It was a normal average breakfast in the Casson household.
Saffy was dictating Rose's homework, Rose was complaining, Indigo was attempting to learn a new song on his guitar, David was eating, Eve was trying to make the porridge she promised her children to be smooth while painting one-handed, Caddy had popped by with Buttercup who was screaming, and Bill was reading the letters and muttering to himself about bills.
Nothing but the extraordinary would make them quiet and today the extraordinary was going to happen.
"Good God!" Bill suddenly shouted immediately silencing everyone.
Buttercup was still sniffling apparently he was teething...again...which meant everyone avoided the baby. Last time Buttercup teethed he chewed up all of Rose's crayons, bit David several times, and made a hole in the blow up bed Tom usually sleeps on. No one was sure how Buttercup even got into that cupboard in the first place...
"What is it Bill darling?" Eve asked as she accidentally dribbled pink paint into the porridge.
Everyone immediately decided a bowl of cereal would do for them today.
Apart from David who could never hurt Eve's feelings since she always made him feel at home.
"It is my mother," Bill said slowly.
"You have a mother?" Rose asked disbelievingly.
"Is she dead?" Eve asked almost hopefully.
"Eve! Rose!" Bill shouted. "No she is not dead and of course I have a mother, how on earth did you think I came to existence without one?"
"I always thought you came out of an egg like a snake," Rose said causing Saffy and Indigo to snort.
"What does your mother want?" Eve asked nervously still dripping pink paint into the porridge.
"My mother, your Grandma Casson," he added for the children's benefit, "will be coming to visit us for a week this Easter holiday."
"D-d-did you invite her?" Eve stuttered. She now looked deathly pale and the children were beginning to get worried as she clutched the kitchen side to keep steady.
"She just invited herself? That's rude," Saffy said disgusted with the grandmother she never met.
"That's Grandma Casson," Caddy said softly. She shuddered at the only memory of her over bearing, rude, harsh grandmother. "I'm glad that I no longer live here."
"You will be here for when she arrives, for certain family events throughout the week, and for when she finally leaves," Bill ordered Caddy. "She is visiting to see you since she heard about the wedding fiasco. She also wishes to see Saffy, Indigo and Rose."
"Why wasn't she at the wedding?" Rose asked curiously.
"I believe she was in Switzerland for her health at the time," Bill said.
Eve never sent an invitation to her was the real answer but Bill wasn't going to tell his very rude and proud daughter that. If his mother upsets Rose in any way she would be quick to use that as ammunition against the elderly lady. He can't have his daughter cause his mother a heart attack and possibly killing her. Actually on second thoughts maybe he should...the woman hasn't stopped criticising him since he married Eve and it's driving him insane.
He will not let her have any ammunition to criticise him during this visit.
"Right then," he said loudly, "we must get to work. You all must help make this house spotless, Indigo please stop dressing in black for the week, Saffy get rid of that nose stud, Caddy for the love of god do not tell your grandmother you're not married, Rose stop wearing your brothers clothes, David you are the only child of mine I can trust set an example of what a good polite child the others should be, and Eve please do not let my mother upset you, love you all, I have to go now, bye darlings..."
And just like that Bill disappeared for his studio across town where he won't have anyone arguing with him. As he correctly predicted a sudden outburst of anger exploded amongst his children.
"David isn't even his son!"
"Oh you don't think Grandma will be cross if I have a child without marrying do you?"
"I'm not cleaning anything!"
"What's wrong with my nose stud?"
"What's wrong with my clothes?"
"What's wrong with Indigo's clothes?"
The back door opened and Sarah popped in with a cheerful smile. "Good morning Cassons! How are you on this lovely typical rainy English day? Oh Eve, are we having pink porridge today? It looks interesting..."
Eve snapped out of her horrified state and looked at the porridge in despair. "Oh no!" she wailed. "I put paint in by mistake! I am so sorry my darlings! I'll make some eggs instead!"
"No time Mum," Indigo said nodding to the clock, "we'll be late for school...again."
Quickly rushing round the children but Caddy got ready for school. Eve shoved biscuits down their throats for breakfast and made sure Rose had her new tie on. It had almost been a year since Rose started secondary school and she despised her school tie so much that it was usually found in the bin or in Buttercup's mouth.
The moment the children were gone and Caddy had left to work Eve sat down besides Buttercup who was now chewing her paintbrush. "Oh Buttercup darling!" she wailed. "Why did that evil hag have to come?"