By Mike Douglas
Special thanks to nezabudka1 for help with editing.
Rating: NC-17 (Adult Language, Sexual Situations – gay sex)
Disclaimer: Luke, Noah, and all related characters, plots, and locations are property of As the World Turns, Telenext Media, and CBS Television. No profit is made from this fan creation. No copyright infringement is intended!
"And maybe one day soon, when and if you're ready, you . . . get on a plane and . . . I'll be waiting."
Luke recognized where he was immediately and as he did the original time, he did not say anything but shook his head yes, they kissed, and he watched Noah leave.
He suddenly flashed to the hospital arguing with Reid. "Stop being stupid, Luke. I'm dead. Go to him!"
Next, he was kneeling in front of Natalie and Ethan explaining why he and Noah broke up. Their hurt looks sent pain through his body as their tears punctured a hole right through his soul. Then it was their first kiss at WOAK, Noah helping him walk, the first time Noah said he loved him, the first time they had sex.
It has been two months since Reid died and two months since Noah went to Los Angeles. He has woken up for sixty days in a pool of sweat. It was the same dream, night, after night, after night. It just wouldn't stop. Luke looked over at his alarm clock and decided to get up. He staggered out of bed, changed into his barn clothes, and walked down to get a cup of the elixir of life.
Luke stood there exhausted, looking at the steady stream of coffee dripping into the decanter. He chastised himself for making the whole decanter, instead of a single cup. Behind him, he heard someone coming down the stairs. The door opened and his dad walked into the kitchen, yawning.
Holden was surprised to see Luke in the kitchen. "Luke, what are you doing up?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Holden looked sadly at his son. Breaking up with Noah, Reid dying and Noah leaving for Los Angeles was a lot for anyone to handle. "What's wrong?"
"I'm having this dream over and over," Luke poured them each a cup of coffee and sat down at the table across from each other. "I made the coffee a bit strong."
"It's normal to have dreams after you lose someone," Holden's eyes widened as he took a sip, wondering if Luke used the whole can of beans.
"I'm sure it is," Luke took a sip of coffee. "But my dreams are about Noah."
Holden almost choked on the coffee. "Noah?"
"Surprise!" He giggled as the coffee began to kick in.
Holden suddenly became curious of the content of the dreams. "What are they about?"
"I'd rather not talk about it right now," Luke wanted to change the subject. "I'll help you out in the barn."
"You don't have to, Luke. You've been through . . . ."
"I want to. It will take my mind off things for a while."
They got up and walked out into the cool morning air towards the barn.
The horses seemed to know that Luke was upset and each one seemed to hug him as he let them out of their stalls. Working in the barn helped Luke forget at first but all too soon, he started having daydreams of the times Noah helped in the barn. Then Reid popped into his head.
"Did you just ask me to help you in the barn? Are you kidding?" laughed Reid. "That's a little too rural for me." Luke remembered how upset he was at being turned down. "If I wanted to clean up shit, I would have become an orderly." Reid started to leave the room but not before he turned around and said, "Ask Noah, he's rural."
Luke shook the dreams out of his head as he finished up in the barn. He filled up his coffee cup and went up to take a shower. He stripped off his clothes, hopped into the shower, turned the water on and let the warm water run over his naked body. The dreams started again. He was kissing Reid at his apartment but when they pulled apart, he was kissing Noah in their apartment.
"I love you, Luke."
"I love you too, Noah."
"I'm waiting for you."
The next dream shifted to the time Noah sneaked into the shower with him after he helped Luke in the barn when Holden and Emma were away.
"Hi handsome," said Noah as he opened the shower door.
"Noah!" Luke squeaked with fear in his voice and a slight flinch.
"I just wanted to see if you wanted your back washed," he grabbed the soap and began to lather Luke's back.
"That feels good," Luke was enjoying the feeling of having his back washed by the person he loved.
"How about this?" Noah pressed his naked body up against Luke. He began rubbing his soapy hands over Luke's pecks, paying close attention to Luke's nipples. Luke was moaning away as Noah pulled on each nipple. The moaning continued as Noah moved his right hand lower and lower, until he wrapped it around Luke's growing cock.
"I aim to please," Noah whispered into his ear.
"Well, if you really want to please me . . ." Luke's voice trailed off.
Noah got the hint and lowered himself to his knees. He pushed his face into Luke's ass and began to shove his tongue as far up into Luke as he could. Luke moaned loudly.
"That's it Noah . . . deeper," moaned Luke.
Noah did was he was told for what seemed like an eternity before he turned Luke around and engulfed his cock. As Noah was sucking Luke's cock, he was probing Luke's ass with his fingers. He stood up and turned Luke around, squeezed some water-resistant lube on his dick and slowly began to insert his erection into Luke as Luke held his breath.
Noah moved slowly for a few minutes, waiting for Luke to get accustomed to his girth, but was soon fucking Luke like mad man. They had waited so long to have sex that any anytime they had sex, they made sure it was pleasurable for the both of them. Noah was hitting all the right spots, while Luke's ass seemed to be milking Noah's cock.
Luke's legs almost gave way as he forcibly came over the shower wall when he came in his dream. He shot multiple times, without even touching himself. Luke could feel Noah in the shower, breathing on his neck, as he used to do. When his breath was steady again, he finished washing off, got out of the shower, dried himself off, dressed, and walked down stairs to the kitchen for breakfast.
Breakfast was just being put on the table when he walked into the kitchen. The kids were missing but he could hear the television on in the parlor and saw his mother walk into the kitchen with a half-full pitcher of orange juice.
"Good morning, Luke," Lily looked worried. She knew something was wrong. Luke went over and gave her a tired kiss. "The dark rings under your eyes give you away, you know. What's wrong?"
"I've been having these dreams . . . even when I'm awake." He poured himself his third cup of coffee that morning and sat down at the table.
Luke explained the dreams he's been having, in detail.
"I even had one in the shower that . . . ," Luke turned red.
"A little on the erotic side?" Lily asked cautiously.
"It was so real. It caused me to . . . um . . . without . . . um . . . um," Luke stuttered as he looked down at the table, embarrassed from almost explaining his sex dreams to his mother.
"I'm afraid you might get that from me," Lily sounded almost apologetic. "A few weeks before I stopped dating Mike, all I could think about was about your father, especially, during some ill-timed moments." Lily looked embarrassed but Holden had a big grin on his face.
"I don't understand. Why am I having dreams about Noah? Shouldn't I be having dreams about Reid? He's the one who died."
"Your heart is telling you what it wants. Your brain just isn't ready to hear it yet," Emma's wisdom came from years of life.
"What really confuses me is that every time Reid talks to me, he tells me to go be with Noah."
"I think Momma is right. Your heart is telling you what your mind is denying," Holden agreed with his mother and Lily.
Ethan had finished his breakfast and was listening to the conversation in the kitchen. Grandma never let the kids eat in the parlor in front of the television, so he knew something was wrong. After the conversation in the kitchen paused, he ran up the stairs and into Luke's room. He opened Luke's phone and pressed a few buttons.
Noah groaned as his cell phone started ringing at five o'clock in the morning. He grabbed his phone off the bedside table and answered it in a tired voice. "Hello."
"Ethan, is that you?" Noah was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"How are you doing, buddy?"
The silence unnerved Noah, leaving him wondering what is going on. "Is everything okay there?"
"No," whispered Ethan.
Noah sat straight up in bed. "Is Luke okay?"
"He's having dreams."
Noah could not help but smile at Ethan's reply.
"Momma and Dad are worried about him. He's sleepy all the time."
"He's not sleeping good?"
"No . . . what does erotic mean?"
Noah was shocked by Ethan's question. "Um . . . ," he was not sure how to answer.
"Someone's coming. Bye," Ethan hung up the phone before Noah could say anything.
"Luke is having erotic dreams about me?" Noah said to himself. A smile over took his face again.
For the next several weeks, Ethan continued to call Noah, telling him about the dreams Luke had been having.
Pre-production on his film was finished. Noah scouted out places to film but the actors would not be ready for another week, so he decided that he would go back to Oakdale for a few days.
Holden was surprised when Noah showed up at the farm. "Noah, what are you doing here?" Holden hugged Noah.
"I had some time before we start shooting, so I wanted to come back for a few days."
Holden's face broke out into a big smile. "You missed us, didn't you?"
"Well, there's more to it than that. I . . . ," began Noah but Ethan ran up to Noah and jumped into his arms.
"Daddy, I need to talk to Noah," Ethan pulled himself off of Noah, dragged Noah into the house and onto the couch in the parlor. He sat on his lap and began to whisper into Noah's ear about the latest happenings with Luke.
Holden followed them into the house. He took a quick look at them and wondered what their secret was.
Luke entered the house exhausted. He walked right past the rent-a-car parked in the driveway without even noticing it. He walked into the house, through the kitchen, ignoring everything and everyone and sat down in the lazyboy and reclined. He didn't even notice that Noah and Ethan were in the same room.
"Luke?" asked Noah.
"I'm so tired. Can I just sleep?" Luke did not know to whom he was even talking to.
"Sure," Noah was saddened by Luke's condition.
Luke was asleep for about five minutes before he began muttering to himself. Noah lifted Ethan off his lap, got up and walked over to where Luke was sleeping. He knelt down and started stroking Luke's hair. Luke did look very tired. The rings under his eyes were pronounced and it looked like he had lost weight.
"Noah, I love you," muttered Luke.
"I love you too, Luke," Noah whispered back with a huge smile on his face.
Luke opened his eyes and saw Noah kneeling beside him. "Noah?"
"I hear you're not sleeping well."
"Come on, dinner is ready and then I'll keep the dreams away for you tonight, okay?"
"Thanks, Noah," Luke replied as he got out of the chair and with Noah's help, he walked into the kitchen.
Noah wasn't even sure Luke realized that he's really there.
After dinner was over, Noah dragged Luke up to his bed. Luke fell instantly asleep. Noah walked back down stairs and saw Emma and Holden still in the kitchen. "He's asleep."
"Good. He hasn't been getting much lately."
Noah looked down. "It's my fault."
"Your fault?" Emma was curious to know how he was blaming himself.
"If I wasn't such a jack . . . um . . . jerk and pushed him away, none of this would be happening."
"Noah, it's not . . . ," Holden attempted to speak.
"Yes it is, Holden. Everyone knows it, so let's not pretend," Noah knew exactly what Holden was going to say. "I'm going to sleep in his room tonight. I'm pretty sure he won't have dreams with me there."
Emma was going to protest but she decided it might a good idea for Luke. "Who told you?"
"Ethan?" Emma and Holden were both surprised.
"Yeah, he's been calling me for weeks. He's worried about Luke."
"So you know about the dreams, I mean, the topic of the dreams?" Holden knew the answer before he asked. "Does Luke know you know?"
"I do not know word for word but I know they are about me and no, I haven't had a chance to tell him but I will. He's so tired that I don't think he even knows I'm here," Noah stopped talking for a minute. "I'm going up to Luke's room now. I haven't been sleeping very well myself and I'm tired from the flight."
"Since when, Noah?" Holden was curious as to when Noah's insomnia started.
"Since I saw them . . . um . . . for a while now," Noah could not say the word kiss. It brought back too many unpleasant memories.
Holden knew Noah was talking about the kiss between Luke and Reid.
"See you in the morning."
Emma and Holden watched Noah stand up, walk over to the stairs, open the door, and starting to climb the stairs. He disappeared when the door closed behind him. They looked at each other and were grateful that Noah was around to help Luke.
Noah walked into Luke's room and could tell that Luke was having another dream. He took off his shoes, socks, pants and his shirt and crawled into bed, waking Luke up. "It's okay, Luke, I'm here. Go back to sleep."
"Thanks, Noah. I'm so tired."
Noah spooned Luke as they both drifted off to the most peaceful sleep the both of them have had in a very long time. Emma checked on Luke and Noah a couple of times before she went to bed. Seeing them both sleeping soundly snuggled together warmed her heart.
The next morning, Luke woke up groggy from sleeping through the night. He noticed an arm around his waist and turned his head to find Noah in bed with him. "What the hell is he doing here?" Luke thought to himself.
A few minutes later, Noah opened his eyes to find Luke staring at him. "Did you sleep well?"
"What are you doing here and why are you in my bed?" Luke was confused and a little upset. He moved himself away from Noah.
"I was worried about you. I got here yesterday afternoon. I had supper with you."
Luke thought back. "I don't remember."
"I'm not surprised. You probably thought I was a dream."
"I've been having so many dreams lately."
"What are the dreams about?" Noah tried not to smile.
"I have a feeling you already know."
"Who called you, Noah? Was it my parents?" Luke was hurt and upset.
"No, Luke it wasn't," protested Noah.
"Noah, I want to know."
"It was Ethan."
Luke was surprised. "Ethan?" Luke was furious but at the same time, he was happy that his seven-year-old brother would care enough to try to help him.
"Yes, he was worried about you."
"So you came to help me?"
The bedroom door opened and a sleepy looking Ethan walked in holding his teddy bear and a blanket. Noah turned over as Ethan crawled under the blankets and snuggled into Noah's chest, promptly falling asleep. Luke snuggled into Noah's back, smiling at his little brother. He knew exactly why Ethan wanted to sleep snuggled against Noah. He had always felt protected and loved when he did. He snuggled closer into Noah's back and fell asleep.
When Luke woke up, Ethan and Noah were not in bed with him. He wondered if it were another dream but he heard the door open to the bathroom. Noah walked into the bedroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Noah didn't notice Luke was awake and took off his towel before he rummaged through his luggage.
Luke was reluctant to say anything. It had been a while since he had seen Noah nude. It was everything and more than he remembered. Noah had put on a lot of muscle. "Um . . . hello."
Noah jumped and put his towel back on. "Sorry, I thought you were sleeping." He gathered up his clothes and headed into the bathroom to change, much to the chagrin of Luke.
Noah walked into the bedroom moments later. "I helped your father out in the barn this morning."
"Why did you go into the bathroom to change?"
"We are not together anymore Luke. No free shows unless you buy the steer," Noah laughed.
Luke laughed but then got serious. "Just because we aren't dating doesn't mean that you have to change in the bathroom."
"Yes, it does," Noah sat down next to Luke. "I'm not going to use my incredibly hot muscular body to tempt you." Noah couldn't keep a straight face.
"Oh, ha ha," Luke faked a laugh. "You have been working out."
"Thank you for noticing," Noah was happy. "Do you know what you said to me last night?" Luke's blank stare told him that he had no idea. "You said you loved me."
Luke was surprised for a minute. "Love was never our problem, Noah."
"I know. It was me," Noah replied sadly.
"Well . . . not just you. I was to blame as well."
Noah looked surprised but had to disagree. "It was my fault, Luke. I pushed you away when I should have been pulling you closer." He sat down on the side of the bed.
"Well, that's true, but I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. I pushed you away."
"No, Luke, It was all my fault, not yours," Noah was insistent on taking the blame.
"Okay, it was your fault but I acknowledge that I could have handled things better," Luke said just to placate Noah.
Noah nodded his acceptance of Luke's admission. "So what are your dreams about?"
"Well, Reid is telling me to go to you."
Noah was stunned. "Do you think it's . . . ," Noah was afraid to finish.
"What, really Reid?" Luke asked.
"If there was anyone who could nag their way back it is Reid . . . and Lucinda," Noah laughed.
Luke rolled his eyes but had to agree with Noah.
"Come on, I'll make you breakfast," Noah smiled at Luke. "Emma left out some cereal."
Luke smiled as he got up out of bed and put on a bathrobe.
Later that night, Luke was sleeping in his bed. Noah was in the guestroom. Reid again, came to Luke in a dream. "I'm going to keep haunting your ass until you go and be with Noah," Reid said flatly.
"Why do you care?" argued Luke.
"It's my fault?" Reid admitted through clenched teeth.
"Your fault?" Luke questioned as he repeated Reid's words.
"Yes. I knew how close you and Noah were when I first came to Oakdale but I also knew that you were having troubles," Reid paused. "When Noah and I would have treatments, he would tell me things, personal things about you and him. I used that information to get you." Reid looked down in shame. "When you would ask me how Noah was doing, I didn't share the whole truth with you . . . I held back."
Luke was shocked. Noah had told him something similar but he never believed him.
"The truth is that Noah did want to get back with you. From the very first consultation, he wanted to get back with you. He was hoping that the surgery could be a new beginning," Reid confessed to what he could not at the time.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Luke's temper was rising.
"Because, I wanted you. I loved you," Reid looked down again. "But you were not meant to be with me. You were meant to be with Noah. Noah is your soulmate, Luke. You will only be truly happy with him."
Luke closed his eyes as he attempted to assimilate everything Reid was telling him. He began to feel a bit angry. "Says who?"
"I had a stern talking to when I got here," Reid pointed up. "I know you are mad." Reid did not have to be dead to figure that out. The bulging vein in Luke's forehead gave that away. "You have every right to be, but I needed to tell you this, so I can move on and so you can, with Noah."
"So, you caused these dreams?"
"No. Emma is very wise. You should listen to her."
Luke scowled as he opened his eyes and stared at Reid. "How the hell am I supposed to be with Noah now?"
Reid knew that look. "You just go and talk to him."
"After everything I've said . . . done? He told me what you had done but I didn't believe him," Luke started shouting. "I didn't believe him, Reid. I believed you. How can this be happening?"
"Stop being an asshole, Luke," Reid said in all seriousness. "He will understand."
"I'm not sure I understand," Luke was so confused. So many emotions were flowing through his thoughts.
"Would you stop with that emotional bullshit," Reid was getting frustrated.
"And you should have showed your emotions when you were alive," Luke was just as frustrated.
"You are such a drama queen," Reid laughed. "Jesus, I should have gone after Noah."
"I saw him this morning in the shower. Wow, he is hot. I can't believe I never looked under his hospital sheet when I was treating him," Reid grinned.
"Oh, nice," Luke rolled his eyes. He covered his ears with his hands. "Don't tell me this shit."
"What are you twelve?" Reid got all excited. "I wonder if I can be like Christmas past and see what he looks like with an erection," Reid's voice vibrated around the inside of Luke's head.
"I bet he's hot in bed."
"Reid!" Luke complained.
"Maybe he's hard now. I think I'll just go take a quick peek?" Reid started walking towards the door.
"Don't you even . . . ," Luke started to reply but saw Reid walk right through the bedroom door. He got up quickly and ran after Reid but bounced off the closed door. "Oh right, I need to open it."
Reid could not help but laugh. "You are such an idiot."
Luke opened the door and saw Reid going into the guestroom. He rushed down the hall and into the room Reid just entered.
"One last thing, Luke," Reid waved his hand and the far wall turned into the Lakeview bar area.
Luke looked and saw Noah sitting at the bar in a suit. He seemed to be waiting for someone.
"This is what Noah saw, when he thought I was fooling around."
Luke looked at Reid and Chris walking into the hotel, Chris collapsing and Reid holding him up as they waited for the elevator. He saw Noah looking at Reid and Chris but at this angle, he could not see who was with Reid. They then got on the elevator and the elevator doors shut. He looked back and saw the worried look on Noah's face. Luke had to admit that it did look like, from Noah's perspective that Reid was with someone, not helping them.
"What the hell is going on?" the well-dressed Noah asked.
"Luke, what am I doing here? What are you doing here?" Noah was very confused.
"I brought you both here, Noah." Reid announced.
"Reid?" Noah looked shocked but his shocked look turned into knowing. "So it has been you haunting, Luke. I knew it."
"I had to set things straight," Reid honestly replied. "And I had to apologize to both you and Luke. I'm sorry that I came in-between you."
"It was my fault. If I wasn't such an asshole, none of this would have been able to happen."
"That's true," Reid replied bluntly.
Luke looked angrily at Reid. "Reid!" he shouted.
"I didn't help your situation any. Listen, I have to go. Luke will fill you in. Good luck to the both of you." With that, Reid was gone.
Luke and Noah were standing in the guestroom facing each other in the dark.
"What just happened?" Noah looked around apprehensively.
"Um, what did it look like?" Luke did not know how to respond to Noah's question.
Noah sat down on the bed. "This must have been a dream."
Luke sat next to him. "A dream that we both had? I don't think so."
Luke told Noah what happened in his room. They talked for a while, slipped into the bed, and went to sleep.
The next morning, Noah woke up with an arm over his waist. He turned over to see a sleeping Luke lying behind him. Luke opened his eyes and starred into Noah's.
"Was that a dream?" Noah asked as he relived the night before in his mind.
Luke looked into Noah's eyes. "I'm really sorry for not believing you."
"If we are keeping score, my faults totally outweigh yours," Noah replied shamefully.
Luke could see the shame in Noah's eyes. Without thinking, Luke leaned in and kissed Noah. The kiss was soft at first but the longing and the loneliness made the kiss stronger. Without thinking, Luke reached down, as he had done many times before, and wrapped his hand around Noah's growing erection. He could feel Noah stiffen as he began slowly stroking it. Then his hand began to tingle.
"That's some cock!" Reid said in Luke's head.
Luke jumped out of bed and pressed his back up against the wall. Luke could hear Reid laughing.
Luke's quick movement surprised Noah. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing," Luke knew Noah would never have another erection again if he told him. "Come on, I think Grandma is cooking breakfast." Luke got out of the room as fast as he could.
"What the hell just happened?" Noah asked himself as his face showed his confusion. He got up and got ready for breakfast.
When Noah stepped into the kitchen, Lily, Holden, Lucinda and Luke were sitting at the table as Emma put two plates on the table and sat down herself.
"Just in time, Noah," Emma smiled.
Noah sat down. He was famished. Noah's eyes looked around the table to find pancakes, maple syrup, sausage, bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, fruit, and toast. After the morning prayer they started eating. Not much was said during the meal since Emma's pancakes, like all pancakes, tasted the best while they were hot.
"So, how are things going? You look more rested, Luke," Lucinda was finished with her breakfast and was sipping on a cup of coffee.
"I'm feeling better," Luke looked over at Noah quickly and looked back at Lucinda. "I was wondering if you could watch the office for a couple of weeks?"
"Sure, I don't see a problem with it. Lily is running World Wide now and since I've been consulting with you at Grimaldi, I shouldn't have an issue running things for a while."
Luke put his hand on top of Noah's. "I've decided to go to Los Angeles with Noah."
Everyone was surprised at Luke's comment, including Noah. "Are you sure, Luke?"
Luke turned to face Noah. "Yes. It is what my heart is telling me to do."
Noah's eyes started filling with tears. Luke moved his hand up to wipe away his tears. Noah knew then that things would work out for them. He had missed Luke's love, his friendship, and the sex, most of all. As much as he wanted to deny it, Reid had helped him mature into a man. This time he would not fuck it up.