Purple palm trees… soft grass… ripe fruit. Frieza looked around at his new environment in a half daze. This planet looked awfully familiar… hadn't he sold this a few years ago? Great… Frieza sighed. He'd gone from too far into the future to too far in the past, and this planet was about to get purged. Still… at least he was stronger than Vegeta in this dimension. There was no way that money was about to kill him!
"This planet is awesome!" Frieza's eyebrows rose at the sound of a woman's voice. Who was that? He looked up ahead of him and could just make out a lake past the trees that surrounded him. Was someone there? He cautiously took a step closer.

Hey, hey, hey,

"Frikiza'll make a fortune from it!" the same voice chirped.
"Yeah, and we won't see any of it…" another woman sulked. "Hey Yasa, when are you planning on doing this super saiyan thing?" Yasa…?

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains,

"Shut up! It'll happen soon!"
"Yasa! You've been saying that for years!"
"Shut up, Raidisha!"

I knew I wouldn't forget you and so I went and let
You blow my mind,

Frieza froze. He was too late. The planet had already been purged, and it had been purged by… her. Fuck! His eyes widened. That other Freeza had sent him to her. Yasa… how old was she now, sixteen? Seventeen? The same age she'd been when she'd met him… Frieza couldn't believe it! His counterpart had actually given him another chance! Seriously? Why would he do that?

Your sweet moonbeam,
The smell of you in every single dream I dream,
I knew when we collided you're the one I have decided
Who's one of my kind.

Frieza steadily approached the lake and hid behind a tree, looking out at the women. There were three of them… a young Yasa, Nanapa and who he assumed must be Raidisha, the female Raditz. They were sat down eating a large amount of meat and fruit. Frieza's stomach tightened as he looked at Yasa. It was really her… she looked so cute! No wonder his counterpart had wanted her – Yasa was a hot teenager! Then again, what did he expect?
"Hey." Yasa looked around. "Guys, do you feel that? There's someone here." Oh crap. Frieza's heart stopped. What the hell was he going to do now? Maybe he should just do what his counterpart did and demand that she marry him… Hm. Actually, that wasn't a bad idea.

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio stereo,
The way you move ain't fair you know,

Yasa stood up along with Raidisha and Nanapa.
"Yeah, I feel it." Nanapa replied. She looked around. "I thought we killed the last of them?"
"Obviously not…" Yasa mumbled, moving her eyes in Frieza's direction.

Hey soul sister I don't want to miss a single thing you do,

"I can see you!" Yasa snapped. "Come out now or I'll go over there and destroy you myself!"


Obediently Frieza stepped out from behind the tree, smirking a little at the girls' reactions. His heart raced with excitement; he couldn't believe this was actually happening! The girls' eyes widened as they stared at him, baffled by what they saw.

Hey, hey, hey,

"Is that… an icejin?" Raidisha blinked.
"It looks like a robot." Nanapa stated.
"How can it be a robot, it had skin!" Yasa barked. She took a step towards Frieza. "What are you doing here! Answer me, now!"
"Hehe." Frieza chuckled, folding his arms. So she always had been aggressive. Perfect.

Just in time I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me,
You gave my life direction,
A game show love connection we can't deny,

"My name is Frieza." Frieza began. "I'll explain a little more later, but first off…" he smirked, folding his arms. "How would you girls like to be set free?"
"Set free?" Raidisha frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You work for Frikiza, right?" Frieza answered. "And you are the last remaining saiyans in the universe?"
"How did you know that!" Yasa demanded.
"Just a hunch." Frieza shrugged. "If you want I'll kill her for you, or at least help you escape."
"Ha! Yeah, right!" Nanapa sniggered. "Just try and hurt her, you'll get crushed. What's your power level anyway Metal-Mouth?"
"At the moment…" Frieza mumbled. "One hundred and twenty million."
"That's impossible!" Yasa growled. "Stop fucking around! Tell us why you're here now or I will kill you!"
"I'm not lying." Frieza insisted. "Check."
"…" Yasa looked at Raidisha. "Your scouter?"
"Oh – sure."

I'm so obsessed my heart is bound to beat right
Out my untrimmed chest,
I believe in you like a virgin you're Madonna,
And I'm always gonna want to blow your mind.

"Ow!" Raidisha shrieked as the scouter blew up in her eye. She threw it off, glaring at Yasa.
"He's telling the truth! I just got blinded!"
"Impossible…" Yasa uttered, trembling a little.
"Listen," Frieza approached her, fixing his eyes onto hers. He knew exactly what to say to make her his; what had teen Yasa cared about more than anything else in the world? Power. "I can give you girls whatever you want. Money, power, planets, you name it. You just have to trust me."
"Why would we?" Yasa frowned. "What's in it for you? Nobody does anything for free."
"I know." Frieza smirked. "In exchange I want you to marry me."
"Huh!" Nanapa and Raidisha's jaws dropped.

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio stereo,
The way you move ain't fair you know,

"Hey, um… Mr. Rich Guy," Raidisha grinned. "If it's a princess you want, I can do a royal wave."
"Raidisha!" Yasa snapped. "Stop being such a gold digger."
"Oh that's easy for you to say, he already picked you!" Raidisha pouted.
"I know…" Yasa turned to Frieza. "Why do you want to marry me anyway? You don't even know me."
"I'll explain it later." Frieza folded his arms arrogantly. Yes! He had her! "For now… why don't we go and tell Frikiza you won't be working for her anymore?"
"Alright!" Raidisha cheered. "Yasa, you have to marry him! Just wait until he's killed Frikiza and then you can get divorced!"
"I'm afraid not." Frieza shook his head. He looked at Yasa. "You have to stay with me until I get bored of you."
"What makes you think you'll get bored of me!" Yasa snarled. Frieza chuckled. Precisely.

Hey soul sister I don't want to miss a single thing you do,

"Is that a yes?" Frieza asked.
"Uh…" Yasa looked at Nanapa and Raidisha who were staring at her pleadingly, nodding their heads.
"This is our chance!" Nanapa whispered to her, and said to Yasa telepathically, "Then when you turn into a super saiyan you can leave him, right?"
"I guess…" Yasa replied. She looked at Frieza. "… Okay. But you have to tell me who the hell you are and how you know me!"
"Deal." Frieza beamed.


"Wow! This is so cool!" Raidisha exclaimed as the four of them flew away from Frikiza's ship in a stolen space shuttle. "Did you see her face! I've never seen her so mad!"
"I've never seen her so sad!" Nanapa grinned. "I thought she was going to cry!"
"She did cry." Yasa smirked a little. She moved her eyes to Frieza. "So you're her from the future? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"
"Well do you have any other explanation as to why my power level is so much higher?" Frieza retorted.
"I thought you were her older brother." Yasa shrugged. "Anyway… what's with the metal? You obviously got hurt by someone stronger than you."
"I – I did not!" Frieza growled, blushing. Yasa sniggered.

Well you can cut a rug,
Watching you is the only drug I need,
You're so gangster I'm so thug,
You're the only one I'm dreaming of, you see,

"You have to tell me. I'm not your wife yet, and I'm not going to be unless you stick to your side of the deal." Yasa argued.
"I will." Frieza put his arm around her, half expecting to get punched in the face. Yasa tensed a little, but let it slide. Frieza smiled. Wow… this was really happening! He was going to marry her!

I can be myself now finally,
In fact there's nothing I can't be,
I want the world to see you'll be with me.

"Hey Frieza, do you have an older brother?" Raidisha asked, coming up beside him.
"Uh… yeah." Frieza mumbled. "But I'm not planning on seeing him. He won't want you, anyway."
"Hahaha!" Yasa and Nanapa burst out laughing while Raidisha's face reddened.
"Why not!" she demanded, glaring at Frieza.
"No reason…"

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio stereo,
The way you move ain't fair you know,
Hey soul sister I don't want to miss a single thing you do,

"Where are we going now?" Yasa asked, looking at Frieza.
"Well… I always wanted my brother's empire." Frieza smirked. "So why don't we claim it off Frikiza's sister?"
"Really!" Yasa's eyes widened.
"Of course." Frieza answered. "You can have it; I have an empire of my own at home. I'll live there."
"If we're going to live in separate universes why are we getting married?" Yasa frowned. "How would we even see each other?"
"Don't worry. I have something for that." Frieza answered, setting the dimension traveller down in front of her. "You asked me what this was earlier… once we've taken the empire I'll show you."
"… Alright." Yasa smirked a little, raising her eyebrow as she shot him a semi-flirtatious glance. "Just this once I'll trust you."

Hey soul sister I don't want to miss a single thing you do…

Frieza smiled as Yasa relaxed under his grip and he closed his eyes. Now this was happiness. This was perfect.


Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey,

Meanwhile, in the future universe…

"I'm so happy." Yasa smiled as she looked into her husband's eyes.
"Really?" Freeza replied with an arrogant smile; he was lying on top of her underneath the bed sheets. "I forgot how good I was."
"Shut up!" Yasa smirked, hitting him.
"Mm." Freeza trailed a finger down her cheek, taking holding of her chin. "Come here." He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss her.

Yasa and Freeza looked up to see a tall green bug-like man stood there.
"Sorry if I'm interrupting." The man smirked. He moved his eyes to Yasa. "Hey… you were right, Freeza. Your wife is hot."
"Uh… this isn't the best time, Cell." Freeza mumbled, blushing a little.
"Freeza…" Yasa seethed. "Who is this!"
"Your lodger." Cell replied, folding his arms boldly. "Freeza said if I ever escaped from Hell I could live with the two of you." He smirked darkly at Yasa. "You like alien men, don't you? Freeza's been telling me you're quite the adventurous little one."
"…" Yasa looked at her husband who was staring sheepishly at her, his power level dwindling.
"Yasa –" Freeza began, cut off by his wife's angry scream;
"You were fucking him!"


The End

'You Ain't Got A Hold On Me' – AC/DC
'I Knew I Loved You' – Savage Garden
'Something There' – Disney
'Kiss With A Fist' – Florence and the Machine
'Make Me An Island' – Joe Dolan
'Take Me With You' – Secondhand Serenade
'I'm Your Man' – Leonard Cohen
'Hey, Soul Sister' – Train