Author's Note: You know how I said I wasn't posting a new crackfic? Well, fandom, I'm sooooo changeable! Anyways, enjoy. (as always, you can find me at penworthy . tumblr . com) -Macey
"Baby I will wait for you, cause I don't know what else I can do…"
The streets of Tumblr are broken tonight as a man makes his way through the crowd. His dark burgundy shirt stretches over his girth and his blonde hair flaps in the wind. Past Potterheads and Omenists and Whovians he presses on, his mind filled with one purpose.
The hospital lies on the far end of Tumblr Street. It's oddly quiet for this time of night, thinks the man, as he pushes through the doors and checks in.
"I'm here to see her," he says. The nurse, a younger man wearing a Centurion helmet, only nods his head, as if he knows what he means. "This way then."
And now the Moffat Fear Therapy they walk past, and the ward for the fangirls who need to move on from David Tennant. Then there is the section for Supernaturals fans, who sit in the padding chairs, their ands gripped to a dusty trenchcoat, mumbling about some "angel" or "God" or whatever a Misha Collins is. Anyways, they turn the corner and soon are thrown into the rush and bustle of the drug ward.
The words "Sherlock Fandom" are scribbled onto a piece of paper and taped to the hospital bed. The man bites his lip (she always liked it when he did that) and waves goodbye to the nurse, who appeared to have died on the way there. Twice.
The man approaches the bed and sits beside it, till the patient looks up at him with tearful eyes. "You came back for me," she whispered. "I waited for a year and you came back."
"You overdosed on Crack. You shouldn't have done that, I warned you-"
"Well what was I supposed to do?" Fandom threw up her arms and shot him a death glare. "Crack kept me safe. It made me laugh. I wrote fics while on it, horrible fics… about flowers and boxes and kittens and you should have been there to read them."
"You told me you would be back in Fall. You said you would come back for me. You flew off in that little cab of yours, and I never saw you again." Fandom tugged at the IV in her arm, tears begin to streak down her cheekbones.
Sherlock the Show stared back Sherlock the Fandom, and then he said, "I'm sorry. I love you-"
"Where were you when I needed to here that? I spent hours looking back through our screencaps, our memories…" Fandom flopped down in the bed with a sigh of frustration.
"But crack? Really? You gave yourself to drugs?"
"I needed something to hold onto… because I couldn't hold onto you."
The Show sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes. "I can't stress how sorry I am."
"I tried to cope with it by spending time with Doctor Who." said Fandom. "He helped me get off the crack, just a bit. And that friend of yours… what was her name, Alone On The Water? I think it was that. She brought me down to earth, even if for a few minutes. But it wasn't enough. I wanted you. And you weren't there for me."
"Did you know I had to date CBS's clone of you? I don't care what the scientists over at Doctor Who's Wibbly Lab say, it's not the same."
"I'm sorry." said The Show. That was all he could say as Fandom's stress-pulled eyes glared into his. "I never meant for this to happen. I just got caught up in-"
"In what? Are you seeing that Supernatural chick again?"
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT HER." said Show. Silence fell across the hospital as soon as he spoke. The only noise was of the Roman nurse as he slipped in his own blood and impaled himself on the nearby chair.
"Then what is it about?" Fandom crossed her arms. "Because I'd like to know."
"About the crack, Fan. About the crack."
"I'm not going to stop." Fandom said. "I don't what they say, the nurses and the doctors and Rory, I'm not going to."
"Is there anything I can do?" The Show said.
"You could have been there. You could have stayed." Fandom whispered. Once again, the sound of the nurse dying filled the room. "You could have not left me waiting by the phone every day, scanning your Facebook for updates on when you'd be back."
"You know I couldn't do that." said Show regrettably. "BBC, my boss, wouldn't let me."
Show grabbed her hand, which was worn to the bone from the crack. "I said couldn't… I never said can't."
A smile crossed Fandom's face.
"How cute…" whispered the nurse before he collapsed from the convenient poison dart.
When Fandom awoke the next morning, the hospital was empty. Show had left and she was left alone again.
Then she looked on the tableside… sitting there was a DVD with a sticky note attached to it:
"My dearest Fandom, it is with great regret that I write this… I wish we could have had more time. However, I will be back in January. From then, I hope this short trailer will be enough. PS: Cream tea!"
Fandom smiled for the first time in a long time, and held the DVD close to her chest.
"Where were you, when everything was falling apart. All my days, were spent by the telephone… it never rang, when all I needed was a call. It never came, to the corner of Tumblr avenue…"