You can never have too much Klaine smut, can you?
The correct answer to that rhetorical question is "No, Genia, you can't. Please continue writing essentially plotless Klaine smut for our and your own slightly creepy amusement. It doesn't make you a massive pervert at all."

Anyway, as you probably guessed from the title, this little fic is about the universally acknowledged fact that Kurt Hummel is definitely sexy, even if he doesn't know how to be.

Chuck some reviews at me.

And it's probably a good thing that I don't own Glee.

The Unintentional Sexiness of Kurt Hummel

Kurt never believed me whenever I told him he was sexy. I didn't really understand why. For someone who dressed so fabulously all the time, he didn't seem to think that much of himself, at least not in a sexual context. We had only just taken our relationship to the next level, but even after our most heated make out sessions and our most fevered love-making, Kurt was still convinced that he wasn't sexy and he didn't know how to be. That was only half true. He wasn't good at being sexy on purpose, but when he wasn't actually trying he was sexy as hell.

The fact that it was all so unintentional was a large part of the appeal. It was all so... innocent. The littlest thing could just drive me wild, like when he would suck on the end of his pen while writing notes in a class, or when he would shimmy his shoulders along to the music during Glee rehearsals. Little things that he didn't even realise he was doing. Kurt's unintentional sexiness had very gradually turned into my number one fetish.

Like a few weekends ago, for example, when I was at his house watching movies in his bedroom. His dad and his step-mom were home so the door was ajar, as was the rule. Considering we were just slouching around in his house, Kurt was still well-dressed, although he insisted that this was him 'dressing down', and it was what he was wearing that had gotten me so hot and bothered that I could hardly pay attention to the film.

He was wearing this baggy black sweater, so baggy that it was slipping off one of his shoulders and showing off his pale, creamy neck that I was absolutely dying to kiss. The black only made him look even paler, like he was made of porcelain and would break if I handled him too roughly. He was also wearing blue skinny jeans, so tight that they could have been painted on. When he got up to put a different movie in the DVD player I couldn't help but watch him. I didn't mean to leer, but he walked with such a flirty little wiggle that it was impossible not to stare that perfect ass in those devastating skinny jeans. I had to grab one of his pillows to hide the bulge in my pants.

"You look so damn hot, sweetheart," I said.

Kurt scoffed as he sat back down next to me. "Whatever. I look like a slob today. I haven't even done my hair."

"You are so blind to your own sexiness, Kurt," I laughed.

"Now you're just being ridiculous," he said, rolling his eyes. "You know I suck at being sexy."

I just shook my head at him. He was so oblivious.

One night I just couldn't handle Kurt's unintentional sexiness anymore. I could no longer just sit back and watch while he drove me wild with lust without even realising it. I probably would have imploded from the pressure of it all if I hadn't acted on this particular occasion.

My parents were out of town so he was spending the night at my house, and we'd fallen asleep in my bed after having slow, sweet, gentle sex. I was sleeping quite soundly, but a noise very abruptly brought me back to consciousness. It was a moan, a moan that I definitely recognised. I turned around and looked over at Kurt. He was lying on his back, the bed sheets pushed away so I could see his slim, toned chest and that line of light, downy hair on his stomach that led to his groin. His skin was rosy, and his breathing was short and quick, and... oh sweet Lord, his erection was tenting the bed sheets. But, even though he was writhing and whimpering, he was still fast asleep.

I sat up so I could watch him properly. One of his hands was holding the bars of the headboard, and the other was very slowly moving down his chest as he let out high little whimpers. His hand pushed the bed sheets away even more until I could see his thick, beautiful cock. One of the most pleasantly surprising things about Kurt was that he was actually very well endowed, bigger than me in fact. Kurt liked to be on the bottom, so I hadn't been taken by him yet, but I thought about it almost every time I touched myself and I was certainly thinking about it now. His hand moved lower and he let out a deep moan as he very slowly started stroking himself.

"Mmmm... ohhh... ahh... ohh, Blaine..."

Oh my God. Not only was Kurt having a sex dream right next to me, but he was having a sex dream about me. It felt like my brain was short-circuiting so all I could do was watch as the blood in my body seemed to rush straight to my cock. He was stroking himself so slowly, squeezing the head of his leaking cock and thrusting into his fist as he kicked away the rest of the bed sheets. I knew he had no idea what he was doing to me. He wasn't even awake, for goodness sake, and he'd told me once that he hardly ever remembered any of his dreams. But it was the grandest display of Kurt's unintentional sexiness I had ever seen and, once my brain started working again, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I moved the sheets away completely and knelt between his parted legs. He was still moaning my name as I bent my head down and slowly licked the salty pre-come from his glistening cock.


I looked up, my lips around the head of his cock, and saw Kurt staring wide-eyed down at me. I raised an eyebrow at him, before shutting my eyes, moving his hand away and taking as much of his gorgeous length in my mouth as I could. I bobbed my head up and down, relaxing my throat so I wouldn't gag, and hummed around him, causing him to make some of the sexiest noises ever, noises that would put a porn star to shame.

"Oh God... oh, Blaine... ahhhh... ohh, that's so... so good... ahh... oohh – w-why are you stopping?"

I took his cock out of my mouth and made my way up his body, straddling him, and kissing him hard instead of answering.

"You're so hot, Kurt," I whispered as I kissed my way down his jaw and his beautiful neck. "You are so fucking sexy..."

He giggled underneath me in a dismissive way, and I raised my head to look at him, right into his eyes.

"Kurt Hummel, you are the sexiest man I have ever seen," I said seriously. "Watching you touch yourself in your sleep just now was so fucking hot I could've come on command. I don't care if you don't think you're sexy, because I'm going to keep on telling you until you believe me. Now enough talking, I need your cock in my ass right now before I actually go insane."

He looked kind of speechless, but smirked up at me. For once I couldn't tell whether he was aware of how sexy he looked or not. But I was past caring. I grabbed the half empty bottle of lube from the bedside table and squirted loads of it into my hand, slicking up his cock with most of it and using the excess to push two fingers up my asshole and stretch myself out. Maybe another time we'd take our time and I'd let Kurt prepare me, but I was just too damn horny for romance and gentleness right now.

I positioned myself over Kurt, his hands holding onto my hips, and I very slowly impaled myself on his cock. Oh fuck, he really was enormous and even with all the lube it hurt like hell, but I was just so desperate to come that I didn't care about the pain. Actually, if I was being really honest, the pain actually felt kind of... good. I felt so full once he was finally all the way inside me, and once I'd adjusted to the intrusion we started to move, slowly at first but steadily faster.

I rode him hard and fast as he held onto my hips so tightly that I was sure it would leave bruises, the both of us moaning and crying out louder and louder. Very abruptly he flipped us over with a surprising amount of strength, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder and kissing me roughly. The bed was creaking under us, the headboard hitting the wall with such force that my bedside cabinets were shaking too. Kurt was pounding into me so hard, harder than I ever thought he would. He didn't seem to care if he might be hurting me and, to be honest, I didn't care either. Usually he was kind of passive whenever we had sex, but now it really felt like he was in charge and it was so fucking hot.

He was letting out these deep growls, so sexy and manly, and those sounds alone probably would have made me come even if he wasn't fucking me senseless at the same time. His hand was around my cock, stroking me fast as he fucked me harder and harder, his lips and teeth were latched onto my neck, sucking and biting in a way that would definitely leave a sizeable love bite. Finally something snapped, the tidal wave crashed over me and I was erupting all over the both of us, crying out so loud that I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd woken up the neighbours. Kurt came right after to me, thrusting erratically into me, his scream muffled by the fact that he was still sucking on my neck.

We collapsed beside each other, messy and sweaty. My whole body was aching and I couldn't even breath, but I'd never felt happier. That had to be the best sex we'd ever had.

"God, I love you so much, Kurt..."

Kurt chuckled breathlessly, wrapping his arm around me and kissing me on the cheek.

"I love you too, honey," he said, sounding jarringly cute considering what had just happened.

We lay in silence for a while, too exhausted to clean ourselves up or cover ourselves with the discarded bed sheets. I probably wouldn't be able to sit down without wincing for a few days, but I couldn't have cared less. I was just about to fall back to sleep when Kurt whispered "Do you really think that I'm sexy?"

I looked at him in surprise and turned my whole body towards him, gathering him up in my arms.

"That fact that you have no idea how truly sexy you are just seems to make you even sexier."

I knew he didn't believe me, but I suppose you can't win them all. If he was aware of how sexy he was then his sexiness wouldn't be unintentional. And then it wouldn't have been nearly as frustratingly fantastic.

Hope you enjoyed the filth, Humble Readers.