Vita poked her head out of the hallway and warily glanced around to make sure no one had stayed home. She saw no one. Satisfied, she approached the computer and turned it on. When the machine was ready, she entered a search.
She would never admit it, but Vita had watched Ichigo Mashimaro with Hayate and enjoyed it. It was cute and funny, and appealed to her in a way she couldn't quite understand.
With the search completed, she clicked on a story.
A New Transfer Student
Why does this chapter name fill me with dread? Vita thought to herself. The answer would become clear very soon.
I stood up in front of my new peers as my teacher introduced me to the class. "This is Melanie Smith, she is from America, "
Of course she is. Is it too early to put up a Mary Sue warning?Not too early at all, it seems.
The whole classed owed and awed as the stared at my strange pale brown skin, and curly dark brown hair. "She might not be very good at Japanese, " he said, "but help her out if she needs anything, okay?"
Maybe the author will actually have her not be good at Japanese, I mean she's pretty young. How could she have learned another language? It would be like me trying to speak english, and I'm older then she is!Vita could feel anger welling up within her, but she kept reading.
"Okay!" the class responded.
"Um, writeo your nameu on the blackboardo, " he tried to say in English.
There's something wrong with this, but I can't put my finger on it. Vita thought.
"Um, I know both English and Japanese, " I said,
OF COURSE YOU DO.
"I can also write in Japanese. " I wrote my name on the blackboard in Japanese, then in English beside it.
So I assume she started learning Japanese from birth!
"My name is Melanie Smith!" I said happily, "Nice to meet you all!"
"Now, " Sensei said, "Anna move over one."
Anna? Who's Anna? Do you mean Ana? Because her name isn't Anna.Spelling a canon character's name wrongly greatly annoys Vita, it seems. She read on, hoping that it might improve, or at least for more snark-worthy material.
"Buto Sasazuka-" The young girl named Anna started.
"Sasazuka go stand in the corner!"
"Hallway! It's hallway, you idiot!" Vita shouted at the screen. Now she was in full snark mode.
Sensei told him, "Now Melanie sit between Matsuri, and Anna."
No. You don't do that. Go sit somewhere else.
One girl stood up and said, "Hey! She speaks English! She can speak to Anna!" The rest of the class agreed with her.
This would be pretty funny if it wasn't for this character being a Mary Sue.
"Perfect!" Sensei said, "Now Anna will have a new friend."
"OH THEY BOTH SPEAK ENGLISH THEY WILL AUOMATICALLY BE FRIENDS." Vita said in a mocking tone of voice.
I looked at the pretty English girl next to me, "Hello Anna!" I said.
ANA. HER NAME IS ANA, Vita mentally grumbled. The author apparently just didn't care.
She just ignored me so I talked to the girl next to me, "You are Matsuri-san correct?' I asked her.
"Y-y-yes!" she stammered. Apparently she is a very shy girl.
She's not that shy. She can talk to people without breaking down. Most of the time.
She just looked down and blushed. "Um… Ha-ha-haro, " she tried speaking English.
"It's 'Herro'. Come on, Matsuri's actually pretty good at english, she would know that. I only know Japanese and Ancient Belkan, and I know that!" Vita yelled at the computer again. Of course, yelling at the computer wouldn't make the fiction any better.
I just looked at her and said, "It's okay you can speak to me in Japanese."
"Because I magically have complete command of the language."Vita snarked.
"Um… okay, " she said softly. Then she looked away again and blushed. Her white hair with brown tips look was quite odd.
"Do you mind if I hang out with you after school?" I asked her. My parents would have completely questioned me if I came home on time.
So they want to get rid of you too?
That is because they REALLY want me to make new friends here.
"Um, okay" she said. There was a slight smile on her face.
After school I ended up meeting up with Matsuri-san's friends. "Oh my god!" said a girl with light brown pigtail, "A foreigner!" With that she tried to pick a fight with me, but I ended up kicking her in the stomach, which made her fly back.
The Mary Sue has inexplicable super strength and martial arts skills too. Great.Vita had a valid complaint, but to be fair that's par for the course for Miu, and possibly the most in-character moment in the chapter.
"Urgh, she's tough, " the strange girl said while getting up.
"Miu!" yelled a girl with short black hair. Her hairstyle was also quite odd. She had most of her hair down, but some of it was in a pigtail to the side.
"Sorry about Miu, "
She said, "My name is Chika Ito by the way." Her smiled soon turned into a frown when she saw Miu-san attempt a high kick. I just grabbed her leg and twisted it.
And super-reflexes too.
Matsuri-san looked at me in awe. "Wow…" she whispered.
Mary Sue warning sign number four: The other characters in the fic look at the OC with awe.
"Um lets go home, " Chika-chan said with a sigh.
When we got to Chika-san's house Chika-san confronted her big sister.
They proceeded to duel.
"Isn't she too young to be smoking?" I asked Matsuri-san.
Matsuri nodded her head yes. "She is only sixteen, " Matsuri-san told me.
She was twenty in the anime... but she looked sixteenish, and I think she was sixteen in the manga... so this author actually read the manga. And then they wrote this. Idiot.Indeed, to Vita, so many mistakes was simply unforgivable.
Chika-san big sister got out of her chair and knocked me over with a big hug.
"Oh my god! You are just too adorable!" she said, "You are almost cuter than Anna!"
Of course she is! She's the damn overly-perfect stereotypical Mary Sue, she's obviously almost cuter then... wait, nevermind, they're talking about that Anna person again. Not Ana.
"Nobue!" Chika-san yelled, "Get off of Melanie!" Chika-san tried to pull of Nobue-sempai,
But... Nobue isn't her superior in any way. How can she be a sempai? A matter of fact, how the hell can you pull of someone?Typos rank highly on the Vita-annoyance scale as well.
but she pushed Chika-san away. "Ouch!" she yelled.
"Let me hug her for just a couple of more minutes Chika!" Nobue-sempai asked her. "She is just to cute. You know I've never seen a black girl before."
"You know, I know that dark-skinned people exist in real life, even though I've never seen them before, and I know that they're perfectly normal people. But I can't help but think that this person just made their Mary Sue dark-skinned just so they're different from the other characters. Which is pretty damn bad. Unless the author is dark-skinned, which means this is probably a self-insert fanfic," Vita commented out loud. Little did she know, the author actually is dark of skin.
"I'm half black, " I gasped, "and please get off of me you're gonna crush me!"
With that Miu-san jumped on Nobue-sempai. "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Miu-san yelled, "This is revenge for earlier!"
I like seeing this Mary Sue in distress.Vita grinned.
Dammit Miu, " Chika-san said as she pushed her off of Nobue-sempai.
Nobue-sempai finally got off of me, "Sorry, " she said, "I was drunk."
Drunkness now just wears off in a few seconds.
Nobue-sempai hit Miu-san in the back of the head.
Well, the author managed to get that right too...
As Miu-san was rolling around in pain I though, "A sixteen-year-old girl who smokes and drinks, a crazy violent idiot, and a shy fraidy cat. Where have I possibly have turned wrong"
By writing this fanfic. Damn, I never thought I'd see Ichigo Mashimaro Mary Sue fanfiction! And now I have, and I hate it! And there's five chapters!