[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow her characters and make them do lovely things she would probably never approve of.
[A/N] Guys, all of you need to check out the beautiful, sexy Bellice drawings on deviantart . They are so incredibly inspiring. I admire people who are talented like that.
This one-shot here is dedicated to my two lovely twitter muses from the other side of the world. You know who you are. Without you I wouldn't even know about essential things like Lady Boners. Hope you'll like this.
My very first memory in this existence is that of thirst, painful, excruciating, mind-torturing thirst. The next thing I remember is the satiating feeling while the warm crimson colored blood of the elk trickled down my aching throat. I sucked and swallowed greedily while my mind that was still occupied with all the unfamiliar, new experiences memorized one thing, one thing above all others. Give into your instincts for they will lead you to what you need.
Right now while I am sitting behind my adoptive brother's human girlfriend, pretending to focus on the boring rambling of our Biology teacher I have to fight the almost unbearable instinct to lean forward and press my lips against the soft skin on her neck. I could do it so fast, she wouldn't even notice it. She never notices them. All the tiny, casual seeming caresses I allow myself to give to her when I'm sure no one is watching us. Like wiping away the rest of her vanilla milkshake from her bottom lip with my fingertip after she slurped the repulsive stuff down in small sips. I asked her how it tasted like, feeling somehow the need to give her a reason why I can't stop starring at her mouth. Delicious for humans, she told me, her lips curving into a shy smile. Her blood would taste delicious to a vampire too, I thought, smiling back at her. But there is more to Bella than her blood, more to her than her overwhelming scent of Freesia that is barely noticeable through the artificially sweetness of the awful drugstore shampoo she's using. Bella is just…well, Bella is just Bella and everything about her excites me way more than it actually should.
"Alice?" she whispers, turning her head around, pulling her long hair over her left shoulder while her front teeth nibble on the pen between her lips, leaving tiny marks on it.
I already know what she's about to ask me and because I don't have to pretend to be normal, well as far as normal is a suitable adjective for a vampire, I answer her question before she makes it.
"Edward is hunting with the other boys. They'll come back Sunday night."
"Why didn't you go with them?"
Because it is way more fun to spend time with my very favorite human friend, or more preciously to spend time with her while no one is around to read my thoughts or control my emotions.
Of course, I couldn't tell her that. It would make her feel awkward, that much I was sure of and I was trying to avoid making her feel awkward at all costs.
"I went hunting yesterday on my own. There is no need to waste an entire weekend in the middle of nowhere."
"If you think I'm going to go to the mall with you again, you're so wrong, Alice. I hate shopping; it's so pointless…,"
"Miss Cullen, Miss Swan, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of the class?"
Bella's cheek blushed into a bright reddish color, making the scent of her blood so dominant in the air that I had to swallow back venom in my mouth.
"I…I…I just asked her a question about…about…,"
Damn it, Bella, you couldn't tell a lie if your own life depended on it, could you?
"She asked me if I could help her a bit with the homework you've given us yesterday." I told him, exposing my razorblade sharp teeth into a bright smile.
"Well, if the two of you are having so much fun working together, I'll be more than happy to give you some extra work. Come to my desk after class is over and now I wish to hear nothing but silence for the rest of the hour."
"Sex education?" Bella's voice raises two octaves as she reads through the first lines of the article Mr. Banner had given to us. Why she is so incredibly embarrassed about the subject is beyond me. I mean it's just sex and not a report about blood types or stuff like that. That would have been embarrassing.
"Actually it's about the awakening of sexual instincts during puberty, focusing on the effect different kinds of hormones are having on it. I can write our report while you're eating this pasta stuff my mother made for you before she and Rose left."
I pour her a glass of milk before I sit down on the kitchen counter, unable to keep my eyes off of her mouth for just a split second. The tip of her tongue licks off a bit of the tomato sauce from her fork before she picks up another piece of Tortellini, nibbling carefully on it in order not to burn her mouth.
"That tastes great. I can't believe Esme manages it too cook so wonderfully although none of you guys is eating food."
"She took some courses. If you don't need to sleep at night you have way too much time to start all kind of hobbies."
"I see. You don't have to do our homework on your own. I need to learn about this stuff anyway, so we can do it together."
"If you want to," I tell her, jumping down from the counter to open the fridge. It was fun having a human inside the house that could actually eat all the cover-up food Esme bought each week in order to keep up our human façade.
"Alice, if I ask you a question, will you promise me not to laugh about it?"
I nod my head and press my crossed fingers against my lips for a moment, pretending to lock up my mouth with an invisible key.
"All this sex hormone stuff, is that for vampires as it is for humans? I mean love and sex and everything that has to do with it. Edward doesn't really want to talk about the subject but I feel like I need to know."
"Bella," I start hesitantly, taking several deep unnecessary breaths through my nose. The scent of garlic and basil, mixing up with the flowery Freesia scent into a nameless chaotic odor makes me cough for a split second. I don't like it when her scent is being ruined by others. I want it pure, I want just it, although it makes my throat burn like fire. Somehow in a weird kind of way, this gives me the impression of being alive, whatever being alive means.
"I'm sorry, Alice. I shouldn't have brought that up; it looks as if it makes you feel uncomfortable too."
No, it doesn't, I think, reaching out my hand to caress the back of hers in a feather light movement, lingering there for a bit longer than it would be appropriate. But her skin is so warm and soft. I can't believe my brother manages it to keep his fingers off of her. I bet she feels like that all over her body.
The thought is in my head before I can stop it. Warm skin against my cold one, blazing fire against never melting ice, I can see her whimpering underneath me, her lips trembling while my hands move up and down her body, her naked body…
A gush of venom starts floating, not in in my mouth but in the expensive French lace underwear I put on this morning. For a split second I panic, but then I realize that she won't be able to notice it with her weak human sense of smell.
"Your eyes are pitch black." she whispers nervously, taking a sip from the glass of milk in front of her.
"It's actually rude to point that out." I tell her, taking her empty plate to put it in the dishwasher.
"I can't control it. They tend to change color when I'm thirsty or…excited."
"Really?" she murmurs, standing up from the chair she had been sitting on. The touch of her hand on my bare forearm makes me turn around faster than I should in order to not startle her.
"Yes, really, Bella – have you forgotten that I promised to always tell you the truth?"
"No, I haven't forgotten about that. But...as you told me that you just hunted yesterday it can't be that you're thirsty again."
"So, that means your eyes are so dark right now because you are excited about something? About what?"
"You," I tell her, wrapping my arms around her neck to pull her closer to my face. Her mouth is probably just an inch or two away from mine when I stop. I shouldn't do what I'm about to do, it's wrong and yet before I manage to listen to the voice inside my head that's my conscience her lips touch mine. I can hear how her heart drums in her chest and the blood rushes through her body sooner than it did a moment ago. Most of all I feel, soft velvety lips kissing my mouth, so tenderly, so lightly. I don't want this to stop ever. The tip of my tongue nudges against her lower lip and when she parts her mouth to gasp for air I swirl my tongue against the underside of her tongue, teasing, dancing, and toying with it. Kissing Jasper doesn't feel half as good as this and that's weird concerning what he's able to do.
When I pull back eventually she almost collapses on the kitchen floor, panting heavily. Damn it, did she actually forget to breathe during the kiss?
"Bella, are you okay?" I ask her worriedly, lifting her up in my arms to carry her to the guestroom at the end of the hall. When I lay her down on the thick blankets of Egyptian cotton she sighs deeply.
"I don't know what came over me. Please, Alice, you have to forget this, will you? We both have to forget."
"No," I tell her, wrapping my fingers around her wrist to check her pulse. It is racing and I wonder if that is always so for humans when they are…agitated?
"No?" Her voice cracks and her brown eyes widen, suddenly looking far too huge in her ghostly pale face.
I take her hand in mine, circling my thumb over her pulse point, feeling how the blood pulsates against my fingers.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. I've wanted to kiss you like that for a very long time."
"Why?" she asks me, her voice so low that it's barely audible even for my vampire ears.
"You are a very beautiful girl and shouldn't be surprised that someone wants to kiss you. I could tell you about at least five guys in school who…,"
"Guys, yes, probably, but you are a girl yourself."
"That doesn't mean I'm not able to see how gorgeous you are."
I lift her hand to my mouth to blow a kiss over her skin. It's a small caress but yet it makes her shudder for several minutes.
"Do you really think I'm pretty?"
"You seem like, you do not believe me."
"I'm too irritated right now to believe anything. You are my best friend. The only real best friend I ever had."
"I'm still your best friend. That doesn't have to change because we're attracted to each other."
"I'm not attracted to you! Like I told you, I don't know what came over me."
I reach out my hand to put a wisp of her long hair behind her ear. To human eyes the color would be nothing but a plain dark brown with a slight hint of red in it. To me it's the most fascinating thing I have ever seen. Gold and caramel and mahogany, mixed up with rich brown tones.
"Tell me that you never thought about me like that before, Bella and I will drive you home this very moment. You kissed me back, don't try to deny that."
I cupped her face between both of my hands and waited for her to speak up again.
"You are the most beautiful being I ever laid my eyes on. But it's wrong that I'm so attracted to you. I'm with your brother."
"Don't speak of him now. He can't even kiss you properly as prudish as he is. I'm kind of tired to pretend he's your mate when it's so obvious that he's not."
"But I'm his singer."
"Yes, you are. That doesn't make you his mate. It just means that your blood appeals to him more than that of other humans."
"And being his mate means exactly what?"
"To be lovers, well, it's a bit more than that actually. Being mates means being irrevocably drawn to each other mentally…," I whisper, putting my fingertips against her left temple to massage it in smooth circles.
"And physically?" she asks me, sucking her lower lip into her mouth to nibble it nervously.
"Yes, that too, Bella,"
"Edward says it's not possible for vampires to have sex with humans. He could kill me while we're getting it on. God, it's so embarrassing to talk about that."
"I'm curious. Did you never have sex with a boy while you lived in Phoenix?"
"Alice, what kind of question is that supposed to be?"
I chuckled and stroked down her jaw until my fingertips brushed gently against the hollow of her throat. If I leaned forward now I could sink my sharp teeth into her soft skin. She wouldn't even feel it, if I made it quick enough. But somehow I feel that it's not Bella's blood that appeals to me that much. Of course it does because it smells good, way better than animal blood ever could but still. It's her I want, and I want her right now. I have waited so long and patience isn't my strong point.
I kiss her again, encouraging her to explore my mouth this time with her tongue by nudging the tip of it gently over and over again with my own tongue. My hand moves down on her back and when I move it under the hem of her shirt she doesn't shrug back from the temperature difference between our skins.
My fingers stroke up her sides until I reach the fabric of her bra. The warmth of her skin radiates through the thin lace material and the thought that she's wearing the lingerie I've bought for her is making me smile against her mouth.
Finally I pull back from the kiss, letting my lips whirl down her throat and her collarbone.
"I've never slept with a guy back home in Phoenix. It was never something that I wanted to do."
"I know, Bella."
"I want my first time to be with someone I love….with someone I trust."
I take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently, carefully making sure not to break the delicate bones in her fingers. Humans are so terribly fragile. It's so easy to hurt them and I definitely don't want to hurt Bella – ever.
"You do trust me, don't you?
She smiles at me, shyly but I can sense the silent agreement in the way her eyes met mine. Searching for something in them, answers maybe, or just reassurance. Whatever it is she finds it there because suddenly she leans forward pulling me close against her side.
"Do you really want me like this, Alice?"
"More than anything,"
I pull her shirt over her head, caressing her soft skin with my fingertips so lightly as possible.
"Ever since I helped you showering after the whole…Ballet studio incident I wanted to make love to you."
"Does Edw…does he know?"
"He can sense that I have feelings for you but he doesn't know how deep they go. As for Jasper, he can feel whatever I feel, and he is trying to keep my emotions at bay. But I don't want this anymore. I want you…I want us…I want it so much that I don't even have words for."
I kiss her mouth, slowly, tenderly while my fingers circle over her cleavage, opening the clasp of her bra letting it fall down on the ground next to the bed.
When I feel her fingers fumbling with the buttons of my blouse I instantly hold my breath. It's completely pointless and stupid because my brain doesn't need any oxygen to function. But while I'm not distracted by the intoxicating scent of her I can focus more on touching her, on her touching me.
Our clothes land on a messy pile next to us and I wrap my arms around her bare back turning us over so that she's underneath me. She whimpers just like she did it in my vision and a low groan leaeves my throat, way too guttural for her to hear it. I don't want her to be frightened while my instincts kick in. I need to touch her, all of her and I can't hold back any longer.
My hand cups one of her breasts, massaging it until I feel the tip harden underneath my touch. Then I lower my head and suck it between my lips. Bella moans and twists her hand in my short hair making me want to bite down on her pebbled nipple. I don't dare to do it. If I'd break the thin layer of her skin with my teeth the consequences will be fatal. Not that the consequences of this night won't be fatal enough without that. I'm not afraid of the things to come, not at all. Having this will….having this with Bella will be worth it.
I kiss down her upper body, dipping my tongue into her belly button, swirling my fingertips over her flat, silky stomach. She's so beautiful and I get to touch her, to pleasure her. I'm the luckiest vampire ever been bitten.
The tip of my tongue moves lower, licking over her flushed body, tasting the salty sweat on it until I reach the clean shaven soft skin on her pubic bone.
She stiffens, this is a big step for her, for both of us but I want this more than anything.
"Let me taste you." I whisper against her flesh, lowering my head a bit more so that I can see all of her, all of her that no one has ever seen before. No one has ever touched before. No one else tasted before.
I can see that she's aroused. Her rosy inner lips are coated in a thin layer of slick moisture. It's hard to put a name to the scent that streams out of her folds now. It's too overwhelming; it's just too much, too much to stay away from it for just another second.
As gently as possible I circle the tip of my tongue up and down, lapping up more of the moisture when I reach her entrance. It's tart and a bit salty almost like blood somehow but unlike the crimson liquid that keeps me alive tasting it doesn't send my mind into frenzy.
"Alice, please you don't have to….oh sweet angels in heaven…what are you doing down there?"
I continue licking her, suckling her outer lips into the coolness of my mouth, making her inhale sharply between her teeth when my fingertips touch against the pulsating pearl of her clit.
My right hand moves between my own legs, shoving the soaked through material of my panties to the side, giving my fingers access to my neglected clit, rubbing it furiously at an inhumanly fast pace.
Then I shove one finger inside the tightness that is Bella's pussy and lose it completely. The world around us blurs into nothing. I growl against her slick folds, circling her clit while her inner walls stretch around my finger inside her. After a few moments I add a second one and after taking a sharp breathe through her teeth she relaxes again. I rub myself, aching for the release that is building from deep, deep within me. Bella clenches around my fingers, once, twice a third time and feel her falling over the edge of her lust a split second before my climax rushes through my body and I press my hand against my mouth, unable to fight the instinct to bite down on something, something apart from Bella's sex in front of me or the pillows next to us. Biting Bella is out of the question for obvious reasons. I would kill her with that.
The venom burns painfully in my palm and I hiss through my teeth, cursing myself for not having chosen to ruin a pillow. This is probably going to leave a scar. Fuck, this is definitely going to leave a scar.
"Ye…arr…ye…s?" I whimper sitting up in the bed, cradling my hand against my chest.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No…oh fuck that hurts like crap."
"Give me your hand, Alice."
"No, it's embarrassing. How stupid do you have to be to bite yourself?"
She takes my hand, ignoring my halfhearted protest. Her warm breath reduces the pain when she blows it over the crimson red half-moon my teeth left in my marble skin.
"I'm sorry that you hurt yourself. Is it very painful?"
I nod my head and she leans forward planting a soft, tender kiss over my palm before she wraps a blanket over her naked body, pulling me against her chest afterwards.
"You and I…we belong together, don't we?"
"Forever," I whisper back, resting my head against her shoulder while the aching pain in my hand finally subsides completely. She plays with the messy curls of my hair, twisting her fingers around them until a low snoring noise reaches my ears.
How can she fall asleep now? Humans are weird; there is no point in denying that. For a moment I consider waking her up. There is still so much that I need to tell her, that we need to talk about but when she murmurs my name in her dream I decide against it. We can talk when she wakes up in the morning. After all, tomorrow will be the beginning of our forever.
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