A/N: Sorry that it's been a while, but I've been busy with other stuff. This chapter is kind of short, but at least it's up. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, I really am happy just to know I'm making people laugh. Hopefully, I haven't lost my mojo after all this time. Enjoy this chapter.
Email: Orangeshinigami227 hotmail. com Password: notafuckingstrawberry
-Welcome to Facebook-
Ichigo Kurosaki posted on Rukia Kuchiki's wall:
Rukia, you vertically-challenged bitch, I know it was you who cut my PS3 in half! What the hell is wrong with you?!
Rukia Kuchiki- It's your own fault, Ichigo. You're the one who decided to divorce me.
Ichigo Kurosaki- What the hell, Rukia? What has our facebook marriage got anything to do with this?!
Rukia Kuchiki- Not our facebook marriage- our facebook divorce. Since I divorced you, I am entitled to half of everything you own. Which includes half of your playstation.
Ichigo Kurosaki- You're fucking insane! You get half of the other person's stuff in real life, not facebook marriages! And even then you don't cut everything in half, you stupid bitch.
Rukia Kuchiki- Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that? Human laws are so confusing!
Ichigo Kurosaki- Whatever. Tomorrow, we're going to the gaming store and you're going to buy me a new playstation.
Rukia Kuchiki- Ha! In your dreams!
Ichigo Kurosaki- Fine then. If you get half of my PS3, then I get half of chappy.
Rukia Kuchiki- You wouldn't…
Ichigo Kuroksaki- After all, Zangetsu's always wanted to meet Chappy.
Rukia Kuchiki- Ichigo! If you touch Chappy, I swear I will kick you so hard in the groin your father will be able to feel it!
Rangiku Matsumoto- Argh! I'm so bored! Like for a like:D
Orihime Inoue, Keigo Asano, Gin Ichimaru and 107 others like this
Rangiku Matsumoto- Oh Kami, I'm not doing all of those.
Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Orihime Inoue's timeline-
I like your boobs. Very impressive for a high-schooler, even though they're not as big as mine ;D And your cooking. Those corn-flake fritters are orgasmic.
Keigo Asano and Chizuru Honsho like this
Orihime Inoue- Thank you Rangiku-san! You're welcome to come visit and try out some of my newer recipes :)
Uryuu Ishida- You've got to be kidding me...
Rangiku Matsumoto- What's wrong, four-eyes? Don't you agree that Orihime's boobs are bangin'?
Chizuru Honsho- I agree! Hime's chest is the best!
Uryuu Ishida- No, I wasn't talking about that. Just ignore my comment.
Rangiku Matsumoto- So you like Orihime's boobs? My, my, Quincy, you're a lot more perverted than you let on.
Uryuu Ishida- Stop putting words in my mouth!
Rangiku Matsumoto- I bet you wish you could put something in Orihime's mouth...
Uryuu Ishida- -_- Would you like an arrow to the head, Shingami?
Rangiku Matsumoto- Calm down Quincy, just teasing ;D
Shunsui Kyoraku posted on Nanao Ise's wall:
Do you miss me yet Nanao-chan? Don't pretend you haven't been longing to come back to me, my lovely little flower.
Nanao Ise- Actually, I've been enjoying my time as Hitsugaya-taicho's lieutenant. He is very efficient with all his duties as a captain- including the paper work. We've already caught up on the work that Matsumoto-san stuffed behind the filing cabinet.
Shunsui Kyoraku- You're lying, I'm sure I'm the better captain. I bet Hitsugaya-taicho's never serenaded you or offered to come lingere shopping with you before.
Nanao Ise- He's also never sexually harrassed me before.
Rangiku Matsumoto- How did you manage to find that paperwork? I thought I hid it pretty well.
Toshiro Hitsugaya- The day you left, Ise and I cleaned out your entire office.
Rangiku Matsumoto- …The entire office?
Toshiro Hitsugaya- Yes. We had a lot of fun emptying those forty two sake bottles down the sink.
Rangiku Matsumoto- Chibi-taicho, whyyyy?! You knew I was gonna come back for those!
Toshiro Hitsugaya- For the hundrenth time, it's Hitsugaya-taicho.
Shunsui Kyoraku- Come back to me Nanao! It'll be me, you and Rangiku-chan, we can party it up in the eighth division!
Nanao Ise- As tempting as that offer is, I'm afraid I'll have to decline.
Shunsui Kyoraku- Okay then. I want you to know though, Nanao-chan, if you're ever feeling down, I'll always be there to feel you up ;)
Nanao Ise- You're as charming as always.
Renji Abarai posted on Yumichika Ayasegawa's wall-
What kind of sick shit are you teaching Yachiru? She just burst into sixth squad HQ and broke out into this ridiculous, vulgar song from the human world. Kuchiki-taicho isn't happy.
Yumuchika Ayasegawa- Don't accuse me, Ikkaku's the one who let her borrow his iPod.
Ikkaku Madarame- Thanks for ratting on me.
Renji Abarai- Why do you have that crap on your iPod. And how'd you'd get an iPod anyway?
Ikkaku Madarame- This crazy chick that I stayed with in the human world gave it to me. I had no idea how to use it and Yachiru wouldn't stop trying to bite me on the head, so I gave it to her to get her to fuck off.
Renji Abarai- You should've have just let her sink her teeth into your head. Now, she's over here screaming 'BIG BOOTY BITCHES' in my ear. Who knew human-music could be so freaking annoying?
Ikkaku Madarame- That's not my problem. Why don't you just take the thing off her?
Renji Abarai- I did. And there's some seriously dodgy stuff on here, in the photo album there's about a zillion pictures of girls in swim-suits and underwear. Holy crap, there's even a picture of Rukia on here!
Ichigo Kurosaki- What the hell?!
Renji Abarai- It's just her skirt flying up. I know it's her because of the chappy underwear.
Rukia Kuchiki- Delete it immediately! And stop looking at it!
Renji Abarai- What? I'm not looking at it, don't worry, it's already deleted.
Rukia Kuchiki- -_- Renji, I can see you.
Renji Abarai- Shit.
Ichigo Kurosaki- Wait a second. Keigo's iPod recently went missing.
Keigo Asano- Lies, that's not mine…it's my friends. Would you mind sending it back to me though..you know…so I can give it to him?
Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Gin Ichimaru's wall-
I like nothing about you. Go hump a cactus and don't like my status again.
Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Kaname Tosen like this
Gin Ichimaru- Ouch. Looks like someone put an extra helping of bitchness in their cereal this morning. I'm kidding, I love you Ran-chan.
Rangiku Matsumoto- Well, what did you expect you betraying bastard?
Gin Ichimaru- I thought you'd give me a compliment.
Rangiku Matsumoto- In your dreams.
Gin Ichimaru- You shouldn't put a like for a like status up if you're not going to do it properly.
Rangiku Matsumoto- Fine. I like your hair. It's all flicky and soft and stuff.
Gin Ichimaru- Atta girl.
Yachiru Kusajishi- I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop! Hehehe, human-world songs are the best, I want someone to take me to the candy shop! Thanks baldy-chan for letting me borrow your music-box-thingy for the day! :D
Kenpachi Zaraki- Ikkaku! You've got some explaining to do!
Ikkaku Madarame- Oh God. -_-
A/N: I hope you all liked it! Sorry about the absence of hacking, but I couldn't seem to fit it in smoothly. Review and tell me what you think, ideas would be really appreciated, thanks :D