Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, this would just be a good 'ol fic, minus the fan. And be insanely rich. And have access to R-Pattz...*sigh*
This story contains adult themes and violence. I don't want to upset anybody, so PM me if you have any concerns, and I'll clear them up!
Finally, this is un-betaed, so if my love of the comma annoys you, please don't throw me to the wolves (unless Jacob is one of them, in which case I'd probably jump).
Another hysterical sob rattled through my aching chest as Charlie's words swirled around me. My eyes stung as fresh tears squeezed their way through, and I clutched the steering wheel even tighter in my hands, my knuckles turning white with the strain.
"You're useless. Useless, do you hear me? Just like your mother. Well, I won't make the same mistake twice. I let her get away from me. But I won't let you. You're mine. Forever..."
I choked on the moan which threatened to escape when I thought of his words. He was right. Mom had managed to escape him, but she had abandoned me in the process. I was alone, with him, forever.
The thought of spending the rest of my life in Forks stuck with Charlie, in his dank house with his awful temper was too much, and my eyes blurred so much that the road in front of me became nothing more than a jumble of shapes and colours. That, coupled with the torrential rain which was falling from the inky black sky, was enough to render me almost completely blind. 'Damn you Forks, and your stupid fucking weather' I mumbled, wincing at the sound of my croaky voice. My throat was raw, I noticed. It hurt.
I drove on, puffy eyes squinting against the downpour. My windscreen wipers never seemed to move fast enough, although this had never really bothered me. Just one more thing that endeared the ancient red beast I drove to me. Tonight, this fact just served to remind me how crap everything in my life was. Everything. Images swirled inside my head as I fought for something positive to clutch onto. Anything. The squeal of a car horn woke me from my reverie, and lights reflected in my rear view mirror. I was doing twenty miles an hour, afraid to go any faster in my current hysterical state, and the person behind me obviously had somewhere to be.
Sighing, I decided to pull in and let them pass. I manoeuvred my huge, old red truck into the space which was left outside the old Cullen mansion. The driver of the car behind me sped past me, flashing his lights in gratitude. I smile infinitesimally to myself, turning towards the building beside me. The Cullen Place. It was the grandest house in the whole of Forks, over a hundred years old and beautiful. It was, however, completely deserted. Nobody had lived in it in decades, and the once beautiful exterior had started to crumble around the edges, making it look worn and sad. To me, however, it just made it even more beautiful. It just needed some love to make it come alive, to let it thrive. Just like me.
I smiled to myself as I thought of my youth, before Charlie had gotten so bad that my Mom had to flee. Alice and I had always sworn that we were going to buy that mansion and live in it together. Best friends forever, and all that. I would write novel after novel in the huge library, inspired by epic love stories and the smell of old books, and Alice would design clothes from her attic studio. Naturally, we would both be rich beyond our wildest dreams, and each have a handsome, selfless and supportive husband to share everything with. As we had gotten older, and the real world had started to impose on our childish fantasies, we were informed that the house still belonged to somebody else. The ancestors of the Cullen's, who lived on the far side of the country, held the deeds, and would never sell. They preferred to let an old house crumble and die instead, I thought bitterly.
A sharp gust of wind around my truck brought me back to the present with a start. 'What am I going to do?' I mumbled to myself. I sure as hell couldn't go home tonight. When I had left Charlie he had been in a murderous rage, and the bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him was crying out to soothe him. I might be able to sneak in if he had passed out, but if he hadn't...I shuddered at the thought, and rubbed my wrist reflexively, noting the sore spots and bruises which were already starting to appear.
"That's it; I don't have to listen to this anymore". I startled myself with my sudden bravery, but decided to roll with it anyway. I grabbed my backpack from the chair beside me, and made to turn and leave. Charlie caught me by my wrist, yanking hard, and I turned back to face him. And in that moment, I was terrified. His eyes were wide with rage, his teeth clenched, and a tiny drop of spittle was stuck in the corner of his mouth. In this instant, there was no trace of the man I had once called Daddy; that I had once looked up to and loved. Now he was just a monster. A demon, sent from my own personal hell."Charlie, please, you're hurting me", I whispered, and he dropped his hand, a fleeting expression of shock crossing his face before it was replaced again with rage. And I left...
I couldn't even stay at Alice's tonight. She was down South, visiting her Aunt before school got back together next Monday. Alice was my best, and only, friend in the whole world. She was tiny and beautiful, stylish and confident. She was my exact opposite in every way, loving attention and friends with everybody. However, she was more than that. She was the only one who had stuck by me when my Mom left, and who even attempted to protect me when Charlie was in one of his moods. Something about Alice calmed Charlie sometimes. Deep down, I knew what. Alice was like my mother, in personality if not in looks. The few memories I have of the woman who gave birth to me are happy ones, full of her infectious laughter and exuberance. Maybe that was why I found Alice so easy to talk to, to confide in and to rely on. She reminded me of good times and happiness, she felt like family. Maybe that's why I wished, every single day that Alice was my sister. If God had been more loving toward me, I would have been Alice's sister, and we really would have been living together in a house like the Cullen mansion.
The Cullen Mansion? A sudden idea struck me. Could I possibly stay there for the night? It was never locked, that much was common knowledge, but it never had need to be. Nobody ever went inside. The mansion was haunted. I had heard many stories over the years, mostly involving teenage dares and tricks played on others, in which people were terrified by strange noises or things being thrown at them as they entered. Mike Newton swore that he saw some sort of a ghost there years ago. I snorted as I remembered him recalling the story to me. 'I swear Bella, he was tall, and moved so fast. He looked so dangerous that I turned and ran, but by the time I got to the door, he had disappeared...' Mike Newton was an ass. However, I had to admit, it wasn't like him to admit to being scared, he was usually the hard-man in situations like this. But after his encounter with the 'ghost' he was truly terrified. Perhaps I should be too? But, as I turned to look at the huge house, with darkness filling it's every window, I couldn't find it in me to be scared. Instead, I felt an unmistakable tug towards the mansion. To me, it looked like home.
That was it, the decision was made. I turned the key in the ignition, jumping as the truck roared into life again. I wiped the old tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my blue sweater, and began to turn into the driveway of the old house. I decided to leave my truck behind the trees to the side of the building. I really couldn't risk Charlie, or anybody else seeing it parked outside. After all, I was in essence breaking and entering. I giggled as I jumped from the truck, my hair whipping madly around my face, as I thought of myself being arrested. Being brought in to face the local Chief of Police. My father. I snorted. If only people knew.
I turned to make sure that the truck was completely hidden from the road. I couldn't bear if anything happened to it. It had never given me a moment's worry in my year of driving it. Come rain, hail or shine, I knew it would always get me to where I needed to be. More than this, however, though I hated to admit it, even to myself, it was my last tie with my mother. It had been her truck. She had hated to drive around in the cruiser, embarrassed by all of the looks that it attracted. Instead, she had bought this from somebody down on the reservation. If I closed my eyes, I could still picture her sitting behind the wheel, her face beaming, her hair shining in the sun, revealing shades of red that were invisible otherwise. My hair did the same thing in the sun. Her hands had once gripped the same steering wheel, her foot had once pressed the same pedals, her eyes had once checked the same mirrors. I like the way this knowledge made me feel. Connected to her, no matter how minutely.
After being satisfied that the truck was hidden enough from sight to protect me, I hastily made my way around to the front of the house. The rain had stopped now, and the wind was blowing the puffy little clouds around the sky, allowing the light from the moon to burst through every now and again. I climbed the porch steps, and the door stood in front of me, paint peeling and yellow with age. I took a deep breath, and raised my hand, reaching for the ornate door handle. But, before I could make contact with the cool metal, there was a loud creak, and the door swung open. I was suddenly faced with the large, dark hallway inside. I braced myself, willing my feet to move me forwards, and silently rejoicing when they did. Enveloped in the eerie silence inside, I closed the door behind me.
Eek! What happens next? Reviewers get a teaser...;)
See y'all next week!x