CHAPTER 3:CRAZINESS AT ITS PEAK
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Classes finally ended and Kate and I went to pick up Majandra from the infermary. The second she saw us she ran out, amid Madame Pomfrey's protests, and screeched loudly " I am so embarresed! I must be the laughingstock of the sixth years. It was those damn glasses,"
"Actually," I lied smoothly "No one even noticed,"
"Thats not tr-" Kate began to say but before she finished her sentence I stomped, and I mean STOMPED, on her foot.
"Oh my lord!" she shrieked, falling into the hard brown chair in back of her "Lily! I swear, you are such a wannabe Slytherin."
"Eeeeeh, sorry! Sorry!," I cried sheepishly "I didn't mean to stomp soo hard. Sometimes my feet have a mind of their own."
"Yeah? Well, get Madame Pomfrey. I need some potion thingie to uncripple me,"
Good thing we were still in the infermary. After we had finished with all the cures and healing, we began to walk to the Great Hall for dinner. Kate was walking as far away from me as possible and every time I got within a foot of her she jumped back and muttered loudly "FOOT CRIPPLER!" She was joking, though. I think.
Majandra had a huge smile on her face and she kept twisting her black hair into tiny knots, which is what she always does when she gets exited. She kept bouncing from one side of the hall to the next which was really annoying since I was having a conversation with her and constantly had to turn my neck, which was starting to hurt.
"Just tell us already!" I finally blurted out.
"Ouch," Kate exclaimed, rubbing her ear " Ear impairer!"
"I said I'm sorry," I said, exasperated "Now, Maj, what?"
Majandra giggled and jumped in front of me, twirling around. She threw her arms out blocking every single person behind her from walking through the corrider.
"What's different about me?" She said slyly.
"Umm.........." I trailed off thinking. What was different about Majandra. She was still in the same black robes I was in and her hair was still hanging straight down. I moved closer to get a better look. Maybe she had gotten a hair cut. That seemed like the best answer.
"You got a haircut?" I guessed.
"NO!" She said, agonised. "How can you not see?"
"Earings?" Kate said.
"No!"
"Ummm...socks?" My not-so-clever guess went.
"For G-d's sake, no!"
"Shoes?"
"Nope," she said looking almost as if she was going to cry. "My glasses! Why didn't you guess that?"
"Oh, yeah," I said, realizing what she meant. Her glasses were nowhere to be seen."Where'd they go?"
"Madame Pomfrey charmed them invisible," she said in a subdued voice "Thanks a lot! You're supposed to be my FRIENDS! If you won't notice then noone will!"
"Dont wo-" I began to say but was cut off.
"What if I look the same with or without glasses? Does that mean I was always this ugly?!" She began to hyperventilate.
"Majandra, shut up," Kate exclaimed as she took charge "You look perfectly perfect! You are not ugly, ok? And you do look different without your glasses. Me and Lil didn't notice because," she paused with a sideway glare at me "LILY was too busy thinking her next victim in her cruel plan to switch into the Slytherin and become a cold-hearted murderer while-"
"I was not!" I cried.
"WHILE I was getting over my deafness and didn't hear the question because of the ear impairer over here. So you'll have to excuse this,"
"Fine," Majandra muttered, her head still hanging down sadly.
"Are you really mad at me?" I asked Kate, exasperated.
"Well, no, ok?" she grumbled "But I just really really wanted to mean to someone today, yah know? And this was the perfect chance,"
"And I'm the wanna-be slytherin?" I joked, as we entered the Great Hall and took seats. And since I know you're probably DYING to know where James sat, he sat a few seats down from us on the other side, close enough so we could hear his conversation if it got a tiny bit loud, but far enough so we'd get our privacy. Thank G-d, yesterday's dose of giggly girls was enough to satisfy me for a year.....No wait, a lifetime.
The second we sat down, Sirius ammiedietly called out from his seat "Yo, Majandra, how's your nose? That was great entertainment in Binns's class."
Majandra turned crimson and said "Get a life, Black."
He just laughed and turned back to his conversation with Peter. I rolled my eyes as I held Majandra back who was murmuring things about pounding him to a vegetable and scouring him in boiling oil.
Kate broke in my yelping "Guess who I like? Guess who I like?"
"Better not be someone wierd," I said under my breath to Majandra.
Kate narrowed her eyes at me and said "Snape is a perfectly normal wizard who is totally sexy, so no, he's not wierd."
I was so thrown off I dropped the plate I had been holding which ammedietly cracked into tiny peices as it hit the floor, making a loud shattering noice. Majandra spit out her food, and lucky me who was sitting across from her, got a wet grayish substance smack in the middle of my forehead.
"Majandra!" I squeaked, as I wiped it off with a napkin "That is just disgusting!"
"Ooops," she whispered.
I was ready to throw up. Imagine the litter bowl of a cat after it ate something that totally didn't agree with that, mixed in with in vomit and the ground from a dump. Now double it, and you'll get the equivlancy of chewed bread, olives, and peanut butter (which I might add, I am allergic too) that was spit onto my forehead.
I was ready to scream. So you'll imagine how mentally unstable I was when I took a bite of my noodles, chewed it as quickly as possible, and did what any other three year old would do: spit it out at her. Exept it hit Kate.
"You are going to be inside a coffin under huge heap of dirt when I finish with you," she shouted. All the first years and I gaped at her. Ok, death threats and shouting in private or around fellow pupils (as Proffesor McGonnagol called us) fine, but in front of the whole school? NOT GOOD!
Kate picked up the strawberry jelly, and reaching over, threw a spoonful at me. "I was only joking when I said Snape! I meant Kylin Mangold," she said in a loud high-pitched voice.
By now, the whole table and most of the others were staring at us. Me and Majandra had given up with the disasterous chewed food fight, and were trying to get Kate to shut up. But no, she kept going, blabbing in the same loud voice, as Proffesor Mcgonnagol got out of her chair to ruin our lives by most probably telling us we were being expelled.
Kylin's girl friend though, had heard and yelled out "Keep your hands off of Kylin you stupid slu-"
"That's enough!" Proffesor McGonnagol screamed out. She pointed at the three of us "You, you, and you get up and follow me," Then she paused before pointing at Sirius and said "You too,"
"WHA?!" Sirius exclaimed "I didn't do anything!"
"That is what you have said each time I accuse you of something, and each time I'm right. Now up!"
Oh my G-d, Oh my G-d! I slowly got up, trembling. I was going to be mauled to death. Visions of me in rags begging for pennies on the streets, going insane in Azkaban, and my wand being snapped in half popped up. My parents were going to freak!
The four of us slowly walked outside, as the entire school murmured to each other about the nasty punishments we would be getting. As we passed by James he gave Sirius an encouraging smile, and sort of glared at me. I didn't blame him though. I mean, I did get his best friend in major trouble. Why do these crazy, unrealistic things always happen to me?
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Classes finally ended and Kate and I went to pick up Majandra from the infermary. The second she saw us she ran out, amid Madame Pomfrey's protests, and screeched loudly " I am so embarresed! I must be the laughingstock of the sixth years. It was those damn glasses,"
"Actually," I lied smoothly "No one even noticed,"
"Thats not tr-" Kate began to say but before she finished her sentence I stomped, and I mean STOMPED, on her foot.
"Oh my lord!" she shrieked, falling into the hard brown chair in back of her "Lily! I swear, you are such a wannabe Slytherin."
"Eeeeeh, sorry! Sorry!," I cried sheepishly "I didn't mean to stomp soo hard. Sometimes my feet have a mind of their own."
"Yeah? Well, get Madame Pomfrey. I need some potion thingie to uncripple me,"
Good thing we were still in the infermary. After we had finished with all the cures and healing, we began to walk to the Great Hall for dinner. Kate was walking as far away from me as possible and every time I got within a foot of her she jumped back and muttered loudly "FOOT CRIPPLER!" She was joking, though. I think.
Majandra had a huge smile on her face and she kept twisting her black hair into tiny knots, which is what she always does when she gets exited. She kept bouncing from one side of the hall to the next which was really annoying since I was having a conversation with her and constantly had to turn my neck, which was starting to hurt.
"Just tell us already!" I finally blurted out.
"Ouch," Kate exclaimed, rubbing her ear " Ear impairer!"
"I said I'm sorry," I said, exasperated "Now, Maj, what?"
Majandra giggled and jumped in front of me, twirling around. She threw her arms out blocking every single person behind her from walking through the corrider.
"What's different about me?" She said slyly.
"Umm.........." I trailed off thinking. What was different about Majandra. She was still in the same black robes I was in and her hair was still hanging straight down. I moved closer to get a better look. Maybe she had gotten a hair cut. That seemed like the best answer.
"You got a haircut?" I guessed.
"NO!" She said, agonised. "How can you not see?"
"Earings?" Kate said.
"No!"
"Ummm...socks?" My not-so-clever guess went.
"For G-d's sake, no!"
"Shoes?"
"Nope," she said looking almost as if she was going to cry. "My glasses! Why didn't you guess that?"
"Oh, yeah," I said, realizing what she meant. Her glasses were nowhere to be seen."Where'd they go?"
"Madame Pomfrey charmed them invisible," she said in a subdued voice "Thanks a lot! You're supposed to be my FRIENDS! If you won't notice then noone will!"
"Dont wo-" I began to say but was cut off.
"What if I look the same with or without glasses? Does that mean I was always this ugly?!" She began to hyperventilate.
"Majandra, shut up," Kate exclaimed as she took charge "You look perfectly perfect! You are not ugly, ok? And you do look different without your glasses. Me and Lil didn't notice because," she paused with a sideway glare at me "LILY was too busy thinking her next victim in her cruel plan to switch into the Slytherin and become a cold-hearted murderer while-"
"I was not!" I cried.
"WHILE I was getting over my deafness and didn't hear the question because of the ear impairer over here. So you'll have to excuse this,"
"Fine," Majandra muttered, her head still hanging down sadly.
"Are you really mad at me?" I asked Kate, exasperated.
"Well, no, ok?" she grumbled "But I just really really wanted to mean to someone today, yah know? And this was the perfect chance,"
"And I'm the wanna-be slytherin?" I joked, as we entered the Great Hall and took seats. And since I know you're probably DYING to know where James sat, he sat a few seats down from us on the other side, close enough so we could hear his conversation if it got a tiny bit loud, but far enough so we'd get our privacy. Thank G-d, yesterday's dose of giggly girls was enough to satisfy me for a year.....No wait, a lifetime.
The second we sat down, Sirius ammiedietly called out from his seat "Yo, Majandra, how's your nose? That was great entertainment in Binns's class."
Majandra turned crimson and said "Get a life, Black."
He just laughed and turned back to his conversation with Peter. I rolled my eyes as I held Majandra back who was murmuring things about pounding him to a vegetable and scouring him in boiling oil.
Kate broke in my yelping "Guess who I like? Guess who I like?"
"Better not be someone wierd," I said under my breath to Majandra.
Kate narrowed her eyes at me and said "Snape is a perfectly normal wizard who is totally sexy, so no, he's not wierd."
I was so thrown off I dropped the plate I had been holding which ammedietly cracked into tiny peices as it hit the floor, making a loud shattering noice. Majandra spit out her food, and lucky me who was sitting across from her, got a wet grayish substance smack in the middle of my forehead.
"Majandra!" I squeaked, as I wiped it off with a napkin "That is just disgusting!"
"Ooops," she whispered.
I was ready to throw up. Imagine the litter bowl of a cat after it ate something that totally didn't agree with that, mixed in with in vomit and the ground from a dump. Now double it, and you'll get the equivlancy of chewed bread, olives, and peanut butter (which I might add, I am allergic too) that was spit onto my forehead.
I was ready to scream. So you'll imagine how mentally unstable I was when I took a bite of my noodles, chewed it as quickly as possible, and did what any other three year old would do: spit it out at her. Exept it hit Kate.
"You are going to be inside a coffin under huge heap of dirt when I finish with you," she shouted. All the first years and I gaped at her. Ok, death threats and shouting in private or around fellow pupils (as Proffesor McGonnagol called us) fine, but in front of the whole school? NOT GOOD!
Kate picked up the strawberry jelly, and reaching over, threw a spoonful at me. "I was only joking when I said Snape! I meant Kylin Mangold," she said in a loud high-pitched voice.
By now, the whole table and most of the others were staring at us. Me and Majandra had given up with the disasterous chewed food fight, and were trying to get Kate to shut up. But no, she kept going, blabbing in the same loud voice, as Proffesor Mcgonnagol got out of her chair to ruin our lives by most probably telling us we were being expelled.
Kylin's girl friend though, had heard and yelled out "Keep your hands off of Kylin you stupid slu-"
"That's enough!" Proffesor McGonnagol screamed out. She pointed at the three of us "You, you, and you get up and follow me," Then she paused before pointing at Sirius and said "You too,"
"WHA?!" Sirius exclaimed "I didn't do anything!"
"That is what you have said each time I accuse you of something, and each time I'm right. Now up!"
Oh my G-d, Oh my G-d! I slowly got up, trembling. I was going to be mauled to death. Visions of me in rags begging for pennies on the streets, going insane in Azkaban, and my wand being snapped in half popped up. My parents were going to freak!
The four of us slowly walked outside, as the entire school murmured to each other about the nasty punishments we would be getting. As we passed by James he gave Sirius an encouraging smile, and sort of glared at me. I didn't blame him though. I mean, I did get his best friend in major trouble. Why do these crazy, unrealistic things always happen to me?
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