A/N: Just another one-shot I cooked up while listening to this song I am lovin' right now, and looking at that sad pic of Jake dancing with Bella at her wedding. Hope you all like it. Also gotta give some love to my Beta KiKi Lahote because she wrote the end due to the viewing of Alex Meraz naked behind pics...lol I was going the smutty route which is not where I wanted this one-shot to go, so yeah LOVE YA girl and your sweet ways.
Song link: The Band Perry If I Die Young: http: (/) (/) 7NJqUN9TClM
If I Die Young
EDITED version, The original UN-EDITED version is on my blog
http: (/) lynnsficbackup(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ & at jacobblack-n-pack(dot)ning(dot)com
Bella was sitting in the middle of Jake's worn garage, on a milk crate, watching him do everything in his power to avoid looking at her. She had already been here going on two hours and he hadn't said one word to her. The only sounds were that of the rain pounding on the tin roof above her, the clank of his tools in front of her, and the low hum of the radio behind her.
She wasn't really focusing on anything but him, though. She was keeping her eyes on his back knowing that he could feel the heat from her gaze and wanting him desperately to give in to it. He was fighting it though. When she had walked in Jake was moving about the garage with ease, organizing parts on shelves and rearranging furniture that she knew he could clearly care less about. Yet, she sat and watched and waited.
He was going to turn around and talk to her at some point, she just knew it.
Her heart skipped a beat some ten minutes later when his body did actually shift in her direction. She straightened on her crate and squeezed the long empty soda can in her hands, preparing herself for his words. But nothing came, not even his eyes slid down toward her, no he moved past her, giving her a wide birth. She followed his movements, turning on the crate so she could once again bore her eyes into his back.
He would give in, he always did.
Moving from side to side, Jake began cleaning off the work bench with a greasy rag, yet another utterly useless movement, he was only smearing the dust and grease around. Bella let out a long sigh hoping to grab his attention. Her action seemed to work because Jake stood this his full height and froze before he began moving again. What was it going to take?
As Jake continued to move the dust around on the work bench, Bella looked around the garage remembering the more pleasant times that she had spent here: goofing off with Jake, watching Quil and Embry place bets on the dumbest things, building bikes with Jake, all the while her love for him growing.
She had finally admitted it to him less than a week ago, right after the newborn fight as he lay bloody and sore in his all-too-small twin-sized bed in the little red shack just feet from where they were now. That's where she broke his heart and left a piece of hers.
She never let her eyes leave Jake, watching him as he moved toward the Rabbit and then back to the workbench again, avoiding her, always avoiding her.
Just then, Jake wadded up the greasy red shop rag and threw it down on the work bench and turned slowly toward her and her breath caught in her throat. He didn't look happy or sad, or anything really, he was wearing the "Sam mask" as Bella called it, but at least he was looking at her now.
He was leaning back against the bench, his hands on the either side of him gripping the edge. He wasn't saying anything to her, nor did he look like he was getting ready to; just looking at her, watching her, waiting for her to do something this time, for her to make the move.
She stood, placing the can on the crate where she had just sat and scuffed the toe of her worn shoes in the dirt watching the dust cloud rise. She looked up at him through her curtain of hair and her heart began to pound, she didn't know where to start. Just as she opened her mouth he shifted to the left and flicked the radio with his finger, "I want you to listen to this, Bells."
She sucked in a breath at his use of her nickname, and then she pinched her brows together at the sound that was coming through the radio, "You listen to country music now, Jake?"
He shook his head and pushed off of the bench as he slowly made his way to her, "Only the songs that remind me of you, besides this ones on every station coming out of Seattle."
He stepped so close to her that Bella shuddered and then fought the urge to lean into his warmth. She sucked in a painful breath when his hand interlaced with hers and he pulled her forward. She could already feel the tears welling in her eyes.
His hand wrapped around her waist and she stilled, but Jake chuckled as much as he could and Bella relaxed when she felt the vibration through his chest, "Relax honey, I'm not going to do anything, just please listen to this song with me."
Bella nodded her head into his chest and listened to the DJ announce the next song as his heart thudded steadily in her ear.
There was a slight pause on the station, and Jake slowly began to move them. Then a woman's voice cut through the silence of the radio and Bella froze while Jake's hand tightened on her waist and he continued to sway.
She knew what this was then: his last attempt to get her to change her mind before it was too late. She let her hand, which was limply hanging at her side, wrap around his waist and grab onto the thin fabric of his worn shirt. A tear fell.
"That's what it's going to be Bells, but it's not romantic like you think it is," he whispered into the top of her forehead, causing her to swallow the lump that was lodged in her throat.
His hand gripped hers tighter as the words filled the garage, "and even though you think Renee doesn't care or love you, she does Bells, just like Charlie does, and Billy, the pack, just like I do. It's going to kill her if you do it, Honey."
She couldn't speak; all she could do was cling to him and rub the front of her tear soaked face fully across his chest, runny nose and all. Her heart was hardly beating; it was too busy breaking at the pain from his words, the pain that matched the words of the song.
She didn't want to listen to anything else, she had promised Edward that night, the night she confessed her feelings to Jake, that she would never shed another tear over him. Now here she was, in his garage clinging to him like he was the last thing on earth and crying her eyes out into his warm chest.
"And it's not true Bells, you haven't had enough time, you're just getting started. We could just be getting started."
Bella could feel a rumble in Jake's chest at the last verse of the song, "It's only a week away, Bells. I got it in the mail yesterday, and I thought about running, leaving it all behind, leaving you behind. It hurt so fucking bad honey, but then I heard this song for the second time already that morning and I stopped, because it's you Bells and as soon as you marry him that's it."
Jake's hand fought free from the grip Bella's small damp hand had on his, only to wrap around her back just above his other arm and pull her even closer to his body in one of his signature Jake hugs. A loud, ugly sob escaped her as she fisted his shirt with both of her shaking hands. She couldn't stop shaking, her mind was a whirl of emotions that Bella couldn't get control of; she just wanted it to end, all of it. The hurt she was causing Jake, the worries that she had about both of her parents and the constant tension that hung in the air between the Cullens. All of it because of her and the decision she was about to make.
Jake continued to hold her, his embrace on her getting so tight that she could hardly move her chest to breathe and the thought alone scared her. If she were a vampire her chest wouldn't have to move and she wouldn't be able to really feel the force that he was putting behind his hold, the force that was trying to keep her from slipping away from him and everything around her forever.
She flattened her hands and ran them to them up his spine as she laid her ear flat to against his chest again, she wasn't tall enough for her ear to be over his heart, but she could still hear it in his chest, beating strong and a little fast-paced. She could hear it, his love for her and she knew then that she wasn't ready to let that go, to him go.
The song slowly came to an end, but Jake continued to hold her and rock them back and forth. She squirmed in his arms, and with one last squeeze, he let her go, but he wouldn't dare look at her. She could see the tracks from his own tears running down his face.
Closing her eyes, Bella prepared herself for the one thing that she had waited so long for, "Jake?" She asked him while straightening to look up at him, his arms wrapped loosely now around her body, "look at me Jake." He shook his head no in defiance.
Her hand moved up to his jaw and she ran the pad of her finger over the stubble that was on his chin, something Edward would never have, and she smiled. "I'm not ready Jake," his head snapped downward and he looked at her, clearly stricken by her words.
"I don't wan to say goodbye." Finally, he smiled that wide, bright smile she had been waiting for. She smiled too and wrapped her hand around to the back of his head. Standing up on her tip-toes, she tilted her head back and pulled him in close.
He moved so slowly he was almost hesitant, as if he were savoring the moment. Finally his lips gently brushed hers. Not for the first time, she wished she were taller. He pulled slightly away and looked into her eyes.
"Are you sure? This is what you want?" Again, he brushed her lips gently, giving her hips a squeeze. "If you take it back...if you do this and change your mind again...I couldn't take it."
She was dying to kiss him. "Jake. I mean it. With every part of me, I mean it, and I don't want to go back-I never want to go back from this moment."
Finally, he kissed her. He moved his hands up to her waist and lifted her onto the workbench. She put her hands in hair and parted her lips to meet his tongue with hers.
He slowly pulled back and breathed against her lips. "So, this is it? You're mine?"