Day One

It was my first day as an intern at the Arkham Asylum. Mom always hated the idea of me being around crazy people since she thought I was crazy, too. Good thing I'm a smooth-talker and convinced mom that working at the asylum wouldn't be such a big deal.

Besides, working here at Arkham has been my dream since I was a wee-teen. Dad being a con-man and all, and squandering all of mom's money...well, that was what did it for me. I just couldn't understand dad's mental process. Why did he do what he did to our family? What made him so crazy to hurt his only family?

Anyways, sorry about ranting off a bit, diary. It's a sad past I endured and though I want absolutely no recollections of my past, it is my past that is the driving motion in me. Hah, guess my Borderline Personality Disorder makes sense now.

Let's see, how shall I start writing about my day? In one word, it was intense. I mean, it was already difficult knowing that I was going to work with Gotham's craziest and most psychotic criminals, but it was harder than I thought it would be. Joan Leland, one of my colleagues I befriended, warned me about dealing with the psychotic criminals.

I don't know how she could've caught on, but she said if I had any idea on writing a book about a psychotic criminal's mind that I should just forget about it. How did she know that was exactly my plan? I mean, it was a well thought out plan. I write a legit book on the psyche of a criminal, it becomes New York's best seller, and I become a star!

Joan gave me a tour of the asylum, and I had to admit I was pretty scared.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a 5-foot 9-inch blonde, was walking through the corridors of the Arkham Asylum. She was walking behind Joan Leland who was describing to her a few of the noted criminals.

As the two ladies were walking by, many of the men howled like wolves and shouted dirty words to the two. They especially went wild at the new hot and young blonde. Even though these were psychotic criminals, Harleen blushed ever so slightly at the overwhelming attention she was receiving.

Joan introduced Harleen to the other doctors in the asylum. Joan and the other doctors started to continue walking on by with Harleen walking behind them all. She looked from left to right at all the criminals, recognizing some as Batman's enemies.

Just when the group of doctors took a turn around the corner, Harleen heard a familiar whistling coming from the other corner of the hallway. She quickly glanced and saw the group of doctors not noticing that Harleen had stopped walking with them. Harleen then slowly walked to where she heard the familiar whistling coming from. That song whomever was whistling was the tune she always heard as a little baby growing up. It was the tune of "You Are My Sunshine".

Harleen approached a dead end in the hallway and peered to her left. There, behind a large glass window, was the Joker. Harleen gasped, having seen the Joker before on television. He was the craziest man Harleen had ever seen or heard of.

Her mouth dropped at the sight of the Joker's scraggly green hair and his bare skin that wasn't damped with make-up. It was his bare skin, and she saw the grueling scars around the corners of his lips. She flinched merely looking at the scars on his face, never before seeing them looking so fresh without make-up over it. The Joker was leaning on the wall with his arms folded across his chest as if waiting for something or someone. With his back to the wall, Joker's right ankle was slightly crossed over his left ankle, the tip of his right shoe clicking to the beat of the song he was whistling.

The Joker looked through his window at Harleen. He continued whistling and just gave her a simple wink that had pierced Harleen's heart. From this point on, Harleen knew deep inside the corner of her mind that her life was distorting into something she had never imagined or dreamed of.

The Joker winked at me! I couldn't believe it with my own eyes! The maddest man alive had just winked at me, and surprisingly it didn't disgust me. It...oh, I don't know, diary. I...I wasn't disgusted. No, in fact, I almost felt...happy. All the attention I received from the inmates were flattering, but the attention I received from the Joker was...overwhelming.

And to top it all off, I received a flower from the Joker not so long ago. Right when I entered my office before heading off back home, I saw a beautiful red rose sitting right on my desk with a note attached to it. It was from the Joker, and he wanted me to visit him sometime.

I don't know what came over me, but I just couldn't resist. But at that second, I wondered just how the Joker could've put the rose on my desk. He was in surveillance cameras 24/7. There was no way he could've gotten past the guards. Yet I realized that this was THE JOKER I was talking about. He was the menace that brought Batman terrifying nightmares. This was the one man that Batman probably feared more than fear itself.

I read over the note over and over again, whispering it to myself. The Joker wanted to see me. What reason was there for me to say no when he had gone through the trouble to bring me a beautiful flower? And so I gathered up the courage with a single deep inhale, and I walked out of my office towards the Joker's cell.

I saw the armed body-guard standing in front of the Joker's cell and the guard saw me approaching. I showed him my badge, proving that I was a doctor who worked in the asylum. I made up some good lie right on the spot about why I had to see the Joker. The body guard bought it and let me in.

I entered the Joker's cell and it was purely white with absolutely no flaw. It as meticulous and perfect, just like the man who was grinning right before my very eyes.

"Well, hello there, beautiful," the Joker grinned in his rather high-pitched voice.

"Hello, Joker," Harleen gasped rather weakly. The Joker was looking right into her eyes with that evil grin of his stretching literally from ear to ear.

"Please, call me Mr. J."