Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS:LA or the wonderful song by Lady Antebellum

This is my first NCIS:LA fic so the characters may be OOC. Please REVIEW and let me know what you thought! I would love to get feedback so I can improve and know what I did right!


I know that the bridges that I've burned
Along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars
That won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

Kensi was guarded and she knew it. When scar after scar was layered upon her heart, she knew she had to put an end to the pain so she built walls and kept people away from her damaged heart. Her heart had been broken too many times.

After he father was murdered, her whole world came tumbling down. He had been her mentor, her teacher, her confidante, her best friend, her dad. And then someone had taken him from her leaving her alone in a world full of people. Since his murder was never solved, Kensi knew she had to work in a field that brought closure to families and brought justice in a world full of evil.

Then Jack came into her life. She loved him, but then the call to serve his country took him away. He left with the promise to return to her and marry her. But when he returned, he was a different man changed by war. Although she tried, everything to help him through his PTSD, it wasn't enough and without warning he left her. Her heart broke again, this time leaving her with doubts about herself and no self esteem.

She had dated a few times since Jack, but there was never any real attraction. Her standards were high and she was scared they would see her faults and leave her. So she put the walls up not letting them getting close enough to see the cracks in her personality and heart. Finally another guy came along and she started to fall for him just as she began to take the wall down, the criticism and comparisons started.

Now she limited herself to only first dates and even then she revealed little about herself always keeping the focus on the man across the table. Of course, she had the longing of being with a man that would truly love her, faults and all, but she never allowed them close enough. It was too dangerous, she couldn't risk it. Kensi was a strong, independent woman with a career that gave her the chance to give justice to others.

She loved the excitement and thrived on the adrenaline. Her stoic personality was guarding her emotions at all times... until Deeks came along. At first she had been only annoyed with her partner. She instantly did not like him because he was replacing Dom. But after she got used to the idea and the constant flow of words coming from him, she found herself wanting to open up to him about anything and everything. A few times she came very close to being vulnerable and talking to him, but then her senses would return, the walls would go back up, and she would either walk away or shut down.

As their time together continued and the partnership grew, she had feelings she would not let herself explore. The times of wanting vulnerability and honesty increased, but each time she would stop herself because just what if, she couldn't really trust him and he would break her heart and their partnership. She valued his friendship and could not risk letting him any closer. But time went on and her feelings for him became obvious to her. Kensi was attracted to her partner in more than just a physical or personality sense. She honestly wanted to be open with him and let him inside the wall. The question was could she really let the walls fall down and let him in.

In order to let Deeks in her heart, she had to reach out to him, be vulnerable, be honest, and wait for his reaction. He could reject her and tell her he did not feel the same, but in order to find out she had to tell him her feelings first. And hope that if he did not return her love that they could carry on as partners and friends.

So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

Kensi woke up in a cold sweat, fear causing her heart to beat out of control. Another nightmare. She could not make it through many more nights like this. Although she was strong and remained stoic at work, she was still human and had many weaknesses.

This time she had been standing against the wall in the room shaking with exhaustion and fear praying her team would rescue her in time. Then the room went black and one by one the lasers illuminated. Red glowed around the room. She was so tired. Then finally Deeks showed up and she begged him to save her. She began to make her way through the beams making her way to her partner. But suddenly the lasers began to move towards her and there was no room to maneuver. Then Stanley King is there and the lasers have enclosed around both of them. He grabs her hair and gets ready to beat her and she looks towards her partner begging for him to save her, but he can't reach her. When King prepares to punch her, he triggers a laser and everything explodes. Now she can see everything being blown to bits including herself and her partner.

And that is when she wakes up shaking with the realness of it all. Both cases had come to close to death and they had both really bothered her.

Kensi cannot handle it anymore she picks up the phone and hits speed dial #5. After the sixth ring, she begins to end the call but then she hears a rustling and Deeks' voice, "Kens, are you alright?"

"Um, I am fine, but I was wondering if maybe...you could come over. I..." She pauses shaking her head. She should not have called, she can take care of herself, "Never mind, it's stupid. Sorry I woke you."

"Whoa whoa, hold on a second. Whatever it is it's not stupid and I was just getting up anyway. I will be there in ten minutes," Deeks had already begun pulling on jeans as soon as he answered.

Kensi smirked despite the nightmare lurking at the edge of her brain, "Deeks, it's three in the morning, you were not just getting up."

Deeks shrugs on a shirt, "Well, I would have been in three hours so same thing. Do you want to stay on the phone or just see me when I get there?"

"I can wait until you get here," she still could not believe she had called and she was even more surprised at how quick he had been willing to come and he didn't even know what was wrong.

Deeks grinned, "Alright, Princess, see you in a minute give or take a few."

She smiled and ended the call.

Almost exactly ten minutes later, a quiet knock sounded from her door. She unlocked it and let him in. He grinned at her as he sauntered into her living room. He hid his real feelings of concern as he took in her troubled eyes and the dark circles underneath. There was a look on her face, he had never really seen. One of fear. "So Kensi, did you just wanna see me?"

Kensi rolled her eyes, "No. I, uh" her voice dropped to a whisper and she broke eye contact with him, "I needed you." She sunk onto the couch and brought her knees up to her chin.

Deeks had definitely never seen her so vulnerable. He sat next to her on the couch angling so he could see her and still give her space if she wanted it, "I'm here. What's wrong, Kens?"

Resting her cheek on her knees, Kensi searched Deeks' eyes. It was now or never. She was honest and open, "I have been having nightmares ever since the op with King and being stuck in that laser room. I can't take it anymore Deeks. I wake up scared and alone and I just can't take it anymore." A tear slid from the corner of her eye and trailed down her face.

Leaning closer to her, Deeks wiped the tear away with his thumb and answered her quietly, "You're not alone. I'm always just a phone call away. Wanna tell me about it?"

"It's normally the same, but tonight was the worst," Kensi went on to explain the dream and as she talked she propped her feet on the coffee table leaning back into the comfort of the couch.

As she talked, Deeks took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb back and forth methodically. When she finished Deeks asked, "What part scares you the most?"

Kensi shrugged, but answered quietly, "I guess not being able to get to you. It's at the part of the dream when I realize that I can't reach you and there is nothing either of us can do that I feel the most panic. Then you just stand there even though you know you will die and we just look at each other until everything explodes." She can feel her hands shaking and she tries to stay calm.

"I know this probably doesn't really help, but Kensi you did reach it. We did look at each other and the room did explode, but we made it out together," Deeks can feel her shaking and wants so badly to comfort her. "But your dream was accurate, I would stay with you even if it meant I would die too. We are partners and I would not leave you ever."

She freezes and stares at him with those intriguing eyes and he wonders what he said. Her voice is barely a whisper "What?"

"We lived, we are both okay," Deeks struggled to answer and tried not to make anything worse, "I'm not helping, uh, you're safe Kensi and..."

Kensi cut him off, "No not that part. You said you would never leave me?" All this time she had this fear that she had never told anyone and without even knowing it, Deeks had reassured her.

Deeks frowned a little trying to understand, "Yeah? I'm sorry, I am really trying to understand, but I'm not getting it."

"Deeks, I need to tell you some things," She looked deeply into those misty blue eyes until he nodded and she continued. "For most of my life I have had a wall around my heart keeping people out and hiding myself inside. I have been brave and stoic never showing my weaknesses. I never let people in because then they could leave me. My dad was murdered, my fiance left me, and the only other boyfriend I ever got close to constantly criticized me until finally he just disappeared. I am not vulnerable or honest with anyone. Then you come into my life, and I suddenly want to open up to you, but I hold back. But then I needed someone so I called you and you come immediately and you comfort me but didn't crowd me and without even knowing it you calm my deepest fear. You said you would never leave me."

Understanding dawns on him and Deeks moves closer to her taking her other hand in his, "It's true, Kensi I would never leave you. You're my partner and my best friend. I care about you."

Taking a deep breath, Kensi turns her whole body to face him, "Deeks, I...I need to be honest about one more thing. It could ruin things, but I have to know," She can feel the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks and she looks down trying to blink them away. When did she let herself get so emotional!

Deeks tries not to listen to his own feelings and focuses on Kensi, "Hey, you can tell me whatever it is."

She makes eye contact letting her tears escape, "I think that I'm in love with you." Kensi stares at him waiting for the let down trying not to start sobbing.

He is surprised, very surprised, but maintains eye contact the whole time until a slow smile spreads across his face, "I think I'm in love with you too, Kensi."

Kensi can feel her mouth drop open, she had never let herself dream that he would actually love her back, "You do?"

Deeks laughs, "I do. I'm kinda upset you said it first, but I can handle it, I'm a man."

She laughs too, "So uh now what?"

"Well I already said I will never leave you and I didn't just mean it in the partner sense so now I think it would only be fitting if we kissed," Deeks waits for her reaction holding his breath.

Another tear trails down her cheek, "I think I am ready for that kiss."

Letting his breath out Deeks, smiles again and then lets go of her hands. He raises a hand to the back of her head and ever so gently puts his fingers through her hair to hold her head. He slowly raises his other hand to brush her cheek and then slide to cup her face in his palm. She leans into his touch and lets her eyes flutter closed as he draws her closer to him. Then they are kissing, a soft, sweet, slow kiss that chases away any doubts they have about their love. After a few moments, Deeks pulls back and Kensi raises her eyelashes to meet his ocean blue eyes. Those eyes draw her to him.

She had always thought he was attractive, but now that they loved each other he looked even more attractive to her and she could not look away from his blue eyes.

Deeks smirked at her, "Like what you see?"

"Your eyes are like the ocean and since I'm being honest here, I do like what I see," Kensi returned his smile and had to stifle a yawn.

"Your eyes are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen and I'm glad you think my eyes are like the ocean, I love the ocean. But that is a conversation for another day, I think right now I need to put you to bed."

Kensi raised her eyebrows questioningly and then Deeks frowned, "That's not what I meant Kensi Blye." She just laughed and he continued, "You seriously need sleep."

A cloud came over Kensi's face, "Even though we talked about my dream, told each other we love each other, and kissed, I still am scared to close my eyes."

"Don't worry, Princess, I will be right here with you when you do."

Feeling slightly shy, Kensi asked, "Deeks, will you hold me?"

Eyes sparkling, Deeks answered quietly, "I would like nothing more." He lay down on the couch with his head on a decorative pillow. Kensi lay down next to him and rested her head on his arm. As soon as she was settled, Deeks wrapped an arm securely around her waist pulling her close to him, "Kens, I really won't leave you, I will protect you, comfort you, and hold you anytime and all the time."

"You have no idea how much I have wanted to hear those words from you." Kensi felt herself relax into his protection and comfort.

Deeks answered, "You have no idea how long I have wanted to say them. I'm glad you called me Kensi. Now close your eyes, I've got you."

As her eyes began to slide closed, she whispered, "I'm glad you've got me." Her eyes were closed, but then she frowned and opened them, "Deeks, how did you get here? Your car isn't working!"

Laughing Deeks answered, "I ran, Kens. So sorry if I don't smell the best, I kinda had to break my personal best to get here in ten minutes." Kensi nodded her head and let her eyes close. Deeks knew she was almost immediately asleep, but he stayed awake nearly the rest of the night. Every time she tensed with fear probably in the midst of a nightmare, Deeks would pull her closer reminding her subconscious that he was there with her every step of the way. Then after a few seconds she would relax and so would he.

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty
When I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody
But it's never too much
I'm falling fast but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my wall

s

Sun streamed in through the window and Kensi began to wake up. For a second she tensed noticing the arm encircling her waist, but then she remembered and a smile played on her lips. Deeks was holding her, he held her all night. He had chased her nightmares away and told her he would never leave her.

Deeks mumbled, "Good morning, Fern. How did you sleep?"

"Wonderful. Thanks to you all my nightmares ended with some hot surfer guy pulling me out of harm's way. Then that beach boy would kiss me and my nightmare was no longer a nightmare, it was a dream."

"You should always look out for surfer dudes, they are hard to deal with," Deeks teased.

Kensi smiled and shifted slightly in his arms, "Why would that be?"

Smiling Deeks answered, "Well, since they are so hot, a lot of girls want their attention so you have to be very able to fight them off."

"I think I can handle that," Kensi moved to sit up, "Thank you for holding me, but now I have to get up cuz I'm starving."

Slowly Deeks let her go and when she stood and looked down at him, he winked, "Kensi, you look hot."

Frowning and smiling at the same time, Kensi replied, "Are you kidding me? I just woke up, I'm sure I look awful."

"You could never look awful, besides you look rested and happy. Now will you help me make breakfast?" Deeks stood and walked into the kitchen.

Kensi followed him, "Well, I guess I owe you since you're complimenting me so early in the day."

Kensi and Deeks had been happily dating for two months. They had been working a particularly trying case and Kensi had had enough of the slow process of wild goose chases and lies. She was irritable to say the least.

Kensi came out of the boat house interrogation room and slammed the door, "Why do they all have to lie! Does no one tell the truth anymore? Can't they just give up and give us the information so we can all move on with our lives? No, of course not that would be too easy and make too much sense."

Deeks stifled a laugh, "You're one to talk, Ms. I don't like to lie, but I don't tell people the truth about me cuz I have walls?"

"Oh sure, use my weakness to make fun of me, I don't care," she spun on her heel and paced across the room.

"I would never make fun of you, Kiki," Deeks teases a little more. She has got to loosen up or she would not be any help on this case.

Kensi perches a hand on her hip, "Whatever, you always make fun of me."

"Name a time," he challenges her.

"Anytime I'm eating or anytime you know I have been eating sweets, but I hide it cuz I don't wanna share," Kensi smiles proudly because she named a time.

He knew she would, "Hey, it's not my fault you're a junk food hoarder."

"I'm not!"

"Ha, you so are. I find chocolate bars and other snacks hidden around our car, around your desk, and in the ops room."

"Well, I get hungry. It's not like the eating affects me anyway and you never complain when I share."

Deeks grins, "Nothing to complain about. I like a girl that can eat. Except I am upset about one thing."

Kensi squints at him suspiciously, "What?"

"Where is your stash in this dang boat house? I look everywhere and nothing."

"Maybe there isn't one," Kensi smirked and turned away avoiding eye contact.

Pointing at her, Deeks raised his voice in a mocking tone, "Oh no! You looked away, you so have a stash in here. Where is it?"

"That is one secret I will not be open about," Kensi let out an exasperated snort when Deeks made a pouty face and whined, "You never tell me anything."

Kensi laughed, "Deeks, you are the one person I do actually tell things too, don't push me." She pierced him with a mocking stare.

"I win!" Deeks punched a fist in the air.

"How do you consider me getting the last word you winning?"

Deeks grinned cockily and titled his head at her, "You smiled and you laughed!"

Kensi sauntered over to him, "Why did I need to smile?"

"Cuz while you may look sexy when you're mad, it doesn't really help the case out. And I like your smile," Deeks met her in the middle of the room and pulled her into a hug.

Kensi went willingly and relaxed into him, "Thanks Deeks, I needed that. But we probably should not be hugging at work."

"Probably not, but I don't care," Deeks rested his head against hers.

"Deeks, wanna know a different secret?"

Nodding Deeks answered, "Yes I do."

Kensi looked up at him staying in his arms the whole time, "You made it past my walls and I'm happy you did. I'm not even scared that I'm falling for you."

"Well, it was an exhausting climb, but worth it. And I will catch you, that's the great thing about love," Deeks dropped his head down to her, "I'm especially good at catching lips so if you wanna fall a little, I would be more than happy..."

Kensi captured his lips with her own and leaned further into him. A few seconds later she mumbled against his shoulder as he held her in a hug, "Sometimes Deeks, you talk too much."

So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

Kensi knew she never had to be alone again because Deeks was right next to her. She loved him and he loved her. And now every time a nightmare plagued her sleep, he was there holding her and giving her a feeling of safety and love. His eyes would lock onto hers and calm her in the middle of a case. She would be mesmerized by those ocean blue eyes until she was once again sane.