SM owns….bet you knew that already.
Thank you – Graymatters, Cullen Confection, Sweet Poetic Justice and Butterfly Betty Cullen
Inspiration: Parachute – by Train
I wrote this for a contest I failed to enter. This story was originally named "Parachute" but I changed the name of the story to "Let Me Be Your Parachute" in order to avoid any conflict with another AWESOME story called "Parachute". Please forgive any inconveniences...
I took a deep breath as I turned off the car. I looked at the card I held in my hand - Eva Whitney Attorney At Law. A co-worker had given it to me when she found me crying at my desk. I had finally had enough and this afternoon I sat and talked to Ms. Whitney and learned my options. I glanced over at the papers sitting on the seat next to me. Now I just needed to go in and ask Edward to sign. Just tell him that I needed a break. I was so fed up with the way that we push and the way we pull at each other.
It's been two years since he's done anything romantic for me. I have asked for it. I have sent him websites with suggestions, I have tried to sext him and I have begged him to make me a priority. He didn't even notice when I quit trying. I never thought that I would need a break. I never thought I would want to be called beautiful and angel. I miss those things. I miss being noticed, I miss the life we had.
I reached over to pick up the separation papers in the seat beside me. I remembered the first time I noticed I was drowning. My ex-boyfriend had called and begun to harass me. I wanted Edward to stand up for me. I wanted him to be angry. I needed him to wash the words away to rain down on me and take away the pain. He hugged me when I cried, but told me to get over it. There was no coming to my rescue. He was too busy. All he did was make me feel worse.
It was amazing to me how so many years of our life could be reduced to so few pages. I thumbed through each section. God, I didn't want this. I just wanted the man who used to hold me up and wouldn't let me hit the ground.
It takes one piece of paper to marry someone. I remembered that day. His first words to me were "You're beautiful." I couldn't remember the last time that he said those words to me. I wasn't vain, but every girl needs to hear it once in a while.
I put my head back on the head rest. I thought about the first time that we drove into this parking deck. We had just signed the papers to purchase the apartment. We were giddy. We ran to the elevator and Edward pressed the number our floor. When the bell rang announcing our arrival at our floor, he picked me up and carried me over the threshold. He had his sister come in and decorate the entire place with candles, dinner for two was spread out on a blanket in what would be the dining room, and there was a fire burning in the fireplace. He made love to me that night, so soft until the end when I felt his desire to own me build and he pushed into me with all his strength. We christened the rug in front of the fire twice that night and he held me as we laid there the entire night, telling each other our dreams, thoughts, wants and desires. Now he just goes to sleep or checks his email while I lay there, wondering what happened to our marriage.
What would it take to get back? I can't do it myself –he has to try too. But I don't think he is going to try. I got out of the car and was surprised to see his Volvo parked in his normal spot. I thought I would be home first. I just needed to steel myself, my resolve. I had been rehearsing the conversation in my head. He will probably be thankful. He can focus on work.
I put my hand on his car. I remembered the day he picked this car. He was a little boy in a candy shop. His boss had given him a promotion and a pay raise. He traded in an old Honda Accord with almost 300,000 miles on it. We had named the Accord Stella. If Stella wouldn't crank, which happened often, he would scream at her like Marlon Brando, "Stelllllllllaaaaa!" It was shortly after he purchased the Volvo that work seemed to become a priority.
Edward wasn't cheating on me. I knew that in my heart. But I needed more. I needed to feel like he needed me. I went to counseling, he tried to go, but he would never tell the boss no when he would work late.
Last year, I surprised him at his office only dressed in a trench coat. He was there alone. He made love to me on his desk and told me how much he loved me. I thought about doing it again, but I wanted him to do something for me. I know I am the most selfish animal on the planet, but all I am doing is staying angry.
I held the papers tight in my hand, causing them to wrinkle. I draped my coat over to hide them, knowing I needed a minute to collect myself. My palms were sweaty. I didn't believe in this, but I didn't know what else to do to make him realize I was serious. My cell rang. It was him.
"Hey, where are you?" he asked me.
"I just pulled up at home. Do you need me to get something?" I was secretly hoped he wanted something from the store to put off this talk.
"No, I just wanted to know when you would be home. I'm here. I wanted to talk to you," he said in a whisper.
Fear swept over me. Perhaps he was going to suggest the same thing.
"I'll be up in a few minutes. I'm heading to the elevator, so I won't have a signal," I said.
"Ok. See you in a few." I heard him sigh and hang up.
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, but it didn't help. I pressed the up arrow and I waited. I wondered if he finished the big project he had been working on at work for the last three months. I knew all about the hospital's plans to hire two surgeons for the new ward. He barely knew the name of the firm I work for.
The doors of the elevator opened and I could feel myself start to tremble. I wanted to scream pay attention to me! I had actually tried that before, but it only worked for a day or two. The hallway was silent. I didn't want this to be the last time I entered this apartment as Mrs. Edward Cullen. I placed my forehead against the door. I just want to wake up and be excited again. What would it take?
I put my hand on the door knob and I felt him turn it from the inside. My eyes were filled with tears as he opened the door. Would he ever know how much this hurt?
"Bella, you're home," Edward said softly.
I still had not looked up. He was standing in the doorway. I lifted my head and met his eyes. He would know now I had been crying. He was dressed in black slacks with a white button down shirt tucked in to the waistband. He held his arms out and stepped toward me. Whatever he planned to say he didn't. He held me in the hallway with my forehead resting on his chest. My arms were tucked against him and the papers crushed between us as he bent to whisper "shhhhh" in my ear.
He leaned back and I looked up at him. His eyes were studied me.
"I have something for you," he said. "Come inside." He grabbed my left hand,. the one with the ring I was about to take off. He held the tips of my fingers and I watched our fingers intertwine. I couldn't remember the last time we held hands. I felt that familiar long lost-tingle and I let out a small gasp. I looked back at him and he was asking me if I was coming with him, using only his eyes.
I stepped over the threshold, turning to put my coat and those papers that weighed a ton on the desk at the entrance. But I couldn't. It was covered in candles. I turned to see every surface in the entire living room covered in candles. The mantle, the side tables, the bar and the desk—all glowing. I gasped again. I stepped forward, taking in each area of the room, still holding his hand, still holding my coat, still holding the papers. The room reminded me of our first night here. I noticed the coffee table was missing. You could see our rug. We always called it our rug after that first night.
I gasped again as I looked into the dining room. Across the table was a candelabra lit and food was spread out on the table. I was shocked, surprised, taken aback. I turned to him to ask the first of a million questions that ran through my mind. He put his finger to my lips before the first sound came out.
"I know it's late. I know I should have been doing this all along. Bella, I want to start again. Just like that first day we were here."
I slowly shook my head no. I knew it would be easy to get wrapped up in all that he did, but that he would forget again, and my heart couldn't take it one more time. "I can't," I whispered. "It's just too late this time. I can't forget." I started to lift my coat to show him the papers. He just lifted the coat and papers out of my hands together and put them on the floor.
"No, no, no. Don't say that. It's not. I promise. Don't you remember how it feels to wake up excited? Don't you remember?" He was holding both of my hands now.
"Yes, Edward I do, but I also remember how you pushed me away how you pulled work in to replace me. I don't think you can change that with a few candles." My heart was breaking seeing this last ditch effort, couldn't he have done this last week?
"Bella, I know what I have done. Let me take away the yesterdays. You gotta give me a chance. God, just open up to me again."
"It really isn't that easy. You make this seem like I can forget what has happened. I can't do that. Edward, you've left me aching and empty for so long."
We walked together into the living room. I sat on the couch and put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. He knelt on the floor in front of me.
"Edward, I have been in the marriage by myself for almost two years. You can't expect it to all be okay in one night of candles and dinner," I whispered hoarsely.
"It's not that Bella, I am promising you a change. I am promising you that I want to change the way I push you away. I want to change the way life pulls me away. "
"You think taking a few hours off here and there will change things? Edward you talk to me like I am second class. Imagine if you talked to your boss the way you talked to me. Imagine if you talked to your mom the way you speak to me. "
"Damn it Bella, don't give up on this life we have," he begged.
I slowly stood leaving him on the rug kneeling. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. I cringed at the taste. I finished the glass in one gulp and started to pour another. I needed liquid courage. I looked at the label on the bottle. It was the wine we drank our first night here. Good grief! I couldn't believe he remembered! I looked over to the dining room table and realized it was the exact meal we had our first night. He really was trying to start over. I walked to the table. My back was facing Edward.
"Edward, I didn't give up. I am just tired. I am tired of feeling alone even when you are here. I want someone who thinks and feels like I hung the moon, or at least tries to treat me that way." I turned my head to look at him. He was staring at me, his eyes brimmed with tears. My resolve shook.
"Bella, I will not push you away anymore. I promise." He walked up behind me. "I will not put my work in front of you, in front of us. Be my angel, save us the way you always have, one more time."
"You ask for one more time like this is the first time we have had this argument,." I said to him, still standing with my back to him.
"Bella, please." I turned so I was facing him. "My God you are so beautiful, why haven't I told you that every single day?" He asked me.
My resolve crumbled. I don't know why it was that sentence that did it. But that was it.
"Ok." I whispered.
"Wh-Yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said nodding my head. He sank to his knees again.
He wrapped his arms around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair. His hair felt so good in my fingers, so thick and luscious. I could feel his body trembling. I slowly sank to my knees with him.
I looked into his eyes. "I love being Isabella Cullen, please don't ever make me second guess that choice again," I whispered to him.
"I will never let you down." He kissed my jaw, my ear, my neck behind my ear and across my neck. His kisses were eager and desperate but so soft as if I would break.
The palm of his hand was on my cheek and his fingers across my ear and in my hair. I leaned into his hand as he continued kissing me, exposing more of my neck to him. I loved the way he focused on my neck when he kissed me.
He pulled back and looked up at me. "I am yours. I will chase it all away from now on."
I leaned toward him and kissed him on the lips. "I know you will. I know you won't let me fall again." He held out his hand as he stood up. When I reached my feet he wasted no time in sweeping me into his arm and carrying me to our rug.
He reached for a pillow from the couch, I didn't care that a $100 pillow was on the floor. I cared that he finally thought of me and got the pillow for me. He laid next to me, propping himself up with one arm. He stroked my collarbone and neck with his finger tips. "I thought I lost you today, Bella."
"You did," I admitted quietly, casting a look at the papers peeking out from under my coat against the wall.
He sighed so wearily. I sat up."What made you do this today?" I asked him
"Alice. She actually made an appointment to come talk to me. She said I was going to lose you. She said she could see it in your eyes. She said she and Jasper went through it."
A log in the fire crackled, like a sign of what I needed to do. I stood up. I heard him gasp. I walked toward the door. I bent down and grabbed the papers. I knew I needed to confess. He watched me, his eyes shifting from the papers in my grasp to my face and back again. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the wine bottle and one glass. I watched his head pull back as he saw I only had one glass.
I sat down next to him and put the papers in front of both of us. I poured the wine in the glass and set the bottle on the floor. "I saw an attorney today." He just stared at the papers. "I was going to give these to you. I just wanted you to miss me. I just wanted to mean something to you. I thought you would be better off if you didn't have to deal with me."
He started shaking his head no and I placed my finger on his lips. "But I realized as I listened to you. Our marriage is like this glass and our life is like this wine. If there is nothing in the glass, it doesn't have a purpose, but if it is full and only I am drinking from it and you are thirsty, I am cruel. But if I don't know you are thirsty, I don't know to share. So, the best purpose for this glass and this wine, is if we are both drinking from it." I offered him the glass. I watched as he would normally chug the contents, and he looked at the glass as the contents grew less. He stopped and handed me the glass. I drank the remainder of the glass of wine. "It's so much better when we share it."
I picked up the papers in front of us. The fire snapped again. God was telling me to burn those papers. I tossed the papers. As I came to rest on the rug, I was devoured by the most powerful kiss. His lips were hungry across mine. He tasted like cheap wine. His tongue was hot, I could still feel his emotions as his mouth claimed mine. I submitted to my husband's desire. He pressed against me, guiding me to lay back down, his hand behind my head until I reached the same pillow he had placed earlier.
He kept kissing me as if his life depended on it. We broke to breathe, both of us panting like teenagers. "Why don't we do that more often?" he asked me.
"I have no idea, but shame on us, because we are so good at that," I teased, which made us both smile. He brushed away the hair that had made its way across my forehead and cheek and shifted so his leg was between both of mine. I reached up and slowly started unbuttoning his shirt. I have always been fascinated by Edward's smooth body. I ran my hand across his chest and slowly pushed his shirt off his arms. He shifted so that his shirt would fall completely off. I rolled to my side so we were facing each other.
"Bella, I am so sorry."
"I know. I am too." I kissed his jaw line. I kissed his neck. I kissed across his chest. I twirled my tongue around his nipple. He hissed through is teeth. "That feels so good," he whispered. I kissed the middle of his chest down to his stomach, I found his hip and sucked lightly. I felt him raise his hips slightly, I sucked harder. I knew I was marking him. I loved his hips. I licked the spot I had just marked, he gently tugged my hair letting me know he wanted me to come back to his face. I slowly kissed my way back to his lips.
When I reached his lips, I kissed them slowly. He broke the kiss first. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? You are my temptress, my angel. You know that, you have to know that." While I had been kissing him slowly he changed our pace. He kissed my neck hard and wet. I could feel his hips moving against my legs for friction. The pressure from his kiss pushed me to lay flat on my back. He was over me on his knees and hands. "I need to worship you. Like I should have been doing every day since you said I do," he said with a hunger in his eyes that I had never seen before.
He straddled my waist and placed his hands at the seam of my button down shirt and literally pulled it open. Buttons flew off. I giggled and let out a girly scream I didn't know I was capable of. It didn't faze him. He was only tuned into my body. There was none of the klutzy romance I was used to where we would accidently bump heads, or roll onto the cell phone and ass dial someone. This was Edward being the man I needed and wanted and I could see it all over him.
He ghosted his fingers across my chest and over my plain beige bra. My mind wished I would have worn something fancy but this is honestly what I put on every day. He used both hands to release the clasp between my breast. When my breast were free from the constraints of the bra he used both of his hand and just barely traced my nipples with his fingertips. I rubbed my legs together underneath him.
He kissed my collarbone and feathered kisses over to one breast. He traced my nipple with hi tongue and circled while he gently sucked. He shifted his weight so that he and as he did I felt his rock hard cock glide past my center has he started sucking harder on one breast and kneading the other. The intensity of the sucks on my nipple had me gasping. He released my nippled and kissed across my sternum to the other side and began the same process.
He was laying half across my body and half on the floor beside me. He unfastened the button on my pants and slowly tugged on my zipper. I looked down at his face. He was looking up at me while sucking my breast and sliding his hand into my wet panties.
He moaned as he slid a hand between my wet lips. "Oh, Bella. You are so, so wet," he said as he stroked up and down with his fingers. He kissed my neck and whisper into my ear. "Is that all for me, my beautiful girl?"
"Oh yes," I said as turned to kiss his lips. We kissed deeply as he slid two fingers inside of me. He slowly started to pump his fingers into me. I met each pump with my hips. He applied gentle pressure to my clit with his thumb. I broke our kiss to slide my pants and underwear completely off. I was laying before him completely vulnerable all for him.
He slid his pants off. "I want to make love to you Bella."
"Take me Edward, right now." I begged him as I rubbed my hands over my body trying to give myself stimulation. I tugged on my nipples as he watched me. He pushed my legs apart with his knees. He spread my lips with his hand, and placed his cock at my entrance. I reached down to touch his silken shaft. I left my finger touching him and guided him into me. I felt us joining. I moaned.
He leaned onto me. "Oh Bella. So perfect. We fit so perfect." I felt him pull out and push back in I could feel the skin pulling and pushing into me. I met his thrust with my hips. I raised my knees and he sighed. He kissed my necked and picked up his tempo. He kissed me. "Open your eyes." He whispered to me.
I responded and we stared at each other as he pushed into me harder. I wrapped my legs around him as we continued to match each other thrust for thrust. "Oh God." I moaned out. I felt my muscles clench around him. "Oh Baby." I could feel him cum inside of me. He kissed me again.
He slowly rolled off of me and we laid next to each other. We chatted out stupid things about movies we wanted to see. There was no second round of making love, but we did it with our eyes and our touches and with I love yous.
I went to the bathroom and slipped on a robe and brought him lounge pants and came back to lay beside him. We snuggled and slept beside each other.
The next morning I was stiff from sleeping next to my love on the floor. After just a few moments he awoke beside me. He smiled at me. I returned the smile. "Thank you, Edward."
"No, thank you, my love."
My mind was running through so many things, when I realized something crucial, the doctors have been treating me for a condition called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome with a medication called Metformin, which makes me very fertile, in turn Edward and I have been using condoms. "Umm, Edward. We didn't use protection last night."
"Don't worry angel, we got this. I won't let us hit the ground again."
I havent decided if I am going to continue this story or not. It was orignally written as a one-shot. Let me know what you think.