Episode 3: The Origins of Mocacino Tasubishi Chanchan Leakycon

On the sixth month of the 6th day of the 6th year, a baby was born. His mother was a total skank who got pregnant at 16 and his father was god. He had a pudgy ginger face and was abandoned at the doorstep of a trailer one summer night. The doorstep of the Chanchan Leakycon family, a bunch of trashy little kids and an obese mother who spent her days watching Japanese George Lopez and eating Hostess Snow Balls. The father worked multiple hours at the local brothel selling tampons and tea bagging bad customers.

They named the baby Mocacino Tasubishi and raised him to be a total dick. He went to the local trailer park pre-school. Here he learned how to kill possums and the basic alphabet all the way up to 7. Mocacino got teased as a kid for having big bushy ginger mutton chops. But he couldn't help it. Every time he tried to shave them off, they instantly grew back in a Chia-pet type fashion. At nights, Mocacino would cry himself to sleep as his bushy facial hair continued to grow.

It was the day he was transferred into Trinity Sergeant Ass-Kicking Academy that his life changed forever. The principal, Principal Asslappy, called him into his office the first day of ninth grade.

"Tasubishi," he said, "Your father is God. And you are the messiah. Here is your hall monitor uniform. Wear these epaulets with pride." Mocacino simply looked up at the aging wizard and nodded.

In high school the young ginger still had trouble making friends. His pudginess and freckles separated him from the rest of the students. Plus the fact that he was so stupid meant he was failing terribly. He also had dyslexia and was missing the part of his brain that was able to distinguish apple juice from orange juice. This caused many an incident, including the Apple-Orange Juice War of '95. He was even kicked out of the Sylvan Learning Program because of his immense stupidity. Until one day…

"Tasubishi?" Mocacino was sleeping on his desk in 10th grade, burying his fat cheeks in the comfort of his muttonchops. He had a look of sadness spread across his complexion. He was also weak, tired, and malnourished from having to walk 50 miles to the gas station in order fill his mothers snack obsession using their families food budget. All of his siblings had died because of this.

He looked up, "Yes?" A woman was standing above him. She had huge boobs and her cleavage was spread before his face. Mocacino got his first boner that day. "Who are you?" He questioned. The older woman knelt down before him. It was then that he saw that she too had huge muttonchops, just like him.

"My name is Miss. Kakashi Suckmehdick, the new school counselor, and I would like to speak to you," she said, sweetly. He lifted his head up and touched her face. She handed him a piece of paper, "Come to my house tonight at 8 pm." The woman then left him there, turned on.

Mocacino sat in shock for a few moments and exclaimed, "Dat ass."

The young chubbers arrive at a large townhouse at exactly 8 pm. He had lied to his mother and said that he was off with his fake girlfriend who he had made up to impress his obese mama. Her name was said to be Biddybachoo Hockeypucksan and "had" long blonde hair, blue eyes, a vag as wide as the Serengeti. His mother was so proud she cried big, cummy tears. But that was not the case right now as he knocked upon the large wooden door.

The busty woman greeted him again and they sat down together on a white leather couch. She poured two glasses of wine and set them on the coffee table. After a few sips and some awkward silence, they began to chat.

"So how are you?" she asked the young boy who began to wobble.

"Uhm…I'm ok. Why did you bring me here, might I ask…," Mocacino was very nervous. His wine glass shook in his hand and little drops of red wine began to fall onto the wooden floor. Feeling embarrassed, as well as turned on, he felt very uncomfortable. He noticed that every time she talked, her boobs would shake from side to side. Mocking him. This angered Mocacino greatly.

"Mocacino, we have the same rare condition. It's called, Mutton Chop-itis and only occurs in people who are related to God. I know you are the messiah, Tasubishi. We are going to make things right." She held his hand tightly. Mocacino winced.

"O..ok. Uhm, what…do you want?" Her eyes saddened and tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you sad!"

"No it's not your fault it's just that…sometimes its hard having big ass mutton chops. I only wish my mother had not had fucked God so I would not be in this position! You are my half brother, and it hurts because…I have been stalking you for months!" she cried.

Mocacino's face hardened, "…What."

"YES ITS TRUE! Every night I masturbate when you brush your teeth! I even stole some of your trash and sniff it every night, then stick it up my vag! I want to be with you Tasubishi!" She leaned in to kiss him. Mocacino punched her in the face and ran to the back door.

"BITCH!" This was the first time he had sworn, "..DOING! You're my goddamn sister and you want to fuck me? Sure, your tits are amazing but you gotta back dat ass up and get yourself checked into a mental hospital, GOD DAMMIT!" Mocacino ran away, trying to calm his boner. Yeah, the bitch turned him on but incest just don't happen in this story!

Mocacino ran back to his house and into his room. He searched the place only to find several cameras hidden in places. He patched them up with duct tape like a gangster and stripped down to his boxers. He masturbated ten times and then tried to comb out the tangles in his chops. It wouldn't work! So Mocacino fashioned a special comb out of purple plastic and a muffin. He called this the Muffin Mutton Comb, and it's the only thing that ever gets knots out of his hair. Mocacino Tasubishi changed that day. He became a MAN. His pubes grew in, he voice dropped, his freckles and fat fell off and he killed his adoptive father with a banana and a crossbow.

The next day Mocacino arrived in school, studded with pride and dressed in a brand new hall monitor uniform. He had learned to stand up to those who were fucking creepy. So all those who teased him were killed throughout the day by the hit of his brass knuckles. Only half the school survived.

Mocacino awoke in the middle of the night. He was having that dream again. The one where his creepy half sister was breathing over him and jiggling her boobs to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock. He got rid of his morning wood and changed his cum stained sheets. He touched the picture he had taken of his super crush, Sakura Sakura, who seemed to slip through his finger tips each time he tried to obtain her sexyness.

"That DAMN TAKASHI TAKASHI TAKASHI CHAN! He thinks he's so cool, with his REAL family and HOT ASS cousin! I'LL SHOW HIM! The next time he tries to get into school late I'll RIP OFF HIS FUDGIN EYE LIDS! PRAISE GOD!" Mocacino fell to his kness and prayed five times before putting on his hall monitor outfit, giving his mother a hostess snack though she sat dead and fat in the kitchen, and heading off to school.

The boy-messiah took his place in the school's office. He had a desk right next to the principals office for added effect. Many called him the principal's bitch. Those people are dead. After setting up his walkie talkie and shining his epaulets, Mocacino began strutting down the hallway. As the bell rang, he pushed people into their classrooms and waited. He waited for TCC to come as he combed through his chops. He noticed he had not been in the halls this morning so it was just a matter of time…

After two hours of unblinking guarding, the wooden doors opened. TCC and his hot cousin began to walk forward. She was giving him a hand job as they walked.

"Here we go," snarked Mocacino. He hid behind a corner until TCC and Sakura Sakura turned. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE YOU BASS TARDS!" His hand flipped out into the usual nazi fashion and the two late students stopped. "THIS is the hundreth time YOU have been late! NO EXCEPTIONS! You must see Principal Asslappy AT ONCE!"

"Dude, chill the fuck out," TCC said. "What can we do to finish this quickly, hm?"

"Uhm, well…I'm not sure. Uhm…let me date Sakura Sakura!"

"Not date…what if she blows you?"

"DEAL!" Mocacino's face and mutton chops smiled with joy. He grabbed Sakura Sakura by the hand and the two went into a broom closet where she blew him 8 billion times at once. Mocacino came so hard that the entire room filled with cum and it spilled out the door and into the halls in a wave type fashion. Mocacino breathed heavily, "SHIT that was a good blow job. He pulled up his assless chaps and buckled his belt. He saw TCC standing there in a pool of cum jacking off to porn nonchalantly.

TCC looked up, not bothering to put away his dick. "You done?" he asked.

"Yup!" he squeeled. TCC began to walk forward as Mocacino turned around to pick up the muffin comb he had dropped. Suddenly, TCC fell forward and his hard dick landed in Mocacino's ass. "DA FUCK YOU GAY SHIT?"

"Dude it was you! How do I get out?"

"I dunno, just…pull!" TCC tried to pull out but it didn't work. He tried again and again moving his dick back and forth. He suddenly felt the urge to cum and couldn't suppress it. Mocacino also got a bit turned on. The two butt fucked in the hallway as Sakura Sakura watched blankly. TCC was finally able to pull out. The two men just stared at eachother. Not knowing what to say, TCC kissed Mocacino on the mutton chop and grabbed his "cousin" by the arm.

Mocacino stood awkwardly in a pool of his and TCC's cum. He could hear TCC scream, "DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED SKANK BITCH TIT!" and Sakura Sakura replying, "Her father invented toaster strudel!" as they ran to 3rd period.

The boy-jesus leaned against a locker and sighed, "Being Gay is a sin. But I feel happier than a fruit cup shopping on a bright San Francisco day." He didn't move from that spot the entire day until he realized his mother was actually dead and held a funeral for her that night in the back yard. He stuffed her coffin with hostess snowballs.