A/N: This is being written for no other reason than I simply wanted to write Jasper/Bella. It grew and had babies in my brain. A little angst, a little drama, a little smut. It'll be pretty short, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
Set after Breaking Dawn, after Bella becomes a vampire. For the purposes of this story, the child-who-shall-not-be-named does not exist, Bella and Edward were never married, and Jacob was never anything more than just a friend.
Special thanks to EtheHunter for being my beta, my pre-reader, and my friend. I have mad love for her. Seriously, some days I think I'd be in a straight jacket without her.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd probably have more money.
We never meant for things to get so far out of hand. I suppose, though, no one ever really planned such things. The discovery of our little secret had been accidental. Quite literally, we stumbled upon it.
The family was hunting, myself included, one sunny afternoon. We'd each gone separate directions in search of our prey. I'd found a wild hog, almost as big as my old beat-up truck – which Rosalie had just finished restoring to its former glory. I fed until its blood made me sluggish, buried him, and went in search of the rest of the family.
I flew through trees, over a hill, and came to a clearing. The sight before me, stopped me dead in my tracks just as Jasper broke through the other side of the clearing. I was only physically aware of Jasper's presence, my eyes were locked on Emmett and his latest kill.
The bear had lost, of course, but not before eating Emmett's pants for dinner.
I snickered, trying to cover it quickly with my hand, but I didn't have much luck. Jasper laughed loudly and without embarrassment. Emmett grunted, lifting his mouth briefly from his meal. I laughed again, the sound bubbling out without containment.
"Nice ass, Emmett," Jasper commented between chuckles.
Emmett grunted again and then grinned before shaking his bottom – which was sparkling like a brand new diamond in the afternoon sun. I cackled wildly. "It's so shiny."
"Shut up," Emmett said, unable to hold back a laugh of his own. "Like your ass don't shine."
Jasper stepped closer, as did I, and before we knew anything had happened, we were all rolling on the ground, laughing so hard I was thankful I didn't need to breathe. Emmett's bear had been forgotten. Thankfully, hours later, we remembered to bury him.
The rest of the family came in at some point, all of them falling victim to our fit of laughter as well. It wasn't until later that evening that we realized something amiss about it. I'd known Jasper was projecting, but I hadn't realized that it normally wasn't that powerful.
The best we could figure was that Jasper's gift had been amplified by my shield. We were fortunate in that there were no humans or other vampires within a thirty mile radius. Carlisle and Esme had both been at least that far away and said they'd began laughing just as if it had been them in the field.
Later on we toyed with it, discovering that if the other family members were not protected by my shield then they weren't subjected to whatever emotion Jasper happened to be projecting. Useful tool in times of crisis, I supposed. At least that's what Edward had said. But really, we used it more for laughs than anything else. Especially on Emmett.
I often wondered why we had never noticed it before. Perhaps it had happened prior to the Emmett incident, but we didn't recognize it for what it was.
Jasper and I had always been drawn to each other in a way. I'd always assumed it had something to do with his ability to sense emotions and my ability to shield. Before we figured things out, I'd thought my shield assisted in blocking others emotions from him, making more of what he felt his own.
I wouldn't fault him for that. I mean, who would? I couldn't imagine having to feel what everyone else felt at any given point in the day. Heaven knows, especially in the first year of my undead life, I was a blur of conflicting and flickering emotions, never settling on one for more than a few moments.
It wasn't until later, after Jasper slipped and took the life of a kindergarten teacher in Maine, that I discovered it had nothing to do with me blocking the others emotions from him. I struggled too, maybe not as much as Jasper. Never as much as Jasper, considering his history and ability.
I knew about expectations; the expectations of others. Edward had expected feeding from animals for me would be as simple as breathing. It was so far from easy. I was only a week old when I had my first slip. But Edward's expectations had been so high for me. So damn high. I didn't need to feel his emotions to read the disappointment in the lines of his face.
I'd gotten pretty good at reading the family and their moods. Vampires were the best at revealing no outward emotion if they didn't want to. But there was always something that gave them away.
Carlisle was the hardest, and it was always in the lift of his left eyebrow. The higher it was, the more amused he was. The lower it drifted signaled the depth of his disappointment or concern. Esme would smile this tiny smile that crinkled the corners of her mouth when she was sad or upset. Rosalie didn't much hide her emotions. Emmett tried, but they were always there in his eyes.
Edward hid them in his back, which would be ramrod straight, and in the tightness of his jaw. Alice would smile, big and huge and cheerful, flitting around like she hadn't a care in the world. But her shoulders would turn inward, her eyes would glaze slightly, losing their mirth and shine. I think some days, letting her down hurt the most.
Jasper had to deal with those things on an entirely different level. One I knew I'd never be able to fully comprehend. But he knew, after a slip, he could come to me without judgment. He punished himself enough, more than enough. He'd feel nothing but love and support from me. I understood it all too well.
And so we'd sit together. Mostly in silence. Sometimes in the trees, or by the lake, but always in an emotionally clean environment. I'd block everyone else from him, and the stiffness in his shoulders would decrease slightly, the line between his brows would disappear. And we'd just breathe. Breathe.
"Bella," he'd say, before leaving to join Alice and the family back at the house.
One word spoke the thousands that didn't need to be expressed between us. I'd smile and nod, acknowledging them all with my silence, and close my eyes to wait until Edward joined me in my solitude.
He always smelled of Alice when he returned. I understood his need to comfort her, as I did Jasper, and yet it was so completely different. It hurt her to see what Jasper would do and not always be able to stop it. It hurt her to know and yet be so utterly helpless.
Edward felt the same when the situation was reversed. When it was me who'd slipped. Alice always blamed herself, though it was never her fault. They didn't want to acknowledge it was just who we were.
"How's Alice?" I'd ask and Edward would shrug. She's fine. Sad, disappointed, angry, but she'll be okay, he didn't say. I knew that already. It was why Jasper and I needed time alone after the death of an innocent.
"I don't think we'll have to move yet," Edward said. Yet, being the key word. They were waiting for my next slip. I'd smile and lean my head on Edward's shoulder. No matter how much they said they believed it, none of them ever really understood that it was always an accident, not completely at least.
The next time Jasper's gift and mine accidentally mingled was a little less... innocent.
Most of the family was out hunting, with the exception of Esme and Carlisle – who had gone to visit the Denali's. Jasper and I guarded the house – which we always did in sets of two, just in case.
Jasper's eyes were a murky brown, almost having reached their golden color once again. Mine were still bright and red. We'd had to move again. Because of me, no one would say aloud. Montana was beautiful, all mountains and trees, lakes and fish, and wildlife galore.
I liked the new house though. The room facing the East was full of windows, and the sun streamed through without constraint, casting prisms of color about the room like tiny rainbows. I loved this room, and the smell of heat and wood and freshly mowed grass. Even the slight stench of new varnish that I knew would fade given time.
I think that Edward was trying out a new form of punishment. Either that or he was just so disgusted with me, he couldn't bring himself to touch me at all.
I was frustrated, and disappointed in myself, soaked in guilt over the life of the man with the salt and pepper hair and ambrosia for blood. On top of all that, I was horny, and Edward couldn't be bothered to have sex with me. I was angry, and frustrated, and angry, and horny.
It was only a matter of time before Jasper caught whiff of my emotions. I struggled to hide them, to shield them and keep them contained, but in the end I failed. I knew he'd be drawn to them, as he so often was when it came to my emotions, especially when I was strung so tight I could burst.
Silently, he stalked into the room. I didn't need to see him; my eyes were closed. I could feel him. I moaned. Jasper's answering groan had my back arching and my nipples drawing so tight they hurt. From the tenor of his emotions, I thought, maybe Alice was holding out on him too.
He never had to come any closer than the doorway. The combination of our gifts allowed for the distance required to satisfy both our needs and keep it as impersonal as possible for such a thing.
Though we'd discovered how our gifts worked when combined, we had never even attempted to do this before. I'll never say I hadn't thought it though, especially when Edward was feeling particularly...prudish.
Jasper's gift ran through me, tickling beneath my skin before dancing out through my toes and fingers. I amplified it and sent it back a hundred fold, awaiting its return to me. I cried out as it did, not knowing for certain whether I was actually touching myself. It sure felt like I had, but it was more likely the power of Jasper's gift.
Lights and sounds were tossed together, blended to create a perfect, blinding bliss. Jasper gasped and then grunted as we both found our release. The explosion of it was enough to almost make me feel numb. I smiled and melted into the wicker chair, boneless.
"Bella, I –"
"Jasper," I interrupted, beyond thoughts, beyond worrying or thinking or over analyzing. I'd do that later. "Shhh."
I felt his emotions briefly, a flutter of relief, humor, the underlying guilt, but somehow I knew he smiled before leaving the room. We didn't need to say the words to know that what we'd just done was wrong and couldn't happen again. Welcome and needed, and much appreciated at the time; there was no way we could let it happen again.
Too bad accidents happened all the time.
A/N: So there you have chapter one. Like I said before, this won't be extremely long, a few chapters at most. But I hope you enjoy the ride. Drop a line and leave me your thoughts. Do you want me to continue? Do you think it's worth it?
Until next time... kisses.