How Some People Stare
Dean loves Castiel.
Always have, always will.
He lays in bed on their Sunday morning. Castiel is draped beside him snoring lightly, giving Dean a pleasant rumble. The light is dimmed, hence Castiel always makes sure the blinds are down before they go to bed. Castiel can't sleep if it's not total darkness.
He even puts a shirt over the phone, so the little yellow light remains unseen through the night.
Dean doesn't like the dark that Castiel requires.
But he also knows that Cas has his reasons, and he also knows that in gratitude Castiel always holds him extra tight at night.
The soft greenish glow of the morning light illuminates the form besides his.
He trails his eyes in awe.
He has so much love for this man.
Never once had he expected to end up with a guy. Let alone a scruffy one, with a love for old literature, with a quirky sense of humor, and no sense of style.
But then again he never expected to be loved.
He looks over the body under the dark brown sheets.
Castiel always equaled strength in Dean's mind.
He met Castiel in college.
He, himself was the loud jock, the party goer, the womanizer. That one guy everybody admired, that everybody wanted to be.
Castiel was the quiet, reserved guy, who trailed through school like a ghost, absent minded. The one nobody paid attention to.
But Dean noticed him.
And he hated him.
He hated him because he was always everything he will never be.
Dean saw through him. He admired the way that guy could wear plaid shirts and striped trousers and not give a flying fuck if they didn't "match". And if girls giggled, and guys snorted when he passed that guy didn't bat a lash at them. Because he knew who he was. Because the spaced out geek knew what he wanted in life, knew what to do with it and school, to him was just a passage.
But to kids like Dean, school was the place to give themselves a name. To get noticed.
Because Dean knew that he was never good at anything.
That he will never be anything.
He couldn't even admit to admiring him, because of all that pent up self-hatred he carried within.
That is until he found that same guy rattling equipment under the hood of a car in the same garage he worked in part-time.
And a friendship blossomed.
And Castiel showed him life, love, laughter, and after all he showed him intimacy.
And then he gave him all of that.
Dean took it in greedily, and gave as much back.
As his student he surpassed him in love.
But Castiel was always quick to catch up to him.
And today, he looked over Castiel and couldn't even remember how to hate.
He loved every bit of this guy.
He felt a little smile prickle at his lips and turned towards the languid body splayed so carelessly.
Castiel was still deep in his sleep.
He laid a hand over the hairy chest of his lover and smiled contently at the familiar prickly feeling beneath his hand.
He loved how hairy Castiel was.
Every bit of black hair on his body stood out starkly against his pale skin. He flicked a nipple on a whim, which earned him a little sleepy grunt.
Dean let himself smile freely.
He looked over the freckle next to his nub and placed a soft kiss there.
It's the little things about Cas that deserve the most attention.
Like the little puffs of air he lets out when hi sleep is disturbed, much like now.
Dean pushes down the big, warm blanket lower, exposing the abdomen.
He trails light fingers across the lines of muscle he finds there. He feels little goose bumps raise after a sharp intake of breath from up above. Dean looks over lovingly at the head laying further on the pillows and the brow furrow signifying the edge of wakefulness. He lays his hand fully over the stomach, sparing Castiel of further goose bumps.
He plays with the dark locks he finds lower and nuzzles in between his hipbones.
Everything about Castiel speaks of comfort. Of comfort in his own body, of comfort in his own home, of comfort with his lover...
A deep grunt above, reminds him to open his eyes and he looks back into the squinting, lost blue eyes that gaze in his own green ones.
Dean smiles a reassuring, soft smile and lays his head on Castiel's stomach. He watches Castiel's movements with amusement. He always has a hard time waking up. He once told Dean that he is the only reason he has the strength to get out of bed. So Dean always makes sure that he is beside his partner to help his way to wakefulness.
He settles on his back his naked body exposed of sheets.
Before Castiel he never felt comfortable being naked with someone after having sex. Even then, he always made sure to be surrounded by darkness, or sheets.
He truly trusted Castiel with his body. He trusted Castiel's eyes as they took in his naked form, and he trusted the lazy hand that landed on his chest.
He felt rough fingers scratch at the littlest blond strands of hair he carried.
-"Hey..."- Castiel rasped, his voice full of sleepy content.
-"Hey yourself."- Dean replied equally quiet, and turned his head to pop a little kiss in the middle of the hairs of his lover's tummy.
Castiel huffed a little laugh of happiness and flicked a pink nipple on Dean's chest.
Dean chuckled softly and took the hand on his chest to kiss over it. He kissed every joint on every finger and let the hand lay over his chin to keep his lips on the fingers.
He let himself bask in the affection he felt in Castiel's gaze, in his hands.
-"How are you feeling?"- He asks and Dean can't help but full on laugh at the question, soon joined by the soft rumble of Castiel's laughter.
Castiel always manages to surprise him.
-"I'm happy."- Dean replies simply, twirling a little strand of hair on Castiel's chest.
-"C'mere."- Castiel's happiness can be heard in his voice. And Dean is happy to oblige.
He slides carefully next to his lover's body and lays softly on his chest. A set of strong arms curls around him instinctively.
Dean always felt small next to Cas.
He was heavier than him, bulkier, but Castiel's faith, love and intelligence had always made him feel small in comparison. Castiel made sure to fix that. So now Dean just feels safe in Castiel's arms.
Castiel searches his eyes and brushes his knuckles against the soft, morning stubble on Dean's cheeks.
-"Can I kiss you?"- Castiel is always so careful with him. And Dean loves it. He had so many people in his life who thought that they could have him whenever they want, however they want, who demanded he do as they will. And Castiel broke that chain of people.
And Dean smiled as he kissed Castiel's upper lip softly. He felt Castiel smile lightly into the kiss, and peck at Dean's lower lip.
Dean craved the soft needle press of Castiel's ever growing stubble. He loved how unkempt Castiel was. He felt so candid, true.
He felt a rough hand pull his at his side, making him land fully over Castiel, deepening their kiss.
Kissing Castiel felt like love should. Like two people, two souls, who constantly trace over each other in affection and care.
Castiel traced away from his lips and nuzzled at his neck, breathing in deeply.
Dean let himself fall flush over Castiel, laying his head over Castiel's heartbeat. The steady drumming and constant raise and deflation of his chest had Dean lulled in joy.
The press of the body under his felt warm, secure.
A hand landed softly over his butt, caressing the skin it found there. Dean turned his head towards blue eyes, which looked down over his back.
Castiel found Dean's eyes and spoke silently with emotion. Sometimes Dean felt that Castiel was from another world, another age, another dimension. His eyes felt otherworldly. Like they spoke a language that no one but Castiel knew.
A mouth set hungrily over his, and he accepted the feverish kiss. Because there was no way Castiel kissed him that didn't make him feel loved, wanted, cherished.
And he knows, he knows that it's forever.
Because Castiel convinced him that there is a forever.
And wherever Cas goes, Dean goes with him.
Because he too has a part in their forever.
Dean grinds softly over the strong body under his. They never rush each other. There's no need to. They both know no one's going anywhere of the two of them.
A hard stab at his inner thigh speaks of want.
He grinds out his own desire over his lover's stomach and they both gasp in heat.
Dean slowly opens his eyes gazing back with parted lips at Castiel's breathless face.
-"Will you let me?"- Castiel asks softly searching Dean's eyes in a plead.
Dean loves the way Castiel is always careful with in bed, always making sure to have Dean's full consent, his full devotion, his full want, his full love.
Dean nods smiling.
They are not like most couples. They don't have a "schedule" over how many times they need to have sex in a week. They don't obsess over it.
It is the natural flow of their sexuality that keeps them working.
Because there are no restrictions, no labels on what they do in the bedroom.
That's what makes it making love.
Castiel lifts himself up on the bed, steading Dean with his hands at his sides. Always careful, always loving. He lays Dean on his back hovering above him, aligning their bodies once again. And Dean hopes, and only hopes to be able to speak the trust he has in Castiel through his eyes. Castiel will never hurt him.
And he allows himself to believe in these things, because that's what trust is.
Castiel kisses him then and Dean lets the easy flow of movement being. He welcomes the soft slide of his lover's manhood over his own. They gasp in between feeling the air thicken around them with sweat.
Sex never came so naturally to Dean as it did with Castiel.
Before Castiel, sex was something that you thought about days before it happened, that you prepared yourself for, that you did as automatic as those porn stars did it.
But now he understood that sex came as natural with Castiel as love did. That sex was something you did out of love and want. Not out of obligation.
-"Wait a bit."- Castiel huffed the small words, kissed him on the forehead and crawled across the other side of the bed, towards the small bedside table.
With Castiel it didn't matter if you looked silly, or if you laughed in between because that was real. Because you didn't need to moan out your voice to show him that you enjoyed being with him, doing this.
Because the smallest touches showed their love.
Castiel crawled back with a lube in his hand smiling in triumph. And Dean giggled, because he can.
He loved being playful and carefree in bed.
Castiel slid back between Dean's legs and pecked his lips with a smile. And Dean laughed freely as Castiel kissed his way down with loud smacks. When he got all the way to the crown of his cock he stopped, coated his fingers with lube while breathing hot over it.
He looked up into Dean's soft and lost eyes and straightened up over him in one long cat-like movement.
Dean looked over his blue eyes in a haze of emotion.
Castiel plunged down over his neck kissing and licking and nipping at the skin he found there. And just as his fingers brushed probingly over Dean's entrance he slid his mouth under Dean's armpit and he heard and felt the shudder Dean emitted at the double sensation.
Dean felt every drop of love and care in Castiel's movements. His armpits were his most sensitive spot on his body, and Castiel loved the squirming mess he turned into upon thoroughly kissing and licking them.
Castiel made love to him like a man.
But more than that, Castiel made love to him like he cared.
After a good time of getting him ready Castiel slid away from Dean's upper body, finally giving him a chance to move, and his hands were instantly all over Castiel. Over his chest, over his abdomen, over his collar bones, every patch of skin he could get his hands on.
Castiel smiled that soft rare smile, that spoke of patience and gratitude.
Dean's only thank you was his eyes crinkling smile.
Castiel removed his fingers leaving Dean feeling loose and liquid like. Castiel placed himself between his lover's legs and looked questioningly over Dean's face.
-" 's okay..."- Was all he could muster under the intensity of emotion and sensation he felt. Castiel feared of hurting him on a constant. But never felt even the littlest pang of pain while being with Castiel. But he understood where his concern came.
Dean knew at times he did have sex with other guys, he knew it to be very painful.
But Castiel had never, never made him feel an itch of pain.
And that kind of care left him awed.
Castiel slid inside with ease shuddering heavily and supporting himself on his hands, on either side of Dean. Dean took him in gladly, blossoming around his cock. He moaned softly eyes slid to a half. He never closed his eyes while having sex with Cas. He wanted to see everything, hear everything, feel everything, experience everything Castiel had to offer.
Castiel rocked softly inside Dean breathing heavily against Dean's shoulder. Dean comforted Castiel's shaking form with his hands and open mouthed kisses on his shoulder.
Castiel had a way of losing himself when inside Dean.
And it was Dean's job to guide Castiel then, to keep him there, to assure him.
Making love with Castiel made him feel like an equal to him. In their love there was no "top" or "bottom", "submissive" and "dominative". It was about expressing love and care, being there for each other, kissing and giving, always giving.
Dean felt himself on the edge, Castiel's soft grunts of his name close to his ear.
-"I'm gonna come."- He whispered as soft as a pray against Castiel's cheek, and a surge of speed took over his body, feeling his prostate shudder.
He let himself cry out loudly rocking himself over Castiel's cock letting his orgasm blast over his lover's stomach.
And another cry, a deeper, gravel like howl of ecstasy boomed through the heavy atmosphere of the room. Dean held the heaving body close to his, as he himself breathed loudly through his mouth.
He felt a sore emptiness to him and a trail of warm liquid down his things.
Castiel's limp form landed over his chest, trying to catch his breath.
Dean looked over the other man's sweaty form and grinned, ruffling lovingly the sweaty dark locks over the man's head.
Castiel looked up at Dean and smiled, a happy and sedated smile. And Dean smiled back because it felt good to smile back. Just because.
-"I love you, Dean."- Castiel said softly as he curled up on Dean's chest brushing his hairy thighs lovingly.
-"I love you too, Cas."- Dean replied and kissed his forehead affectionately.
Because no matter how many times he said it, no matter how many times he heard it, it always brought a wave of happiness and bliss he never knew he would feel.
And he thanked Castiel for being there, for being so loving, for being right.
And he closed his eyes and lost himself to sleep, with the constant brush of hands on his thighs.
I wanted to write a sex scene between these two really bad. Mostly because I have been reading a lot of smut lately, and I have to say there are some things that really bother me.
Like how somebody ( usually Cas ) is always treated like a girl during sex. Having man on man sex doesn't put anybody in the "position" of the woman. Making love/ having sex is about two people connecting with each other.
Also characters don't need to change personality just to have sex. And I don't mean if your characters are OOC, they are obviously OOC if this is just a smut fic, but I mean one moment Cas is all shy and quiet and then the sex scene comes and he's an animal. Sex doesn't work that way, you are still the same person regardless if you have or don't have sex.
Also over glamourizing, and missing detail. People in porn don't speak names, don't kiss over little dimples, don't laugh during sex because they are not familiar with each other, because they are doing their job, because they are not making love. Porn isn't real sex.
So please, review this, tell me if it's good or not. I appreciate it if you would take the time. :)