Author: Daniela Dpr
Rating: T (I think)
Here's the next chapter. I'm glad you liked the previous ones and wanted me to continue. : ) Let me know what you think and leave a review. I always like to know what readers are thinking about the stuff I come up with. : )
Too shocked to react first, Deniz simply stood there, staring, his mind completely blank. It wasn't before Roman looked up at him through red eyes that Deniz noticed his face was tearstained. Instantly, he moved forward and knelt down next to the man he loved most in the world, taking his hand into his, looking for any injuries or bruises. "What happened?! Where have you been?!" he asked him and was still breathing hard as his hand reached out to touch Roman's cheek, wiping tears away by doing so. Through the fog of his brain he took notice of the odd look that Roman was giving him, one that reminded him of the moment Roman had passed out or was in pain or… "Are you all right? Are you in pain? Do you need a doctor?!" Deniz babbled away and didn't wait for an answer but readied himself to head for the phone as Roman's hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. He didn't like that look in Roman's eyes at all. It scared the hell out of him, made his heart beat even faster in fear as it already was. What if the moment was now? What if he was dying right here and now? He wasn't ready to let him go. Hell, he'd never be ready to let him go… But please, not now. He still wanted to tell him so many things… "Say something!" was all Deniz could say and knelt back down, contemplating what to do, thought about the most stupidest things he could do right now which might save Roman one more time, which might give them more time…
"Deniz…," he heard Roman whispering and met his gaze, lost, scared, so scared that this was it.
"Please, don't go!" Deniz heart said, but out came "What is it?"
He watched how Roman simply looked back at him first, wondered if he had been crying so much because he'd been in so much pain, wanted to kick himself for not checking up on their home more often during his search for Roman, wanted to know what was wrong, if he was still in pain, if he could do something, anything to help him… Deniz got confused as Roman made room for him and gestured for him to lie down next to him. He did so and held him close as Roman leant in so much as if he wanted to hide in him. Allowing him the obviously much needed silence, even though he longed for getting to know what had happened that had left Roman so shaken up, Deniz simply held him, stroked over his back, through his hair, kissed his head from time to time, until at least an hour had passed and he could still hear Roman sniffing sometimes. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to know. "Roman…?" he carefully asked and the man in his arms simply hummed "Hm?" as a reply. "What happened?! I was waiting for you at the ice rink. You didn't show up. I turned whole Essen upside down and couldn't find you. I thought…. I thought…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead he settled for, "You scared the hell out of me… Especially since your phone's switched off!"
Roman raised his head and gave him a confused look. He then reached out to take his phone and gave it a look. "Sorry…," he muttered, put it away again and sat up to draw his legs close and run both hands over his face, then through his hair. "I had to switch it off in the hospital…"
The word took a moment to settle in. "Hospital?!" Deniz asked in shocked and sat up too, eyes wide as he looked at Roman, who just looked back wearily. "W…what were you doing in the hospital?! Did you collapse again?! Why didn't they call me?! Why…?!"
"Deniz…," Roman begged and closed his eyes, heaving a deep breath as he rubbed his temples. He looked aside as a hand came to rest on his.
"Is it…getting worse?" Deniz asked, forcing his voice to be calm and to hide his fear. "I mean…you took lots of painkillers lately and…" He frowned as Roman uttered a snort, smirked bitterly and looked down with a shake of his head. Unsure of what that meant Deniz settled for the next question. "Why hospital?" he asked and Roman met his gaze again, the odd look suddenly back in his eyes.
"Promise me you won't freak out, okay? Because I really can't need this right now…," Roman asked tiredly and Deniz tried to read in his eyes, to find anything in them that would calm his nerves and make his heart finally slow down. But there was nothing that would have helped him to do so.
"You're scaring me…," he said but decided to give Roman the time he obviously needed to gather his thoughts. "So?"
Roman sighed and leant back against the head of the bed, legs still drawn up to his body and eyes staring up ahead. "I got my things and was about to head for the Zentrum when I got a call. I thought that I was already running late and that it was you, but…"
"But?" Deniz asked softly. "Who was it?"
Roman turned his head to meet Deniz's gaze again, opening his mouth several times, closing it as he was at a loss for words. "The… The doctor who gave me the diagnosis…," he mumbled after what had appeared to be an eternity to Deniz.
"The… But why?!"
"He said I needed to come in as soon as possible and that it was important but he couldn't tell me over the phone…," Roman explained and Deniz, even though his heart had begun to beat even faster as before, couldn't recall a single time in which his voice had sounded so monotonous. He was about to ask what that doctor had wanted to tell him, feared that it was even worse than it already was, as Roman suddenly began to fight with tears again.
"Roman…?" Deniz asked and reached out to touch him but Roman gave him the sign to not do so right now.
"Uhm…," Roman began and wiped the few tears quickly away, regaining control over his emotions for the moment. "He… He told me that there was an emergency at night and that a man had died…"
Deniz frowned. "Why would he tell you that?!" he asked in confusion.
"Because, as the autopsy had shown, he died of a brain tumor…," Roman replied, looking at him with a sad smile and biting his lips as tears welled up in his eyes once more.
Deniz, however, shook his head. "I…don't understand. Why would he call you and…tell you to come in as soon as possible just to tell you…this?!"
Roman simply looked back at him and the look in the man's eyes began to seriously scare him right now. Especially since it was accompanied by this odd smile on his lips… "Roman?"
"Because…," Roman began and his voice broke as he went on, "…that man was brought in at the same time as I was after I had collapsed, and he was diagnosed with a concussion…" He closed his eyes, shaking his head as he fought for control as the shock washed over him again. He was quivering once more, his mind still unable to cope with it…
"But… I don't get it…," he heard Deniz saying and met his gaze through a blurry vision. "When he was diagnosed with a concussion…, how can he have died of a brain tumor…?!" he went on and even though something within him had understood and had already figured it out, his mind refused to understand, couldn't understand right now. He could only react as Roman pulled a face and was suddenly clinging to him as if his life depended on it.