I Swear

Oh Jack, I'm so sorry bud, so sorry. You know I didn't ever wanna hurt you, and now I can see that's all I ever done. You ain't to blame here, I am. You had every right to blame me for what you do when I'm not around. S'all my fault. I never should have let you outta my sights after Brokeback. All I been thinking on is me, I never stopped to think about how you was feeling all these years. I won't never understand why you keep coming back when you got your life in Texas. I ain't got nothing to offer you yet you keep saying let's get together. For sixteen years you've been asking. That's gotta say somethin' about how ya feel. Oh Jack, please don't quit me; yer all I've got left. My girls are nearly grown an' they're gonna have their own lives. Jack...I love ya bud. I know I ain't never said that but by now you gotta know what I been feeling all these years. An' in yer eyes I can see you feel it too. I know ya love me an' all I ever done is hurt you. No more, bud, not no more. I got some thinkin' to do...with the child support finishin' soon maybe...you gotta know I want it as much as you. I'm scared of ya gettin' hurt, but...if I knew you was alive an' didn't wanna see me no more, I...it'd kill me. Please say you'll be there in November, Jack. We can talk 'bout this. I can't stand it, so...I gotta fix it. I know I hurt ya bud, but...please, give me a chance to make it up to ya. Please Jack, just give me a chance. I'll make it up to ya, Jack. I swear.

Oh Ennis, oh my friend, I'm so sorry. If I could take back everythin' I just said, an' everythin' I've done, I would, you know I would. I love ya so much, Ennis, always have. I can see it in yer eyes ya feel the same, even if you ain't got the words. It ain't the sex that kept me comin' back here, it's bein' with you. I only feel half alive when I ain't with you. I'm sorry I blew up at ya, I was hurt about August, 'cos that then makes it six months till I can see ya again, instead of three. I hate the thought of not seein' ya for six months. Don't worry, friend, I ain't gonna quit ya. I can't just walk away after twenty years from the best thing that ever happened to me. I know we can work this out. I'll meet you in November at Pine Creek. I'll be there, an' we can talk. You know as well as I do we can't go on like this, but I don't wanna stop what we have, so...there's only one solution, bud. Ennis, you just said you can't stand it no more, so that means we gotta fix it. This is killin' us both, an' we gotta do somethin', friend. I know yer scared after what ya saw, but you gotta believe me that I think we can make this work. You ain't gettin' rid of me. None of those guys ever meant to me what you do, especially not him. He ain't half the man you are. I love you, an' that's a fact. I'll be at Pine Creek, an' I know we can work this out. We can make this work Ennis, I know we can. I'll be there. I swear.