Winnie the Pooh and the Missing Honey

One morning the sun rose and shone brightly over the 100 acre wood, happy because all the clouds had flown away. Down on the ground, Winnie the Pooh woke up in bed.

He had a funny empty feeling inside of him, which seemed to start at his tummy and trickle all the way down to his toes.

"I know what that means," he said, half to himself and half to a butterfly which had landed on the window sill. "It means that I'm hungry. And if I'm hungry it must be time for breakfast. And that means time for honey!"

The butterfly, not much caring for honey, flapped its wings and flew out of the window to find a nice flower to sit on. Winnie the Pooh rolled out of bed then remembered that he needed to do his early morning exercises. "The question is," Pooh said to himself, "are they before breakfast early morning exercises or after breakfast early morning exercises?"

He decided that after breakfast was a lot more convenient and made more sense.

"Because," he said, "There isn't any point in exercise before breakfast as there isn't anything to exercise off. But if you exercise after breakfast, you can exercise breakfast off."

Then he wondered, what was the point in eating breakfast if you were going to exercise it off anyway? So he added quickly "But I'm probably wrong."

Pooh stumped off into the kitchen to find some breakfast.

He pulled a stool up to the cupboard and opened it. He put his paw inside and took out a big jar. It had 'HUNNY' written on it. "So that I know it's not cheese," said Pooh. "I had an uncle who once started eating a jar of honey that turned out to be cheese. It's the same colour you know."

But there wasn't cheese in it. There wasn't, in fact, any honey in it either.

"Perhaps there's some right at the bottom," said Pooh thoughtfully, and stuck his tongue right in the jar to lick around the bottom. It was entirely empty. "I'm sure I have a full jar in here somewhere," said Pooh.

Pooh took out another jar, and tried that one instead. There wasn't any honey in that one either. Or the next one. Or the next!

After a few minutes of trying and licking without success, "Bother!" said Pooh. "I don't seem to have any honey left, and I'm very hungry. Bother, bother, bother!"

Then he thought, "I know, I'll go and ask Piglet to invite me to breakfast."

So he plodded through the lovely morning to Piglet's house (Piglet lived under Trespassers W). He knocked on the door, and Piglet opened it.

"Hello, Pooh!" squeaked Piglet. "Isn't it a lovely morning?"

"Yes, I suppose it is," said Pooh. "I was wondering if you could invite me to breakfast."

"Of course, Pooh," Piglet replied, "but I'm afraid I've only got haycorns."

"Oh," said Pooh, "I'm not very fond of haycorns."

"That's a shame," said Piglet, "Haycorns are my favourite."

"Well, goodbye Piglet," said Pooh.

"Goodbye, Pooh!" Piglet replied.

Pooh trudged on, thinking about missing honeypots, and who might have some honey. He sat down on a big tree stump, and a fly buzzed around his nose.

"Eeyore only likes thistles, so he won't have any honey. Tigger only eats extract of malt, so he won't have any either. Kanga and Roo don't eat honey, Owl doesn't like honey, and I'm afraid I ate all of Rabbit's. Bother!" he said. "Oh dear," he added, as his stomach gave a large rumble.

Then he began to sing a little complaining song.

"It's really rather bad

And it makes me feel quite sad

That when I'd like some honey

There's none to be had!

Eeyore only likes thistles

And Tigger just eats malt

Piglet only has haycorns


The last 'bother' was because he couldn't think of anything to rhyme with 'malt' other than 'salt', and that didn't fit.

A bluetit twittered in the copse of trees behind him. Pooh sighed and began to plod slowly home. By the way the sun was shining in the sky he could tell it was almost time for a little something. The trouble was, there wasn't any something to be had.

"I can't not have breakfast. And what about lunch? And tea? And supper? Oh bother, what am I to do?" He sat down again on a log, and thought.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. "Christopher Robin! He'll know what to do." He stood up, brushed off the gorse prickles, and began to walk to the part of the wood where Christopher Robin lived. He hadn't gone very far when he saw someone coming around a bend in the path ahead. It was Christopher Robin.

"Christopher Robin," called Pooh.

"Good morning, Pooh," said Christopher Robin.

"Christopher Robin, I was wondering if you might be able to help me. You see, I'm having a bit of a problem."

"Why, Pooh, whatever is the matter?" asked Christopher Robin.

"Well, it's like this," began Pooh. "I got up this morning and looked in my cupboard for some honey, but there wasn't any there. So now I've had no breakfast, and very soon I won't have had any lunch either. Then I supposed, Christopher Robin might know what to do. I just supposed, you know, thinking about honey, and supposing."

Christopher Robin's face lit up, and he began to laugh.

"I don't see what's so funny about that," said Pooh, "but then again, I am a bear of very little brain."

"Oh, Pooh," Christopher Robin replied, "You left your full honey pot with me at the picnic we had yesterday!"

"Why," said Pooh, "so I did. How curious that I should forget."

"Come home with me, and we'll eat breakfast together," said Christopher Robin.

"I'd love to," said Pooh, "thank you very much."

They both turned back to walk down the path. The sun was shining, and a blackbird was singing from a thicket.

"Oh Pooh, I do love you."

"So do I," replied Pooh.

"Silly old bear," said Christopher Robin lovingly.

The End :)