22. Flashes back from the past
We had finally crossed the line. Told each other we were in loved. But the past haunted me in the back of my mind. In highschool I had the biggest crush on Pacey but he never saw me in that light because of Joey. I pretended that there was nothing between us, but I was just trying to protect myself. I closed my eyes and saw us back in highschool. Dawson and Joey walked in us making out. Joey almost called me a slut before Pacey stopped him.
You went to Joey for advice about us?
Yeah. I know, not so smart, huh?
Smart or not smart, it's just...funny, you went to her.
Well, I wouldn't say that I went to her. I mean, she just kind of happened to be there, we were studying.
Can I ask you something, Pacey? What is it about her?
She's obviously got something that makes boys and emotional turmoil just flock to her.
Come again?Come on, Dawson's the same way. Whatever small problem got to him he went straight to Joey.
So who else would you have me talk to? I can't exactly go to Andie with something like this, so I guess I'm supposed to commune with deputy Doug then?
Dawson. Why couldn't you just go to Dawson?
That your current girl Friday used to be his.
Okay, now correct me if I'm wrong, but Dawson Leery didn't actually know about you and I till, what? Two minutes ago.
I'm not talking about us.
What, Joey? This has nothing to do with Joey!
Pacey, I saw the way you overreacted to Dawson, I saw the way that Joey overreacted to us. I know you're having trouble in math these days, but it doesn't take Einstein to get the sum total of these two overreactions.
You're gonna have to explain this one to me, because I've gotta be missing something here, you're talking about Joey Potter, right, the one who can't walk into the same room with me without gagging, huh? That Joey Potter. There is nothing going on between us!
No, Pacey there's nothing between us!
Those were the words I yelled at him, but even then I knew I wanted him to see me differently. But because he was so in love with Joey those feelings never had a chance to develop. Until now. Here we were in Memphis together in love. No Dawson or Joey to come between us. That was highschool. He loved Joey in highschool he loves you now, I told myself.
23. Pacey's flash back
I remember all those dance lessons with Joey. But mainly the night she found Jen and I making out in the closet.
No, Pacey there's nothing between us! Jen had yelled at me once I she found Joey knew about our agreement for sex. Ofcourse we had allready decided there was no spark there. No desire for each other. But what if there was no Joey in the picture? What if I never had told her about the relationship with Jen. Would Jen and I moved forward? Realize that there was something indeed there. Gone to prom together? Sailed away on True Love for the summer? So many what ifs. I didn't regret my time with Joey, but I decide wish I could have more time with Jen. Because this girl was amazing. How could I have been so blind in highschool. I talked about being jealous over soulmates and wanting true love but mine had been there all along. But with all the Joey and Dawson drama I had missed it. My feelings for Joey where real. I knew that. Still it felt like Dawson and I were chasing after a Joey like she was a prize. I mean did I just want Joey because Dawson did? And Dawson partly want her for the same reasons? Not that we didn't care about her, but was that some of the appeal? And Jen had been the one to calm things down between us. Always calm, cool, and honest about who she was. I just wish I would have realized all the things she was then. I should have been after her from day one. Maybe it was better this way though. Because now I was ready for this type of love. I was ready to marry her.
She layed asleep in the bed and left the hotel room to make a call.
"Grams. I mean Ms. Ryan.."
"Yes. Is that you Pacey?"
"Yes. I had something I needed to ask you."
"Is Jennifer allright?"
"She's right now."
"Good. I hope you two are having a great trip."
"We are. So good in fact I want to show Jen how serious I am about our relationship. And I know you are closer to her then her parents so I thought you should be the person I should ask for her hand in marriage. Although I will call her father as well."
"Pacey. I'm thrilled. But are you sure? Marriage allready."
"Grams, when you find the person you love there is no point in waiting. I know she's the one."
"Then yes Pacey you have my blessing. If you promise to be good to her."
"And Pacey don't tell anyone but I always had feeling you two would end of together. Just the way you two seemed so comfortable together and relaxed."
I smiled as hang up the phone seemed like other people had an idea we where perfect for each other.
24. Where's Pacey?
First moment I started to doubt Pacey. Trust wasn't an easy thing for either one of us. And when I woke up he was gone I thought the worst. He had taken his cell phone? Who had he called? Was it Joey...why was I being so insecure. It was Jack bringing her up. No, he was not going out to call Joey. Maybe he just needed some fresh air. I wasn't going to think or worry about Joey anymore. Unless Pacey gave me reason to. At that moment Pacey walked in the door.
25. Everybody Here Wants You
"You're awake! I just went door stairs to get some more towels." I said placing the white towels on the floor.
"I was worried." Jen said her blonde hair falling in her face.
"I am not going anywhere." I said moving closer to her.
She was so sexy in light colored pink see through sleep wear. Even the clothes she sleep in were sexy I told myself. Her skin was flames, and that rocking body. Man, I loved everything about it. I just couldn't wait to touch her.
I placed my lips on her neck and started kissing her. I gently removed her top and started kissing her all over. My hands where softly grabbing her butt. She reached over and pulled off my shirt. Taking over was nothing usual for Jen. She laid me on the bed and removed all of our clothes. I smiled in delight as she moved herself into me. The way she moved so slowly inside me just took my breathe away. Everytime Jen and I made love it only got better. She was my sex goddess, and loved her.
All the time we went out all the men were staring at her body and wanting her. Believe I knew those looks. I have given plenty of those looks myself.
Seem like everyone wanted while everyone wanted Jen I was the one who had her. I waited for months while she dated that Victor guy, and now she was mine. I just had to show her how much I loved her, and that I would treat her then anyone else could. Because Jen and I were meant to be. That was one thing I was sure of.
Chapter Notes: Lyrics and the name for this chapter came from Jeff Buckley's song Everybody Here Wants You . I just thought the lyrics would give you a nice idea of how close Jen and Pacey are at this point. You really should listen to the song and buy it on itunes. Also all flash back chapters came from Dawson's Creek show. I can't believe I am half done with this story! I hope you are enjoying it. Even if I am not the best writer.
26. You're in Love
Doug was right I never was going to find Pacey here. Memphis in May was coming up and the city was crowded. This was coming from me a New Yorker. I went to Beale Street and and just looked around. I tried calling Doug, and begged him to tell what hotel they were staying at. He refused, and told me the same thing about talking to Pacey later. But this couldn't wait. Then I looked up and saw Pacey. He was with Jen walking across the street full of people. They where carrying coffee from Starbucks and laughing at each other. You could see the love in their eyes. In their body lanuage. Everything seem to telling me that these two were in love. I started to walk up to them. I came all this way shouldn't atleast tell him how I feel? I got closer, and stopped myself. I knew that most likely they had allready seen me, but neither one said anything. I looked again at Pacey. He looked at Jen in a way he never looked at me. Doug was right I shouldn't ruin their vacation. I had to let Pacey go. I turned around walking away as fast as possiable. Tears building up in my eyes. Pacey was in love with Jen. I didn't believe it Doug, but when I saw them together I knew it was true. So I had to let Pacey go.
27. She's Everything
Was that Joey Potter staring at Jen and I? It couldn't the girl in the blue jeans with dark hair looked just like Jo. But when I looked up she was gone. I am going crazy, I told myself. I guess Joey was on my mind because at one point in my life I thought she would be the one I was buying the diamond ring for. I knew the personI was for Jen was the man Joey wanted me to be. I regretted I couldn't be that for her. I was too young or maybe it just wasn't right. But I was this person now. The man who wanted to marry Jen. She was everything to me. And I couldn't wait to get her back to Capeside, and buy her that ring. I would marry her tonight if she wanted.
28. Memphis in May
Was that Joey? I swear I saw her in the crowd. No, I know I did. In my mind I thought the worst. Did Pacey hook up with Joey on our trip? No, he couldn't have. But still Joey had been there. And I intended to find out why. I knew Jack had her phone number, and I could just call her. Ask her straight up why she was in Memphis. Maybe she was going to see the concert herself. Why think the worst? Pacey had been with me the whole time. Except when he left the other night to get towels. And he couldn't have gone anywhere that fast. I was not going to question him. He never felt insecure about Victor. Why be insecure about Joey? Even if guys always picked her over you. It was different this time. And Joey being in Memphis had nothing to do with Pacey and me. I took Pacey's hand and both smiled at each other. Although we both saw her neither one of said anything. We there to enjoy our trip. And tonight the concert started. Our first time going to Memphis in May.
29. Could not ask for
Memphis in Mayer was everything Jen and I had imagined. Crowded,but with great music. We enjoyed shows from The Allman Brothers Band ,Jerry Lee Lewis,Plain White T's,Counting Crows,John Legend, Hinder,Edwin McCain, and many others. During every show I held Jen closed. I knew that I wanted to ask her to marry me now...What was the point of waiting? I had been in love before, but it never like this. With Andie and Joey it was imature love. Something I wasn't ready for yet. But with Jen it was a mature, but still passionate love. Different, and stronger then anything I had ever felt. I couldn't really use words to explain how strong my feelings where for her. I just knew us married made sense. I loved her so what was the point of waiting? But I knew I had no ring so that was the problem. Sunday night was the last night of the concert, and the day I hadn't really planned on asking her to marry me. I remember I brought her a mood ring when we were looking around at gift show that sold items for tourists. Mainly of Elvis ofcoure. Jen was busy looking at some tee shirts so I put the ring in pocket thought I give it to her later. We then stopped for dinner at Kooky Canuck a famous hamburger place. Two cheeseburgers later, a mountain of french fries, and smores for desert Jen and I were full. We couldn't stop laughing at the dinner table. Then we walked over to the concert. Edwin McCain was on the last acts playing. I was never really a big fan of him, but one of his songs spoke to me. It was called I Could Not Ask.
I could hear him singing, and I knew it was time to ask her. What was I waiting for?
Jen was looking up at me smiling, and it seem so clear what I should do.
"Marry me, Jen?" I said pulling the small mood ring out of my pocket.
"Yes." She said holding her hand so I could slide the ring on finger.
"I love you. You've made all my dreams come true."
" You are my dream Pacey."
And in that moment everything was perfect. If only for that moment.
30. Dinner with the Witters
I had been so sick lately. To my stomach all the time. I thought for a moment I was pregnant. I really had thought the whole trip with Pacey. But then I started bleeding lightly, and was so thankful. You couldn't bleed when you where pregnant, and it wasn't enough to have a miscarriage. So I felt more at easy when about everything when I had dinner with Pacey's family. We were getting ready to tell them about our engagement. It was just a few days after we got home from Memphis. Mrs. Witter seem to warm up to me, and everyone seemed shocked.
"Jen, reminded me that spaghetti and meatballs were your favorite. Not chipped beef. So you can thank her for that."
"Wow, she got your name right." Pacey whispered in my ears.
"Yeah because unlike most of your girlfriends this ones a keeper so don't mess this one up Pacey. I could not stand that Josie girl."
"Joey..her name was Joey."
"Yeah that's what I said. Never liked her."
"Well, let's not talk about her. Because tonight I am here to tell you Jen and I are getting married."
"That's not her engagement ring ?" Carrie asked making a face at my mood ring.
"No. This is just a pratice ring. Pacey is going to get me another one soon. Not that ring is what is important. Our marriage is."
"See I told you this girl's a keeper. Unlike all the other ones you dated," Mrs. Witter said smiling handing me the garlic bread.
I smiled coming from Pacey's mom that was a big deal. She rarely likes anyone. I really was starting to feel like part of this family.
31. Too Good to be true
A famliy dinner where everyone was getting a long? My mother getting Jen's name correct? I couldn't believe it. It was all too good to be true. As if things couldn't be more perfect there was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," I said wondering who it was.
"Pacey," My sister Gretchen said putting her arms around me.
"So here you're getting married...to Jen Lindley..."
Jen wrapped her arms around Gretchen , and the two started to check up. Talking about the usual girl stuff. Shoes, hair, clothes, and other things I had no interest in. Just seeing Jen with my family this way was just too good to be true.
After dinner was over Jen and Gretchen went to the store to get some ice cream to put on top of the apple pie Carrie had made. While they gone my mother and father took me in to the kitchen, and told me that something to give me.
" It's not worth much, Pacey. But you father and I was thinking it would be a great starter ring. We know money is tight with you just opening the resturant. And you grandmother would want you to have it."
My mother handed to a black box with a silver engagement ring and wedding band. It was covered in dimonads that I knew couldn't be wear and in the middle was a Mystic topaz. The purple gem in the middle made the ring extremely beautiful and unique.
"Wow. I don't know what to say." I said giving he my dad and mom a big huge.
"We wouldn't give it to you if we didn't like the girl." My mom said.
"You picked a good girl."
" I really love her mom and dad. We know. We can see it in your eyes."
" After only nine weeks we're in love. I can't believe it."
"We can't our little Pacey is getting married either." My mom said smiling.
I put the ring in my pocket. I couldn't wait to give it to Jen.
32. I know you love my brother but...
Gretchen hadn't changed a bit since I saw her last. Still as pretty, honest, and out spoken.
"I am happy you and Pacey found each other. It just that I always thought he'd end up with someone else."
"Well..yeah...I figured once she realized her Dawson where better of as friends she's come back to Pacey."
"It's weird. I love Joey...I really do, but her relationship with Pacey hadn't been the best either. She told him flat out she didn't have feelings left for him."
" Well, she does now. I just thought you should know Joey followed the two of you to Memphis. Doug told me. She wants Pacey back now."
"Joey can want that all she likes. Pacey has moved on with me."
"Jen, I know you love my brother, but just much sure he does not have any feelings lingering for Joey before the two of you get married."
"Gretchen, I know you're only trying to help. But I am sure of what Pacey and I."
She looked up at me and smiled.
"Well, Jen you know I'd love to have you as a sister if everything works out that way..."
33. A Baby changes everything
It was the wrong time for me to hear the news. Gretchen told me about Joey only a few days ago. She told me that Joey wanted me back. I couldn't just ignore that...this was Joey Potter...? I knew that I had to atleast talk to her before I could start my future with Jen. I needed to explain to her I moved on. And at work business was slow how could I make my loan payments if we had no business at the Icehouse? The stress off everything was building up that day Jen came home from the doctor.
"It turns I am having a baby..."
"How many weeks?"
"Ten..it could be yours. Not likely because we always used protection. But it could be..."
I thought of the unsed condom in the trash. There was a chance this was my baby...but how could I take care of child when I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pay my rent? The baby would be lucky if that Victor guy was the father. I knew I wanted to have a baby with Jen but not so soon. What would I do.
I took Jen in my arms, and held her close.
"I'll have to tell Victor. I don't want to...but it's the right thing to do."
I nodded. I wanted to tell Jen it did not matter who the father was. That I'd be there for her, and love the baby no what. Those where the words I should have said but didn't.
I knew this baby would change everything.
34. The break up
It felt like a matter of time. Pacey was going to leave me. I couldn't give up this baby though. I loved him or her so much allready. I prayed someway or some how that this baby could be his. I know that if we could make it together until the baby was born everything would be allright. Somehow Pacey would see that this baby was part of his family. Sadly it didn't work out that way. Joey came back to Capeside, and I saw the two of them together. She had his arms around him. And pulled him into a kiss. I saw them leaving the Ice House together, but they didn't see me. I was going to stop and ask what was going on. But instead I packed my bags. I would let him go be with his true love. How could I expect him to raise other man's child. I left him a note saying:
I hope we can still be friends.
35. What happened?
Joey showed up at the Ice House. I had allready told her that it was over on the phone. But she wanted to talk to me in person.
"Don't you ever think about what might have been Pacey?" Joey said pulling close.
"It's too late..."
"It's not...does she really make you feel alive..Remember how things used to be?"
She pulled in to kiss me. I kissed her back, but only for a minute.
"No..I'm with Jen now. I am going to marry her, and help her raise that baby."
"A baby that isn't yours? Pacey we can have our own baby together! Just move to New York with me!"
"Joey...I have dreamed of this moment for so long. But I am not in love with you anymore."
I walked off before she could say anything else. I couldn't wait to get home to Jen. I had the engagement ring ready to give her, and I almost had brought the baby a big soft teddy bear. I wanted to show Jen I was there for her. But all that was there was a note saying I hope we can still be friends.
Was Jen leaving me for Victor without breaking up with me face to face? How could this be happening.
I called Jack. He would know where she was.
"Jen left. She found out Joey was in town. "
"I have to explain to her nothing has happened."
"I don't think she's going to buy it." Jack said before hanging up the phone.
"We're just meant to be. That's why you're carrying my baby. That's why you're boyfriend cheated you on. It's fate you and me."
Maybe he was right. Victor and I belong together. Pacey belonged with Joey. But somehow it didn't feel right. I couldn't stop thinking about Pacey. He called alot at first. I didn't answer, and by the time I was ready to talk he stoppped calling. Maybe I should call him. I mean if it was just a kiss with Joey I could forgive him right? I mean if it was just a kiss... Still maybe I should try and work things out with Victor. For the sake of our child. As much as I wanted it to be Pacey's it wasn't. And as much as I believed in our relationship it just never had a chance with Joey in the picture. Pacey never thought of me as his first choice after all. If he did he would have found me by now. I couldn't believe all the time we were together he wanted Joey. But that seem to be the truth.
37. Thinking of you
I tried to find Jen and explain everything. I called, a text, and drove to Boston where I knew she was staying with Victor. Although I never got the nerve to go to the door. I was almost stalking her. Jack told me she was explained to me that her and Victor weren't in a relationship. That she was staying there only until to the baby was born. His baby with Jen. The idea she was having someone else's baby made me sick. I really wanted that baby to be mine. Jen should be with me.
I tried to call her one last time.
"Hello..is Jen there?"
"No. This is Victor. Jen does not want you to call her anymore."
"I think she should tell me that herself." I really hated this guy I had never meant.
"You've done enough with the whole Joey thing. Jen is to amazing to be anyone's second choice. And she told me to tell you that friendship is all she wants from you."
I hung up the phone. Just friends? Over the next few weeks Joey kept calling. The apartment seem so lonely without Jen. I felt so depressed looking at the bed, and kitchen where Jen had so many fun times. I could hear the sound of her laughter everywhere. So when Joey asked me to come to New York for visit I agree. The next thing I knew I was moving in, and letting Nathan run the Ice House for until I could decided what I was going to do about it. New York was a strange cold city for me. I missed Capeside, and Jen so much. Joey tried everything to make feel home, but whenever I was with Jo I thought about Jen. I couldn't help comparing the two. Which I knew wasn't fair to Joey. Still, I was too deep in the relationship just to end it. Afterall Jen did not want me. Why shouldn't I move on?
"You are going to need to go to New York hosptial to have this baby." Dr. Clayton told me.
Dr. Clayton was the female OBGYN Victor insisted I use. I looked at her puzzled.
"Jen you have a heart condition. We need to make sure that you and this baby have all the special care you need."
"Will I be allright?"
"Jen, at the moment you will be okay. Although carrying this baby is going to be difficult for both you and the baby. I'm am going to do everything to make sure the baby arrives safely. At some point though your heart is going to give out. It's just a matter of time. A heart transplant is the only cure."
I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. A heart transplant? I knew that I would have to be put on a long waiting list. What if my body gave out? What if I never got to hold my sweet baby? I wanted to see my baby and hold her more then anything.
Days, weeks, and months went by. I finally got a chance to talk to Jen. She told me that the baby was a girl. I wanted to tell her that there was a chance that baby could be mine. I tried. I said couldn't find the words.
"I am happy for you Pacey. And I know it's going to be difficult for us to be friends. But hope we can find a way."
"Jen, I will always be here for you. I promised that before all this happened. Joey will understand."
"I always knew you had something together."
"I feel more alive when she is around." I said knowing that was only half way true. Sure I still wanted her sexually. I would always desire her, but I wondered if that was all our relationship really was about. I mean I brought her a wall, and always told her how great she was. But other then help me study for a few test I felt like Joey never supported me the way Jen did. I could see us back in high school Jen telling me to follow my heart when I wanted to be with Joey. Then helping me at my restaurant, and rebuild my life at Capeside. Getting back with Joey meant leaving everything to move to New York. I knew Jen would have never asked me or wanted me to leave the Ice House behind. Because she under stood me. We were so much a like. We just belonged together. Jen was my soulmate. But she was happy now, and Victor give her a kind of life I never could.
"Just remember Pacy feeling alive can't come only from another person. It has to come from yourself."
"You're right. Can I come see you Jen? When you have the baby?"
"Yes." She replied.
And that was it. She said she was sorry about the way things ended. But I knew that one kiss with Joey brought back all those old feelings. Dawson and I always fighting over Joey. We both had a short relationships or flings with Jen. Neither of us took her seriously. Deep down I know Jen wanted to be the girl that guys fought over. She deserved to be that girl. I could understand for the life of me why she wasn't. I wanted to fight for her. But if she was happy with this Victor guy what right did I have to ruin it for her. If I never talked to Joey in the first I would still have Jen in life.
It wasn't fair that I had Pacey, but didn't really have him. The whole time since he moved in I could tell he wanted to be somewhere else. With someone else. I came back to Capeside to break Jen and Pacey up. So I could have him back with me. But did I want him like this? Maybe he didn't know I could tell that the smile on his face was fake. Or that he was always looking at his phone to see if Jen called. He explained to me that Jen and him we were going to stay friends. I should understand. I had Dawson right?
I wanted to believe friendship was all he wanted with her. But I knew deep down that wasn't true. He wanted Jen back. I should let him go. But I couldn't. I just wanted him so bad. It was just unfair.
41. The Sound of music
I was faking it with Joey. She tried her best to make me happy. She helped me get a job at new restaurant. Brought me clothes. We talked about going sailing on a boat for the summer. Even going up to a cabin in the winter so could relive our first time together. She remindered of the great times together in the past. We took dance classes together, but it seem like everything was in the past. Where could we go in the future? I couldn't stay with Joey. Not loving Jen the way I still did. I thought about when I went to Boston. I saw the big house Victor lived in and walked away. I should have tried. Tried to talk to her. Could money really make her more happy then my love? Sure, I wouldn't have a big house to raise that baby in but I would work hard to make sure she had everything she needed. I would take of that baby and Jen. ?Even if I couldn't give her the best I could love her. I should have been honest with her. There was a chance that baby was mine.
"Pacey?Earth to Pacey?"Joey said waking me from thought.
"You've been setting her watching the sound of music."
"Yeah...It's classic." I really had no idea what was on the tv. I turned to look at the tv. Julie Answers character Maria was talking to the nun.
Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.
It was strange ever since I had gotten with Jen I had been seeing signs. The song at Memphis in May when I asked her to marry me,the moodring at brought at the random gift shop, and now this movie telling me to face my problems. To live the life I was born to life with Jen. I had to be honest with Joey even though it would break her heart. As much as I loved her in the past. My future was with Jen.
"I love this movie too. I just got of the phone with Dawson."
"You did?" I smiled. Maybe Joey wanted Dawson back. Atleast I wouldn't hve to break her heart if she did. Because even if Jen didn't want me back. I knew I couldn't stay in this relationship.
"Yeah. He told me Jen's getting married to Victor after the baby is born. It's girl."
I tried to smile. Joey pulled her arms around me. Should I talk to Jen ? What if that baby is Victor's after all? Not, that it mattered. But Jen wouldn't marry him if she didn't love him? Would she?
I knew breaking up with Pacey in a letter was wrong. But if I had done it in person I would never been able to go through with. Those blue green eyes looking at me. I had been so sure of our relationship until he had to go and kiss Joey. If had been any another girl besides her. Our break up would have never happened. I knew one thing. I was sick, and afriad I was going to leave my little girl all alone. The only thing that scared me more then death was never holding Pacey again. I was so confused about what I should do. Could I marry Victor when so much of my heart belonged to Pacey?
43. Holding on
I was happy to tell Pacey that Jen was marrying Victor. I was doing anything I could to try and hold on to him. What we had. But there was no denying that Pacey and Jen still had connection. Maybe I should just let him go.
44. I couldn't take it anymore
Why did I move to New York? Leave behind the Ice House to be with Joey. Why couldn't she move to be with Capeside to be with me? Because in a relationship with Joey it was all about her. Ofcourse I was all about myself too. That's how it was different with Jen. We had put each other needs first. Something completely new for me. I had taken care of girls before, but never one that taken care of me before. And I knew that I left Jen alone when she needed me the most. I should told her along time ago that this baby might me mine. And even if it wasn't I would still love her. How could I not? She was part of Jen.
I knew before Jack called I to go find Jen. But when he called it made it all to clear. Joey just walked in after I got of the phone with Jack.
"Jo, Jen's having the baby. Jack said they are doing a c-section. I have to go."
"Pacey, stay here. You can go see the baby tommorrow. Jen's got grams, her boyfriend, Jack, and her mom. She does not need you there too."
"She may not need me. But I need her. "
"You're still in love with her?"
"I can't help it. I've tried to stop. But honestly Joey she is my world now. I am sorry I can't give you what you need."
"I just hope she realizes how lucky she is to have you. Now go on..."
"Will you be okay?"
"Pacey...I known you've loved her this whole time. I should have let you months ago."
I gave Joey a kiss on the cheek, and walked away. We both knew it was over for good. She was my past, and my future was with Jen. If she would have me. I just couldn't take my life anymore without her.
I was having this baby. Victor was in the room. The doctor said my heart was to weak to go into labor, and they had to take my baby my c-section. So much was going through my mind. Would she be okay? Would I get a chance to see her grown up? Could I stay with Victor for our child's sake? The minutes seemed like hours, and finally my little girl was there. Blonde hair, and blue eyes. I smiled looking at her I knew everything would be okay.
Victor went off with the baby, and the doctor get me ready to go back to the room. Was crazy to think she was actually sewing my stomach back together. Then I was brought back to the room with Victor.
"I know it's not the best time to say this Jen, but that baby looks nothing like me. I know you have blonde hair and fair skin, but I figured she 'd look more like tell me is there any chance she's not mine?"
"Yes, Victor. There is a sight chance."
He looked at me speechless for a moment.
"I want to get a dna a test."
"That might be for the best. " I said agreeing with him.
He said nothing after that. He stayed with me and Amy until Jack came. Then he left. I knew the results to the dna test would decided the future of relationship. But either way I couln't marry him. Not with my feelings being so strong for Pacey. But with my heart problems I knew I needed to know who her father was regardless.
I saw Jen and her little girl Amy. I never saw anything more lovely.
"Yes..." I said staring at her and that beautiful baby.
"There is alot I need to tell you. First Pacey...I am sick. My is heart is weak. And I am going to have to surgery soon. Also Amy looks nothing like 's fair and blonde. Like me and you...Victor is Italian"
"That night we sex, Jen. We didn't use protection. The condom was still in the package...I should have told you months ago. I was afriad."
"I understand. I should never broke up with you in a note. I was childish, and jealous of Joey. But I realized when you love someone you want them to be happy no matter want. Just promise me if I die you and Joey will love Amy if she is your baby."
"I can't promise you that."
"Because Jo and I broke up. I could never love her like I love you now...and I want to be here for you and Amy whether she is mine or not."
"But what if I die? There maybe no future with me?"
"Jen...you will make it through because you are a you know how much Amy and I need you. How much we love you." I put my arms around her and Amy looked up at me smiling.
"I love you too Pacey. I never stop the whole time we where apart. Not for one minute."
I took the ring my mom gave and slide it on Jen's finger. She knew what it was, and there was no need to ask her again to marry me. I allready knew she was mine. Just like I had a feeling that Amy was mine too.
"She is your baby! Amy is ours."
"I knew she was."Pacey said giving me a big kiss.
"Pacey, I am going to write my will...if the new heart doesn't work."
"Don't talk like that my love." He said pulling me close.
"I have think about these things. I am going to make your name is on the birth certificate . Amy Witter."
"And soon you'll be Jen Witter."
"I want to marry you so bad and move back to Capeside and help you run the Ice House. I am so excited about little life together I just hope we get that chance." I said hold Pacey's hand so tight. We will.
One year later- Christmas 2009
My beautiful wife Jen and little girl Amy come walking into the room. We through so during Amy's first two years. Jen wanted to get married before her heart transplant surgery. She thought we were going to the court house, but our friends helped us put together a surprise wedding for her. Dawson brought her a fancy wedding dress to borrow that was used in one of his new movies, Jack and Doug decorated the Ice house with pale pink and rose roses, Gail brought us a wedding cake and punch, and even Joey showed up to be a bridesmaid for Jen. The whole town of Capeside pulled together to make sure Jen had a lovely wedding. It was a beautiful day shared with family and friends.
Then Jen had a surgery. She was so afriad, but everything went as planned. And now here we are a family.
"Daddy...I want cookie..." I can here Amy calling for.
"Cookies for breakfast on Christmas?" I asked Jen.
"How about chocolate chip pancakes and milk instead." She suggest picking up Amy.
"Milky..." Amy said smiling showing she approved.
"I'll help you make them.." Jen said as I wanted to the kitchen.
"No sit down. I'll make the pancakes, and then we'll open gifts."
"Why are you so good to Pace?"
"Because I love you more then anything. You've changed my life for the better."
She walked in the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek.
"I love you too. Merry Christmas Mr. Witter."
"And Merry Christmas too you Mrs. Witter."
I am going to remove this soon. But let me know what you think. I plan on writing more Jen and Pacey Stories. Because I love!