A/N: Let's do this…I own nothing.
In a dark city, there was a lemonade bar (A/N: don't judge me) where men and women drank and had merriment. A person in a trench coat showed up, sat down and said, "Get me a super sour…."
"One super sour comin' up!" Said the bartender.
"I have to a question, and I'm sure you have a good answer…"
"And your question is…."
"What do you know about The Awesome Team?"
"Who wants to know?"
"I do!" Said the mysterious person looking up at the bartender.
"You…don't have a nose…."
Meanwhile in an odd base, there was a group of interesting people having what they called a "meatin".
"Okay!" Said Ed, "Time for our meatin!"
"Meatin? Where's the meat?" Shouted Patrick.
"I like meat with my cho-co-late milk!" Said Cheese.
"I-I like, I like the meat stuff they have with nachos! Yes!" Said Fredfredburger.
"I'll ask the boss if we can have some meat!" Said Ed as he turned on a large TV.
Goofy appeared on the screen. "BOSS, CAN WE HAVE SOME MEAT?" Said Ed.
"Maybe after your mission." Replied Goofy.
"OOOOOOH A MISSION? ARE WE LIKE SPIES? I LIKE SPIES! I'M A SPY, I'M A SPY, I'M A SPY! I LIKE BEING A SPY!" Said Cheese
"That means we have spy music!" yelled Patrick.
"Maybe we can have music that goes BA LALALALALA LALALALALALALALA LALA BA ABA BA BA ABAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLAAAAAAAAA!" Said…..Fredfredburger.
"!" That could be anybody.
After TWO HOURS of randomness, the team finally got their mission.
"There's been strange activity going on in the cross district, but info is sketchy." Said Goofy, "I want you to investigate the area, and do it right this time!"
"You mean like a weeny?" Said Patrick making an odd face, "Okay…..DO YOU KNOW THIS PLACE SIR? DO YOU KNOW THIS PLAACE SIR? DO YOU KNOW_"
"CAN WE GET CHOCOLATE MILK?" Shouted Cheese.
"Well, actually." Said Goofy, "There is a lemonade bar in town that sells chocolate milk, maybe you can check out that place first."
"I like chocolate milk!"
"COOKIE DOUGH! YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!" Said Ed running off.
"Now board your vehicles and go to these coordinates. Goofy out!" Said the boss giving his final words on this.
The Awesome Team put on their mission clothes and got going. Cheese had a black sweater with a Kevlar vest, Patrick had on a Kevlar vest and camo pants on, Fredfredburger had on black spandex and…a Kevlar vest….they all wore Kevlar, there, now I won't' have to say it for Ed….ahem, Ed wore a black leather jacket and dark jeans with various chains on them. And they all put on sunglasses because sunglasses are epic!
They all boarded their vehicles. Cheese had a "motor-horsy" with bunnies on it, Fredfredburger had a car with flames and "YES" plastered on it, Patrick had a boat-mobile that is modeled after a clam…yeah, and Ed had a motorcycle with red and blue flames on it and a black skulls. And…ONWARD THEY WENT TO THE CROSS DISTRICT!
On their long ride they talked via communicators about what they were supposed to do. Cheese just wanted chocolate milk, so that's all he kept talking about. Patrick was shockingly aware of what was going on, he knew that they had to pull off an investigation, but that's as far as his spilled milk mind went. Ed wondered if there would be any zombies there and wanted to make sure he was ready for any possible engagements with said undead creatures. Fredfredburger provided the music going from "BALALALA" to "FREDFREDBURGER FREDFREDBRGER"
Once they arrived in the district, they saw a little boy, in a black trench coat. He had an oversized nose and an egg shaped head. "Are you under Goofy?"
"Who are you?" Asked Fredfredburger, "You seem familiar….."
"Hm…to think he enlisted Fredfredburger….."
"You know me?"
"Yes…and I also trust you with a message for Goofy. Tell him….the Syndicate is rising."
"The Syndicate Project? I love their videos!"
"No! Not the Syndicate Project! The Syndicate! Look, I don't have long. It's only a matter of time before they find me! Please, just remember to tell him what I told you ok?"
"Thank you, farewell, till we meet again." The boy then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
After that, they headed to the lemonade bar and parked their vehicles, well; Cheese's turned into the little toy hoarse he plays with. They walked into the bar in slow motion and Ed was playing Back in Black by AC/DC. Patrick took off his sunglasses, looked around, and went to the bartender. Cheese darted to the bartender and said, "CAN I HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE MILK?"
"Well, okay…you want anything pinhead?"
"/-_-\ Who you callin' pinhead?"
"Sorry! Didn't mean to offend you!"
"It's alright! I'll have an uh uuuh uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Oooooook, and what about the green elephant guy?"
"HI MY NAME IS FREDFREDBURGER!"
"Yeah! Uha! I can spell it! F-R-E-D-F-R-E-D-B-U-R-*G*-E-R! FREDFREDBURGER YES!"
"Uuuuuummm, do ya want anything?"
"Do you have any frozen yogurt?"
"Well, then get me a uuuuh LEMONADE! DO YOU HAVE THAT?"
"It's a lemonade bar…"
"Alright, HEY KID!" he said to Ed who was staring the jukebox, "Ya want something?"
Ed walked over like a supposed "cool guy" and said, "Hit me with an Assault Monster!"
"Hey, do you know about any ummmm sispictus activity here?"
"Do you mean suspicious?"
"Yeah, that word."
"Well, uuuuh there has been_"
Suddenly there were bullets flying into the bar. Ed got down a and used a table as cover while he got out an MP5k. Fredfredburger and Cheese evacuated the civilians, and Patrick asked the bartender, "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?"
"Th-they're here for…" Then the bartender was shot in the head.
Patrick took out his two UMP45's and did a combat roll behind the counter.
"I like this game!" Shouted Cheese while firing an M4A1.
Patrick did a matrix-style shooting jump and landed next to Ed. He handed Ed a grenade, knowing that he has the better arm. Ed started the grenade and threw it."
"Beep booop booooooop beep boop bop beeeep boooooooooooooom!" said Cheese imitating the grenade sounds.
Fredfredburger went out with two Desert Eagles (why? CAUSE HE'S AWESOME LIKE THAT) and said, "IIIIIIIIIII LIIIIIIIIIIIKE NAAAAAAACHOOOOOOS!"
They exited the bar and began their firefight in the streets. Bullets flew everywhere. One of the enemy soldiers had a woman as a hostage. "Heeeeeeeeyyyy! Let her gooooooo!" Said Cheese as he used his shockingly great accuracy and shot the enemy right in his head. The woman then ran from the scene, because that's the smart thing to do.
It all came down to one soldier. The soldier proceeded to run and the team pursued him in hopes of gaining information. They got on their vehicles and began their pursuit. "I'm a cowboy!" Said Cheese, "Here's my horse!"
The mysterious enemy noticed that they were right behind him. Ed did an epic wheely and got on the building with the enemy. Ed took out a katana and began to swing at the enemy. The enemy soldier used his own sword to parry Ed's blows. Ed noticed that the motorcycle was hindering his movement so he dematerialized it into a staff right when he flew off the building and landed straight on the roof. He shot at the enemy's leg. The enemy, hurt, turned around and engaged Ed.
The two fought using hand-to-hand combat on the roof. Patrick ditched his clam and said, "Cheese, I have an idea! Fred and I will toss you up there so you can help Ed!"
"IIIIIIIII LIIIIIIIIIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!" said Cheese as he turned the horse back and jumped into Patrick and Fredfredburger's hands. The two shot Cheese up on the roof. "Giddyup!" Shouted Cheese as he fell on the enemy's back, "…..the roof tastes funny."
Ed apprehended him and asked, "Who do you work for!"
The enemy smiled as he started and explosive on his body and shouted, "Hail lord of the SYNDICATE!"
Ed and Cheese jumped off the building right at the explosion. "What happened?" asked Patrick.
"He went boom!" Said Cheese."
"And look at this." Said Ed as he showed his friends a symbol badge he found, "It was on the guy!"
"Can we eat it?" Said Fred.
"Maybe after we show the boss. Let's head back before Sarah finds me!"
Back at base, The Awesome team spoke with their boss. "And then, then he asploded!" Said Fred.
"Well, how interesting!"
"Oh, and this weird kid said….uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh ummmmmuuuuuuuuuh uuuuuh! Um uuuuuuuuuum! OH! He said The Syndicate is rising."
"Oh, that's bad! We'll have to_" Suddenly the screen went to snow, and a transmission came on.
It was a girl on the TV. She had hair that looked like horns and angry eyes. "Hello Awesome team!" She said, "It's nice to speak to you. I just want to say, that the dogs of war will be let free as we, The Syndicate, crush your puny organization!"
"No nose! No nose! No nose!" Shouted Fred.
"I'd expect you to be here, and just so you know, you shall not receive any mercy! We shall triumph! We shall reign! We shall succeed!"
Then the transmission ended.
Ed stared at the screen and said, "I think she's like my feet, she smells without a nose."
A/N: Well, there's the action packed first chapter. Get ready for the epic second chapter of…..THE AWESOME TEAM. Please review, I'd like some feedback.