My Worst Nightmare
"Sorry Phineas." My boss told my owner. "It isn't safe. You know too much."
"Now I never wish so much that I could un-know something." Phineas said. He went to me and bent down.
"Looks like this is goodbye pal." He wiped away a tear. "We're really going to miss you." Tears strolled down my cheeks as he hugged me. I hugged him back. Next I hugged Ferb. Candace went to me.
"Perry." She spoke. "I'm going to miss you sleeping on the edge of my bed and yelling at you to get off. You were a nice addition to our family." I hugged her as she did the same. She then stepped back.
"Before you go Perry," Phineas said to me. "There's something that Ferb and I want you to have." He took something out of his pocket. It was the locket. I quickly grabbed it and looked at the pictures inside with tears in my eyes. "To remember us by. Oh Perry, we went through so much together and now you're leaving and…" He wiped away another tear as he sniffed. "No, I got to be strong." I hugged him again. He again, hugged me back.
"Sir," Carl said through tears. "Are you sure there's no other way?"
"No." Monogram told him. "I'm afraid not." He then cleared his throat signaling me that the hug was over. "Agent P, we got to go."
"Bye Perry!" Phineas said as I followed my boss and his assistant. "You were a great pet. We'll always remember you!"
"Bye Perry!" I heard his friends and Candace call after me sadly.
I followed slowly behind. This has turned into the worst day of my entire life. It started out great and then it went downhill from there. I secretly blamed everyone. Doofenshmirtz just had to build that Otherdemensioninator. My owners just had to pop in and fix it for him. Oh what am I saying? I couldn't pin this on them, they had no idea they were helping out the bad guy.
But most importantly, I blame myself. I should've known that my secret identity as an agent was going to slip out eventually. I should've exposed myself sooner. I wish I spent more time with them, participating in whatever they were doing. Nobody said that life as a secret agent was going to be easy.
Phineas' voice rang in my head then. "Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover story to you? Were you ever really our pet or part of our family?" That really hurt. That and the whole trust thing. From that one moment, I wish I could talk. That way I could tell them up front that I was truly sorry and explain why I couldn't tell them.
I deserve this though. I broke the cardinal rule of being a secret agent. But I couldn't help it. I just wanted them safe and out of harm's way. Was that too much to ask? I bet James Bond never had to deal with these problems.
I wish that this whole day could repeat itself. I'll do anything to have my loving owners back.
I watched as my pet followed the old guy and the college kid. Today was supposed to be one of Perry's best days but I ruined it for him. I just couldn't let him do his thing. I just had to butt in and make it worse. But hey, what would you do if you found out your pet was a butt-kicking, crime-fighting secret agent?
I guess after I found out the truth, I couldn't control myself. I just had to find out more! I guess this is partly my fault. I was too hard on him. Why did I yell at him so much?
Still, I think we could've been an awesome team. Owners and pet fighting side by side. But of course, we could still make our inventions. We could go with our pet on cool spy missions one day and do inventions the next and vise versa.
But now he was leaving us…this time forever. He can no longer wait for our school bus. We can no longer take him on walks in the parks or give him baths. We can't dress him up in Halloween costumes anymore (to be honest, I'm not entirely sure he liked that). I'm going to miss asking the question: "Hey, where Perry?" whenever he leaves to do his missions and "Oh, there you are Perry" when he gets back.
I couldn't understand why it has to be this way though. Why can't he stay with us and we only know his secret?
I sighed and looked at my brother, sister and our friends.
"Well, I guess that's that." I said. I wiped away some more tears. "Let's go."
At home, I told our parents the awful news. They felt bad for me. I could see tears in their eyes too though. Mom bent down to comfort me.
"Oh Phineas," Mom said in a soothing voice. "I'm so sorry. We can get you another pet."
"I don't want another pet!" I cried. "I want Perry!" My family was shocked. Before my mom could say anything more, I ran off to my (and Ferb's) room, crying. I slammed the door.
"Agent P," Monogram bent down to me once we were in front of the OWCA headquarters. "I'm very sorry about relocating you. I know your host family meant the world to you, but it's for the best. You understand that, don't you?" I shrugged, I guess.
"Good you feel that way because you're moving to the Bi-State Area and you will live with the Danger family. I looked at him. The Danger family? He must have known what I was thinking because of what he said next.
"Don't worry Agent P. Their last name may be Danger but I'm sure they're not dangerous themselves! Just live with them and see what you think. Oh and so far we don't have a nemesis for you yet. So in the meantime, this will be a great chance for you to get to know them." He handed me a map. I grabbed it and looked at it. "Here's a map of where they live. We've already installed your lair and a variety of different passages in their household. Oh and Agent P, this time don't spill your secret. We wouldn't want to relocate you again." I looked at him.
As if; I had no choice! It was either that or watching my owners getting hurt by Platyborg. It would be wrong of me just to sit there wouldn't it? What kind of pet would I be then?
"We'll call you on your wrist communicator when we find a suitable nemesis for you. Good luck with your new family Agent P."
I saluted him. I looked at the map and ran off.
"Good luck Agent P!" I heard Carl call after me.
I looked at the house in front of me and gulped. I didn't like the looks of it. There was broken glass in all the windows and the shutters were all old and rusty. I checked the map to see if this was the right place. Darn! This was the right place! I closed the map and went to the doors on all fours. I then stood up and knocked on the door. I went back to pet mode immediately. No answer. I tried again. Still no answer. I looked in the broken windows. Hmm, looks like nobody's home. I was about to go back to HQ when I saw a car drive up. I immediately went to pet mode.
Then a family came out. A man, a woman and a boy about my (well, former now) owners' age.
"That was the most fun I ever had!" The kid said. "Will we do it again tomorrow?"
"And the day after that and the day after that." The man told him. The kid smiled, then noticed me. He ran to me like he was just shot out of a cannon.
"Hey!" He said. "A beaver tail, duck creature!" I chattered madly at him.
Platypus! Seriously, why can't people get that right? It bothers me how people are clueless about that.
"Can we keep him?" The boy asked his parents.
"If he stays out of our business." The man said. "But you got to keep a sharp eye on him, okay Sid?"
"I will!" Sid promised then hugged me. But his hug wasn't like Phineas' or Ferb's hugs at all, these were very tight! He was suffocating me! I tried to get out of the hug, but it was no use. Dang, was this kid strong!
I was relieved when his mom called him in for supper. He released me. I panted heavily as I got my breath back.
"Come on!" He told me. "Come in!" I followed him. He looked back at me and scowled. "Come on, faster you meatbrick!"
Meatbrick? How insulting! It was worse enough when Candace called me by that name, but now, this kid? And why did he want me to go faster? We weren't in a rush or anything. I went faster. "Good boy meatbrick!" He went inside. I did the same.
"This is the house!" He said. "Now come on, let's eat!" He went upstairs.
What? That's it? When Phineas and Ferb first brought me home, they introduced me to every room in the house! Oh well, maybe he's just hungry. I strolled upstairs and into their kitchen (I knew it was the kitchen because I smelled food, although why it was on the second floor I had no idea).
In the kitchen, the family was having pizza. I paused. I didn't see anything for me. What was I supposed to eat? Well, I suppose they had just got me. Maybe, they'll go to the pet store later to buy me food.
"Oh, we don't have anything for you?" The mom said. She then poured some milk from a carton into a frying pan and set it by me. She then gave me some liverwurst from the freezer. "Here, eat and drink!" I took the liverwurst in my mouth and stated chewing on it. It tasted awful! Oh well, hopefully the milk will taste good.
The milk was horrible too! More horrible then the liverwurst. I then saw the carton on the counter. I strolled up to it and looked for the expiration date. When I saw it, I couldn't believe my eyes! It expired six mouths ago! No wonder it tasted so rancid!
"So what are you going to call him?" The mother asked. The kid laughed.
"Meatbrick." He answered.
I shot a look at him. Meatbrick? He had to be kidding! I didn't want to be called that. What a terrible name for a platypus! My name's Perry, not Meatbrick.
"Meatbrick it is then." The mom said. I shot a look at her. What? She was okay with this? They continued eating their pizza.
"Eat your darn liverwurst and drink your milk Meatbrick!" The dad shouted at me. I quickly ate without hesitation, trying to digest the awful food and milk, wondering if Major Monogram sent me to the wrong family.
Days went by and I was still moping about Perry. I was so miserable in fact that I couldn't concentrate on our projects. So, we didn't make anything. My friends all grew worried about me as time went on.
One afternoon, I was in front of the TV trying to watch a rerun of YellowBob BrownPants. It was my dad's idea. He thought by watching a little "telly", it'll take my mind off Perry. He was wrong. The episode made it worse.
In the episode, YellowBob's snail Larry just came home. YellowBob was just so ecstatic because he was the cause of Larry running away, because he neglected to feed him for ten days. I would never do that to Perry. I sighed. Unlike Larry, my pet will never come home. I will never be happy like those kids and their pets playing with each other in the shows or in the movies Ferb and I see.
After the show was finished, my mom went up to the TV and shut it off. She looked at me.
"Phineas," She started. "We got something to show you. It's out in the backyard." I stood up and followed her to the backyard.
When we got there, I saw my friends, sister, brother and my dad. I looked at my stepbrother.
"What's going on here?" I asked him. Ferb then turned around and whistled.
Then, bounding into the backyard was a Dalmatian puppy. I should've known. They gave me a puppy to forget all about Perry. The puppy jumped right into me, knocking me down and licking all over like there were no tomorrow.
"Off!" I told the Dalmatian. "Get off!" The dog obeyed. I wiped some slobber from my cheek and got up.
"You got a dog to make me forget Perry?" I asked. "Well, no offense, but I'm never going to forget about him."
"We know Phineas." Mom told me. "We just figured that if we got you a new pet, you would forget about all the grief you have. It was Ferb's idea. He didn't want you to be sad. What a thoughtful brother you have." I looked at him and scowled. He gave me a "you're welcome' thumbs up.
"We already thought of names for him." Baljeet piped up. "But Dotty and Spotty are just too unoriginal."
"So Ferb suggested Bartholomew." Said Isabella. "Because that was the name you originally were going to call Perry."
"Was that okay Phineas?" Ferb asked me. "Can we keep him? I just wanted to make you happy." I scowled at him again. The truth was I didn't really want Bartholomew, I wanted Perry. But I guess that wasn't going to happen. But I couldn't be mad at Ferb. He went through all this trouble in getting him just to cheer me up and it wasn't in my nature to be rude.
"Sure." I said. "He can stay." My friends (except Buford) all cheered.
"So Phineas," Isabella said to me. "Are you going to make a super huge doghouse with a several floors like a spa floor, a kitchen, a play room, a book corner, etcetera?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. But let's do it tomorrow, it's already five. Let's just go inside and play some games."
"Okay, sure. I'll bring the Fireside Girls for the project tomorrow." Barthomew barked excitedly as we all went inside.
"And when you do," Candace stated. "I'll be here to bust you for it." I didn't know what she meant by that, so I just shrugged.
"Yeah, sure, it's cool, whatever." I then saw Ferb, He looked worried, pondering something, wondering what the heck happened to me.
We played Skiddley Whiffers, or tried to anyway. Barthomew kept running off with our pieces (Oh well. Candace said she would've won anyway.) Same with Hungry, Hungry Frogs.
That night, in our room, we went to bed. I saw Ferb, sleeping like a log in his. Next, I looked at Barthomew. He walked in circles on his newspaper bed we set out for him in the corner and laid down, shutting his eyes.
Finally I looked at the vacant spot at the end of my bed. I sighed. That would've been Perry's spot to snooze right about now.
Sid led me to the garage. That's right, I was going to sleep in the garage. Sid's mom said there was no more room for me in the house. Why, I do not know. Is there something that they're hiding from me? Anyways, it'll be a brand new experience for me. I never slept in the garage before, not even when I was a platypup.
Sid set me up a newspaper to sleep on. I looked around the garage as he set up. Cobwebs were on the ceilings and the floor was filthy. I couldn't believe it. I was going to sleep in here?
Sid patted a spot on the newspaper when done.
"Come on Meatbrick!" He urged me. "Hop on!" I hesitated. Please Sid, don't make me sleep down here. He scowled at me.
"Come on Meatbrick!" I still didn't budge. He did a deep sigh and picked me up. He set me down.
"Don't be a wuss. You're going to like it!" I glared at him. Who's he calling a wuss? He's talking to an agent here, a highly skilled agent at that. I'm not scared of sleeping down here. I then shivered as I saw a spider in a spider web. I just don't like it in here is all.
He stood up to leave. I was about to follow when he stopped me.
"No Meatbrick!" He told me. "Stay here!" I was about to go again after he left when he stopped me again.
On the third attempt he stopped me again and this time he looked really mad.
"STAY HERE YOUR STUPID PET!" He yelled. I immediately stopped, shocked.
"That's better." He then went into the house.
I collapsed on the newspaper. Well it's official. I hate it here. The family is horrible. The food stinks. The milk is rancid. I threw up the milk one time because of food poisoning and they didn't take me to the vet because it was too 'expensive', can you believe that? They keep me tied up to a post as if I 'm a dog when they go places in the mornings and afternoons. And worst of all, I don't have a nemesis to foil yet.
Oh Phineas, how I miss you. No more switching from your edge of the bed to Ferb's so I don't have to pick favorites, Candace screaming at me to get off her and blaming the boys for putting me there, dropping you at the bus stop in the mornings and picking you up, those silly costumes you dress me for Halloween, everything!
I sighed; I wish I were home, my real home with Phineas and Ferb.