I hate you all!"

Aaron patted her on the back. "Well, look at it on the bright side. You're still cute!"

Usagi let down her pigtails and finger-combed the shoulder-length hair. "You don't understand! I knew a tiny miniature me, all the way down to being a total BITCH, and I look like the way she would have looked if I hadn't erased her! This is horrible! This is her way of punishing me for not marrying Mamoru and having her! I always knew there was a legitimate reason why I hated her!"

The Dr. and Tres exchanged a look, and then Cinq shrugged. They let her go, and Usagi threw herself at Tres.

"Take it off! Take is off! Please!"

She looked at the blonde---er, pinky in annoyance and handed her a credit card. "Take Aaron, Deux, and Uno shopping. That will occupy you children for a while, I hope."

Aaron and Uno picked her up and dragged her to the car. "Shape up," Aaron said perkily, "at least we get to go shopping! And you shouldn't let yourself be seen like this in public!"

Usagi sighed and hopped into the backseat. Deux slid in beside her, and Uno got into his customary seat. Aaron pulled out of the parking lot, and then zoomed down the street, ignoring the speed limit signs. They were finally stopped at a red light (only when Usagi and Deux screamed), and Aaron smiled ecstatically.

"I love this car," he said passionately.

Usagi giggled, and then looked out at the person next to them. And gaped. Then a slow, evil smile spread across her face. She leaned over and waved at the man on the motorcycle.

"Yoo-hoo! Papa! Papa!" Getting no response, she tried again. "Mamo-chan! Mamo-chan!"

The black haired man looked over, saw what looked to be his daughter and did a double-take. He blinked once, and then rubbed his eyes. Usagi giggled evilly and waved again.

"Hi Papa!"


Laughing inside, she nodded happily. "Hi Papa! I came back to visit you and Mommy!"

He looked like he had just wet himself. "Oh, really? Where is Mia? She is your mother, right?"

Usagi looked at him strangely. "Who's Mia, Papa? Whoever she is, she's not my mommy. MY mama's name is Usagi, as you should know. Unless you've been cheating on her," "Chibiusa" said dangerously.

Mamoru gulped. "Of course not! I love your mother very much."

Then the light turned green, and Aaron shot off, with Usagi yelling over her shoulder at Mamoru, who was almost run over for not moving when the light turned green. Safely away from the man, Usagi burst into laughter. When Aaron parked in the mall parking lot, she was still laughing helplessly. He turned around to look at her.

"What was that all about, Sept?"

She giggled again. "Well, about a year ago that man and I were "in love". This little girl with pink hair and red eyes barged in on us, claiming to be our future daughter. When we broke up, that generally erased her from either of our lives. Muwahahahaha! So, if our future daughter mysteriously shows up, that would make him think that somehow he and I got back together. And since I didn't know who Mia was, that would mean that she's not in the future. So," she said smiling, "I have singe-handedly created a minor crisis. Life is good."

Deux laughed and pulled her out of the car. "Round one goes to: Usagi Tsukino!"

Mamoru dialed Rei's cell number with shaking fingers. The phone rang for a while, and then she finally picked up.

"What?" she snapped.

He wiped his forehead, and tried to calm himself. "I saw Chibiusa."

"WHAT?" she yelled.


There was a whispered conversation on Rei's end of the phone, and then she came back. "Tell me very carefully what she looked like and who she was with."

"Sure. She was wearing all black. Silver hoop earrings. No makeup. Um, she was with two Mexicans and a boy that looked and sounded American."

Rei relayed his information to someone, and then she chuckled. "Thanks Mamo-baka. See ya."

The violet haired girl pressed the Off button, and then cracked up. The demon, Amos (he decided not to leave because he thought Minako was cute), was smirking.

"I'll bet she got a kick out of that."

Rei laughed again, thinking about the little joke their bunny had played on the poor, clueless prince of Earth. "Poor Mamoru. He actually thought it was Chibiusa.."

Rachel smiled. Usagi seemed to be the type of person who liked to play pranks on people. Rachel had a feeling that if she had gotten to know her, she would have liked the girl before this whole Mia thing happened. Rei and the others were laughing, and Haruka was sitting with her arm around Michiru looking smug. It was sort of a weird feeling.this close companionship. She was fairly certain no one else felt it. She certainly wasn't part of their group. How could she be, when she wasn't even a Senshi? But still, it was nice to know that there was at least on place where Mia couldn't hurt her. Only one, but it was still there. Smiling still, she shot a look at Luna, who was still staring at her intently. She couldn't take it anymore!

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked abruptly.

Luna started, and then frowned. "Because I recognize you. From the Silver Millennium. I think.I think you and Mia were twins even back then. Tell me, quickly! Which one of you is older?"

Rachel blinked. "Well, I am. But only buy three minutes, so it never really mattered---"

"Well it matters now. According to the Lunar laws of succession." she suddenly broke off, and then sagged. "Oh, damn. She's done it. She's gone and named Mia her heir. We're doomed," Luna said simply.


"No!" a female voice cried out at the same time.

"Too late," a masculine voice said in amusement.

"I swear I hate that girl more everyday," the first voice muttered.

"She's *your* problem!"

"Why are we here again?" a new voice asked.

A pink haired girl with red eyes marched into the room, followed by six other off looking people. None of which looked entirely pleased. The girl (obviously the most enthusiastic about everything) smiled and waved.

"HI! I'm here for num-m-m-mber one: kick Mia's sorry little ass! Number two: help this dear old planet GET AN UGLY BITCH OUT OF IT'S FACE! And, most importantly, number three: BECAUSE I'M ON A KICK ASS SUGAR HIGH!"

The very cute boy with spiky red hair and green eyes massaged his forehead. "Remind me never to give her cotton candy ever again, Uno, please."

The other very cute Mexican boy nodded agreeably. "Sure. I'm hurt by all this too, you know."

"You're not the only one," the other Mexican grumbled.

"Oh, how sweet! Satan sent out seven little demons to slap me around a bit. I'm flattered."

The laughter dropped from the seven's faces, leaving only hard surfaces. Usagi's face twisted with a hate so bitter, it made Rachel want to run. She and four others dropped into a crouch. Rei took a step forwards, ready to blast Mia into oblivion when a voice they had never heard before scorch Usagi's lips.

"Catch me if you can!" she hissed.

Then they were gone, and Mia with them. The two demons left behind were very systematically setting up several computers. The Mexican boy walked over to the TV and hooked a wire into it. Then he turned it on, and everyone stared as the five demons and Mia appeared on the screen. The Mexican gave the woman a thumbs up.

"We're on, Cinq. It's show time!"

"You don't seriously think you can beat me, do you?"

Usagi glared at her, and then leaped into the air, followed by the other three demons. Following some cue that could not be seen or heard, they all fired one powerful blast at the smiling Mia. They hovered there for a moment, wondering if it had even effected her at all. Then the dust cleared, and they had their answer.

They hadn't even touched Mia. The girl smiled at them, and then looked up at Usagi.

"Oh, Usagi! Look at this! I have a brand new trick! Cosmic Moon Power!"

Usagi watched with a sinking stomach, and she knew they weren't going to get out of this very well. Mia began to glow with a bloody red light. A small pinprick of light glimmered in front of her forehead, and Usagi threw herself at Aaron.

"Get out of the way!" she screamed.

Deux shot into the air right as the blast of high-powered energy shot right through the space where she had been seconds before. Tres looked insanely pissed right when Mia's attack ripped a hole through her chest. Deux screamed out and tried to fly for the falling demon, but Usagi shoved her out of the way and erected a shield around them just in time to partially block another attack. The two girls were blown back into a mountain. As they were falling backwards, Usagi twisted so that she took the brunt of the attack.

She was slammed into the ground, and cried out in pain. Deux was thrown to the side, and landed head first. Aaron joined them in the dirt five seconds later. Usagi moaned, trying to ignore the full extent of her pain, and closed her eyes. Over and over again, she saw Mia's smirking face as Usagi was slammed against the mountain. Over and over. That smirk was replayed, magnified, and intensified each time Usagi saw it. An ugly, twisted thing rose in her breast, and she sat up painfully.

"Whoever said hate was a bad thing was sooooo wrong," she said softly.

The blonde pushed off the ground and rose into the air. Wincing at every brush of air against her damaged skin, she burst forwards, heading right towards the spot where Mia was undoubtedly polishing her fingernails. Usagi thought of nothing but every aspect of her life that Mia had ever ruined, and the hate in her heart grew, writhed, intensified, and then bloomed into a power that was fed directly from her soul. Spotting a small flash of silver below her, Usagi skidded to a halt, and then landed.

Mia glanced up at the sound of Usagi's feet hitting the dirt, and then looked back at her nails. She smiled a pretty, cruel smile. "Hello again, dear Usagi. So you're still alive. I can't say that I'm pleased, but I am somewhat. satisfied that you didn't die. I am greatly anticipating your torture, and your death directly following that."

Usagi adopted a smirk that no one but pure royalty could pull of. It was that smirk that said clearly that you were God, and no one could prove otherwise. "Mia, dear, I'm entirely overjoyed that my appearance is satisfactory to you, but here. Let me get you the number of someone who gives a damn about what you have to say. Because, frankly, I don't. Shall we dance?"

Mia gripped the Crystal, and smirked semi-royally. "We shall. Cosmic Moon Power!"

The larger attack screamed though the air, but Usagi batted it into the air with a flash of black energy. "Oh dear. Was that *all* you have? Really, Princess Serenity only has one trick. Various intensities of only one attack. Truly, it gets dull. Now let me show you a trick a little bird taught *me* recently."

She closed her blue eyes, and before Mia could even take advantage of the opportunity, black fire ripped around her feet in a circle. An unseen wind lifted her blonde streamers up, and with a shout the fire roared into a towering column that crackled with red lightning. Inside, Usagi screamed in pain while huge bat-like wings tore from her shoulder-blades. A red demon's tail grew from her tailbone, and the black Japanese symbol for "chaos" flared into existence on her forehead. Her street clothes changed into a sailor fuku (surprisingly). It looked much like her Eternal fuku, except in red and black. The skirt was slightly shredded, which made her look like she had just come from an intense battle. The regular bow on her chest was instead a dull red jewel that throbbed with a disturbing black light, framed by what looked like several black and red ribbons interwoven together. She wore black ankle boots, and had strange looking tattoos up her arms. The sleeves of her fuku looked like they had been ripped off, and then lengthened, adding to the returning champion look. To add to the whole look, Usagi's eyes changed into a dark, almost black blue, flecked with red. Thin black streaks ran through her pigtails, giving her a punk look that she had never even dreamed of achieving. Her hair was still to her shoulders, which was also a bonus.

The black fire vanished, leaving a slightly startled Usagi. Mia's expression was positively shocked. The "princess" had apparently not been expecting this certain twist in things. The brand new blonde senshi inspected herself in interest. A tiny, feral smile graced her lips.

"Guess who I am?"

Mia growled slightly, and held the Crystal to her chest. "Obviously someone that needs to be taken out. Senshi or no."

Usagi smiled, advancing on Mia. "Even so. Humor me."

The princess was finding herself backing away from this new Senshi. There was just something frightening about that certain fuku mixed with the smile Usagi was wearing. She said nothing.

Usagi didn't cease her advancement. "Do you know what Chaos is?"

"Evil," Mia replied promptly.

"Wrong," Usagi said fiercely. "Chaos is just anything that isn't quite. correct. It covers evil, yes, but that does not mean that it is evil. Haven't you every been taught that magic is not evil? It is only evil by the way its user wields it. Of course Chaos has been used for evil. I've taken down some of them myself. But here's the thing. For Chaos to be used properly, it needs a keeper. This "Keeper" duty fell to a Princess. This Princess' mother was terrified of the power her baby had, and so locked it away deep within her baby's heart. For all of that baby's life, she was scared away from her magic, shoving away the raw power," Usagi drawled, relishing the word on her lips.

"So the Chaotic powers had to be passed to someone else, temporarily. This person couldn't handle it, and tried to kill the true Keeper. Well, like it or not, one day that Keeper finally got a slap in the ass and figured out just who the hell she was. And here she stands before you. Allow me to introduce myself," Usagi said, giving Mia a mock bow.

"Sailor Chaos. Completely not at your service. You know what the best thing about this form is?"

Chaos's fingers tightened around air, and then suddenly there was a thin, lethal looking energy sword in her hands. She moved both hands to grip it, and then looked up at Mia, who was looking terrified.

"The speed," she said, teleporting right in front of Mia.

"And the absolute," she paused, and stabbed her sword into Mia's belly.

"Power," she finished, letting the blade fade away.

Mia's hands went to her belly, and stared in semi-shock at the blood flowing from the wound. Her eyes went to Chaos' and she shuddered. Falling to her knees, she tried to keep the blood from spilling even more.

"You're a monster," she whispered brokenly. "And I still.."

"Hate me?" Chaos asked coolly. "Aw, I feel so unloved now. Say your goodbyes, Liko."

With one well aimed blast, Chaos rid herself of the one that had been plaguing her mind ever since she had ruined a certain blonde's life. Even if it was for the better, Chaos told herself. Mia shouldn't have been messing where the water was too deep. She pulled off her finger-gloves and picked up a pinch of Mia's ashes. Smirking slightly, she tossed it behind her shoulder, and rubbed her foot in the rest of it; crushing all the power sources.

Chaos turned around and stepped softly over to Tres' fallen body. Sighing softly, she knelt and hefted the woman into her arms. Struggling desperately not to get all teary about the kitten fearing woman, she lifted off into the air and flew over in the direction of the Dr.'s hideout. She found it in the guise of a large, bright blue tent. Smiling, she touched down and walked through the flapping doors and deposited Tres gently on the floor. The Dr. looked up in surprise, and then looked hard at Chaos, who smiled roguishly.

"Like my costume?" she purred.

The Dr.'s cheeks flamed, and he hurriedly went over to Tres. Seeing the hole in her chest, he looked inquiringly at Chaos, who nodded sadly.

"Yeah. She's dead sorry, Doc. Now, if it's not too much to ask, can we PLEASE get out of this hell hole?"

Aaron coughed and looked up at her from his back. "I don't think we could stop you even if we wanted to." A certain gleam came to his eyes. "What *is* that costume, dear?"

"Not for your enjoyment," she retorted. Chaos suddenly smiled craftily. "It's for someone else."

"Who?" Deux asked, popping suddenly into consciousness.

Chaos linked her hands behind her back and tilted her head back. "Oh, someone you don't know. I think he'll enjoy it a lot. Once he gets past his slight problem."

"What problem?" Aaron and Deux asked together.

Chaos looked significantly at them, and a look of understanding dawned on their faces.

"Oooooooh. *That*."

She giggled, and nodded. Chaos made a tiny motion with her left hand, and she was suddenly the familiar blonde haired, blue eyed demon. Usagi giggled again, and gave Aaron and Deux a huge hug.

"Now that's what I'M talking about," Aaron whooped.

"Baka!" the two girls screeched.

"Even though he is a kawaii baka," Deux whispered in Usagi's ear.

Usagi burst out laughing, and Aaron looked more than offended. "Excuse me, but could you PLEASE talk about me behind my back when I'm not here? That would be a major boost to my self-esteem. I seriously think my problem is that everyone talks about me right in my face! It's seriously damaging my self-image!"

"Shut up, Q. Cinq and Uno are 'porting us back," the Dr. said roughly.

"Roger," the three younger demons chimed.

The Dr. rolled his eyes, and punched the button. Without even a warning, the four (plus one body) were standing in the living room looking very pleased with themselves. Rei launched herself at Usagi.

"What did you DO? We saw that whole new transformation! Who are you?"

Usagi bowed. "Sailor Chaos, at your service."

Minako squealed. "You looked so kawaii! Evil, rabid, bunny kawaii, but kawaii! And that whole light saber thingy! That was so cool! How come we don't have cool things like that? Oh, the look on Mia's face was priceless! I was like: WOW!"

Usagi glared at the other blonde, who stepped back, giggling sheepishly. "Of course, it wasn't a LIGHT SABER! Oh ho ho! Not a LIGHT SABER! It was so, like, um, not a light saber! Totally a much cooler glowy sword! That you stab people with?" Minako finished timidly.

Everyone burst out laughing and after a minute of sulking, Minako joined them. Ikuko smiled, and hugged her baby. "Usagi, I'm just glad that you're safely home. Now, are you going to be staying?"

Usagi glared at her. "Not like I want to. But, seeing as you pay for everything, I'll stay until I complete my fortunes."

Amos sniggered. The blonde whipped her head around and stalked up to him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him down to her level.

"I will never forgive you. I am never, ever going to speak to you ever again. You or Tony!"

Amos snickered. "I can't believe you forgot."

Usagi's face darkened. "Forgot what, jackass?"

He smiled indulgently. "I'll give you a hint. Kawaii, depraved French d--- girl. Insane Irish criminal. Pot smoking heroes. Fem-boy. Slightly crazy American who likes to light people on fire. Knife throwing, homicidal model. Singing, car stealing Canadian. Trigger happy heartthrob. Braided baka. Sadistic homosexual trainer. Demonic drill sergeant. Have I covered everyone?"

A look of pure horror descended on Usagi's face. "I am going to die," she said with great finality.

Amos shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'm looking forwards to your confrontation with that Hiiro boy of yours. Or will you go for Ranma? Possibly even that Duo?"

Amazingly, Usagi blushed a low-keyed pink. "Not Ranma. Duo, GOD no! Lorraine's got him staked out! I don't think she's going to let him get away."

Ikuko, Haruka, and Kenji advanced on her. "And?"

Usagi gulped, and spun, coming face to face with Rachel. "AAAAAAHHHHH!!! MIA'S COME BACK ALIVE! WATCH OUT!"

Rachel giggled. "I'm not Mia. I'm her older sister, Rachi."

A wicked gleam came to Usagi's eyes. "Well in THAT case! As the rightful Tsuki no Hime, I hereby announce Liko Rachi as the NEW rightful Tsuki no Hime, also as the new, brand spankin' new SAILOR MOON!" Usagi shoved the Silver Crystal into the startled Rachel's hands, and then took a giant step back.

There was a small flash of light, and then there was a tall, slender woman with long lavender hair standing before them looking incredibly angry.

"Princess Serenity! You can't do that!"

"What? What? I can't hear you! The LAST princess you set up just tried to kill me, I'm a little bit fucked up right now!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" the woman screamed.

Usagi opened her mouth in a little 'o'. "Oh, I heard that! And guess what? I JUST DID! SCREW YOU!"

The blonde demon suddenly vanished, laughing madly. The woman burst into angry tears, and followed suit. Apparently deciding that it wasn't worth hanging out without Usagi, the visiting demons vanished, also. Gohan just stared, and then turned to Luna, who was standing beside him and looking quite calm about everything.

"Is this normal?" he blurted.

Luna, Rei, Ami, and everyone else looked at him in surprise. Then Minako let out a full belly laugh. "Oh God. Poor Gohan. This is everyday stuff!" she exclaimed, waving her hand airily.

"Oh, really?" Rei asked, eyebrow twitching.

Realizing what she had implied, Minako clapped her hand over her mouth. "Ano.iie, Rei-chan! Iie! Not normal! Not normal! But, um, definitely not weird. More..normal than weird. I mean---"

"We get it, Mina-chan," Makoto said soothingly. "Here, let's all troop down to my place, and I'll make us some cookies, saa?"

Minako squealed happily and hugged Makoto hugely. Ami giggled at their antics, while Rei just rolled her eyes and tried to look above silliness. The effect was ruined somewhat when Minako hugged Rei "for forgiving her". Hotaru looked up from her comic book, smiled slightly, tapped Michiru's shoulder. The woman nodded and smiled, and picked up their coats.

It was only a few minutes later while they were walking to Makoto's that Haruka realized something. "Koneko never told us who Hiiro was!"

"Now, Haruka.."



Camp Happy Pines (at long last!)

Usagi peeked out from behind a tree. Lorraine, Bleac, Nick, Ranma, Trunks, and Goten were standing there looking incredibly glum. They were Cabin Teners! They had absolutely no right to be glum! No right at all!

She stomped over to them and yanked hard on Ranma's braid. His head snapped back, and he spun ready to attack. The poor boy was obviously not expecting someone so much below his line of vision. Well, he wasn't expecting Usagi either. His jaw dropped open and he just stood there in a half fighting stance with his mouth open wide.

"What the HELL is wrong with YOU?" Usagi shouted.

Lorraine spun, and let out a blood curdling scream. "BUNNY!"

Bleac, Lorraine, and everyone else glomped her all at the same time. They were all talking to her at once while Usagi tried to recite a garbled version of her adventures in the other world. The pilots, Relena, and James had heard the scream, and had run over to the site as quickly as possible. Needless to say, they were slightly puzzled when they saw almost all of Cabin Ten involved in what looked like a highly emotional group hug. Duo suddenly let out a happy shout, and hurtled himself into the hug.

Then all the others caught the familiar blonde odangos, and grinned. Except for Hiiro, who glared even more. She was going to get it.

Usagi finally wriggled out of the hug, and ran over to give her Uncle Sanagi a big hug. "Ohayo, Uncle Sanagi! I didn't leave you! I only went to kick some serious bitch ass!"

He winced at her language, but hugged her back, anyways. "Watch your language," he said gruffly.

She giggled, gave a quick hug to James (who was crying loudly), and then walked over to Hiiro. Usagi grinned up at him. "I made up a costume that I think you should see," she announced. "Consider it my apology for leaving you all to your trigger happy self."

"If you ever run off like that *ever* again, I'm going to be forced to kill you," he said solemnly.

"I'd like to see you try," she challenged, pushing her face up close to his. Ha! See him get out of this one.

He seemed to realize that he was trapped, because he smirked down at her. "I can be very, very good at torture," he warned quietly.

"I'm sure," Usagi said equally softly.

Minutely shaking his head, he closed the distance and kissed her. Usagi felt her knees going weak again, and put her arms around his neck. It wouldn't do to faint while he was working. Who ever knew Hiiro was such a great kisser? I mean, damn.

Lorraine coughed loudly, and Lexie whistled loudly. Bleac whooped. "Get a room," they all yelled.

Usagi twisted out of Hiiro's arms and grinned cheekily at them. "I will!" she yelled back.

Hiiro went beat red, and Usagi giggled. He was so kawaii! Lorraine ran up to her, and yanked her away.

"Sorry to burst your little bubble, girl, but we've got a tournament to win!"

The announcer stepped timidly up to the podium and looked out over the great sea of faces. A few in particular stood out, and the nine were all grinning evilly at him. His knees went weak, and for one horrible moment he thought he was going to cry. The teens from Cabin Ten had never been so mean to him before! But, he had to admit, they would call it being very, very nice.

It honestly wasn't Bleac's fault that the man was fine, and that he had a hentai side. It also was completely not her fault that she was overly fond of being a tease. It was entirely her mother's fault for not getting her the Ken doll when she was seven. It all started then, really.

So, just to make him sweat, the redhead grinned incessantly up at the podium, where she could see the sweat beginning to break out on his brow. GOD, it was so much fun playing with people like that!


A few seconds later, the crowd roared in pleasure when a certain lavender haired, red eyed Canadian broke though the finish line. She skidded to a halt, and did the Happy Fish Dance on Tuesday over to her group, who whooped, yelled, and raised several cans of spray paint into the air. God forbid.


Lorraine dipped her toe into the water and shivered. God DAMN it was always so fucking COLD. Why, oh, why had she signed up for swimming? Her trained eye went right to the guys in swim trunks and nodded to herself, already remembering why she had volunteered so easily. Sighing loudly again, she drew the attention of every male on the dock. Lorraine shook her head, sending her flattened hair spiking back up again.

When she was well on her way to reducing a nearby boy to a quivering pile of mess, she found two glares being directed at her. One was from Duo, who was obviously a teensy bit displeased with her show. She winced slightly. If he got mad at her, it would ruin all her chances of her getting him in one of her thongs. The other glare was from Usagi, who had been gesturing wildly for the last few minutes. The blonde made a quick motion with her hand, which meant: Are you going to play with Duo-kun tonight?

Lorraine nodded. Usagi looked like she wanted to squeal. She made another hand motion, which meant: KAWAII! And then another which meant: Where should I get Hiiro to play?

Lorraine thought for a second, and then made a long, complicated motion. Usagi's eyes widened, filled with unwanted ecchi thoughts. She shrieked loudly, and then burst into laughter. Lorraine slapped her forehead, and then realized that Bleac and Mary were trying very, very hard not to lose composure. She had forgotten that Usagi had taught them. Oops. Hiiro was looking from Usagi, to Lorraine, to Bleac, to Mary, to Duo, and then back again, trying to figure out what was so funny. Duo looked as clueless as Hiiro, but he was at least able to get the gist of the conversation. He leaned over to Hiiro.

"Hii-chan, your girlfriend and mine are planning some hentai things for us. I'm scared."

Hiiro glared at him, and the braided boy laughed. "You'll never change!"

Usagi shot them an evil look. "Don't be so sure, Duo-kun. I'm very capable of taking, wrapping, and corrupting, thank you much."

The gun suddenly blasted, making Usagi scream. Lorraine fell into the water with a gurgled shout, but resurfaced and zoomed through the water through the finish line.

"BOINK!" she yelled enthusiastically when she pulled herself onto the floating dock at the finish line. Everyone blushed, but at least acknowledged the slightly insane Lorraine as the winner.


Which, actually, wasn't very exciting, because Trunks toyed with his victims before finishing them off with even one punch. He had a slight problem with that bitch Tendo, but he was so pissed at her that it really hadn't made any difference. He didn't even toy with her, actually. He just sent her flying out of the arena and into the audience, who cheered on as Trunks took his bows.


Nick was bored. Oh God he was so bored. Life was just psycho enough not to try suicide, but it was too boring to actually take an interest in what he was actually doing. He felt someone come up behind him and growl menacingly.

"Nicky, if you're even thinking what I think you're thinking, I'm going to rip your balls off, mutilate them beyond all repair, and then staple them to your forehead."

He turned around to smile at the pissed blonde. Knowing she hated the gesture, he reached down and patted her on the head. "I'm not going anywhere, Bunny. Any helpful, probably violent tips for archery?"

Usagi nodded vigorously. "When you see the bull's eye, just imagine that it's---"

"Excuse me, but you can't talk to him right before the test."

Usagi gave the volunteer a cool stare, and then watched in delight as the man scurried off. "As I was saying. Are you mad at anyone right now?"

Nick tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well," he said slowly, "I'm pissed at my mom."

"Okay, good. Well, imagine it's her heart; alive, beating, keeping her here so that she can bitch and rip you to shreds the second you get home."

"You're a sick, twisted person, Usagi Tsukino."

He got a bull's eye all the ten times he aimed and fired.

Needless to say, Cabin Ten won again. The games continued, and everyone was getting bored. Cabin Ten kept on winning, and winning and winning. Usagi won the Tree Course in record time, seeing as she had caught sight of a slightly smaller version of the spider she had destroyed a while back sitting on one of her opponent's shoulders.

Ranma actually had entered into the fencing event, and did quite well for someone who mostly relied on his fists. There was just something comforting about waving a sharp object at an opponent.

And of course, a good Game can't have ONLY sports like what had been seen, so they had a dance off. That had probably been the hardest to score. There were some amazing dancers in the group, but when Bleac got up there to Dirty Vegas' "Days Go By", it was pretty much unanimous that she was the winner. There was, however, one particularly entertaining event down in the pit before the agility contest.

Usagi ran over to Tsuzumi, waving happily. "ZUMI! ZUMI! I've saved you for EVER now! You owe me!" she said smugly.

Lorraine, Hiiro, Duo, Bleac, and Lexie all looked at her in confusion. What the hell was Usagi talking about? The blonde was standing with her feet spread apart, with her hands on her hips. The black haired model stood up, very, very slowly.

"You realize," she said softly, "that I'm going to kill you."

Usagi frowned, secretly delighted. CONFRONTATION! She thrived off it! "Why?" she asked innocently. "We're not bound anymore! So. what's the problem?"

"The PROBLEM is, my dear, that I was the temporary Keeper. You are now the Keeper. Everything goes to you. I AM COMPLETELY POWERLESS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Shiro threw herself at the blonde, who screamed in terror and flung herself at Amos, who was just barely materializing. She clung to him, and turned on the tears.


Amos frowned at her, and then dropped her on the ground. "Don't touch me," he said fiercely. "You'll get more magic on me," he mumbled. "Shiro, just because you have a so-called "lifetime guarantee" that her death won't effect yours, you still have to consider one thing. Since you're both connected completely to Chaos, to kill one would be the destruction of the other."

Usagi and Tsuzumi both stared at him in shock, completely ignoring everyone else. Tsuzumi took a deep breath, and took a big step towards him.

"You tricked me," she finally said softly. "You threatened to tell everyone about Usagi and me, if I didn't shut up about your little sister problem!"

Amos held his hands up, glancing at Usagi, who was looking more and more interested by the second. "Now Zumi-chan---"


Usagi began to look dangerous. "Explain, Amos. Now."

He gulped, and backed up. "Usa-chan---"

"TELL HER!" Tsuzumi screamed.

"TELL ME!" Usagi screamed.

"ALL RIGHT! Usagi, you're my litter sister, I'm sorry to say. Half- sister, anyways. We've got the same Dad, Lord Samuel of Saturn. Shinigami told me that if I could get you to find your Chaos powers, I could get my Affirmation of Reincarnation, and I would be allowed off my city-arrest. So, I threatened to tell everyone about how if you kill Zumi-chan, you die, and visa-versa. She shut up, and I did too. So now she's without her powers, you're WITH them, and I'm allowed to FINALLY get reincarnated!"

Usagi laughed. "Oh, is THAT all? I'm glad you told me, nii-kun! I'm ALSO glad to get back at Zumi-chan for nearly---"


"YOU CAN'T," Usagi screamed back, laughing madly.

"I don't care!" The model shouted angrily.

Usagi let out a small squeak and threw herself behind Wufei, who reflexively drew his katana. Seconds before Tsuzumi impaled herself, Usagi saw the danger and screeched loudly.

"Tsuzumi, watch out!" the blonde yelled as she shoved the other out of the sword's way.

The model saw the sword's point nearing Usagi's belly, and knocked her feet out from under her. When they were both certain Wufei wasn't going to kill either of them, they immediately went back to clawing at each other. Amos just began to back up, and tried to disappear. Usagi and Tsuzumi both saw this and attacked him.

"Nii-chan, you can't leave yet!"

"I still need to kill you!"

Amos yelped, threw them away from himself as hard as he could, and escaped back to Abbadon as quickly as possible. Maybe Shinigami had a reason for not letting him up onto Earth. He seemed to always get people riled up. He couldn't imagine why.

Leaky magic runs in the family, hmm?

Lorraine and the others just watched while the two girls grappled with each other on the ground. Duo cocked his head, and Bleac just smiled wryly.

"This is about the weirdest thing I have ever seen!"


"That's your cue, Zumi-chan," Usagi laughed as she ducked a well aimed punch.

"I don't give a damn!" Tsuzumi yelled, trying to gouge Usagi's eyes out with her nails.

"Zumi, if you don't get up there and do the fucking test, I swear to God I'm going to hurt you very, very badly," Lexie growled, walking up to her.

Tsuzumi flipped her hair over her shoulders. "I don't give a damn about Cabin Ten."

A smirk danced across Usagi's lips. "If you don't get up there, I'm going to kill us."

"I hate you," Tsuzumi said finally, stomping over to the contest arena.


The crowd erupted with cheers, but everyone in Cabin Ten just stared. The ankle race? The ankle race? James picked himself up off the ground, and his eyes filled with tears, remembering the last time they had played the ankle race game. He had tied Lorraine's ankles to Usagi and Bleac, and set them off at a run. They hadn't been able to get off the ground afterwards.

Usagi gulped, and shared a terrified look with Lorraine and Bleac. They all gave each other a big hug, murmuring things like, "I'll remember you," or "I'll see you in Hell," or "I was better off knowing you,".

Suddenly Lexie gasped. "Guys! I have an idea! Here's what we're going to do.."

Everyone stared in anticipation as the Cabin members lines up to take the last, and hardest test. From the stands, Quatre, Duo, and Hiiro could see their girls lining up, smirking. Just watching Usagi give a significant look to the others made Hiiro want to smirk. Yes, Usagi was certainly one of a kind. Smart, pretty, and best of all, she didn't take crap from anyone. He was proud of her, even though he knew that he had nothing to do with her current attitude.

Quatre on the other hand couldn't believe that he had gotten mixed up with someone like Bleac. What would his father have said? His uncle, whom he *called* Father, was nice enough, but the boy was fairly certain that he wouldn't appreciate adding Bleac to the family, if they ever got around to legalizing their togetherness. Oddly enough, even though Bleac stood for things that he wouldn't dream of standing for, he was proud of her. She, like Usagi and Lorraine, were strong individuals that were screwed over as children, and somehow managed to turn out as pretty good people. Despite the fact they were all criminals. but they were nice, pretty, and charismatic criminals, he thought, justifying his actions.

For the track course, Lorraine looked up at Duo and blew a kiss. Duo grinned and made a signal with his fingers. Even from up where he was, he could see Lorraine's look of shock, chagrin, and then delight. The black girl was laughing, and then was elbowed sharply by Bleac, and then leaned over to whisper something to Usagi, who cracked up. God, he was lucky. Even if his girl was insane. it worked for him. God, wouldn't Hilde be *mad*?

Lorraine giggled again, earning herself a strange look from Usagi.

"What's wrong with YOU?" she asked loudly.

Akane looked over at them, and smirking. Cabin Ten was notorious for their inter-cabin fights. This could be good. If she was lucky, they'd trip over themselves while they were fighting. Suddenly Ryoga poked her.

"Akane-chan, they're talking to you," he said softly.

She glared at him. "Shut up, Ryoga." Turning her head away, found herself looking into sharp, painfully brilliant blue eyes. It was then that Akane noticed that Usagi's eyes were tinted with a light, light shade of red. Realization slapped her full in the face, and she opened her mouth, but Usagi beat her to it.

"What the hell were you staring at us for, bitch?"

"Why aren't you human?" Akane retorted.

Everyone in Cabin Six turned their head to look at the smirking Akane and the-grinning?---Usagi. The blonde linked her hands behind her back, and rocked back on her heels.

"Because I made a nasty little habit of killing people I don't like," she returned levelly.

Lorraine grabbed Usagi's arm and dragged her back into line. "Come on, Bunny. He's getting ready to start. Okay guys---"






"---three! Can can, can you do the can can, can you do the can can---!"

And so Cabin Ten can-canned their way to a mocking, laughing win. When Nick shoved Trunks over the finish line, everyone else was yanked along with him by their ankles. Usagi and Bleac clutched at each other, laughing.

"Oh God.." Usagi gasped out.

"Did you see Tendo's FACE?" Bleac giggled.

"She looked so MAD!"

The two collapsed into giggles, but were dragged to their feet by pleased boyfriends. Hiiro tried to glare at Usagi for a minute, but was suckered into giving her a big hug by her huge puppy eyes. Duo and Lorraine had no such qualms, and Quatre gave Bleac a chaste kiss on the cheek. Or, he tried to. Bleac twisted at the last moment, turning it into lightly more than a chaste kiss.

Shy, Sanagi, and James ran up all trying to shout over the other. Realizing that they were going to get to the group first, Shy finally stuck her foot out, tripped her uncle and James, and launched herself at Usagi.

"Usagi!" she cried, sobbing. "I don't know whether I should kill you or hug you!"

Usagi smiled comfortably from the constricting circle of Shy's arms. "Hold me," Usagi said mock-passionately.

The brown haired girl hurriedly let go of her, causing Usagi to laugh.

"Why the hell would you want to kill me?" Usagi asked curiously, trying not to laugh at the expression on Sanagi's face while he tried not to look at Quatre and Bleac. Lordie..

Mary put her hands on her hips. "Well, I wonder dumbass! Ever since I met you I've either been talking to demons, running for my life, giving people Bitch Talks, or getting guns shoved in my face!" she yelled, giving an evil look to Hiiro, who just shrugged.


Usagi just laughed. "It's not my fault!"

Everyone stared at her, and then Duo cleared his throat. "Actually, Usa- chan," he paused at Hiiro's glare, and then hurried on. "You leak magic, baka!"

The blonde stared at them, and when she got no consolation, cracked up. "Damn, I love live," she whooped.

That night---

Relena stood on the stage behind the podium, eyes suspiciously shiny. "Everyone," she said in a trembling voice, "I have to say, I have been profoundly influenced by this summer, and the events that have come along with it. I have learned that when something is unattainable, you don't sit around waiting for it to come to you. You get up and go off looking around for something better, or almost as good. Everyone at this camp helped me understand that. I'm also going to go home with a larger understanding of this world's teens, and what makes them tick," she said with a ghost of a smile.

"But before I start crying, I want to welcome Bleac Jones, who is going to sing a song for us, as our last memory of this camp."

The redhead bounded up onto the stage, and yanked the microphone from the unresisting Relena. Swinging towards the crowd, she beamed at them happily. Bleac withdrew a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and scrutinized it carefully. Apparently deciding that it was evil, or dirty (which was probably more like the truth), she waved it at the crowd irritably.

"Hey y'all! On this paper RIGHT HERE," she said, putting a special significance on the words "right here, "says every goddamn thing I'm supposed to say to you. Guess what?"

She ripped it up. "It's bullshit! To Hell with all that emotional shit, and let's just get to the fucking point. This camp was the most horrible goddamn thing that I have ever gone to. But the things that have happened to me here are---well, there's been some pretty cool shit. I've gotten myself friends who are just as screwed over as I am, and as an added bonus-- -I have a boyfriend! I tried to think of something that wouldn't bore you TOO much, and Bunny---"

Usagi yelled something that Bleac ignored (but made everyone around her snicker).

"Hi Bunny.. And Bunny demanded that I said something about Green Day; her Gods. So, I found a Green Day song that pretty much sums this camp up. Not my usual style, but pretty nice. Ladies and gents, say hello to "Good Riddance", by Green Day."

She cleared her throat, swung her guitar strap around her neck, and let the words pour from her mouth.

"Another turning point/ a fork stuck in the road/ time grabs you by the wrist/ directs you where to go/ so make the best of this test/ and don't ask why/ it's not a question/ but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable/ and in the end is right/ I hope you had the time of your life. So take the photographs/ and still frames in you mind/ hand it on a shelf of good health/ and good time/ tattoos of memories/ and dead skin on trial/ for what it's worth/ it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable/ and in the end is right/ I hope you had the time of your life/ it's something unpredictable/ and in the end is right/ I hope you had the time of your life/ it's something unpredictable/ and in the end is right/ I hope you had the time of your life."

She bowed, red hair tumbling haphazardly over her shoulders. The crowd burst into wild cheering, prodded on by an enthusiastic Shy, Usagi, Bleac, and Lorraine. Catching sight of a figure making its way to the stage with a CD in hand, Relena decided to clear the area, knowing that it was about time for Usagi and her friends to turn this place into a raging madhouse.

Relena turned to go, and ran right into five girls who were smirking evilly at her. Usagi and Shy grabbed her arms, while Lorraine and Bleac picked up her legs.

"WE'VE GOT THE LADY!" they all screamed together.

Relena heard the answering roar of the crowd and struggled desperately to get away. No luck. Usagi, Lorraine, Bleac, and Shy ran out to the edge of the stage. The crowd spilled forwards to meet them as they flung themselves and Relena into the throng. The pacifist shrieked in terror, and was dimly aware that she was glad to be wearing shorts.

The next day..

Usagi glared furiously at the window as they pulled up to the bus stop in Tokyo. She could already see her parents. Were they even aware that nothing had happened to her at camp? Nothing that they wanted, anyways. The image blurred, and for one second she was terrified that she was going blind again. Then she realized that her cheeks were wet. She was crying.

"Shit," she muttered softly.

Nick patted her shoulder. "Crying?" he asked softly.

"Of course not!" she snapped.

"Well, good. 'cause I am, and, well.."

She turned back to him, and discovered that indeed, Nick's eyes were filled with tears. Deciding to go with it, she burst into tears and flung her arms around him. She felt another set of arms, and then another, and another, and another, and another. Lorraine, Trunks, Bleac, Goten, and Lexie. They were all bawling.

Usagi distantly heard Tsuzumi's loud sigh, and her footsteps exiting the bus. Trunks finally broke away scrubbing furiously at his face to be rid of the tears.

"Remember guys," he said huskily, "don't change. Well, you can change, Lorra---"

She punched him lightly, and then drew herself up tall. The black girl slapped Usagi, Lexie, and Bleac lightly.

"Come on guys, we don't want them actually to think that we got emotional after the camp, do we? Come on! Goddess faces, folks! Gods, for y'all!"

Usagi nodded, and composed her face into a haughty mask. Then she snuck a look at how Bleac was doing, and totally lost it. She doubled over laughing, while Bleac looked at her in confusion.


"Your lipstick is smeared," Lexie muttered, dragging everyone off the bus.

"That's because she was snogging Winner the whole way home," Nick muttered.

Usagi took a step towards her family, and then turned around. "G' bye, Lorra-baka. I'll miss you, Bleac. And everyone! God, I hate---"

"Goodbyes," everyone finished glumly.

Suddenly Lorraine laughed loudly. "Aw, come on guys! You don't seriously think this is goodbye, do you? It's a fact," she said to their sad faces, "That people like us attract other people like us. And since there is no one else like us, we'll meet up again! No worries!"

Usagi nodded, and gave Lorraine one final hug. "Bye Lorraine! Don't get Duo *too* excited over moving in together," she muttered.

Lorraine laughed. They went through another round of hugs, and finally, reluctantly, went to their parents. Lorraine watched her best friends walk away. Somewhere in the crowd she could hear Lexie's mother asking what kind of activities she had done.

"None of your damn business! But if you really want to know, I did some major time social adjustments," Lexie was saying with a snicker.

Lorraine could almost see the look from Lexie that the poor Chinese boy was trying desperately to ignore. Alas, no one could ignore Lexie for long, and he was no exception. He glanced at her and immediately turned beet red. Lexie's mom noticed and hurried her daughter away with all possibly speed.

Usagi was shouting obscenities at her brother, Ranma was insulting anyone who talked to him, while making plans with Nick, Trunks, and Goten to run away (it sounded like it was going to work!). Bleac was happily recounting her escapades at camp to her beaming father.

The black girl stood against the wall for the better part of an hour while the buses were unloaded. She watched silently as her friends left, and the buses rumbled off without a single thing to remember the teens it carried. Finally, when the lot was cleared, Lorraine stepped from the wall and twirled in a circle.

She wobbled to a dizzy halt, regained her balance, and reached into her pocket. Pulling out a black box of matches, she kissed it, and then raised it to the sky.

"Who's God?" she no one in particular. "I am," she said to herself smugly.

Ten years later:

Une waited impatiently for the man to pick up. Typical of the man she had met to wait for the last ring to pick up. Right before she was about to hang up, he picked up.

"What?" he snapped into the phone.

"Hello to you to, Wufei Chang," she said pleasantly, sifting through the stack of pictures Usagi had sent her.

The one she was holding was of a group of twenty year olds. There were at an ice-cream parlor. She recognized the pilots, of course, and Usagi, but the others were unknown to her. What shocked her about the picture was that the people were obviously having a food fight, because Quatre had ice cream all over his face. A redhead girl was aiming a spoonful at Hiiro, who was getting ready to tickle the blonde who was now the most terrifying business tyrant in the world.

Wufei paused for a long time. "Une?" he asked finally.

"Yes, it's me. I haven't spoken to you in ten years. How are you?"

There was another long pause. "Fine," he said gruffly.

"Actually," Une said pursuing her hunch, "I haven't spoken to you since I volunteered you for Relena's summer camp. How did that go?"

A very long pause. "It was interesting," he said finally.

"Ah. Did anything happen?"

Yet another pause. Then, "Damn it woman! I'm trying to talk on the phone!"

Une could hear a woman's laughter. Her interest sharpened. "Wufei, who's that?"

"My wife," he said reluctantly.

Bingo!---she thought triumphantly. "Where'd you meet her?"

He swore softly, and there was another feminine giggle. "At the camp."

Yes! She hadn't even known that Usagi Tsukino had been a delinquent, but when she had received a package of pictures from the woman along with a list of numbers, names, and a small note, which read: 'We met a camp', she had begun to suspect.

She of course had to check up on it.

"What's her name?" she asked.

Another huge, gaping pause. "Her name's Lexie."

"Lexie Chang. Interesting. Was she a volunteer?"


"Ooooh. And. you still married her? I'm impressed, Chang. Now, I need to know if you have Maxwell's number. Barton's too, if you have it. And Yui's. And---"

She stopped when a baby's wail filled the air. Wufei groaned. "Listen, onna. I need to go. My brat just woke up. Bye," he said as he was hanging up.

Une smiled at the phone in her hands, and then placed it back into the cradle. She pulled another picture out of the pile. This one had obviously been taken in Quatre's garden. There was a sleepy looking redhead in her pajamas, smiling happily down at and equally sleepy looking Quatre, who was only in his boxers. Une studied the picture, and then found a familiar blonde head peeking from a bush. The black girl beside her was giving a thumbs-up sign to the person who was taking the picture. Looking closely, she could find several more heads looking in on the meeting---no. It was a proposal, from the way Quatre was kneeling, and holding the woman's hands.

She carefully dialed the number on the back. Une let it ring for a while, and then hung up. No one home. How disappointing. Now she would call Duo. Une doubted that it would even be his number. Duo had never been the easiest person to get a hold of. Sometimes he was worse than Hiiro.

Someone picked up on the third ring.

"YEAH?" a woman shouted into Une's ear.

Une held the phone away from her ear, and when the ringing had stopped, she brought it back. "Hello? May I speak to Duo Maxwell?"

The woman laughed. "Well, it depends on who it is. If it's Fei-chan, sure. Hii-chan, sure. Trowa-san, sure. Quatre-chan, IIE! But you're a woman, and unless you're having a torrid affair with him, you may speak to him."

The woman waited. Une cleared her throat. "No, uh, affairs, ma'am. I would just like to speak with Duo Maxwell."

"Well in that case," she said cheerfully. "DUO-KOI! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF THE COUCH FOR A SEC AND COME HERE! SOMEONE WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU! Oh, koi? Remember that we have to go to Bunny's party."

"Hai, hai. Only if you don't forget to go! I had to go alone last time, and Usagi was furious! I was afraid she was going to go Chaos on your ass!"

"Gomen, gomen. Just talk to her!"

"Hello?" Duo asked, laughing.

"Konichiwa, Duo. How are you?"

"Une?" he gasped. "I haven't heard from you in so long! How ARE you? I'm fine! I've got myself a wife and two kids! That's an accomplishment, right?"

"For a twenty seven year old? Hai. I'm fine. I've been calling people and catching up on old times."

"Who've you called?" he asked interestedly.


"That was a shock, ne? With Lexie, and all. God, none of us were expecting it. We were all just sitting about in Starbucks' chatting when Wufei walks in and announces that he's going to marry Lexie, who looks just AMAZED, and then he just walks right back out. It was hilarious!"

"Great. Now, who's that woman that was screaming in my ear?"

"Oh, her? She's my wife, Lorraine. She likes to get over excited, and she has just been told that she got the part for the new movie called Monkey Wrench, based on the novel by Rachel Liko. Ha! Lorraine was right when she said that we couldn't NOT see each other! Minako Anio is in the movie, too! Ami Mizuno is doing the research for the medicine involved, Michiru Kaioh and Haruka Ten'ou are doing the music, Rei Hino is directing it, and Makoto Kino is going along for the ride. Funny how those things go isn't it? Have you ever tried Kino's food? God, she started up a restaurant WITH FIVE MILLION STAR RATINGS over in Europe. Barton has said some good things about it."

Une was about to comment on his mini-speech, and how his talking ability hadn't changed a bit when she was interrupted yet again.

"BAKA! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Lorraine screamed at him from somewhere in the house.

Duo laughed. "Gotta run. See ya 'round!"

Une listened to the dial tone for a while, and then hung up. Shaking her head, she dialed Hiiro's number. Someone picked up right away.

"Michiko?" he asked urgently.

"Iie," she said uncertainly.

"Hello," he said sullenly after a long pause.

"Hiiro?" Une asked hesitantly. She had hoped that he had changed.

Another huge pause. "Hiiro's my dad."

"Are you sure? Who's your mother? Who is this?"

"No, Mom won't tell me who my dad is. She says it would be the biggest scandal since Mr. and Mrs. Winner. Who're you? You called me!" he challenged.

Une heard a woman's heels clicking against the floor, and then an irritated voice. "Mr. Anderson, I can assure you that I had nothing to do with your daughter's stock problems. Now, for the last goddamn time, get the hell out of my face before I give the press a story that 'll really make them dance," the woman threatened. "Oh! Motoki! Who're you talking to? Give me the phone. Hello?"

Une swallowed. She knew that voice, and frankly, it was a voice that scared the living daylights out of her. "This is Une, Ms. Tsukino."

There was a delighted laugh. "Une! How delightful to finally hear from you! I trust that you got my package?"

"Yes, of course. Why did you send it to me?"

"Oh, I was getting bored. Any questions in particular?"

Did she have questions? Noooo. Of course not. "How's your family?"

Usagi snickered. "My first mother hates me, my second mother is dead, my second father is a New York cop whom I LOVE to terrorize, and my third mother and father are still trying to figure out how a delinquent like me wound up as a business woman."

Une almost smiled, but suddenly came up with another question. This one more pressing than the last. "Who was the boy that answered the phone?"

"My son, Motoki. Isn't he sweet?"

Une heard the little boy laugh madly from the other side of the phone and winced. Like mother like son. "Who's his father?"

There was a loud sigh. "I can't tell you. Motoki is right outside the door, listening in. Let me get you Hiiro."

The line went blank, and Une was on hold. She echoed Usagi's sigh. That Tsukino woman was really an interesting character. Being the most formidable woman in the world, she should have been mean, strict, and downright ugly; spiritually. Yes, Tsukino was mean. She was ruthless. She cut down all opposition. But she had an unbelievable wild side, and a capacity for alcohol and fun that was beyond belief.

"What do you want, Une?"

She smiled. Hiiro hadn't changed much at all, then! "Why hello, Hiiro. What would you say if I had a mission for you?"

"Declined," he replied lazily. "Now what do you want?"

Well THAT had been a shock. Une collected herself, and readied herself for round two. "Are you Motoki's father?"

He paused slightly, and then chuckled. "Hai."

And she's out! Her mind pulled herself back up, but decided to sit back down for round three. It was closer to the floor, that way. She aimed, and fired. "Are you married to Usagi?"


AND SHE'S OUT! Une sighed in frustration. All right, maybe he had changed. After all, he was siring bastard sons, laughing, having ice-cream fights, and declining missions. "Why not?"

"Because if I marry her, I'll go to Hell. And as much as she loves it, I need to think about it for a bit."

Une laughed, but stopped when she realized he wasn't joking. "Ano, Hiiro. Maybe you could explain this picture?"

"Maybe. Which picture?"

She swallowed again, and looked back down at the picture. It was kawaii, except for the fact that there was a man half-materialized floating in the air behind the couch. In the picture, Hiiro was sitting with his arm draped around Usagi's shoulders. The blonde was looking to the right (at Wufei), and she looked like she was torn between laughing and gushing over how sweet the picture was. Beside them the redhead and Quatre were looking awfully close. Like they wanted to be in a different room. Interesting, for Quatre. Wufei was being kissed by a lavender haired girl, and was looking terribly pleased about it. Frozen right as they were walking into the room, there was a handsome man with spiky black hair swinging a six pack of beer. Right behind him was four others: one man with longish purple hair, one with a black braid, another with blonde---almost white--- hair that had been spiked, and Duo, who was giving a pretty black girl a piggy back ride. They were laughing, and carrying toilet paper too.

Une could almost see him smiling. "That was for Lorraine's twenty-fifth birthday. That party lasted two days. One day one we sat around, ate pizza, reminisced about camp, heard stories about Hell, and watched movies. The second day we all went downtown and shopped. Lorraine made us dress up in prom dresses." He suddenly laughed. "And then that night we toilet papered the White House."

"How the hell did you get in there?" Une gasped. She had heard about that! No one had ever gotten to the bottom of it! It had driven the President mad!

"We got 'Sagi to 'port us in. She's Class AA now. No, don't ask. You wouldn't believe me. Have you tried calling Winner yet?"

"Yes, but he wasn't home."

Hiiro snorted. "He's at the hospital with Bleac, who's having her third child. They have an obsession with children that frightens us."

"Hiiro," Une asked finally, "are you glad I volunteered you for that camp?"

"Very. Oh, damn. Motoki, no! The Queen of England gave us-"

There was a huge crash, and Hiiro sighed long-sufferingly. "I've got to go. Maybe Usa can fix it up.." He was muttering as he hung up.

Une smiled craftily. It seemed that the Drs never had to resort to Mission 5.5. That was to be the mission where they recovered the pilots' lost humanity. It seemed that Camp Happy Pines was a Mission 5.5 all in itself. Who to call next? Ah. Barton.

She dialed the number carefully, and waited. And waited. And waited. And was about to hang up when---

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hai, Trowa?"

"Une?" he asked in surprise. "What are you calling about?"

"I just wanted to know how you are," she said defensively.

"All right. What do you want to know?"

Une smiled. She could always count on the stoic man for information. "Who's Ranma Saotome?" There had been a list of names included with the pictures, thank God. It seemed that Camp HP was a story just waiting to be told.

"A wealthy billionaire who discovered the antidote to the Cursed Springs. He of course, tested it on himself, and is now one hundred percent male. He also went to camp with us."

"Camp. Damn camp," she muttered. "And Nicholas Baker?"

"Another camp boy. Opened a clothing store with his best friends Trunks Briefs and Goten Son. It is rumored that they are homosexual, but it has been a proven fact that all three are severely homophobic. Seems to be something that happened in camp. Nevertheless, their clothing is amazing (as the critics say) and is very, very popular right now."

A suspicion grew in her. "Trowa, what is your occupation?"

There was a long, embarrassed pause, and then he mumbled something. She smiled. "What did you say, Trowa-san?"

"I said that I'm one of the most accurate and successful critics in the world. I'm very high in demand, and everybody wants my opinion on everything," he mumbled.

"You sound like you're reading that off something!" she laughed.

"I am. The New York Times. I have to go. Someone wants my opinion," he said sarcastically.

"Sayonara, Trowa-san."



They could change all they liked, but they'd never truly lose who they were. She pulled out another picture, and was dismayed as a silly smile leapt to her lips. Une tried to wipe the smile from her face when Relena walked into the room, but discovered that she could not.

"What is it, Une?" Relena asked curiously, taking another photo from her hands.

The blonde woman blanched, and then brought her face back under control. "What's this?" she asked softly.

Une sniffled again. "It's Quatre-kun's wedding to Bleac Jones."

"Bleac Jones?" she gasped. "The redhead from camp? Impossible!"

"Possible," Une said happily. "I apologize, Relena-sama, it's just that when I was younger, I read fairy tales all the time, and they always had happy endings. I never thought happy endings were real, truthfully. But I see Hiiro, Wufei, Quatre, Duo, and Trowa happily enjoying their happy endings, so I figure, I might as well get mine too, ne?"

"You call being married to an Irish criminal a happy ending?"

Une sighed, and smiled at the picture again. Quatre's face was as red as a cherry tomato, and beside him Bleac was looking radiant in her black wedding. There was a huge group of people in the picture with her, including Usagi Tsukino, Minako Anio, Lorraine Maxwell, Hiiro Yui, Haruka Ten'ou, Rachel Liko, and many, many others. The smiles on their lips were big enough to split their faces in half.

"Relena-sama, there are different KINDS of happy endings for different people. A happy ending could have been that Usagi was saved by her knight in shining armor. Do you think she would have taken kindly to that? No. Endings have to be flexible," she said, smiling at how silly she sounded.

"Weird endings happen to weird people. That's life."

Relena sighed. "Hai, I guess so."

They both jumped when the doorbell rang. Une frowned. She hadn't been expecting anyone. The woman walked over to the door and opened it. Une found herself staring right into dancing blue eyes. Usagi waltzed past the frozen Une into the house, laughing. Lorraine, Hiiro, Trowa, and everyone else came pouring in after her carrying presents, wine, and food. Usagi, Lorraine, and Bleac hugged her, watched by a smirking Relena.

"You planned this! Canceling all my meetings like that!" she said furiously to Relena, who just smiled.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNE-CHAN!" everyone yelled.

Une tried not to smile as they swept her into the festive spirit. They DESERVED a weird ending, she thought sourly.


Okay. That's it. That's the end. All gone. No more. Aren't you just sad? Well, hear this. Good Riddance is the only story I have ever completed. And damn, it was a BLAST to write it! I had so much fun! I hoped you liked your trip to my weird, twisted world. Please prepare to return to normalcy.

*wriggles fingers*

There. Now you're normal again. *begins to cry* I'll miss you! Bye! Don't forget to wriiiiiiiiite! *sobs louder*