When we were walking side by side towards the main entrance of the hospital, I realized for the first time that I was noticeably taller than Roxas now.
"…Roxas shrunk?" I murmured in confusion, then I heard him chuckle lightly.
"Nup. You have grown much taller than you were 17. You amazed everyone by how fast you kept growing even after age of 18." He explained.
Oh. That was great! I mean, me and Roxas were about the same height most of time before we turned 17. Okay, maybe he was a couple centimetres taller. I was often teased being "small" because of my height at early-teen age. Hmph. I'm not gonna tell you how jealous I was of Riku's height at that time. Oh wait…I just said that. Fine. Whatever. Height doesn't matter! …But it doesn't hurt to be tall either. Heheheheh. I couldn't help but want to grin like an idiot again. Super! Now I must be over 180 cm or something coz Roxas looked like he's about 175 cm roughly and I seem to be 8-10 cm taller than him. Sweet. That's just sweet. You ask why? Coz to me that's like the most ideal height difference, coz now I'm larger and I can protect him! Maybe Kami-sama still loves me.
I shivered at the cold wind that blew onto my face as we stepped out the hospital. It was indeed winter. It was quite chilly outside, no wonder Roxas was all wrapped up in his cozy marshmallow coat. Roxas loves snow but he hates cold. Looked like he hadn't changed in that part. I got used to the chill quickly. Unlike him, I would be able to survive the whole winter with just a sweater. Seeing him clench both of his hands into fists and put them close to his mouth in attempt to warm them up before he got a chance to put some gloves on, I almost wanted to grab both his hands right then and there. I wanted to wrap my own hands over his, to keep him warm safe unharmed in my hands…But-But I just couldn't.
Sometimes, I don't know if I hate or love my self-control power.
But thanks goodness I was soon distracted by other things. Roxas was leading the way to the parking lot where he parked his car. As the nice-looking blue vehicle came into view, I had this unease feeling start growing in my stomach. I mean, the way he was walking, the way he was acting, he truly had grown up into a mature adult. But I…I was still…Even if my body had grown larger like adult, I was still an immature teen at heart. I suddenly felt like there was this huge gap between the 21-year-old Roxas and this 17-year-old me. Everything was unknown to me. I had no idea of what this 21-year-old Roxas' world was like. I had no idea what kind of person this Roxas had become, what he liked, what he hated. I felt this me was unworthy of his company. The growing bitterness was killing me inside.
I got into the car, feeling even more disheartened. Roxas remained silent as well. As he started his car, he put all his focus on driving. Up to the point that I no longer could endure the dead silence between us, I opened my dry mouth again, wanting to ask him a question that had been bugging me for a while.
His eyes were still focusing on the road right in front of us. I knew it might not be the best time to ask questions but if I didn't say something or do something to distract myself, this silence would drive me crazy.
"I wanna ask about the accident. The doctor told me you were with me when it happened. So…what was it like?"
"Yes, I was with you last night. It was Lea's wedding ceremony yesterday. We went to his wedding together."
"WHAT? Lea? You mean that redhead?" Too shocked I was.
"Yeah, it's that redhead Lea. "
"He got married?" Seriously? I thought he was with that bluehead Isa….oh wait, don't tell me Isa was the "bride"! Wait wait wait, it's four years later now. So is same-sex marriage officially allowed now?
"…Larxene was the bride. You know her too."
Huh? Larxene? That bit…I mean that sadist woman? How come it was her?
"But I thought Lea was…" My voice kinda trailed off as I realized how pointless it would sound.
"…No, Isa broke up with Lea a few months ago." Now Roxas confirmed it.
We both knew our friends were gay and together, but we never openly discussed this sort of things for the reason you already know. Normally you would feel happy for your friends when they get married. But now I just felt even more depressed. Sigh. Since I don't know the details I won't make any judgement. But again, it really is true that it's much tougher for same-sex relationship to survive in this society.
"O..kay. So what happened yesterday then?" Anyways, who married who was none of my business.
"We left early from the after-ceremony party since I wasn't feeling too good. The accident happened on our way to the subway station. As we were walking towards one crossroad, a speedy car ran the red light and hit a bike –"
Keywords: We? Walking? Together?
"The hit bike flew off to the sidewalk due to the impact, and it flew off towards where we were…"He paused for a few moments. I think I saw his face turning a bit paler, he must be quite upset. "…You got hit and were knocked out after your head hit the wall…"
T-that surly sounds serious…Now thinking about it, a mild concussion was all I got, I didn't even break a single bone. What a lucky guy I am! Mmmm…maybe my battle reflex kicked in and helped me to avoid a head-on hit? Arhh, I couldn't remember, none of what Roxas just told me rang any bell to me. It's more like hearing a story that happened to someone else, someone strange, someone definitely not myself.
"Ahaha…Gee, I don't remember any of that." I let out couple dry laughs.
"If…" He continued after another pause, "If I had driven with my own car yesterday…none of this would have happened to you."
His voice was full of guilt and regret. It made my heart clench in pain.
"No! It's not your fault at all!" I snapped, "It's just an accident right? I would totally blame the guy who ran the red light. He's a bloody murderer!" Seriously, I wonder what happened to that biker who got hit first.
"…No Sora, it is my fau – "
"Hey, no more blame on yourself." I didn't want to hear Roxas blaming himself again so I quickly cut him off. I know him. He always takes all the responsibilities onto himself, which really makes me sad sometimes.
"…" He still avoided looking at me. I noticed his grip on the wheel tightened for his knuckles started turning white.
"Rox, don't think too much about it. I'm totally okay now. And what's more important is that you didn't get hurt! Ah, wait, no, I heard you got couple scratches too. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. It's just some small scratches."
"Good!" I grinned happily, "Then there's nothing to worry about!"
He became silent again. Err, did I say something wrong?
"But your memory…"
"Well, the doctor said it would eventually come back to me so I'm not worried. And thanks goodness I'm the only one got hit on head but you are all safe and sound. Just imagine what if we both hit our head and both lost our memory. Then who's gonna help me to figure out what's going on and help me to get back my lost memory?"
I turned my head to flash him my trademark toothful grin in hopes to ease his upset. This time he quickly took a look at me as well and smiled.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
Mmmm…his smile was pretty hard to read this time. Before, I was able to see through his cold mask coz we were really close to each other. But now…I don't know any more. I felt like he was holding something back, but not exactly hiding…I just got a feeling that there was something bothering him but he seemed not to want me to share the burden with him. So, he was not as open to me as before…
Maybe I did confess to him after all? But maybe he was just too kind to cut his tie with me and still treated me the same like brothers? But at the same time he would no longer open his heart to me like before?
No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't remember that most important part.
About half hour later, we arrived at this decent looking apartment building. Wow. So this was the place I was living right now. That was something completely different than the shanty tiny apartment the 17-year-old Sora once lived in.
Roxas dropped me off at the main entrance while he went to park his car. But both he and I forgot about one very important thing.
I was standing right in front of the entrance door, staring at the digital security keypad like a moron.
How the hell was this 17-year-old Sora supposed to know the password for getting into the 21-year-old Sora's home? !
A/N: It's very sad that some disrespectful people would say Sora/Roxas is gross right to SoRoku fans' face. But at the same time, that type of immature comment has prompted me to want to write about this pairing even more. My love for SoRoku will never die. Soroku fans, review please? Tell me I'm not alone.
I feel really downhearted right now. Haters never understand what kind of damage one simple rude comment could cause to others.