Maybe I shouldn't be surprised that I'm thinking about this. After all, many of my family members seem to be suicidal. Rose, Roxy, Scorpius Malfoy… who wasn't related to me, but was as good as.

But… it's so hard. Everyone sees me as the dreamer. There's always happy endings and fairy tale princes, for little blue eyed, blonde haired Lucy.

I heard my own heart beating last night. It sounded like footsteps on my stairs, and I thought that he had come back.

But he won't.

He's dead.

I saw him die.

I saw the curse hit him.

I saw Molly crying. I saw Rose screaming. I saw Al running. But I didn't… couldn't do anything.

And last night, it was like he wasn't dead. It was like Lysander Scamander was going to come up my stairs, sneaking around so my dad wouldn't know, and kiss me.

But he didn't, and he won't ever again.

Dead people don't walk up stairs or kiss people.

Unless they're ghosts. But we don't really need to go into that.

I really miss Ly. He could make me laugh at anything. Going into Muggle buildings just to watch the vacant stairs of the people in the elevators. But now I'm the same, because he isn't there.

I tried going back, just for the memories, and it was terrible. I felt like one of them, and I almost broke down right there in the elevator. I ended up taking the stairs.

Some of the girls Ly dated before me blamed me for his death. I don't know why I just thought of that, but I did.

Their lip gloss smiles scared me, and they were wrong.

Ly's death wasn't my fault. It wasn't. It couldn't have been.

The Slytherin was trying to curse me, yes, but Ly didn't have to jump in front…

He didn't. It was his choice.

Then why do I feel like I cast the curse that killed him?

But he died first.

All of us have been dying. Ly just came first.

Rose and Scorpius. Roxanne. Grandad Weasley.

But it's changing. And soon, I will be added to the list. I'm just making this for Mum, Dad and Molly, and everyone else too, so they know why I left.

Maybe I'll see everyone again.

Maybe the knife will pierce my heart and Ly will come and lead me to the angels.

Maybe he'll save me.

Or it could be Rose.

There's always the chance that there is nothing after death.

I don't think so, though. Ghosts are dead, and so there has to be something beyond death.

ooOoo

Lucy Weasley looked up from her paper. It was time to go. She could feel it.

There would be no happily ever after for Lucy Weasley.

Which was okay, because she stopped believing in them after Lysander Scamander's death. She wasn't happily, bubbly Luce anymore, but she pretended she was. She pretended that she was happy and content with life for her family. She pretended.

Slowly the knife inched closer and closer to her heart. It touched her skin, and slid through.

As the blood drained out of her body, she smiled. She could see Lysander. Lucy Weasley found happiness, even if she had to die for it.

This was for Suicidal on HPFC. It switched from first to third because she was writing on the paper. So that was in her words, but after that, a narrator says what happens.

Also, this may be my last piece for a while, as on the first day of school I had three hours of homework, and I really need to focus on school. I still have some left now, so ciao.

I don't own HP. Or daggers.