"Good afternoon, this is Bella from 'Books, Buns and Beyond.' How may I help you?"
Oh fuck, reality just hit.
My shop's name sounded like a porn shop. Bella's buns? I shuddered at the thought.
"Bella, it's me." I swore I could actually hear her bounce up and down. She was a skittish version of Tigger.
"Oh hi 'me,' are you ok?" Alice giggled at my reply to her, but then her tone swapped to a serious one.
"Nope and you won't be soon either." What the hell has she done now? I hated it when she used this tone. Hang on; she was taking Lizzy to the park. Panic and bile rose in my throat.
"What do you mean? Is Lizzy ok?"
"She had a little bit of an accident at the park, she's ok, just some scrapes and bruises, but I took her to the ER anyway just to be sure," Alice replied in a rushed voice.
"For Christ sake Ali, you have had her for two hours!" This happens every time they go out, why I let them out together I will never know.
"Hey, it's not my fault she inherited your 'klutz' gene."
"Ok, I'm on my way," I huffed as I grabbed my purse from under the counter. Luckily I didn't have any customers in.
"Bell-." I knew she was going to say something else, but I didn't have the time to talk to her, so I hung up. I locked up the shop and headed to the hospital. I swore that if she ended up here once more this year they were going to suspect me of something. Lizzy had indeed inherited my 'klutz' gene, as Ali called it, and I felt so sorry for her.
I finally pulled up to a space and parked up. I walked into the ER and approached the nurses' station.
"Hello, it's me again." I'd lived in this town long enough to know Mrs. Cope, the receptionist, personally.
"Hello again, Bella." She grinned at me and I knew what she was thinking.
"How is she?" I groaned, dropping my head onto the desk in front of me.
"It's nothing that won't heal itself in a few days, if she stays off of the skateboards." Oh god.
"You're kidding me?"
"Room number?" I huffed after I finished filling in some forms. Personally, I think that they should just keep a photo copy of them all.
"Room 1591," she said with a smirk as she pointed down the corridor.
I walked down the corridor while still huffing. I think I might superglue Lizzy's feet to the floor, at least then she wouldn't end up hurting herself.
"Honestly, I don't know how you manage to end up here more than me. And Ali, what were you thinking? You know she's like me, why on earth did you let her on a skateboard?" I rambled on as I took my coat off and walked over to the bed that Lizzy was sat on.
"How are you sweet pea?" I asked as I bent down to give her a kiss.
"I'm fine momma, I had fun," she replied with a huge smile.
"Yeah, until you came in here." I glared at Alice.
"Bel-la," Alice sang with the biggest grin on her face imaginable.
"What Al-i? Don't think you have got away with this, I'm still cross with you," she tried to mouth something to me, but I didn't have a clue what she was getting at.
"S-D," she hissed jerking her head toward the door I just came in. I turned round and froze, literally and metaphorically, froze to the spot.
"Momma, you said a bad word." Yeah, like that was the biggest problem I had right at this moment.
"Hi, Miss Swan, I'm Dr Cullen."
~ (*) ~ FLASH BACK ~ (*) ~
"I want a baby," I said calmly as I took a mouthful of my morning coffee.
Alice's reaction was exactly how I imagined it would be, but it still didn't prepare me enough for the mess she would make. She sprayed her coffee across the table and unluckily right into my lap. I must remember not to tell her shocking news when she had a mouthful of fluids.
"Come again?" She asked as her eyes bulged from their sockets and her jaw hung slack. I couldn't help but grin at her. It was a very rare occurrence that I actually rendered her speechless, so I was going to enjoy this as much as I could.
"You are so going to clean this up before the next lot of customers comes in," I said to her while pointing at the splattered coffee covered table.
"And you are going to wash my jeans," I continued with a mock scowl.
"Oh hell no, back track, you want a what?" She glared at me and I swear that if she were standing, her hands would be on her hips with her foot tapping incessantly.
"I want a baby," I repeated myself carefully and clearly, watching her eyebrows rise in shock.
"What drugs are you on?"
"I'm not on any drugs Alice; you should know that by now."
"I don't understand."
"Alice, I'm 24, I need a baby."
"Why? I mean don't get me wrong, I like babies, but why now?"
"Because I'm not getting any younger."
"What? Bella you're 24 for fucks sake, women are having babies into their 40's, and you have plenty of time."
"I know that Alice, but I don't want to be in my mid 40's, chasing after a baby and have hardly any energy or whatever to keep up."
"So you want a baby when you're 24 so you will have more energy?"
"You're missing one thing."
"I don't need one."
"Bella, I know you did biology 101, I know you know how things work, and you kinda need a man."
"Well I know I need one, but I don't need one, if you get what I mean."
"Nope, you lost me on the part where you don't need a man bit."
"You have got to be joking?" She laughed at me.
"Nope, I looked it up. You just look for a decent fertility clinic, choose the sperm and get it put in."
"Bella, you make it sound like a vending machine."
"I suppose it's not that different."
"But what about romance, love, marriage?"
"What about it? I don't need romance or marriage."
"And what about love?"
"I will love the baby and it will love me."
"I meant love from a man."
"Oh please Alice! Did you know 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce?"
"You can't keep fucking your rabbit Bella; you waste too many batteries for a start…"
"I use rechargeable if you must know."
"A, that was TMI even for me and B, you need companionship as well as love from a man."
"But I have you for that."
"Bella, at least think it over, please. This is a huge step."
"I have thought it over. I want to do it Alice."
"Fine, but will you at least talk to a professional before you go ahead and do it on your own?"
"I'm not doing it on my own; I have you, don't I?"
"Of course you do sweetie."
"Good, because we have an appointment next Thursday."
"Yeah, I really need you to come to this appointment with me."
"Why do you have those puppy dog eyes going on, Bella?"
"Well, I kinda put you down as my girlfriend…"
"Well, it would look better if we went as a couple than if I went as a single woman, don't you think?"
"Talk about dropping me in at the deep end Bella."
"Alice, it's not like we have to do anything when we get there."
"I fucking hope not."
The following Tuesday came around quickly and I was comfortably sitting down with a coffee before starting work.
"Bella, pack up. You have an appointment with a Mr. Whitlock in an hour."
"Who the hell is that?"
"He's a counselor who deals with couples who have fertility issues," she smiled at me and I rolled my eyes. I could have fought with her over this, but I wouldn't waste my time, she wouldn't have listened to me anyway.
"Come on, you did promise to see someone before we went to the clinic."
"Don't huff at me, you decided to go through with all of this."
"Ok I will stop huffing."
He was a nice man. He had a soothing voice and I suppose some would call him handsome. He spoke to us as a 'couple' for a little while and then with just me. I came out of his office feeling very happy that I was indeed, making the right choice and Alice went in to talk to him.
Half an hour later there was still no sign of her. I was just about to knock when she came out of the room, giggling.
"Have fun Alice?" I scowled at her.
"You and him," I nodded to the door she just closed.
"We just chatted a bit and swapped numbers, that's all," she tried to act innocently, but her clothes told another story.
"And bodily fluids, by the look of you."
"What do you mean?"
"Alice, your shirt buttons are done up wrong and you skirt is tucked into your thong."
"Just go to the bathroom and get yourself sorted out, you're supposed to be my girlfriend," I huffed again.
"I forgot about that," she mused with glassy eyes.
"I'm not surprised."
"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice asked as she walked into the kitchen.
"Having a bit of Dutch courage," I replied as I gulped yet another mouthful of brandy from my glass. I really did want a baby and I didn't need the drink for courage to actually do this, it was for coming face to face with all the needles that I would have to have sticking into me.
"Bella, you have that for when you are going out on a first date, or when you need to open up important exam results, not when you are just about to ask for someone's sperm. They might not see you if you're not sober," she glared at me as she took the glass from me and threw the contents down the sink.
"Shit, I didn't think about that." Turning up drunk to request a baby isn't the best thing to do.
"Do we have time?"
"I will put it in a travel mug for you, come on," Alice said as she went through the cupboards to look for a mug.
Soon after she fixed me a strong coffee, we got into the car and made our way to the clinic. I was really excited about doing this, but at the same time I was nervous. We parked up and started the short walk to the clinic, enjoying the twilight lit sky across the horizon. It was really pretty tonight, but it was a shame that the lights of the city masked the stars.
"Bella, are you really serious about this?" Alice stopped walking and looked at me with genuine concern etched in her face.
"Yes Alice," I said for the millionth time as I linked arms with her as we walked to the clinic.
"As long as you're sure…"
I was 100 percent sure I knew what I was doing.
"Soon dear, soon."
I giggled at her words. I was so grateful that she was here by my side while I was doing this.
"I hope-oh god I'm so sorry," I said as I crashed head on into a solid chest.
"Not to worry," the smooth, sexy voice answered as he held out a hand to me to steady me. The sound of his voice sent warm shivers all over my skin and I think I might have actually shuddered.
"Did I hurt you?" I stuttered as I looked into the vivid green eyes. Holy fuck. I wanted to run my tongue over his five o'clock shadow and his hair! I could so knot my fingers to the roots of those strands…Shit, he was talking again.
"Not at all..?" Oh, he wanted my name.
"Oh…Bella," I muttered.
"I'm Edward," he held out his hand for me to shake and I gently took it, not trusting myself to only do just that.
"Hi, Edward," I replied coyly.
"I'm Alice." Trust Alice to butt her nose in.
"Hi, Alice," he replied with a grin as he shook her hand.
"Bella, we have to get going or we're going to be late," she nodded her head towards the clinic doors and I blushed. What the fuck must he think of me? Oh yeah, a lesbian. Shit. Well there goes my idea of hot sex.
"Oh right," I mumbled, not looking at Edward when I answered Alice.
"So, I'll see you around?" he asked carefully.
"Sure." Like we would bump into each other again. He was pure sex on legs and I was just plain old me, pretending to be a lesbian in the hopes of having a stranger's baby.
Yeah, I didn't have high hopes that we would see each other again. He walked off and he looked back once with a grin before Alice dragged me into the clinic.
We were shown into an office to wait for my – our – doctor.
"Alice, I want what he left," I whispered to her as we were handed a bunch of forms to fill in.
"Huh?" she asked as she started filling in the sections for her details.
"He just came out of the clinic," I hissed as she looked up at me.
"And, he could be a delivery guy or something," she shrugged as she placed the pen between her teeth with a concentrated look in her eyes.
"I don't care, I want his genes," I was desperate I'll admit it, but how could I not be? He was like a walking Adonis!
"Or be in his jeans," Alice gave a quick snort/giggle, oh how lady like.
"Don't start," I said with a warning smirk.
"Not starting nothing, promise," she did the childlike lock lips and throw away the key motion and I giggled at her.
The next set of forms had me bouncing in my seat: Donor Match Form Recipient Information
"Tall," I got her to mark.
"Green eyes," she giggled.
"Bronze hair," oh God, the hair.
"Sexy voice," I said seductively.
"That's not listed as an option, Bella," Alice grinned.
Shit, she's right.
"Well, that's their fault, not mine," I replied hotly.
"Beautiful lips," another thought came to mind. His glorious soft looking red lips. If I could just run my tongue…
"That's not an option either," she laughed.
"Shit," I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest. So childlike, I know.
"When he shook my hand, his fingers were soft," Alice said with raised eyebrows.
"Ok, so mark down soft fingers," I answered.
"That's not what I meant Bella," she laughed again as I looked puzzled.
"Well, what did you mean?"
"He must be well educated, to have hands that soft, you know, in an office or something."
"Or he's as meticulous with beautifying creams as you are?"
"And I have beautiful skin to show for it, unlike some," she smiled as she ran her fingers over her cheeks.
"And what's mine, sand paper?"
"No, just not baby soft."
"Jeeze, thanks for the compliment."
"You're welcome," we both giggled.
"Ok ladies, have you thought about what you would like to have in a donor?" We were brought out of our giggling fit by a tall blonde woman walking into the room with a fake smile plastered on her face.
"I want the freshest sperm possible!" Ok, maybe I shouldn't have been that blunt, but I wanted his sperm and by god I was going to get it.
"Come again?" She looked confused at me and Alice let out a short giggle.
"You know, the most recently deposited. I don't want them to turn out like frozen vegetables." That just sounded daft, even to my own ears.
"You lost me." She should have a neon sign over her head 'blonde bimbo sits here.'
"I don't want them to get freezer burn because they have been in the freezer too long."
It's true. Leave something frozen for too long and it tastes horrible. Saying that, semen tastes horrible anyhow, but I want them to be in tip top condition to meet my eggs.
"It doesn't work like that, Miss Swan I can assure you that our sperm never have freezer burn." Did she just snort? Ew!
"That's beside the point, this treatment is costing a small fortune and I want the freshest," I wasn't going to be budged on this.
I wanted his sperm.
"Ok, well we will follow your request as to what you would like from the donor. Did you manage to read through all the literature we sent you?"
"Yep, it all looks good," I replied as I tried to memorize everything my body was going to be put through over the next few weeks.
"And you have all your information from your gynecologist?"
"Full medical done and I have been given the go ahead," I said proudly as I handed over my file for her to read.
"Ok, you are due your period tomorrow. On day three of your cycle, you have to start injecting yourself with the treatment. This will last for ten days. After that, you will go through the egg retrieval process. We will inject the chosen sperm into the eggs we collect and leave them for five days until they get to the blastocyst stage. Then you are called back in to have the embryo's placed in your uterus. Any remaining embryos that are viable are frozen for future use if you would like to try for a sibling. Then all you have to do is wait fourteen days after implantation to have a blood test to see if you are pregnant."
"And the remaining embryos won't get freezer burn?"
"Now, are you ok to do the injections yourself?"
"Alice has agreed to administer the injections for me," I said with a grimace. Bloody needles.
"And are you ok with that Ms. Brandon?"
"Yep, I think so. I just stick Bella with a small prick and she gets pregnant." Ok, that comment was not lost on me and I nudged her with my elbow.
"So in just over a month, she could be pregnant?" Alice asked with a smile.
"Hopefully," the blonde answered.
"That's so cool," Alice said dreamily.
"The wonders of modern technology, hey," I said as we were shown out of the room.
"Yeah," Alice answered.
Fast forward 9 months:
I was in my own version of hell.
Emmett – my OB/GYN - was stuck in traffic while I was stuck with a nurse who belonged on the set of a Monty python film. She was a trainee and I wanted to kill her. They say that first labors took hours, I had been in hospital less than an hour and I wanted to push already! What the fuck? Ok, so my waters broke ages ago, but some stupid bitch on the phone told me to stay at home until my contractions were five minutes apart. I did do that and now I was uncontrollably pushing while I had the bitch from hell telling me to pant like a fucking dog!
"Miss Swan, you need to push her out, not suck her back up."
I seriously hope she did not say that!
"Suck her back up? You think I have a Kirby vacuum cleaner built in up there or something?" I growled, thinking of ways to top her off and put her remains in the clinical waste.
"Well hello there ladies," Dr. Fucking Emmett strolled in the room with a Star buck's coffee. Asshole!
"You took your fucking time," I growled again.
"Well, I was busy Bella." Yeah, getting your ration of coffee.
"How is she doing Lauren?"
"She keeps sucking the baby back up," she huffed! Fucking HUFFED!
"I didn't fucking do that," I spat at her, giving her death glares.
"She's right Lauren; the baby will naturally slide back up the birth canal until it gets far enough to be pushed out. Think of it as one step forward two steps back." Well no one told me that fucking bit about giving birth!
"Oh," she said while her shoulders slumped. She actually looked disappointed, like she had the fucking right to that. I was the one pushing out a basketball sized baby!
"Yes, fucking 'oh.' Now will you shut the fuck up so I can have this baby in peace?" I spat again.
"Well you're the one who's making all the noise," she said in retaliation, pushing me past my limit.
"Alice, get her out before I end up doing time for murder before this one decides to make an appearance," I ordered Alice through gritted teeth and I even tried to get off the bed to hit the nurse.
"I'm on it," Alice jumped up and tried to usher her out of the room.
"Hey, I have to learn this somewhere," she protested.
"But not in here, not if you value that recent nose job," Alice said with a glare and the nurse actually covered her nose to protect it.
"And you can shut up, this is fucking painful," I growled at Emmett as he chuckled while setting up a tray of instruments.
"It can't be that bad, Bella, now push."
I tried my hardest to push and fuck me did it hurt, but Emmett's words rang through my mind.
"It can't be that bad? Emmett, do you have a vagina?"
"Ever had a blow torch aimed full blast onto your clitoris?" He cringed and I internally giggled, which is a good thing as I felt that my body was splitting in two.
"Then how about you flop your dick out and I call maintenance for one and we see if it feels simi-LAR!" I didn't see the look on his face as I scrunched up my eyes while I pushed down.
"Come on, Bella, push her out and we will continue this later," Alice said in a caring tone.
"I hate fucking men," I hollered as I felt her head crown.
"But you're a lesbian," Emmett chuckled again. I looked at the tray and thought about grabbing the scalpel and turning him into a woman.
"Really, you think Alice packs sperm in her hair straighteners? For fuck sake Emmett you're a doctor, I needed a man to get into this state."
QUITE A FEW HOURS LATER:
Elizabeth was born just a few minutes after my blow-torch explanation and she was beautiful. I knew straight away that I had Edward's baby, she had his exact hair coloring. She was just perfect.
I was just drifting off to sleep in my room on the postnatal ward when I heard a soft knock on the door. An older lady who I had never seen before stuck her head in.
"I'm the family planning nurse, I was just on my rounds and I see that you have recently given birth."
Oh you have got to be shitting me! Family planning?
"You want me to give you an answer to that?" I said as I looked over into the crib to see my beautiful baby sleeping.
"Well, I know you're tired, so I will just get on with it. What were your chosen methods of contraception after your six weeks are up?"
"You're joking?" She has to be? I just pushed out a seven pound baby through a tiny whole less than six hours ago and she wants to talk to me about sex and contraception.
No, of course she isn't joking.
"Well, as I tore pretty badly and ended up having several rather painful stitches, I won't be having sex for quite a while. Now, if I were to have the opportunity at any point with a man, my chosen form would be two house bricks and the man's bollocks in between them. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get some rest before my daughter wakes up because my tits already feel like they are full of concrete and I feel like I'm still having contractions because some stupid idiot forgot to mention the fact that you have after pains!"
She left the room in quite a hurry and I couldn't help but giggle. Only problem was that when I giggled, either my lady parts or tits screamed out in pain.
~ (*) ~ END OF FLASH BACK ~ (*) ~
"I-er-I-ah-fuck," Well what the fuck was I supposed to say now?
"Momma, bad words."
Thank-you, Lizzy, I know I swear too much.
"I'm sorry baby. Alice, get that look off your face, now." I looked over to Alice and she had the biggest shit eating grin on her face. Bitch.
"What, I'm the innocent one in all of this," she answered me, holding her hands up in surrender.
"Dr Cullen, would you mind talking to me outside for a moment?" I asked him through gritted teeth. I was not going to be discussing this in front of my daughter or Alice.
"Of course Miss Swan or is it Mrs. Brandon?" he asked kindly in his Godly smooth voice.
"Don't go there," I growled.
"Ok, how about we go to my office while Ms. Brandon fills in the forms to get Lizzy discharged?"
"Take your time you two," Alice said in a sing-song voice and at that moment I could have really slapped her.
We walked down the corridor to his office and he motioned for me to sit down.
"What are you doing here?" I blurted out the first 'clean' thing that came into my mind.
"I work here Bella," he said calmly.
How could he be so calm?
"How do you remember my name Edward?" Shit.
"I could ask you the same question. I would also like to ask the question of why there is a three year old girl who looks exactly like me sitting in the ER?"
"Well-I-um-I. You don't have the right to ask that question, you donated, I used," I pouted like Lizzy.
"But why mine?" He raised a perfect eyebrow at me. Oh how sexy that looked.
"You looked pretty." Why oh why could I not get my brain to mouth filter to work?
"Pretty? I don't know whether I should take that as an insult or a compliment," he chuckled.
"Compliment," I blurted out.
"Really?" He smirked at me and I think I might have got a little 'damp' down there, yep, definitely damp.
"Don't look at me like that. How the hell did this all work out like this anyway? Out of all the thousands of places you could be, you have to be where I spend most of my time."
"You work here too?" he asked.
"No, between my klutz gene and Lizzy's, we spend a lot of time here."
"So?" He asked after a moment's silence.
"We're not going to talk about this?" He asked.
"Edward as I said, you donated, I used. What do you want to happen? You want to start dating, get married and have more kids? Christ, I know nothing about you."
"And I know nothing about you, yet we share a daughter."
Way to state the obvious.
"That you shouldn't know about," I replied.
"But I do now."
"Edward, don't you think this is all rather awkward?"
"Yes, but the situation is here now." He had a good point.
"So what do we do?" How the hell would I know!
"Well how the fuck should I know?"
"Lizzy's right, you have a problem with your mouth," he grinned at me. I could so knock that look off of his face, preferably with my lips. Bella, STOP it!
"Shut it, I'm stressed," I spat. I was cross with him and I was even more cross with my dirty mind and my even dirtier body.
"When I get stressed, I got to the bar for a drink, fancy one?"
Huh? Sexy doctor said what?
"Ha, when I get stressed, I try and drown myself in the bath. I can't remember when I last went out. That's what parents do, give up their single lifestyles. You think you could do that?"
"I don't have a lifestyle, I just work," he pouted! Ah-ha, that's where Lizzy gets it from!
"But you just said - ,"
"I know what I just said. It was a polite way to ask you out." Oh.
"Would you?" he prompted.
"Go out for a drink with me?"
"I don't know." I didn't. Christ, we shared a daughter, but have never had a date, or sex and this is the longest conversation we have had!
"Bella, we can't just ignore this."
"Momma, I ready," Lizzy said as she toddled into the office, pulling Alice in with her.
"And I need to go and reopen the shop." Alice grinned happily.
"Oh hello dear," a couple came into his office just behind Alice and Lizzy. Who the fuck were these people?
"Actually, I think I might stay for this," Alice laughed and sat on the floor by the door.
"Oh fuck," Edward groaned.
"And you said I had a bad mouth," I gave him a sly grin.
"Yes, language son." Oh my God, that explains it. They were his parents.
"Fuck," I sighed.
Could this get any worse?
"You were saying?" Edward gave a small chuckle under his breath.
"And who's this beauty?" the lady asked Lizzy.
"Hi, my name's Lizzy," she said proudly.
"Well aren't you a sweetheart," his dad said with a smile.
"And this my momma," Lizzy said, pointing to me.
"Hello dear," his mom took my hand and shook it.
"And I'm Alice," Alice piped up, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
"Is it me or is this office getting smaller?" I groaned.
"It's just you," Alice said with a giggle. Right, time to take her out of the equation and have grown up talk.
"Alice, can you take Lizzy out to the waiting room for me please?"
"Sure, hey Edward, now that you're finally back together, fancy coming round for dinner one night?" Oh hell.
"Fine, come on Lizzy; let's go see how many sick people we can spot." Lizzy took her hand and they both left. I looked round to see a smile plastered on Edward's face. Git.
"So, Son, going to tell us what has been going on?" his father asked him and Edward turned a pale white color while giving me a pleading look. I take it mommy and daddy didn't know about his 'sperm donation' activities.
"It's my fault Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Edward and I fooled around in the summer a few years ago and I didn't realize that antibiotic medication for my ear infection interfered with the contraceptive I was on. Anyway, we didn't exactly swap each other's details, so when we went our separate ways, I left with a baby on board, if you get my meaning and he went to med school."
"Oh," his mom said quietly as she sat slowly into a chair.
"Are you ok dear?" his father asked with concern as he bent down to kneel in front of her.
"Yes I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in."
"I know sweetheart; being told you're a grandmother is hard going, but don't worry, you still don't look a day over forty." Aw, how sweet!
"It's not that."
"Then what is it dear?"
"It's just that I always thought you were gay!" she said as she looked up to Edward. Well I sure as hell didn't expect that!
"WHAT?" Edward shouted out.
"Well it's not like you have ever brought a girl home and you are rather pretty." See, he's pretty.
"Oh for god's sake, I'm not pretty and I'm certainly not gay!" he huffed as he slumped down into his office chair and raked his fingers through his glorious, just been fucked hair.
"You are a little bit pretty," I muttered.
"Bella," he warned. Him, warning me? I so don't think so.
"What Edward? Oh and Mrs. Cullen, I can assure you that your son is definitely not gay," I said with a smirk and turned to see Edward looking shell shocked. Ha, take that Dr Cullen.
"He's definitely not?" his mother asked.
"Oh no, what he can do with his tou-,"
"Enough," Edward growled.
"Oh sweetheart, it's so good to hear you have your daddy's skills as a lover as well as a doctor." I think I actually saw his mom shed a tear.
"For fuck sake, I really don't need this at the moment," Edward huffed as he rubbed his hands over his eyes.
"Son, language, please. There are ladies present," his father reprimanded him with a grin. I think I really liked his parents.
"Ladies who are discussing my sexuality and bedroom abilities," Edward huffed again.
"There's no need to be shy son."
"Dad, I haven't seen Bella in well over three years. Less than an hour ago I found out I have a daughter. My mother announces that she thought I was gay and now you are all discussing what I do in the bedroom in the same way you discuss paint choices for walls. I'm not shy, I'm stressed."
"Well how about you go for a drink? Weren't you just saying that that's what you did when you were stressed?" I asked, in a voice laced with innocence.
"You're an alcoholic?" his mom half screamed.
"But doctors are always stressed, that means you must always be drinking. Does your brother drink too?" she asked with a sob.
"No mom. Please calm down and Bella, stop giving my mom ammo to attack me with."
Bella 10, Edward 0.
Oh fuck, Dr Cullen.
Rephrase, Bella minus 10, Edward 100.
"Hang on; what's your brother's name?" I asked carefully.
"Dr. Cullen." Well duh!
"Well I know that you idiot."
"Holy sh – ugar."
"He was my OB/GYN with Lizzy."
"Wait up, he got to stick his fingers in there and deliver my daughter, but you won't come out for a drink with me?"
"Edward, the last time I had a drink with you around, I ended up pregnant," I retaliated daringly.
Well, it wasn't like I was going to spill the beans on how and where we met, was I?
"You got her drunk to take advantage of her!" his father sounded shocked.
"No dad. Oh God, I can't do this. Mom, dad, go home. I will call you later. Bella, we WILL swap details now and I will call you tomorrow. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to say goodbye to my daughter."
"Bella, I think it would be a very good idea to get to know you, how about you come round for dinner?"
"I would love to, Mrs. Cullen," I said with a grin as Edward dropped his head to his desk with a loud bang and covered it with his arms.
"Oh Bella, call me Esme, or you could call me mom, I mean you have given birth to my granddaughter after all," she said happily as we all walked out of the office.
"Oh-I…" Well now what was I supposed to say?
"Hey daddy, can I go home now?" Oh she didn't, no, she couldn't of? I was really going to kill Alice when we got home. Poor Edward look like he was going to faint and his parents just smiled sweetly at her. The universe hates me.
"Yes, Lizzy, you can go home now," Edward said after a few seconds of thought.
"But you have to promise me one thing?" he said as he knelt down to her height.
"Yes?" she said expectantly.
"Find a way to shut your mom up so I don't get a headache," he said with a grin.
Bastard. I will teach him to mess with a mom.
"Edward?" I whispered once he stood back up.
"What Bella?" he whispered back.
"If you have just seen me for the first time in three years, how am I going to explain to your parents that I'm eleven weeks pregnant with your second child?"
Oh his face was priceless.
I wondered if the CCTV system caught it?