AN: How's everyone been doin? Good I hope right? Ok. I got Elevate the day it came out but now I am listening to "Beautiful Christmas" by BTR for a change. But I love the new album Elevate it's awesome!
Covergirl and You're not Alone are beautiful, so is Invisible and Elevate! Love all the songs actually!
Ok so moving on, here is Chapter 6! Finally, yes!
I don't own anything at all!
WARNING: There is some cursing towards end. As much as I hate cursing, I really wanted to use them for Logan's dialogue. Don't kill me! : ( I needed too, you'll see. Just wait! Oh and this is extremely sad! So proceed with caution. Hahaha Kiddin! But still….yeah grab a box of tissues….
Oh and Thanks to all of those who reviewed this story so far….THANKS SO MUCH! You guys literally rock my world, You made my life a better thing, Thanks!
xxSmileyXd and Ireland Maslow Thanks, you guys reviewed every chapter. Now that's what I call Loyal readers/reviewers! Thanks I love you guys! I wish I could personally hug and thank you to show my gratitude! Thanks! : ) I LOVE YOU! I love all my reviewers though and readers!
Logan walked down the barren hall which led down to 2J; he was reluctant but knew he had to do this for the sake of Camille and his child. He trudged into the apartment letting the door slam behind him. He didn't care anymore, nothing mattered anymore really. He noticed his three best friends sitting around the sofa with solemn faces plastered onto their usually optimistic faces. They all glanced his way when he entered but after recognizing who it was they quickly glimpsed away.
Logan looked confusingly hopeless as he stood for an explanation of what was going on and why they were all sitting around with sincere expressions.
"Kendall, Guys. What's wrong?" his voice strained and his eyes darted frantically at the three boys, who were certainly hiding something from him nonetheless.
Kendall eyes moved down to his hands on his lap. He then glanced up to Logan with blank eyes. "Logan," he said softy. He had to tell him, he just wasn't sure how.
"What's wrong?" Logan asked with fear rising in his voice. He knew something was wrong. "Where's my baby, guys?" he blurted out suddenly. He had a horrible feeling in his queasy stomach. Something was wrong.
"Uhhh…about that. Logan. We have something to tell you." Kendall glanced nervously over at the two boys who were sitting next to him. They both nodded their heads to indicate it was time.
"Where's my baby?" Logan repeated impatiently. He was rarely impatient but right now was no time to remain patient. He felt like a restless child who was eagerly impatient for Christmas day except for this was a worried impatience not a happy impatience.
"Logan, sit down." Kendall instructed to the younger boy so when he heard the bad news he wouldn't topple over in grief and possibly shock.
"Kendall, tell me!" Logan commanded using his dad voice, which he had learned from being a father to his baby girl for seven months.
"No," Kendall insisted. "Not till you sit down." He kept a steady stare at Logan showing him who was boss. He had the leader bossy type of personality ever since he was born and it had gotten worse when he realized he was the oldest of the four boys making him seem it was only fair that he would be their leader.
"Kendall," Logan warned raising his voice but then after seeing the glare he was receiving from the leader, slowly plodded over to the couch unwillingly.
"Tell me now." Logan demanded. He tried to look brave but in reality he was as nervous as a child when he's going to the doctors for the first time after hearing scary and horrifying details form older mean children who have nothing better to do but scare helpless children.
"Ok…" Kendall hesitated, not actually sure how to break it to him. "Logan, this is gonna be truly hard for you to handle and believe me it's killing me inside that I have to break it to you…" he paused a moment. "But here goes….Logan, Lily Rose didn't make it. I'm incredibly sorry bro." Kendall's eyes were limp and lifeless because just telling his best friend, who he had known for his whole life, was killing him inside and he somehow knew he was going to take it hard.
"We are all incredibly sorry." James admitted, while Carlos nodded his head in agreement.
"What?" Logan asked ready to collapse into tears and have a major breakdown.
"She didn't make it. Logan buddy." James said again. Kendall and Carlos nodded their heads meekly.
"No…She did. She made it. Where is she?" Logan screamed at the top of his lungs. He hated them why were they teasing him? Did they think this was funny and amusing? Well, it wasn't.
"Logan. Man, calm down and relax. Listen to us, it's true but we will help you every step of the way. We are here for you." Kendall reassured.
"Shut up! SHUT UP YOU GUYS! She didn't die Kendall! Just shut up your fucking mouth. Ok. Keep it shut and don't talk about my baby" Logan shot back at Kendall with his cheeks flaming up in anger. "LAIRS!" He shrieked nearly blowing their eardrums out while doing so. "Dammit" Logan spat out, shocking the three boys. They sat there terrified was this the real Logan? He never cursed even in the worse situation.
"Logan, we are not lying." Kendall said, his voice cracking in the process. He hated the fact that Logan did not believe them. Would they ever lie to him of such stuff?
"Keep your ugly mouth shut Kendall Donald Knight!" Logan yelled in anger, where was Kendall going to go with this? "My baby is still alive, guys." Logan assured them but deep down he was sure at all. In fact he doubted himself entirely but he couldn't let them know.
Carlos received a look from Kendall that told him to tell him so he blurted it out, "Logan, we had her funeral yesterday. You missed it because you ran away. Away from Camille, away from you baby girl and away from your life. We had it yesterday night. I am sorry." Carlos said as he shot a sympathetic look Logan's way. His eyes were filled with pity for the loss of the boy. He didn't know exactly how he felt but he could imagine the pain he was having over the loss of his baby he loved dearly.
Logan sat there in utter disbelief, his eyes were listless and his skin suddenly went pale. He slowly stood up from the sofa, his knees shaking so badly that it's a wonder that he was able to stand on them without collapsing to the floor. His eyes quickly flooded up with tears and he felt chocked, making it merely impossible to speak even if he wanted to though he didn't. He wanted to fall off the world and die or…maybe be run over by the largest truck in the world, putting his misery aside for ever.
Logan sank to the floor slowly and buried his head into his hands, the only place where he could find pure solitude. He was heart wrenched. Warm salty tears flowed out of his brown delicate eyes like a waterfall. He grasped his heart painfully as he remembered the precious baby's face smiling at him. His head was revolving around in circles. He felt his heart rate increase and it steadily increased as he let more heart-breaking tears out sending him into hyperventilation. His was breathing so rapidly that it was quite unhealthy. But why should he care? He didn't.
Kendall darted up from the sofa to comfort the boy who was curled up on the floor, weeping to himself knowing that his life was over.
"Logan" he whispered with concern in his voice, "Logan, it is okay. Trust me. You'll be fine." Kendall stroked the boy's arm, hoping and praying he would trust him. "Logan, she's safe now. She's in God's arms where she will be protected forever now. Logan, please talk to me." Kendall prayed that Logan would mumble something; anything even if it was the meanest thing on earth he would have been pleased. Kendall knew he deserved it, what were they thinking when they held the funeral without the father of the child. Logan loved this child more than anything in the entire world. Then he remembered the reason why Logan wasn't there, it was because he had ran away. Kendall didn't blame him at all though; he would have down the same to be honest. Kendall didn't care if Logan hated him for the rest of eternity as long as he knew that he was responsible for him missing the funeral.
Logan pushed Kendall's comforting off of him and threw it forcefully to the floor and stood up with shaky knees. "Where's Camille?" he asked in between sobs and gasps for air. He was choking for air.
"You broke her heart Logan, it's gonna take some amending, I fear." James told him truthfully yet pitifully.
"She hasn't stopped crying." Carlos added.
"She lost her baby then you. It's more than the strongest person can handle let alone a young girl like Camille? Why did you leave her side and your baby? If you hadn't left maybe things wouldn't have fallen apart. Just maybe. But that's only maybe. Maybe things would have not turned out for the worse only for the better. Logan, think about it. You left them when they needed you most." Kendall said finally; not trying to make him feel worse but to make him understand how important he truly was to his family. That he counted and meant more than he could ever possibly know. Make him realize that he still could fix what he had with Camille. If it wasn't too late, that is. But was it? No one knew. It was a thing only one would know after it had been done but it was likely able to work nonetheless.
Logan collapsed back to the floor, it was too much to handle. He wanted to put an end to it but how? He didn't know except for one way out. The easy way, the most taken route by many but the most heart aching for their families, who loved them dearly. He knew that was a possibility but...
"Logan, go back to Camille and comfort her, please bro. Do it for her sake." James said. Kendall and Carlos agreeing with him all the way though.
"I can't" Logan mumbled incoherently. "I…I...I" He sobbed unable to let out his words. Then the words that Kendall had said came back to him repeating in his brain. "Maybe if you stayed things wouldn't have fallen apart." Was Kendall right? Maybe he was. It didn't matter now though, everything he once had was gone. Everything. "Why...d…d….did you have it w…without m…m…e?" He whispered referring to the funeral of his child.
"Logan we are sorry. We didn't know you were returning. We are sincerely sorry, forgive us? Please?" Kendall asked. He felt horrible.
"I...I h…hate you…g…guys!" Logan screamed. "You guys had my baby's funeral without me? Why are you even my damn friends if you like to piss me off so much? Huh? Tell me." Logan shot out. "DARN YOU GUYS!" "I hate you guys to the extreme"
"We…didn't even know you were coming…b…" Kendall hesitated and turned to the other guys. "Let's leave him alone, ok? He's being a pain in the ass right now, right Logan?" Kendall asked him with a disgusted expression covering his features.
"You are soo gonna get it Kendall." Logan warned when he suddenly notice out of the corner of his eye, Lily Rose's pink blankie. She loved that thing very much. He suddenly felt tears flow out of his eyes. "Kendall, Guys, you huys are the reason my baby girl died. All because of you." Logan screamed pointing at them. He hated them very much right now.
"Us?" Kendall asked covering his chest with his hands. "We are the reason you daughter died? If anything it was you! You killed her. Why are you blaming us for something we weren't even involved in? Why? We are the ones who planned her whole funeral. Us we are the ones." He said pointing at himself and the other two next to him. "Us, not you."
"Yeah and I wasn't there. You didn't even freaking wait for me. Idiots!" Logan screamed.
"Idiots? You are the idiot. We didn't even know you were coming back for her." Kendall said scowling. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the unreasonable young teen.
"You know what? LEAVE! Get out of this house now!" Logan screeched. He picked a heavy text book off the wooden coffee table and swung it across the room; it slammed into the wooden door and hit the floor with thud. Logan watched it thud to the floor with a satisfied look. He gave Kendall the satisfied look also.
Kendall gasped. "You…I can't believe you Logan. What's wrong with you?" He said getting off the sofa.
"GET OUT!" Logan demanded showing them the door with his hands. "Now!"
"Dork. Who's being a big pain in the as…" Kendall started to say when he felt a cold slap on the arm. He swung around to see Logan standing behind him tears swelling up in his brown sad eyes. Logan then slowly walked off to the sofa to sit down.
Kendall watched him do so. "Did you slap me on the arm? You know what? Our friendship is over. O-v-e-r" he said spelling out each letter to get the new news into Logan's hard head. "Don't expect me to ever want to be your friend again. Ok. Even, Carlos and James." They both nodded their heads in agreement.
"Don't care. I don't need you, I have my…my… my pink blankie. I hate you guys." Logan screamed throwing a pillow at them but it missed since they shut the door in time. He then lay down on the couch and cried himself to sleep. One thing he held onto the whole time was the pink blankie that once belonged to his baby daughter who was now in heaven because of him. All because of him, no one else to blame, except him.
A.N. Aww darn it, I just killed off a character. A baby character! Oh no….I AM AWFUL! Poor Logie!
Sorry guys! : ( I am soo sorry if I could bring her back to life you know I would. Oh wait I can. Hmmm…no I can't. Well I can but…i…don't..want..to…
Logan cursing was fun to write but forgive my awful dirty language will you? Thank…
Oh and this story has an interesting thing ahead betcha ya didn't notice! Ahaha so…I might update later this week….wait….yeah!
Thanks for reading!
Thanks again you guys ROCK! Thank you!