Um I don't know what to say. This was a surprise to me. I can't imagine what it's like to loose a twin but I can imagine there is no loss that is felt so deeply. Rae~*
It had been 3 months, 2 weeks, 14 hours and 10 minutes and 45… wait no 50 seconds now since it had happened. Everyone seemed to be starting to move on yet I still felt like I was still there 3 months, 2 weeks, 14 hours and 11 minutes and 15 seconds ago when my life ended forever.
Everything is out of balance now. Like half my body has vanished. The other half tries in vain to function, with the phantom memories of the other half so clearly embedded within the mind, that it's almost able to touch this world. It is a loss no other can understand apart from the one who is lost. I was alone in a way I had never known alone. Alone has always meant too but now there is only me…
Is this how other people live? Alone? Alone seemed like a deep gasping mouth hungry and thirsty to suck away all the light in the world. People seemed like little stars twinkling in the night sky offering up so little light, so little comfort when the sun is gone. If so then was I the moon a mere reflection of the sun that feels no warmth, not light without it.
I sat in our flat staring at the floor boards, covered in a thousand strange little things, ingredients, products, stains, potions, and threads of old robes. I wondered if I gathered up all those little pieces of him and stuck them together they would all contain a little piece of his life, and bring him back.
How do you live another breath without the one who has breathed every breath with you?
I don't know how to live a half-life.
I stamped my foot down on the floor board in unexplainable rage. I was robbed, robbed of everything. The floorboard creaked, strained broke into two halve. I feel guilty so heart sickeningly guilt for having separated the two halves. Madly I tried to cast a reparo hysterically sobbing.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'll bring you back together" I cried.
The spell doesn't work on wood the right way the like with wands the two halves refuse to reform and lie like broken limbs cradled in my arms. Through my tears I noticed something pale white and harsh against the darkness like a bone.
It was a piece of parchment sitting beneath the floorboards. I reached out with shaking limbs the two pieces of wood falling to the floor forgotten. It was an envelope, sealed and fresh and on the back is printed my own name. the hand writing almost breaks me, if it was possible to break any further.
Inside there was a letter and a stone it was amber and firm in my hand.
I was almost unable to read the letter.
If you are reading this, you've become a one man show! Congratulations!
As you can see you're the only one who is going to benefit from this new adventure.
I'm sorry I know, you probably don't want to hear me joke right now, ( I would give the world to hear him joke) I know you're probably going to be angry with me.
I'm sorry we never had secrets but I had this one, I had this feeling that old Snake Face war would take a heavy price from us.
I know, I know, I'm so sorry I know so well your pain. Wherever I am it isn't heaven how can it be when only half of me is here. We are part of one soul you and I, like we are part of one mind and one body, our body was separated at 1 cell our mind as we grew but our soul, our soul has away remained a whole.
I refuse to believe that we are completely separate; I think you must take the weight of our whole soul now.
The muggles they have this thing, more crazy experiment where they weighed someone before they died and after, and they found they lost 21 grams in weight.
They say this is the weight of the soul.
When I died I lost precisely 10.5 grams, and this amber here ways exactly that. No less no more. You carry the weight of our soul within you, but this stone is always a reminder that I am with you.
My best friend
Whatever will we do now?
Live for me will you. Live for us.
I love you.
Your Brother Fred
I curled up onto the floor and wept. The stone was cradled to my chest.
For the rest of my life I never discarded that stone. When I married, when I had my first child and my second child the stone remained round my neck a comforting weight against my chest. When I had grandchildren it was there and when I died I asked for it to be embedded into our gravestone.
Half a soul heavy.
When I joined Fred in death, there was no weight anymore.
Please review, I will be most thankful.