Author: Black Fire
Summary: A henchman walks in on Two-Face during a one night stand.
Author's Note: Title partly inspired by the fact that "Highway to Hell" was on the radio when I was roughing this story out in my head.
Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters.
Ronny ran, his feet pounding down the shadowy, crumbling hallway. One of the look-outs had seen Batman skulking around the rooftops, watching the hideout. Ronny had gotten the short straw, and it was his job to tell the boss. As he approached the dark, stained door at the end of the hallway where Two-Face stayed, he could hear heavy, hungry, breathing, and low musical laughter. He only hesitated for a second. He had stopped being shy about walking in on sex when he was fifteen. Two-Face had a temper like a bear-trap, but he would probably rather have Ronny come through the door and ruin his good time than Batman.
Ronny burst into the room. 'Ooo, two redheads, go boss!' he though as he got his first glimpse at Two-face's guests. 'But, boy, that lady has some broad shoulders . . . .'
He skidded to a stop, a look of horror on his face as he realized that they weren't any ordinary girls. Two-Face was in bed with the beautiful but scary Poison Ivy, and the Riddler.
He took a stumbling step backwards. "Oh, boss, no. That's, that's sick . . . ."
Pam and Edward looked at each other, and shared an expression of smug, eye-rolling contempt.
Two-Face didn't say anything. He slowly sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed. His feet hit the floor with a dull thud. He stared at Ronny, and without looking away, fished his coin off the nightstand and began to flip it.
"Just tell me one thing," he said in his deadest, cockiest growl. "Are ya really that surprised?"
Ronny stood stunned and terrified, slowly realizing he'd just insulted the sex-lives of three super-villains.
"N-no, I guess not," he stuttered.
"Good. Now what are you doing here?"
"Uh, Batman! Batman's outside, staking out the place."
"Well, don't just stand there. Get him!"
"Uh, sure thing boss." He drew his gun and charged gratefully from the room.