A/N: oh my GOD ugliest crying forever. in actuality i hate my entire life because this show ruined it
In that last moment lies many fragments of moments, a million glass shards of words and emotions that he, king of all the words in the world, lets die in his throat and fizzle in his brain. He doesn't say them. He doesn't want to, need to — could he even if he tried?
After he's come — and they've both spent their last drop of energy on this goodbye — he brushes the sweat off Justin's brow and waits. He waits for something to happen, something beautiful, something poignant and poetic, but there is only the fragment of the moment, the words that die and the fluttering of his eyes. His fingers tangle into Justin's hair. The words float away.
In that last moment, when the many fragments of moments take place, when the words he doesn't say die, a little thought makes itself known.
Sentimentality. That's why he kept the rings. He could never marry, he could never look-not-touch, he could never spend the rest of his life counting down the days until death do they part. Sentimentality. The words he doesn't say.
Justin's eyes blink open and he watches the thousands of tiny deaths there, do us part. He watches something happen. It's what he's been waiting for his entire life.
"Don't forget about me." And oh God, how could so much regret and anger and sadness be present in such a single moment? How could he already be missing something that hadn't left his arms? And — do us part — in a year, ("probably not even that long"), would they remember each other's names? ("You don't think of me at all.")
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
And he whispers them into the crook of Justin's neck, his arms wrapped around his shoulders, don't let me go, don't forget about me.
Always remember my name.
He listens to the steady rise-and-fall and waits for something to happen. Do us part do us part, I love you I love you, always think of me, never stop thinking of me.
He closes his eyes (and the sky falls, just a little).