Having just found himself alone, and two years behind the rest of the world, Commander Shepard sat alone in the mess hall of the SR-2 NORMANDY, refusing every attempt from his crew at companionship, instead deciding to drown in his own misery.

He would rather be in his own cabin, but EDI currently had it in lockdown; she wanted him to "be more social".

Miranda glanced over at the man across the room from her, the split second of eye contact was enough for her genetically enhanced mind to note even the most minuscule of details.

His jaw was clenched; this meant anger or stress.

His eyes were a dark shade of grey instead of their usual deep purple; pointed to stress.

His ears were a dark shade of red; this piqued her interest; something was stimulating him.

Nostrils slightly inflared; excitement.

Commander Shepard is currently sexually frustrated. She decided with a sniff. He must have an object of affection; and this object is causing his distress.

He leaned back in his chair, and groaned as he ground the palms of his hands into his eye sockets.

At this rate, continued trauma will affect the mission's success. She fretted, biting her thumb between perfect teeth. I cannot allow this to continue.

"Miranda? What's up?" Jacob said without concern when she suddenly stood.

She pursed her well-shaped, bright red lips, inwardly debating whether to answer. Jacob is friendly with the Commander. He could be useful. "I must seduce Shepard. And I need to start now or else it will be too late."

Jacob almost fell out of his chair.

"Standby for assistance." She stated coolly, then took off.

Her black heels clicked across the floor and she ran a hand down the front of her chest, down her side, then smiled, pompously smug at the perfect cleavage, at the most perfect of curves. Her weapons ready, she took her place across from the Commander Shepard; a small revolving chair.

"Go away" He grumbled, head covered by his hands. "Leave."

"Commander." She waited for him to lift his head, make eye contact. Then she arched her back and sucked in air, expanding her repertoire. "I must discuss something with you, privately." Dark lashes aflutter, she spoke rough and seductive. "Perhaps we should retire to your… cabin's bedroom and spend some… private time…..together" She purred the last word perfectly. The Commander wouldn't stand a chance.

His head dropped back into his arms and he started snoring.

++++++AFTER COLLECTOR ATTACK++++++++++++

"Tali's in trouble!" Shepard shouted, looking more alive than they'd seen him in months. "Garrus, I need you for this mission!"

He had just returned from a conversation with the Illusive Man, and suddenly his corpse-like self that seemed to go through life asleep had been shed; and the butterfly that had saved the universe as they knew it had emerged. He could be doing ballet in the cockpit with Joker, and they would have been less surprised.

His arms were overfull with bundles of Dossiers, and they all fell to the floor as he held one triumphantly before the turian; his most loyal friend. "Full speed to Haestrom!" He shouted, then chuckled as Joker muttered a response. He spoke in lower tones to his friend beside him. "We're going to pull her sorry self out of a helluva tough place. She'll be begging to join the crew once we get down there." He was giddy; Miranda noted the shaky hands and crinkling of the eyes.

She searched her memory for the name Tali, and came up with an image of a light-obscured face; a hooded purple quarian trying to shove down the guns of hostiles and fellow quarians. Her photographic memory threw in texts summarizing Shepard's salvation of the Citadel, and Tali's accompaniment throughout it. Tali is a previous crewmember Miranda let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. It made sense. Shepard had gotten more and more energy since reuniting with Garrus Vakarian; of course he would be excited to make contact with another ex-Normandy comrade. For a second time.

Shepard grinned foolishly at his friend as Garrus reacted enthusiastically to the idea of rescuing an "idiotic quarian wench that never could take care of herself no matter how big she tried to talk just like this one crook I met back when I worked at C-Sec, man that was a laugh you interested alright so this volus…". Jacob and Miranda winced in perfect harmony at the turian's constantly running sad-excuse-for-a-mouth.

After Garrus' story had run its length, Shepard and he shook on partnering up for this particular mission. Once Miranda realized the Commander seemed to have no intention of recruiting any other crew members, she volunteered. Only to be rudely shot down by a complete and total fool.

"Bringing a Cerberus Operative on a mission to recruit Cerberus-hating quarians is hardly a good tactic." Garrus grumbled loudly.

Jacob perked up. "Take me then. I can be a priiize they won't forget."

This was met with three withering glares to which the man excused himself to go tinker with some weapons with Mordin.

"Besides me, who else can you take? I can keep my mouth shut when need be, unlike my unnecessary counterpart. Mordin is too busy trying to find out a way to the Collector's base. I'm the only reasonable choice. One squad member will fail you, just as only one arm will fail you." She turned to Shepard, and was close enough to smell his breath of minty freshness. "With two, you can be complete. One whole being." She breathed the last word into his nostrils. Miranda had made sure to rinse twice with her Cerberus-approved tooth-cleaning and breath-freshening materials. A delicious breath enticed many a man.

It must have worked, because Shepard shrugged his approval. "Come along if you'd like, I really don't care. Just don't get in the way of the mission." He said vehemently.

She smiled coolly and triumphantly.

Garrus shook his head disappointedly as the duo left the room. "You're too easy on the Cerberus trash, sir."

To which the Commander burst out laughing.

A/N: Thanks for reading hopefully I'll have the next chapter within the week.

I love criticism. Even if you just wanna say "I hate this story. It sucks." Just the fact you read it warms my heart. Don't be shy now.

The little review button in the bottom left(?) gets itchy. It likes to be clicked and gets lonely if you leave it alone.

So go on. Give in. Touch it. Click it. You know you want to.