Grabbing my journal, I sit at my desk and start to read through my entries.
I can't believe that he ignored me again. Why is he still ignoring me? Why am I not good enough for him? When I am standing right beside him, he acts as if I don't exist. I have to get his attention somehow. He never talks to me, and he acts like he has never even seen me. I will not allow him to continue to ignore me. I don't understand what he sees in her. I've watched him for several years, and have even been close enough to touch him. I have flirted and have tried my best to sway his interest in me, but nothing has worked so far. I know he isn't gay; he shows the men no more interest than he shows me. I overheard his interfering sister making him call the cops, and now that frumpy, mousey girl is involved, because she was the detective in charge of the investigation. They are all so stupid. They can't even find a tack under their own damn thumbs. They'll never expect me, because I'm that good. Edward doesn't even seem scared; then again, he has no reason to be. I know I will never hurt him, and deep down I know he knows it too. I love him so much; I just wish he knew. Why his stupid sister suggested the police is beyond me. I really don't like her. If she becomes too much of a problem, I will cut her.
I know that he won't be mad at me when he finally realizes it's me, he truly loves. He was born to be mine; no man can ever make me feel the way he does. I crave the feel of his hands on my skin; I crave the day I make him mine. I spend so many nights thinking of how good he will be to me. Even when I slide my fingers through my folds, I know they are no substitute for his, but until I make him mine, they'll have to do. The melodic sound of his velvet voice is the one I hear in my dreams. I see his wild sex hair in my mind, the color of copper, blond, and hints of red. Those eyes of his...they are so beautiful. The crystal green is beyond enticing. If that mousey interfering girl gets in my way, I will have to end her. She is so plain; I don't see why any man would want her. She is so insignificant, that I can't even say what she looks like. She better never make the mistake of crossing the line and trying to be with him again; he is mine! The thoughts of her touching him, being with him, enrages me. I see the way he looks at her, and it drives me crazy knowing I'm not the one he's looking at. She has no idea who she is messing with. I won't second guess myself if I have to hurt her, even if she is a cop. Combined with his ignoring me again, and the thoughts of her interference; I know that I will have to step up my game. He needs to know that he cannot play games with me. She has to go, and he'll regret it if she doesn't leave our love alone. I don't like triangles, never have, and that stupid, plain looking cop girl thinks she is just going to form a triangle.
Picking up my pen, I add the day's events into the journal.
I felt the rage as I picked up the metal bat and waved it in the air a bit. I've always liked the feeling of the heavy metal in my hands. I lifted the bat high above my head and swung it forward with all my might. The sound of the smashing glass brought a smile to my face. Breaking something always makes me feel better. I knocked out the driver side window, the tail lights, and the headlights; I smashed several dents into the sides of the doors, and even carved him a little note into the driver's seat. I walked away thinking of my carved words: 'You're Mine,' and a red lipstick kiss, of course. I love the way the red lipstick looked against the tan leather. I loved reminding him of whom he belongs to. I know when he sees my loving words, with the red lips; he'll know it's from me. I love that I can sit back and watch them all try to figure out who it is that did this damage to his car.
When I 'find' out about his car being wrecked, it will be easy enough to look shocked and worried by the damage. All I have to do is think about how she was in his apartment again. She is supposed to be a professional, and coming to his apartment after hours is not professional. Every time I see them together she blushes, and all I want to do is punch her in the face. Edward's smile grows whenever she's around, and that's not how things are supposed to be. Edward loves me and if I need to remind him again, I will. I will always be there, even if he doesn't see me. I can't wait for the day we are together.
I remember the first time I ever saw him, we made eye contact and he gave me that knowing smile and it told me we were going to be together one day and I was holding him to it. He walked across the campus looking so dreamy. I felt this pull toward him from day one. It was like I was a magnet. I still feel that pull every time I am in arms reach of him. I just need him lying next to me, kissing me, telling me how much he loves me. I know he will never question my love.
I lay my journal down after writing 'I love you, Edward, forever and a day.' Of course, I refresh my lipstick and kiss his name like I always do. Now having my plans set, I know I need rest. Lying back on my bed, thinking over today's events again. Seeing him with her, the rage is still fresh in my mind and causes my fists to clench. I feel the anger dissipate as I remember again the smashing of his car. Pushing my plan into overdrive, I smile now; glad that tonight's actions moved my timeline forward. He is mine, and tomorrow is the day, we will start our forever.
A/N: All characters belong to Ms. Meyers, but the actions belong to us. Thanks to Beta's Cullen Confection and .24. All mistakes are ours. First chapter should post in about a week, and we hope to stay on the scheduling of a chapter a week throughout the story. There is a wonderful banner for this story on our profile. Please read and review. Thanks, Jess and Kasi~