Oops, I knew I forgot something... I do not own Deathnote. I wish I did, but I dont. . . .sad face.

A/N: Sorry about the screwy summary, I just haven't decided where to take this story yet. And as a bonus, I have to go to bed in 20 minutes and I'm still in full zombie costume make up. Lol enough about me. Enjoy my story...or hate it. Whichever you please.

Summary: L and Watari search the world for geniuses who aren't orphans, while Light pretends to be stupid in order to avoid problems that arise from being a genius.


The Plan VS. The Counter Plan


L sighed as he felt someone walk up behind him. Without turning, he had already deduced who it would be. "Watari."

Watari paused a moment before talking. L's ability to always know what was going on, even when absorbed in his work, still amazed the old man. "Yes, have you decided who will be the successor to your name yet L?"

"No," L sighed, "not one child has all of the requirements to succeed, and the 2 that make a great pair refuse to work together."

"Well perhaps we should focus more on their weak-points and strengthen them."

"There is only so much you can do to change someone's personality, Watari."

"I understand, but what would you say we do?"

"I've been thinking for a while and I'm surprised we haven't thought of this much sooner. It is obvious that if we can't find an orphan with all the necessary skills, we should expand our search."

"But L-"Watari was interrupted.

"Let me explain Watari." L continued, getting more excited the more thought he put into it.

"Now most orphaned children likely have at least some emotional trauma, which leads to areas of underdevelopment. Geniuses already usually have stunted social skills, without the help of emotional problems. Together, these problems combine to create; children with strange addictions, psychopathic Bs, suicidal As, over-emotional Ms, emotionless Ns and myself. Not to mention the untold others we're lucky to have not come across yet.

With a genius raised in a family environment, that is mainly taken care of. As for secrecy, a faked death and certain erased files handle it. Or if that's too much, just make it a normal thing for geniuses to disappear for a while and for a few to not return at all. If this begins to be expected, it will never stand out when I finally choose a successor."

"Ok fine. Let's say for the sake of an argument, that we find the perfect successor hiding somewhere. What if whoever we find doesn't want to be L?"

"Well then they are against justice and it becomes my job to find them."

Watari sighed. Now that his ward had an idea in his head there was nothing anyone could say to stop him.

L sensed Watari giving in and did an internal victory dance.

'Wherever it is that you, my true successor, are hiding, enjoy your last few days of normalcy. L's life is a hard one. One you're going to start soon. No matter who or where you are. I'll find you. And when I do, you're not getting away from me. I am justice, and justice will always prevail.'

Somewhere in the world, a certain Light Yagami sneezed.

~5 years later~

The art of being stupid is one that Yagami Light had down to the proverbial T. Most of the other genius idiots have yet to figure it out. Ha, I made an oxy moron. Although, you'd be surprised how many genius idiots there are out here.

Anyway, back on track… One does not just randomly select a question or 2 and try to get them wrong. No. Nor do you do it to every 4th question or some other such ridiculous, predictable pattern like that.

The key lies in, like all things, strategy. You need to choose ahead of time a subject or 2 your awful at, a few your neutral, and 1 your good at. Then whenever you get homework, consistently get the same basic principals wrong, and get it wrong on the test as well. Also, you have to make a show of not paying attention in class, or else suspicions will be raised, and you'll be given a special "learning disability," and assigned a tutor pronto.

Now why would anyone choose to be stupid, you ask? The answer is a letter. The 12th letter of the Roman alphabet to be exact. Yes, starting around 5 years ago, when I was just 12, any student showing above average intelligence anywhere in the world has been whisked away in the name of the great detective. In some cases, never to be seen again. Those who come back just aren't the same.

Some say it's a top secret government facility where they practice experiments on the brain. Others say L is training an army of intelligent minions to carry out his every command. A few even say he's looking for a girlfriend! And the theories only get more and more bizarre as time goes on.

I personally believe he's weeding out the competition. A little paranoid I know, but some are saying he's looking for a successor. As if! The day a man like that retires is the day I come out of the closet… Wait, its not that I'm in the closet, I just meant…its impossible ok! Never gonna happen.

Anyways, I have only met one of the "returned". A high school student at the time, by the name of Teru Mikami. He claims that they just gave him a very in depth personality test that he was forced into taking. Afterwards he spent a night locked in a hotel room somewhere, unable to leave until told otherwise. He tried to leave of course but the room was completely inescapable. Or so he says. Regardless, the next day a man with a bored expression on his face came and unlocked the door, ignored all questions, blindfolded him, and drugged him. Next thing he knew, he was laying in his bed with his parents rejoicing at his return.

I know what your thinking, why would it be so awful to work for L that I'm acting stupid. The answer lies with those who didn't fail the first test. They come back almost like mindless, emotionless zombies. A shadow of there formal selves. Many fall into a deep depression and some even commit suicide. Now that's enough to warn off some, but then the there are those who got even further. Those who actually spoke to L. They come back in various states of psychological disarray. Post traumatic stress disorder, misanthropy, extreme paranoia, schizophrenia, and psychosis, just to name a few.

Finally, there are those who don't return at all. Some hopeful idiots claim they fulfilled there purpose and now work for L. I think those people are naïve. Take a look at those that have returned and tell me that the others are in good health. No, I'm near positive that the ones who don't return, are dead.

To get off that somber note, let's talk about me. Ha ha sorry. At least I can admit I'm a narcissist. And who wouldn't be? Just look at me. I'm smart, strong, interesting to talk to, popular without trying, and downright sexy.

I've notice an inconsistency in this story. If this started when I was 12, didn't it look suspicious when I suddenly lost all my intelligence? The answer is no. I used the art of stupidity since day 1 of kindergarten. The reason? Thanks to my mothers friend. Her name? Unimportant. Her affect? Immense.

She gave my mother books for me to read when I was "older." So the first non-degrading child book I'd read was Evil Genius. Then added to the list; Artemis Fowl, Matilda, Ender's Game, and Battle Royal. Now tell me. What lead to all there problems, besides being a genius. And in some, having questionable morals (sound familiar)? The answer? Other people knowing that they're geniuses. So at the nice age of 5, I decided, *Dramatic pause* to hell with that! No thank you. And thus, stupidity became my reality.

A/N: End of prologue. Question? Longer or same sized chapters. Please Review. I'm tired. LxLight forever. Yada yada yada and goodbye.(btw my face is still pale and bloody D: )