The accidental kiss started my addiction.
"Gokudera. Gokudera. Gokudera."
I sighed in annoyance and then whirled to face the baseball idiot.
"Shut the hell up!" I shouted.
"But Dera~~ You promised you would help me with my homework today!" Yamamoto complained.
"I promised you nothing! And don't call me Dera!"
"Yes you did. I clearly remember you saying you'd help me."
"Only in your twisted mind!" I snapped. "All I said was that you needed help! Not that I'd help you!"
"Then will you please help me?" He begged, putting on his best puppy-dog face.
And then he tripped. Before I could move, he fell on me and we both toppled to the ground.
The fall must have made me instinctively shut my eyes for, when I felt something on my mouth, my eyes were closed. To my horror I opened my eyes and saw Yamamoto, his lips on mine. He jumped back in shock and his face turned a dark, beet red. I felt my face take on the same hue.
"I-I'm really sorry, Dera!" He stammered as he ran off.
"T-that was my first kiss, bastard!" I shouted after him. I ran out of the school and hurried home. I completely forgot about the Tenth.
Something was wrong with me. Something was damn wrong with me. I kept having these dreams. About Yamamoto. I shuddered as I remembered how detailed the last one had been.
We had been kissing, sitting on his bed (or at least what my mind thought his bed looked like. I've never actually been in his room before). Both of our shirts had been off and I'd licked his mouth, begging entrance. He let me in almost immediately. As our tongues twirled together, we'd reached for each other's pants…
Gasping, I'd woken up in a cold sweat. I hugged myself, scared of my mind and what'd it imagine me and Yamamoto doing next.
Getting up, I splashed cold water on my face and tried to face the truth. Maybe if I could, I could make the dreams go away. Taking a deep breath I said it out loud, to prove to myself that I was facing it.
"I'm in love with Yamamoto."
It got worse. Dammit, it didn't make it better, it made it worse! Now I couldn't even be in the same room as him without either blushing at his close proximity or having day dreams.
Once, I'd wondered what would happen if I just kissed him. In front of everybody. I imagined his mouth on mine again and before I knew it, I was standing in front of his desk.
"G-Gokudera?" Yamamoto stuttered.
"Gokudera-kun? Weren't you listening to me?" Tsuna put a hand on my shoulder which awoke me from my day dream.
Realizing what I'd almost done and that I'd completely ignored the Tenth for like the first time ever, I stood stalk still in horror.
Hiding my face behind my bangs, I mumbled an apology to both of them and fled from the classroom.
I needed help. Now.
This was worse. This was way worse than ever admitting it to Yamamoto. At least he'd probably be able to laugh it off. For all I knew, this could scar the Tenth for life. And that was the last thing I wanted to do.
I stood in front of his house, listing the pros and cons of telling him. Before I could make up my mind, however, the Tenth's mom opened the door.
"Gokudera-kun, you've been standing out there for some time now. Go ahead and come in!"
"T-thank you," I stammered. This was a bad idea. This was a really bad idea. But I couldn't just leave now.
I took my time going to the Tenth's room, trying to calm myself down and sort through my thoughts so what I wanted to say would come out right. I took a deep breath outside his door and entered.
"Good afternoon, Tenth!" I said, putting on the best fake smile I could manage at the moment. "Sorry for intruding!"
"Its okay, Gokudera-kun! Go ahead and sit down!" The Tenth moved over so I'd have a place to sit. I hesitated for a moment and then plopped down on the cushion provided.
Tsuna waited for me to speak. I was glad for the silence. I needed time to straighten out my thoughts. Finally, I decided to get it over with.
"T-Tenth, I need your help," I started, unsure where to go from there.
"With what?" Tsuna asked patiently.
"Thanks for making this easy, Tenth!" I thought to him, touched.
"I-I've been having these dreams and-"
"Gokudera-kun, I'm not a psychiatrist," Tsuna interrupted, looking at me in concern.
"Oh I know that, Tenth! Ah, dammit, I could never go to a psychiatrist for something like this!" I pulled at my hair. Dammit, dammit, dammit I couldn't do this!
"Then go ahead, Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna gently pulled my arms from my head and laid them on my lap. He patted my hand comfortingly. I nodded at the Tenth in thanks and started over.
"I've been having these dreams about Yamamoto. Dreams I… shouldn't be having. They bug me day and night so much that I can't even be in the same room as him. I just want it all to go away."
Tsuna nodded, seeming to understand what I was saying.
"What are the dreams about?"
Oh god. Oh god, no! No way could I tell him that!
Memories rushed into my head and I felt blood drip down my nose. I snorted, pinched my nose, and held my head back. No way was I letting my nose bleed all over the Tenth's carpet!
"I-I'd rather not say…" I said my voice all nasally. Tsuna looked at me as if he knew exactly what my dreams were about.
"Gokudera-kun? Are you in love with Yamamoto?"
Well, that was too much for me. I felt my eyes roll back in my head and I fell to the floor.
For the first time ever, I'd fainted.
I hadn't expected to wake up to Bianchi.
I had fainted in the Tenth's presence, right? So why wasn't he taking care of me? Why did I wake up and almost pass out again due to stomach pain?
"What are you doing here, Sis?" I whispered, barely having the strength to talk.
"Oh, I forgot about that. Don't worry. The next time you wake up, my goggles will be on." Sis put her face right up to mine. My stomach contorted and I passed out again.
Just like she'd promised, when I woke up again, Sis had her goggles on.
"What do you want?" I snapped, not in the mood to talk with my sister right now.
"Tsuna told me you were having love problems. He came to me for help," she replied. I stared at her in horror. Why, Tenth? Why did you betray me?
"So you're having erotic dreams, eh? It's hard to believe you're at that stage already. And for a boy, too. Quite a jump, Hayato." Sis changed her position to make herself comfortable.
"You… what… how?" This was going too fast for my brain. How could she just sit there calmly and say something like that?
"Try stealing one of his possessions. That way you can focus your attention on that object until you have the courage to admit your love."
I just gaped at her as she left me to my thoughts.