I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, Tennant would have stayed a lot longer.
Hope you enjoy.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth,
Mama, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all...
Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody
Goodbye to All Them
Martha and Mickey
You stand and watch them, and you know the moment's coming because you know these Sontarins and how they work, how they attack. The mallet's in your hand and your hurl your arm forward and it hit him-BAM! - in the neck. He doesn't crumple, he just drops. Martha and Mickey turn and look at you, and you can read their faces if not their lips. You wonder how and when they got together, and if you agree with it or not. You can't decide. They watch, and they know, and you turn away.
Laszlo and Tallulah
It's the Christening of their first child, Robert. His mother, Tallulah with three Ls and an H, holds him at the altar and his father, Laszlo, stands behind. You expected him to cover up his half-pig face, but he hasn't and, for some reason that makes you proud. The baby hasn't inherited the pig snout, you notice. Probably for the best. Laszlo glances around and looks straight at you. You nod in greeting, and he does the same, though he looks confused. You don't want to speak to him, you want to avoid questions. You just wanted to see them again. You thrust your hands in your pockets and walk out of the church, into the warm bright sunlight outside.
Luke and Sarah Jane Smith
They never look when they cross the road, is it just you who's realised that? You hope his mother has realised, she needs to have a word with him. He's jabbering away to Clyde on his mobile, and he walks straight into the road without a glance either side. The car is approaching, so you lunge at him and push him out of the way. He looks at you, confused, and you give him a warning look. He'd better remember the next time.
"But you- it's the-"stammers Luke and he runs, shouting, to his mother. She comes out of the house looking bewildered, and you stand by the TARDIS door. She recognises the look on your face, she knows. She smiles and waves, and you wave back, but you just can't bring yourself to smile.
You only met him twice- once when he was a kid, and the other time, years later, when the Absorbaloff was causing trouble. Nice bloke, but had a tough time. You find him in Rome, looking up at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, carrying a bag, a big bag, heavy-looking. He keeps looking into it and whispering, and you realise that Ursula is in there. Ursula, his friend who was the last victim of the Absorbaloff. You wonder if this is strange, and in the end, you think- no, it's not that strange at all, really.
The lad scuttles to the window of the cake shop, presses his nose up against the glass. His father, Jackson Lake, ruffles his son's hair and says "Not today, come on,"
You smile at the pair and follow them down Portland Place, the perception filter around your neck. The little boy chatters away cheerfully to his father, who looks amused as he replies. Jackson Lake and his boy, reunited and happy, living a normal life together. A normal life- oh, what you'd give for one. To have a family and to grow old... You relish the idea. That's why you have to keep on saving humans like Jackson Lake...because you envy them.
Captain Jack Harkness
His name is Alonso.
"Could you give that to the gentleman at the bar, please?"
"The one in the big coat?"
You watch as the waiter gives Jack the note, and Alonso arrives at his side. Jack looks questioningly at you, and you nod to Alonso. Go on then you tell him with your eyes. Jack smirks, and you give him a half salute. He raises his arm in the air, back straight. The Captain. Jack turns to Alonso and you begin to walk away, wondering if they'll stay together. Probably not, knowing Jack, but it'll be fun while it lasts.
Tim-Timothy-Tim! He was young and quiet and oh-so clever, and not just because of that extrasensory perception. You'd have liked to have known him better. You're a pacifist, but you feel proud that he chose to fight in the war to end all wars. Equally, you're proud that you could save him.
You've been to see him once since the escapade with the Family of Blood, in his old age. Maybe you should visit him before then. You select a date at random...24th September 1936. You trust the TARDIS to locate him.
It's a wet afternoon, and you're in a park. The sky is grey and the trees and dripping with rainwater. You hear a giggle and before you can move a child runs past you, through a puddle, soaking you with water. She doesn't notice and runs on, and a boy follows her through the puddle, splashing you again. You reckon the girl is about six and the boy- her brother presumably-three or four.
"Lily! Lily, wait!" he cries giddily as they tear off into the bushes. A tall, thin man and a woman follow. You realise with a jolt that the man is Tim Latimer, and this must be his wife and his children. He still has the same pale, pointed face and blond hair, although it is showing signs of grey.
He says something to his wife, and she says something back, smiling. You so busy watching them you forget to hide, and then Timothy sees you. His eyes widen. He whispers something to his wife and walks over to you. It's too late for you to hide now.
"Doctor?" asks Tim uncertainly.
"Tim-Timothy-Tim!" you reply, but you can't sound happy when you say it, you just can't.
"My God, you're exactly the same...so it is true! About the time machine, Martha wasn't lying,"
"No, no she wasn't. Time and space, space and time, that's me. She's married now, Martha. Mickey his name is, lovely bloke- and you are as well, I see?"
He smiles. "Yes, and children. They're called Lily Martha Latimer and Freddie John Latimer,"
"Martha...John?" you echo, bewildered. Tim just smiles.
You put your hands in your coat pockets and look at the ground, and when you look back up his smile's faded.
"Doctor...it's coming again isn't it? A war, even bigger than the last one. With Germany and the Rhineland..." his voice is barely more than a whisper. He makes a noise like he's going to retch, swallows and whispers- "Doctor, I think it's going to be the end of the world!"
You exhale deeply, and force yourself to look him straight in the eyes.
"Tim...a war is coming ,yes. The war which will kill...millions of people. But you must be brave, like you were in the last war, like you were at school all those years ago. Understand?"
He nods silently. You cock your head in farewell and turn to go.
He looks at you a long moment, and several words seem to play about with mouth.
It's not a question. Extrasensory perception again. You look back at him, and finally you nod in confirmation.
Neither of you know what to say. Then, he fumbles in his breast pocket and pulls out the pocket watch. He pushes it into your hand. You push the button to open it. Tick. Tick. Tick. It was so important then. Tick. Tick. You snap the watch shut and hand it back.
"You keep it. It's yours,"
You turn away again abruptly, knowing that you'll never see him again...but he'll see you.
"And, whose it for?". She doesn't look up.
"To...the Doctor...funny, that was the name he used,". The name of the man from the stars, who hid as John Smith, who fell in love with her great grandmother. Oh, you feel guilty, so, so guilty, because you know what Joan told you is true- he was stronger. You hid, because you always hide. Running and hiding, it's what you do best. John Smith chose to die. You wish Joan would have come with you, just for one trip. As a thank you for giving up the man she loved.
Verity looks confused for a second, and you watch as she forces her eyes up to meet yours. So many questions, but you're running out of time. Alright, one question, just one.
"Was she happy...in the end?"
Verity pauses for a moment, then- "Yes, yes she was," Another pause, and you think- thank goodness, she had a bit of a happy ending. She deserved happiness.
"Were you?" asks Verity. Her voice is gentle and sincere.
Oh, I'm always happy, you want to say, but you find your voice isn't working. Maybe it knows that you would be lying.
So you smile, a big smile for Joan and for Verity. You just hope she doesn't notice that the smile doesn't reach your eyes.
You never met her properly. She's one of the ones who sort of got involved accidentally, without you involving them. Sort of. You sneak into the DVD shop- Sparrow and Nightingale- and loiter in the sci-fi section. How appropriate. Customers enter, browse, pay, leave. You watch Sally serving them, and you know you must thank her for what she did.
You wait until there's no one in the queue and cross over to it.
"Doctor!" Sally looks up at you, flabbergasted.
"Sally. Hello. The weeping angels have happened to me now, so, um, we're on level terms, I suppose,"
She hesitates and you rush on, "Well, I just wanted to say- thank you,"
"That was all," you say hurriedly, and head for the door. But then something makes you turn back.
"And about Billy and Kathy...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But good luck with Larry, yeah?"
Sally Sparrow nods solemnly, and the bell rings as you head out of the shop door.
Not a goodbye as such- in fact, more of a hello. You go the future, the week after Donna's wedding, and find out the lottery numbers. Then you go backwards, to...1981. Its early evening and he's coming home from work- you recognise him from Donna's first wedding, except obviously he's much younger now. You head down the street towards him.
"Excuse me? Look, sorry to bother you, but you haven't got a quid I could borrow, have you?"
He looks startled, then- "Yeah, yeah. Course I have,"
He pulls a pound out of his pocket. "There. Have that on me,"
"Really? Well, thanks. Thank you,"
The moment hangs in the air and you wonder if you should say something, some message to Donna or Wilf. But then Geoffrey smiles and walks on, and the moment vanishes.
Donna Noble, Sylvia Noble, Wilfred Mott
You choose to come to their wedding because you want to remember them all being happy. You watch from a distance as Donna shouts and orders everybody around, and you can't help but smirk to yourself. Then, Sylvia sees you and the smirk disappears quickly. She and Wilf make their way over.
"Here you are, same old face, didn't I tell you you'd be alight?" Wilf babbles, "Oh! They arrested Mr Naismith, it was on the news- crimes undisclosed. And his daughter, both of 'em, locked up," You listen to him chunter on, and he asks you who the woman was, a question you really, really don't want to answer. Anyway, you haven't come here to answer questions.
"I just wanted to give you this," You look from Sylvia, who's never liked you , to Donna, who'll never know she was the most important woman in the universe ,to Wilf, who helped you save the world but, has, ultimately, killed you . They'll be alright.
"Wedding present," you clarify, handing the small white envelope to Wilf. "Thing is I never carry money, so I just popped back in time...borrowed a quid of a really lovely man...Geoffrey Noble, his name was,". Sylvia gasps.
"Have that, he said," you continue, "Have that on me,"
Again, you try to smile but you're not sure if it looks real.
"Goodbye, Doctor," says Wilf.
Sylvia makes an odd gesture with her head, which you take as a farewell. They walk over to Donna, and after a few moments they turn back round. Sylvia looks as though her Christmas has come early.
Wilf raises his arm up in a salute. You stare back at him, not knowing what to feel. You liked him, and it wasn't his fault that you're dying. You chose to go into that box after all, you chose to save him. But you still feel resentment against him. Wilfred Mott has killed you, and that's a fact.
Madam de Pompadour
You have to see her, just once more, even though you know you've crossed into her timeline before. You'd like to go and watch the evening you danced together, but that'll confuse everything, especially if she notices there are two of you. So you go to the only time you think you can get away with- the end.
She's lying on her bed, pale and small and alone. You slip the perception filter around your neck as you cross the room towards her. She's sleeping, mumbling incomprehensibly to herself. You watch her, and your breath catches in your throat. It was stupid wasn't it? How could Madam de Pompadour, mistress to the King of France, have any sort of relationship with the last of the Time Lords? How could she have travelled with him, with you? It was a nice thought though, just for a day. Well, a day for you, a lifetime for her.
She stirs and opens her eyes, not seeing you because of the perception filter. And, in one mad, unplanned, insane moment, you take it off your neck. She looks straight into your eyes.
"Doctor?" her voice is barely audible.
"Reinette. Oh, Reinette," you murmur.
"My lonely Doctor. My lonely little boy," Your mind flashes back to the night she first called you that-
"Dance with me,"
"I can't...this is the night you dance with the King,"
"Oh, my Doctor, my lonely Doctor...there comes a time when every lonely little boy must learn to dance,"
You fall back into the present.
"I'm not lonely, Reinette," you tell her, realising that it's not quite a lie. You've had so many friends to say goodbye to. You may not always be happy, but you're not always lonely either.
She smiles at you and then her eyes flutter and close. You know that's enough. You can leave.
The hardest goodbye of all. That's why you left it until last. You try and the controls for the 1st of January 2005- the first day of the year you met- but you body is weakening, the regeneration is coming, you you're not sure you've done it right.
The TARDIS materialises in the middle of a wide street, and when you open the door you find it is snowing. Light, thin snow which lands softly on your hair and shoulders. A man stumbles across the street and glances at you and the TARDIS. He mumbles something incoherent and staggers past. You realise you should get out of the way, and you force you body to take you over to the flats, so you're half-concealed in its shadow. You tip your head back against the wall and bask in the beautiful silence of the moment, snow falling onto your face.
The silence is broken suddenly by a pair of voices. They're female, and although you can't make out words you can tell they're arguing. The voices become louder until- with a jolt- you see Rose and Jackie Tyler walking past the flats. You watch Rose hungrily, you can't not look at her. She turns to her mother and strokes her hair tenderly. Then Jackie says something, Rose replies "Don't stay out all night," and Jackie counters- "Try and stop me!"
The older woman heads off into the darkness, and you tear your eyes off Rose to watch her go- you reckon Jackie deserves that. You won't forget Jackie Tyler in a hurry- the woman who slapped you, kissed you, accused you of going looking for trouble (You? Trouble? Never!), and ended up in a parallel universe.. You had your differences, but in the end, you really quite liked Jacqueline Tyler.
You turn back to Rose, and you know you have to get her attention. You're racking your brain for something to say, when a burst of pain detonates in your chest. The regeneration is starting.
"Ugh!" you cry, trying to keep from falling over.
Rose Tyler turns around and looks at you, and suddenly all your breath has disappeared.
"You alright mate?" It's a plain, normal question, but it renders you speechless. The pain from on the oncoming regeneration doesn't help, either.
"Yeah," You manage to croak.
Rose smirks- you'd forgotten about that half-amused half-mocking look she had. "Too much to drink?"
"Summin' like that," Nothing like that. There's a world with far more crippling things than having a few too many down the pub. A world that this Rose Tyler has no idea of, yet.
"Maybe it's time you went home," she recommends.
Yeah, maybe it is. You can feel the regeneration energy building up; you can't last much longer out here.
"Yeah," you agree.
"Anyway," a toothy smiles spreads across her face, you feel your stomach flip over, "happy new year,"
Yeah, a new year, a new Doctor. "And you," you reply, and Rose turns her back on you. You watch her and you know that you can't let her go, you have to keep her with you just a bit longer.
"What year is this?" you call. You want to know if you've got it right.
She looks at you, wondering if you're joking. "Blimey, how much have you had?"
You cock your head abstractly and mutter, "Well..."
"Two thousand and five, January the first," Rose says patiently, as if explaining algebra to a toddler.
Her words enter your head slowly.
"Two thousand and five?" you repeat, nodding. You were right with the controls after all. This is the year that she meets you, the previous version of you. The year you change her life and she changes yours. The year she heals you from the scars cut by the Time War. The year you regenerate and find yourself falling in love with her.
"Tell you what..." you begin, and you feel tears burning in your eyes, "I bet you're gonna have a really great year,"
You feel emotion spilling out of you, a weight lift from your chest.
"Yeah?" and her smile splits into an enormous grin. You love her smile, so big and bright and happy, and for the first time in these goodbyes, you're smiling back, a real smile.
Rose makes to go, then adds- "See ya!"
Yeah, see you, Rose, you think to yourself. See you very soon.
She runs off into the flats, up the stairs and though the door of flat 23.
And then the pain comes, hard and sharp and brutal, and there's an Ood there and you're struggling over to the TARDIS, and you're brain's gone haywire and you con't know what's going on anymore...goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Thanks a million for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If you did- or if you didn't- reviews are very much appreciated.