Vita sat down at the computer. She'd told Hayate about her experiences before, and it turned out Hayate knew all about fanfiction. She enjoyed Vita's comments on the not-really-Lucky Star story, and asked her to read another one. This time, Hayate suggested they read it together.
For the first time Vita powered on the computer eager to read something silly, confusing, or downright offensive. She smiled when Hayate sat next to her.
"Let's find one about Metroid this time, those games were pretty fun," Vita suggested.
"That sounds good," Hayate said, nodding.
Vita searched, and scrolled through the list of results.
"I bet this one has nothing to do with the games," she said, clicking on a promising title.
Chapter 1: The Big Dance
What did I tell you?" Vita grinned. "This should be fun." With Hayate by her side, Vita would probably consider almost anything "fun."
HELLO PEOPLE! THIS IS KINDA A WIERD STORY BUT I THINK ITS COOL SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! THIS IS MY FIRST STORY, SO NO FLAMIES? THANKS K LOL!
"I'd never flame a wierd story, only a weird one. But you only asked for no flamies, which I think is from Pokemon or something, that doesn't save your fic from being burned." Vita giggled and brandished Graf Eisen. "And it's definitely not safe from being smashed."
"Vita-chan, no destroying the computer again," Hayate admonished.
"I know, I know…"
Chapter One: The Big Dance
"Yeah, because we didn't see it the first time."
It was three days before the baig dance.
"Everyone looks forward to the baig dance!"
"The giant purple space dragon," Vita added for the author.
walked up to Samus.
"The girl who's a bounty hunter because Ridley murdered her parents," Hayate added, giggling.
He was really nervous.
"Since Samus has killed him multiple times, I'm not surprised," Vita remarked.
He had never gone on a date before and Smaus was really, really, pretty.
"How pretty was she? Really pretty? Oh, okay. She really sounds like it from that detailed description," snarked Vita.
So he finally got enough courage and went up to her locker.
Samus looked up. "What do u want?"
"In a world... where people talk in chatspeak..."
Hayate giggled at Vita's comment.
"Uhhhh… Do you… uhh. Dd.. d… do you want to… go.. to the dance with me?"
Samus said "Okay"
"FEEL THE PASSION!"
Vita grinned at Hayate. "The giant purple space dragon," the girls said in unison.
was really really happy! He was going to go on his first big date!
"His first big date with a member of a different species." Vita nodded.
"Wow, " thought Ridley.
"The giant purple space dragon who apparently thinks aloud, since there's no indication this is internal or not."
"I hope Samus is my girlfriend. I'm the luckiest guy in the damn school!"
"I don't know about that, I think she might just try to fire some missiles into your mouth," Vita opined.
Three days llater it was the big dance. Everyone was there!
"But what happened to the baig dance?"
"That's what I was gonna say, Vita!"
"Hey Ridley!" a voice sneered.
"Damn it" exclaimed Ridley. "Oh, no, it's Kraid
"The giant spikey pile of crocodile fat," Vita interjected, eliciting a giggle from Hayate.
and his gang!"
Over walked Kraid and his cronies. "What do you want, blubber brain?"
"Who the hell talks like that?" Vita asked.
Hayate shrugged. "I don't know."
"Well if you're not sure, how can I be sure?"
"The author's not sure of his own work?" Hayate asked confusedly.
"Well, well, well. Looks like little Ridley's got himself a girlfriend! Ooooohhhh!"
"Said the giant spikey pile of crocodile fat," Vita added.
"Watch it, blubber brain or ill blow you and your little crew way up in the air!" Samus responded
"What kind of a threat is that? Is Samus just going to blow really hard and hope it makes them float?"
"Does Samus have a cold? She said ill."
"I think I might be ill by the time we finish this, Hayate."
Kraid's eyes narrowed. "Looks like you win this time. But don't you worry; we'll be back. Come on boys!" Kraid declared.
"Kraid proceeded to get stuck in the doorway, his huge bulk killing dozens of students."
"That's horrible, Vita!"
Everyone in Kraids gang laughed and walked away. Samus and Ridley were all alone.
"Don't mind those damn people Samus. They're stupid people."
"Ya, I know" answered Samus.
"Samus is the terminator!"
Then the music started playing really slow. People everywhere stared slow dancing.
"I'd stare at the purple dragon and the bounty hunter too, but I probably wouldn't slowdance while doing it."
"It's just a typo, Vita," Hayate said, a grin slowly spreading across her face. "But it was a pretty funny one."
"Hey, um, Samus… Do you want to dance?" Ridly proposed?
"Did he propose or not?"
"P-P-Propose?" Hayate's eyes went wide.
"Don't worry, I don't think he really did, Hayate."
Samus looked down. "I never learned how to dance before." She declared.
"I don't know how to dance either, you don't see me making redundant statements about it."
Hayate gave Vita an odd look. Vita blushed.
"Er, let's keep reading!"
Ridley smiled "Don't worry its easy!"
"Apparently the giant purple space dragon knows how to dance."
"I don't think I want to see that."
"Samus smiled nervously "Okay" and they stared to dance. "Wow" samus alleged. "Its reely easy" And they danced untile it was time to go home.
"Meanwhile, the author had a seizure on the keyboard."
"I don't understand how the author could make so many spelling errors on a modern computer."
"I'm not sure he had one, Hayate-chan."
At the end of the night Samus and Ridley were walking home.
"Uhhh, Samus? I love you" Ridley declared.
"Said the giant purple space dragon!" Hayate and Vita said in unison.
"To the girl whose parents he murdered," Vita finished.
"Really?" inquired Samus?
"Even the author is questioning herself at this point."
"I don't blame him."
"I love you too" Samus Descirbed.
"Said the girl back to the giant purple space dragon."
And then in the soft moonlight the two lovers kissed.
Vita and Hayate paused, staring at that line for a long moment before finally both letting out cries of despair. There was yet hope, however.
But then it was cut short because esamus had to go home now.
"Esamus! Esamus! Who the hell is this new character, and where did they come from? Are they here to put a stop to this horrifying romance?"
"See you tomorrow samus" ridley exclaimed.
"Damn" thought ridley. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
"SAID THE GIANT PURPLE SPACE DRAGON!" The girls said in unison once more. -"The implications of this fic are really scary... I think I need a hug, Hayate-chan."