"Warning: contains Abuse and violence. Possibly lemons in future chapters.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, any of its plot or its characters.
"What about Seth?"
I stiffened as I heard my name. I was sitting on a chair in the school's too-small library, doing homework. I recognized the voice and the tone: Paul.
"What about him?" That was Jared's voice, sounding distracted.
"Do you think he'll ever "join" us?"
"Not on your life." I thought.
Jared snorted. "Not likely. He's the runt of the Clearwater clan. A three year-old could beat him up."
I was the smallest kid in my school. A tough gig, seeing how most of the kids there could hold their own at any weight lifting competition. I often wondered whether our ancestors had been exposed to some kind of radioactive substance that made them grow freakishly huge.
The vast differences in size might have been painful for a kid who was five-three in a school where the average height was five-seven, but I made up for it with my speed. I could outrun nearly anyone. But I still would have traded my running ability for a few extra pounds of muscle and maybe a three inch growth spurt in a heartbeat.
You would have thought that I would be pretty big, considering my family. My brother Sam was gigantic and my sister Leah was, well, let's just say that she could kick just about anyone's butt. She liked to practice on mine when I annoyed her, when she could catch me.
But I was small and there was nothing I could do about it. I was never bullied, thanks to the fact that I lived with my brother and he was known to blacken eyes for less than a petty insult.
Me and Leah lived with Sam and his wife Emily. My mom and dad had died in a car wreck nearly three years ago so Sam got stuck with us. It still hurt to think of them, sometimes, so I tried not to.
It was hard to ignore what other people wouldn't.
I would hear them sometimes, whispering to each other: "Poor boy, it's a wonder that he lived through birth," Or some other kind of crap.
"Why do you think that he isn't like the rest of them? Sam and Leah are one of us." That was Embry, or it might have been Quil.
Sam and Leah were part of some kind of group that only a select few could join, led by Jacob Black who was the closest thing La Push had to a president. Basically, he was the chief and what he said, went.
I didn't know why he was treated that way and whenever I asked Sam about it he would look at me with a really weird expression and say the exact same thing my dad used to say when Sam and then Leah was acting freaky.
"You'll understand someday, Seth," he would say, trying not to sound uncomfortable. "And if you don't, well, I'll explain it to you." After saying this, Sam and Leah would leave together to meet up with Paul, Jacob, Jared, Quil, Embry, and other idiots who were hyped up on steroids. I didn't think there were others, but there might have been and I wouldn't have known. Sam and Leah never talked about those meetings and they didn't like being asked.
They would often leave me and Emily alone for hours while they ran off to join their pals in some kind of get-together. Sometimes they wouldn't be back until the next day, looking like they had slept outside. I didn't know what they were up to and I honestly didn't care. I hated Jacob; he was always looking at me and laughing as if at some kind of private joke. I hated Paul, he was a jerk and a pain in the rear, and I hated Jared because he had been a bully before he joined up with Jacob and company. Then Jacob had straightened him out. That was the only good thing he ever did.
Maybe it was just a natural part of who I was. Hating. It seemed to be the thing I did best. I hated my size, I hated my physical weakness, I even hated my natural intelligence.
I wasn't really sure how I felt about Quil and Embry. All I knew was that they had been friends with Jacob up until he started up his little gang. When he did, he ignored them, just like he did everyone who wasn't in his club. Then they joined up with him, Embry first and then Quil later and it was as if they had never broken up.
I heard the rustle of cloth as someone behind the bookcase shrugged.
"Who knows? Maybe it's a quirk in his DNA like Jacob's dad." Silence.
Then there was a sad chuckle I recognized as Embry's. "Or lack thereof" he said.
Silence again. Then Paul spoke, loud enough for even those at the other tables who hadn't been listening in to look up. "Who cares? He's not one of us, and he never will be."
There was hissed chorus of 'shut up' from his companions and he fell silent.
I heard them begin to move towards the exit as they found whatever they had been looking for. Looking up just in time to see them walk out the door towards the checkout line, I tried not to glare. They always seemed to catch you at it, like they had eyes on the back of their heads.
They were all dressed in light, cheap clothes and only a few of them wore shoes. They all had cropped black hair and russet skin like mine, albeit my haircut made me look like a six year old who had taken scissors to his head on a rainy day.
I began to write again, wishing I had never come here in the first place.
"Hey Seth." said a voice, followed by the sound of someone sitting down across from me.
"Hey, Kim." I muttered, not looking up.
Kim was the only girlfriend I had ever had. Or she was the closest thing to a girlfriend I could get, I could never figure out which. She talked too much and whined and gossiped. But she was a good friend when she wasn't talking my ear off.
There were a few moments of silence while I wrote.
"Are you busy?" She finally said.
"What does it look like?" I asked, regretting the sharpness of my tone immediately. It wasn't her fault that I was short and happened to come from a family that was known for its size. Or that I was in a bad mood.
"Like you're reading the same paragraph over and over." She didn't sound hurt. She must have seen Jacob's underlings leave the library and guessed how that would affect me. Or it just meant she wanted something from me. My guess would be with the latter.
I chuckled and looked up. She was dressed in a really girly shirt, pink with rhinestones on the front and along the sleeves. Her braces twinkled in the late afternoon sun as she spoke again. "So how's Leah?" She asked, not sounding as if she cared.
"Same," I said, looking down again and realizing I had gone two paragraphs over what the minimum for the paper was.
No need to overdo it, I thought as I began to collect the papers and books I had checked out, don't want to get an A+. I was determined to stay out of the smart group, I was teased enough about my size without getting called a nerd too.
"There's a new movie out, Gunshock, or something," Kim said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. I could tell she had something she wanted to ask me since the moment she had seen me. She was so incredibly unsubtle; it was almost an insult if she managed to hide her real motive from you.
I knew she wanted me to ask her out, despite the nonchalant way she was doing it, so I decided to do away with hours of pointless conversation as she tried to wheedle a 'yes' from me.
"Do you want to see it?" I asked, putting the last of my school junk into my bag and looking at her.
She beamed and nodded. She made my life that much easier by being so predictable.
I stood and she followed suit. It was always easier to stay around her when I remembered that she was shorter than me.
"See you tonight," She said, not bothering to make it seem like she hadn't come into the library without the express intention of getting me to take her to the movies.
"Sure, sure," I said, using the phrase that Sam had been saying lately.
I left the library and walked to Emily's car, not caring that Paul and Jared were watching me and whispering to each other as I walked.
The movie sucked. Not that I watched any of it, I began to feel sick almost as soon as we sat down. But it sounded like it sucked and I was a pretty good judge of such things. When the movie ended I all but dragged Kim out of the movie theater feeling like I was going to throw up. Thankfully Sam was already waiting for us in front of the theater.
After taking just one look at me he sped up and drove Kim home. I didn't complain, though, and I was mildly pleased with that fact.
"Are you okay?" Kim asked when we reached her house. Not that she really cared. She only cared about herself and makeup.
I felt something start to build up in me, like a volcano. She was probably just trying to soften me up for some other thing she wanted from me. I felt anger pulse through me, trying to rip me apart. It felt like it was going to just blow me up.
But then a small voice at the back of my head, one that I had never heard before, began to talk. Get a grip, it said, don't act like a maniac just because she wanted to make sure you were okay. The voice was calm, cool, and soothing, like a wet rag was being pressed to my forehead. I listened; it felt like it was the smart thing to do.
"I'm fine." I finally snapped. She scowled, having missed the expression that I had on my face, and got out of the car without saying anything, walking around the front.
I felt a strange urge to get out of the car and punch her, make her hurt for cheating on me.
Wait a minute, said the voice, she's cheating on you? Why do you care? You know that she can't get another boyfriend; you're just looking for an excuse to be mad at her.
It was true, Kim couldn't get another boyfriend until her braces came off and that wasn't for another year. Everyone knew that braces were geeky.
Now then, the voice continued, get back in the car and listen to Sam.
After she got into the house Sam sped off in the general direction of his house. I was feeling sicker by the minute and even though Sam was driving like a demon, I felt I was not going to make it home before I had to throw up.
Sam's cell phone rang and I could recognize the voice on the other side of the line, it was no other than Jacob Black. Wait a minute, since when was my hearing so good?
"I got your message, are you sure Sam? He wasn't showing any of the warning signs"
"I'm almost certain, it came all of the sudden, the anger, he looked like he was ready to bite the head off his girlfriend."
"Ok Sam, get him in the woods, we'll find you."
"Sure boss." After the short exchange they both hung up. If it wasn't for the fact that I felt like crap, I would've made fun of Sam for calling that idiot "boss".
I felt a huge tremor rush through me and threw up all over the dashboard. I staggered out of the car, racing for the woods and throwing up periodically.
I reached the trees and collapsed, panting, on the forest floor. My stomach hurt, like someone had punched me and it felt like my gut was full of worms, writhing inside me, shifting; then my chest hurt, like I was running out of air. My shoulders were next, followed by closely by my butt and my arms, hurting wretchedly. And then my legs followed suit, feeling like they were on fire, every muscle being pulled.
Then my head had all the blood rushing into it as I was bombarded by heat, burning, twisting heat that made me feel like I was being thrown into a bed of lava. I was going to explode.
And I did.
Into a huge wolf.
I knew only pain and darkness. Then I slept as a huge Sandy wolf on the forest floor. I didn't hear the others come around me and drag me off. Didn't hear the minds that probed mine, or the gentle nudges that two wolves, one black, one gray, gave me. I didn't feel the shock of one of them as his entire world stopped revolving around himself and focused on a new point.
I didn't see the longing that flooded his mind that every other werewolf in the La Push cult did. Desire for my body beneath his, perfectly fitting into his shape like two pieces that were made for each other, my body arching as I screamed one name as he thrust into me again and again and again.