Rules for the TARDIS
Never ever use the psychic paper to get out of speeding tickets, bar tabs and warrants for your arrest
Never play hide and seek in the TARDIS, you will get lost and I'm not coming to look for you
Never ask The Master if he and The Doctor have ever had sex and if so did Romana and Brax join in ?,while the Doctor's reaction will be hilarious he will start acting all emo because they died in the time war.
Never crank call the Daleks because they will track you all through time and space
Never quote portal (1,2,3) because it will freak out some new people that are traveling with The Doctor because you are quoting a game a game that will not come out for a another 4 years form 2011 and Doctor does not like it when people mistake it for a genocidal A.I
Never ask to go to a historical event and try to change history (Doctors note : honestly stop that I have enough on my plate without having to deal with a paradox and more often then not unlike Pete Tyler he/she/it wont kill themselves to stop the end of the universe)
And above all for the love of whatever god you believe in stay alive