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The credits were scrolling on the screen of Maura's TV before Jane even realized the movie was over. Jane frowned slightly at having lost track of so much time.
Well she is a pretty amazing kisser…I can see how imagining that would be distracting…
"Was something wrong with the movie Jane?" Maura was leaning on her elbow so she could look into Jane's dark brown eyes. "I thought it was quite charming and I'm glad we watched it instead of the wolves documentary, but I'd still like to see that this weekend."
"Do you ever think about that day Maura?" Jane asked as she stared off across the room at nothing in particular.
"What day Jane? You need to be more specific when asking questions." Maura's lips were pursed, she didn't like it when Jane was vague.
"You know…that day…"
"Are you referring to the day you were shot?" Her brow furrowed slightly, the memory was painful for both of them despite everything turning out alright.
"No…well yes…I guess." Jane let out a frustrated sigh.
"You exhaled sharply, your frontalis muscle is contracted as are your corrugator supercilii, you aren't looking directly at me and you seem distressed. I take it this is a subject you want to both discuss and avoid simultaneously." Maura's voice was soft and non-pressuring, she placed a hand on Jane's heart and could feel it race.
"Yeah…and I want to know why you haven't brought it up." She looked at Maura pleading with the M.E to understand what she was saying.
"Jane you have made it clear you know shooting yourself was not your only option. You don't think of yourself as a hero even though you saved Frankie. I didn't think you wanted to talk about it anymore, especially after you found out they were holding a ceremony." Maura tilted her head, trying to read Jane's expression and understand what her best friend was telling her. She was a particularly difficult person for Maura to read, her feelings for the detective were potentially clouding her judgment.
Jane sighed again and looked down at the way they were laying, she knew she liked their cuddling in more than a friendly way, it turned Jane on to have Maura on her like that. The way their bodies fit together, the way they pressed in all the right places. There was something more to their friendship, the unspoken level of comfort they had around each other. Ever since they kissed that morning Jane wanted nothing more than to talk about it figure out what happened. Most importantly, and to Jane, most terrifying was the fact that Jane wanted it to happen again and again. She wanted to keep kissing Maura.
But Maura never brought it up, Jane assumed it was because she was embarrassed or had decided she made a mistake. As time went on Jane began to wonder if she hadn't made up the whole thing in her head as part of some PTSD reaction to being shot.
Wishful thinking or some shit like that.
When Jane looked into Maura's hazel eyes she smiled in an almost defeated way. Maura's eyes were especially green in this light, there was an emotion there Jane had not expected. There was a question in her eyes, but at the same time it wasn't a question, it was more of a plea.
Is it a plea for me to go on or drop it?
"You know what? Never mind. I'm just talking out of my ass. Let's get some food Maura, like desert type food." Jane flashed a goofy grin that she hoped covered the disappointment she felt. As much as she loved Maura she wouldn't risk their friendship just so she could feel the doctor's soft lips on hers again.
Maura looked disappointed, "Language Jane. It's a little late for desert don't you think? It's best to not eat for at least half an hour before going to bed."
Jane thought for a moment, "Then we'll walk while we eat it. Doesn't that help with the digestion or something?" Jane winked at Maura, she knew the other woman couldn't resist a late night ice cream sandwich, a love they both shared.
Maura thought for a moment, "Fine, but let me grab my sweater it's going to be cold out there." Maura got up off of Jane and the couch and went in search of one of her designer sweaters.
Jane stood up and went to the kitchen to grab their treats, when she shut the freezer door and turned around she caught Maura looking at her intently, as if trying to diagnose her. "What? Did get something on these jeans?" Jane looked down at herself and tried to see what had Maura's rapt attention.
"What? Oh. No there isn't anything on you jeans." Maura shook her head and smiled, then added, "yet."
"Haha very funny. I do carry a gun, you know that right?" She glared at Maura but smiled slightly to let the other woman know she was kidding.
"Mmmm I am very well aware of that." Jane was taken aback by the way Maura practically purred.
"Yeah…cause…I'm a Detective…and…yeah…" She wasn't quite sure what was happening but she was acutely aware of where all the heat in her body seemed to be flooding.
"Shall we?" Maura asked as she motioned her head towards the door.
"Ummm yeah…walk…right…" Jane shook her head in an attempt to clear it. She grabbed her jacket off the coat rack by the front door and shrugged into it.
Maura Isles is not flirting with you right now. Is she?
Jane opened the front door and let Maura out first, they headed in their regular direction and walked close. It was colder outside than Jane had expected but was glad she grabbed her leather jacket on the way out. They ate the ice cream sandwiches in silence, watching a couple kiss goodnight on a porch.
Maura shivered and Jane glanced at the smaller woman. "Cold Maur?"
The blonde nodded, "It's colder than I expected. I should have grabbed a jacket of some sort." Jane laughed at Maura's scrunched face.
"Do you find my dropping body temperature amusing Jane?" She looked up at Jane, confusion all over her face.
Jane smiled sheepishly, "No but I do find your face adorable." She wrapped an arm around Maura and pulled her close, she even opened her jacket to wrap part of it around the other woman. Maura snuggled in close and put her arms around the lean detective. "Shit Maura your hands are freezing!" Jane yelped as a couple of fingers slipped under her button down shirt.
"Language." Maura muttered as her teeth chattered. "Let's go home. I can't digest anything if I'm hypothermic."
Jane laughed and swung them around, the unexpected motion set Maura off balance and she started to fall. Strong but gentle hands caught her and pulled her back up, Maura found herself flush against Jane who was looking down at her intently with an unreadable expression. The blonde let out a sigh and decided to take a leap.
"I think about that day often…" Maura's voice was hardly above a whisper but the breath she let out as she spoke moved a few loose strands of hair out of Jane's face.
"Maura I wasn't talking about the shooting…" Jane looked sad for a moment before her expression became unreadable again.
"Maybe I'm not talking about the shooting." Maura was gaining confidence. There was something they both needed to say and apparently Jane wasn't going to say it.
Jane leaned her face ever so slightly closer to Maura, "Then what are you talking about?" Even Maura could pick up on the emotion in Jane's voice. Hope. The detective's eyes were roaming her face as if studying her, trying to predict what she was going to say.
"Why must you be so difficult?" Maura let out an exasperated sigh. "Clearly I'm not the only one who thinks about that day. But you haven't mentioned anything either. You never brought it up so I left it alone. I figured you had enough on your plate with your injury, you didn't need me analyzing…the…" She paused before starting again. "You didn't need me analyzing what happened."
Jane bit her lip absentmindedly, trying to form the right words. She had to get this right, one wrong step and she could lose everything.
"You know biting your lip is a sign of sexual tension." Jane looked at Maura and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah well…I bet you didn't know that when you are attracted to someone you smile a certain way. You also tilt your head ever so slightly to the right." Jane brought her hand from around Maura's waist, she brushed the backs of her finger tips against Maura's soft and cold cheek. "You blush ever so slightly, if I didn't stare at you so often I wouldn't notice the difference." Jane's eyes searched Maura's face for a reaction, but Maura's face was uncharacteristically blank. "Not to mention those physical 'indicators' you refer to. Change in breathing, dilated pupils, flushed neck, fidgeting…" Jane laughed softly and smiled.
"Jane…I…" Maura took a moment to recompose herself, the close proximity to the detective, the chilly night air breezing over her suddenly overheated body, it was all so distracting. She had spent months coming up with the right combination of words. She thought about what body language would best demonstrate her interest. All that effort, all her plans had flown out the window when she had become practically enveloped in Jane's jacket. The faint hint of lavender filled her senses. Perhaps this was not something that could be planned, the right words weren't ones that could be drafted or rehearsed.
Kiss her god damn it. Rizzoli, what the hell is wrong with you, never one for hesitation, patience or romance. What the fuck?
As much as Jane wanted to dive headlong into, whatever this was, she knew that Maura needed to process and to think. Maura liked to take control and to be in charge.
Maybe now would be a good time to take charge. Maybe Maura doesn't want to be in control. Shit. This is way harder than it should be.
Jane chuckeled. "Fuck."
"Language Jane." Maura glared ever so slightly. "Do you know what we should be saying?" Her voice was soft, unsure, un-Maura.
Fuck no. I'm flying blind by the seat of my fucking pants which I've nearly shit three fucking times already.
"Not really, no." Jane smiled goofily.
Maura thought for a split second before her face lit up. "Well studies show that 90% of communication is body language. That's pretty incredible considering how much humans talk, also it makes me wonder why youth today seem so interested in communicating through texts. How do they find having only 10% of a conversation effective? Also-" Jane silenced Maura with a gentle kiss to her cheek, almost at the corner of her mouth. Almost exactly where she had kissed her the first time.
They stayed frozen in that position for what could have been seconds or days. Jane nuzzled Maura's temple ever so slightly as she exhaled. Maura would swear she could hear Jane smiling.
Jane pulled back ever so slightly, brown eyes locked with hazel. "That day. The one we keep not talking about. I kissed you." The dark haired woman smiled self-consciously.
"Yes, you did. I kissed you too." Maura looked like she wanted to say more but didn't.
Jane ran a hand through her hair before quickly returning it to Maura's waist. "Shit Maura. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."
Maura rolled her eyes. "Jane. Your language is atrocious." The smaller woman sighed and looked up at Jane again. "I don't know the social conventions for what happens when you kiss your best friend. Jane, I don't know what I'm doing and that scares me." Maura's admission was soft, her eyes searching Jane's face. She shivered and tried to get closer to Jane and more inside the jacket.
"Let's go back to your house. We'll get you warmed up and talk there." Jane took off her jacket and started to wrap it around Maura.
She tried to shift away. "What are you doing? It's freezing out here. There's no need for both of us to freeze."
Jane laughed. "Maura I'm fine, it's a short walk home. Just put on the damn jacket." Jane helped Maura into the jacket, the smaller woman wrapped it tightly around her. She tucked her chin to her chest and inhaled Jane's scent and smiled.
"Seems like I've already got you whipped Detective." The pair laughed and started walking back to Maura's house.
Ok. I bought myself some time. Now what the fuck am I doing? I don't know what to say or do. I can't even think clearly when I'm around her. How much should I tell her? Come on Rizzoli, get your shit together. You can do this. She's your best friend, smart, beautiful, funny, caring and perfect in every way imaginable. Don't fuck this up.
Maura glanced up at Jane several times, the dark haired woman was obviously concentrating on something. She had that determined look that Maura had fallen for. Maura knew what she wanted, she wanted it more than anything. Now she just needed Jane to tell her she wanted the same thing.
In an effort to comfort Jane, Maura linked their pinkies. Jane looked down at their joined fingers and the shy smile on the other woman's face.
God damn she's cute.
They walked in comfortable silence, thinking about what they wanted to say to each other. Jane's thoughts were moving away from words and moving towards actions.
I want to kiss her and never let go, I want to feel every inch of her body, I want to make her feel beautiful and loved. I want to wake up tomorrow with her snuggled against me. Holy shit. I want to have sex with my best friend.
Jane waited for her mind to panic, after all that's what was supposed to happen right? Don't people normally freak out when they picture having sex with their best friend? Panic wasn't coming, but there was a sense of what Jane could only describe as 'rightness'.
"Hmm…" Jane hummed to herself, chuckling at her own revelation.
Maura looked up, they were in front of her door. "What was that Jane?" Maura fished her key out of her pocket.
Jane couldn't help but smile. Maura looked beautiful under the soft lighting.
Note to self. Maura plus leather equals sexy as fuck.
"Nothin' Maur, let's get inside, I'm getting a little chilly." That was a lie. Quite the opposite was happening, Jane could feel her body temperature rising in anticipation and nervousness. Jane stood impatiently behind Maura, she pressed herself against Maura and felt the other woman tense up slightly at the contact before opening the door.
Once inside Maura practically ran to her room to put on warmer clothes. Jane laughed and got some blankets out of a closet, she spread them out in front of Maura's gas fireplace and turned it on. Jane rubbed her hands nervously, her fingers absently lingering over her scars.
Damn. The second I get a chance to slow down and think I'm ready to pee myself I'm so nervous. What do I say? What 'body language' should I use to optimally convey what I feel?
Jane laughed softly to herself.
You're starting to sound like her Rizzoli. Next you'll be getting The New England Journal of Medicine and discussing the latest research.
For just a moment Jane let herself picture what it would be like to discuss articles in bed on a lazy Sunday with Maura. The image wasn't half bad, but Jane wouldn't ever admit it out loud to anyone.
Maura's footsteps echoed past the empty kitchen and made their way into the living room. "A fire? That's actually a really great idea, it's so cozy and I never really have a reason to use it."
Jane looked up to see Maura standing a few feet from her. She motioned for the honey haired woman to come sit next to her. "Aw come on Maur, I'm allowed one good idea a week." When Maura's eyes flashed to Jane's face she stuck out her tongue ever so slightly to let Maura know she was kidding.
"I'm glad you are joking because I was going to have to refute that with a very long list of good ideas you've had on any given day. You wouldn't be very efficient at your job if you were only 'allowed' one." She was in the process of tucking her legs under her when Jane quickly pulled Maura sideways into her lap.
Their faces where only about six inches apart, Maura's breath caught somewhere in her chest and her heart was racing. In a moment of panic she had clung to Jane's shoulders. The dark haired woman smiled with new found confidence and wrapped one arm around the doctor and brought the other up to replace a hair that had come loose from behind Maura's ear.
Jane's eyes searched Maura's face, "You don't even know how beautiful you really are, do you?" Soft fingers trailed down Maura's cheek.
Maura tried to speak but her words seemed to get caught, she cleared her throat. "I-I-I am aware that some people do find me attractive and I have learned over the years which attributes I should highlight. I seem to be successful on some level." Maura grew silent under Jane's gaze, where Maura felt nervous Jane appeared peaceful, while Maura felt unsure Jane seemed confident. It was as if Jane had all the answers and was waiting to let Maura in on the secret.
Jane leaned forward until her forehead touched Maura's, their breaths mingling. "You really don't have any idea. Maura it's effortless for you, I don't know anyone who looks as beautiful in yoga pants as you do. You don't need to highlight anything, you are naturally stunning. You are the smartest person I know and have the biggest heart."
Just as Maura was about to refute Jane's comment about her having an oversized heart she felt Jane's lips on hers, soft, tentative, tender and slow. Not the words many people would use to describe Jane Rizzoli. The kiss wasn't urgent or awkward, unlike many of the kisses Maura had taken part in over the years. Jane's confidence was growing, Maura was kissing her back and pulling on her shoulders to bring them closer together.
Kissing Maura Isles was so different than what Jane had expected. There was no doubt that Maura was an excellent kisser but she seemed unsure of herself. Jane pulled back after an immeasurable amount of time.
Chocolate eyes searched a freckled face, "Hey…" Jane's voice was a whisper, soft and full of happiness. She couldn't stop the smile that had taken over her face.
Wow. 'Hey…' is that all you've got Rizzoli? Real smooth…it's like you are some sort of romantical genius. Is romantical even a word? Probably not…oh hey Maura's kissing me!
Maura was in fact kissing Jane, with more passion than before. Maura had a hand on the back of Jane's neck pulling the dark haired woman closer and her other was still tightly gripping her shoulder. Jane wrapped her arms tightly around Maura and pulled her close. Jane had not anticipated the motion would set them off balance and they started falling back. Thankfully the blankets Jane had previously laid out cushioned their fall.
Jane's breath hitched in surprised delight when Maura gently bit her lower lip, the honey blonde woman took advantage of her surprise and slipped her tongue into Jane's mouth. When air became a necessity for her, Jane pulled back but stayed close.
Maura sighed contently. "Well that was…phenomenal." Jane laughed, her raspy timbre sending shivers down the Medical Examiner's spine. Jane was lightly kissing all over her face. Cheek, temple, forehead, temple, cheek, chin, peck on the lips, nose cheek, jaw, chin, forehead. It was seemingly random. Then Jane started kissing her neck. Maura had always imagined Jane to be a fantastic kisser but her imagination and the late nights alone were less than shadows of real thing.
"Maura?" Jane asked as she kissed down to the smaller woman's shoulder.
The blonde suddenly realized that Jane had managed to maneuver so that she was pinned under the taller woman. "Yesss?" Maura hissed as Jane nibbled her ear lobe.
Jane kissed the soft spot under Maura's ear, "Go out with me?" She gently bit Maura's neck. "As in a date. I pick you up and buy you dinner, we come back here drink a little too much of your fancy ass wine and make out on your couch." Maura was practically purring with delight. She decided it was from a combination of Jane's words, her kisses and her hands that were now roaming her sides.
Maura squirmed to get closer to Jane, she was pulling on her collar, grabbing her strong shoulders, anything to close the distance between them. She was becoming increasingly aroused, feeling Jane's muscles working under her hands, suspending Jane over her. Jane's scent, her kisses, the closeness, the excitement, it made it very difficult for Maura to even form words. So she nodded once and pulled Jane in for a passionate kiss.
"Can I take that as a yes?" Jane's raspy voice tickled Maua's ear, she nodded again. "Am I going to get to second base?" Maura pulled back enough to look at Jane's face, the detective winked playfully.
"Jane, is now really an appropriate time to talk about baseball?" Maura asked, feigning cluelessness.
Jane's eyes narrowed for a second but then she smiled when she realized Maura was joking. "What? A joke? From the Dr. Maura Isles? I'm rubbing off on you." Jane leaned in to capture Maura's lips again.
Before their lips made contact Maura managed to retort. "Not the way I want you to." The comment threw Jane off and she missed Maura's lips and ended up kissing the corner of her mouth.
"Seriously? Maur, that's not fair. Here I am trying to treat you like a lady and then you go off and make me want to fuck chivalry." Jane's eyes were darker than usual, her voice had dropped an octave, breathing had become more rapid and she was licking her lips.
Maura smiled deviously. "Jane the last thing I want-" Jane cut her off
"Yeah yeah I know, language." She rolled her eyes and pouted.
Maura smiled and tucked the small victory away for later gloating. "Actually I was going to say the last thing I want you fucking right now is chivalry." Jane's eyes were as large as saucers. "Shall we start our sleep over?" The honey blonde asked innocently.
Jane gulped. "I…you have no idea how much I want to…but I have this rule about…you know…a date? I don't want to mess things up with you Maura. I want to take it slow and do this right." Jane brushed a loose lock of hair out of Maura's face. "But you have no idea how tempting that is."
Maura giggled at Jane's obvious struggle, "Well then tonight we'll just sleep. Come on, I'm exhausted." Jane stood first then helped Maura up, she pulled the smaller woman against her and kissed her again.
"Fine. But my hands may have a mind of their own while I'm sleeping." Jane intertwined their fingers as Maura led them up the stairs and to her bedroom.
The doctor sighed, "Jane you know full well that hands don't 'have a mind of their own'. Your parietal lobes control touch perception, your frontal lobe is involved with motor function and-" Jane cut Maura off with another kiss, gentle and sweet.
After she pulled back and began leading Maura to the bedroom Jane chuckled. "You are so adorable. I love that you know everything."
"Jane, I don't know everything. I still have a lot to learn, actually if there was a way to quantify the amount of information that existed I would most likely know next to nothing." Maura looked as if she was actually trying to see if she could quantify how much information existed.
It must be hard having a brain that big and logical.
The pair entered Maura's master bedroom and Jane went to the dresser to pull out Maura's silk pajamas, while she was there she opened the bottom left drawer and pulled out her Boston Police Academy t-shirt as well as a pair of boxers.
I already have my own fucking drawer. I think we've taken U-Haul lesbians to a whole new level. We were already practically living together before we were even dating. I'm not sure if that's fucked up or cute.
"Here you go Maura, put these on. I'm going to go change in the bathroom." She started walking backwards to the bathroom.
"Why leave? We've changed in front of each other before." Maura was already removing her shirt as she asked.
Jane spun around and stared intensely at the wall, her heart was racing and she could feel the spike in her body's temperature. "Jesus fucking Christ. Maura you've got to warn a girl when you do that." Jane could hear Maura pulling her jeans off, she nearly jumped ten feet when she felt Maura's warm body against her back, the smaller woman's arms wrapped around her.
Maura stood on her tip toes to reach Jane's ear. "Language Jane." The doctor smiled when she felt Jane twitch in her arms. "Why shouldn't we change in front of each other. We have anatomy, we've changed together before...so tell me, what's changed?" Maura nuzzled Jane's shoulder and took in her scent, a smell she would never tire of.
Jane turned around and wrapped her arms around Maura's waist. "I'll tell you what's change Dr. Isles." The Detective gave Maura what she intended to be a quick kiss, but the feel of Maura's bare back under her hands proved to be very distracting.
Several minutes, one less bra and a half unbuttoned shirt later Jane managed to pull herself away ever so slightly. Both women were breathing heavily, desire written all over their faces.
Jane smiled as Maura tried to go in for another kiss but the taller woman resisted. "I'll tell you what's changed. Before I didn't want to jump your bones."
Maura looked offended, "You didn't find me desirable before tonight?"
The dark haired woman cringed, "No. That came out wrong. I did want to jump your bones. Very much in fact. But I didn't know that was even a possibility, I figured my fantasies would stay…well fantasies."
Maura rubbed a bare leg against Jane's calf. "Have you been having fantasies about me Detective?" Her eyes flashed green and she began to finish the work she had already started on Jane's shirt.
Jane squirmed and laughed, she had the good grace to blush. "Well…yeah…fuck you are so sexy I don't know how I resisted this long." Maura's eyes flashed, and instead of the reprimand for her language Jane was expecting Maura pulled her in for a searing kiss.
Once Maura had finished the work she started on Jane's shirt she immediately slid her hands inside to feel Jane's toned stomach. She loved the feel of Jane's muscles moving, tensing up, working and twitching. Jane hissed as Maura scraped her nails across the taller woman's back, Maura pulled back, she smirked at Jane. "Still want to change in the bathroom?"
"No. Yes? No. But I have to." Jane scrunched her nose at her own muddled answer.
Maura sighed and gently nibbled at Jane's collar bone. "I don't understand."
Jane led Maura over to the bed, sat down and patted the spot next to her. "Ok let me try it this way. Try not to interrupt unless you don't understand what I mean. Got it?" Maura nodded and a look of concentration took over her face. Jane laughed and stroked a freckled cheek with the backs of her fingers.
"We both have had casual sex, right?" Another nod. "I have a knack for ruining any potential relationships, whether it's my job, lack of desire to go through social convention bull shit, my nightmares or just my generally prickly attitude. I want to do this right."
"Do what right?" Maura asked softly.
Jane motioned between the two of them, "Us, you, me, this. I want to do it right. I am going to take you out on dates, have an embarrassingly large bouquet delivered to the morgue, leave you ferrero rochers on your desk when you aren't looking. Dr. Maura Isles, I am going to court you."
Maura laughed softly, "I would love all of that. I would be honored to be courted by you Detective." Jane leaned in and kissed Maura sweetly, when they pulled apart Maura had a mischievous look on her face. "But you're sure we can't engage in a sexual aspect of our relationship?"
Jane glared at Maura, trying to pretend that she wasn't as turned on as she really was. "No. I mean yes, I'm positive. I have to woo you woman!" With that Jane got up, grabbed the clothes she had dropped to the floor and entered the bathroom.
She almost didn't hear Maura mutter, "I can be wooed and still have sex…"
Jane laughed to herself.
God I love her.
This is the last chapter for this story but I do have two more longer fics in the process of being written, so if you are looking for longer stories I will be posting those hopefully sooner rather than later. If you enjoyed it and want to let me know, feel free to leave a review.