Summary: Lily goes into Labor - James is nervous, Sirius is obnoxious and Remus is trying to control the situation. Oh, and Lily is mad. Join them as they slowly drive the Hospital, insane.

Lily and James Potter were enjoying a quiet night at their home in Godric's Hollow, sitting in their living room and enjoying a nice cup of tea as they relaxed in the cool Summer air.

Just then, Sirius Black banged the door open, making Lily jump. Remus was behind him, grinning.

"Hey, Potters!" Sirius said, his grin huge. "How's my baby?"

Lily held her pregnant belly, glaring at Sirius, "He's not your baby, Sirius."

"Yeah, he's mine!" Remus said, flopping down onto the chair next to the couch. Sirius jumped onto the couch right in between Lily and James, making them scooch apart. Sirius put his head to Lily's stomach, trying to hear the baby.

"Actually, I believe he's my baby," James said, pulling Sirius off his wife.

Sirius and Remus ignored James.

"Did you two think of a name? Because, if you didn't, I'm thinking you should name him Remus . . . or John," Remus said, shrugging as he tried to sound nonchalant.

"Nice try," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"We're going to name him Harry," James said.

"Harry?" Sirius echoed, "Ew."

"His middle name is going to be Remus, though, right?" Remus asked, "I think Harry Remus would be a great name."

"Or Harry Sirius," Sirius said, "You could be like 'Harry Sirius, you get back here,' eh? I can see it."

"His middle name is going to be James," Lily said. Remus's head snapped to James.

"Why would you name him after James and not me?" Remus asked.

"I'm the father!" James exclaimed.

"So?" Sirius said, putting his hand on Lily's stomach and feeling Harry kick. "Oh, my gosh! He's really in there!"

"Will you get your hands off my wife?" James asked, standing and sitting in between Sirius and Lily, pushing Sirius as far away as possible.

"Technically, I had my hands on your baby," Sirius said.

James gave him a look. "That makes me feel so much better."

"I thought it might," Sirius grinned.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Remus asked, laying his head on the back of his chair and raising an eyebrow at James.

"He's nervous because Harry was due a few days ago," Lily said, holding her stomach gently. "and he still hasn't come out." she stared at her baby bump for a moment before cooing, "Come out, Harry, Mummy wants to hold you! Come on, baby. Oh, come on, baby!"

All three boys stared at her like she was crazy, none of them knowing what to say.

Remus was the first to recover. "Anyway, that's nothing to worry about James," he reassured the soon-to-be-Father, "I came out a week late and I'm just fine."

James eyes widened, "Oh, my Merlin. Harry, come out now! You don't want to be like Uncle Remus!"

"Oi! I'm offended," Remus said.

"I think that was kind of the point," Sirius said, "but I agree. That little boy needs to come out right now. Maybe if I sweet talk him. . ." Sirius stood up and tried to walk next to Lily, but James pulled him back.

"You're not sweet talking my baby."

Sirius threw himself back into his seat angrily, "Fine."

Lily held her stomach suddenly, "Oh, man."

James looked down at her, worried, "Are you okay, love?"

"IS IT TIME?" Sirius asked loudly, making Lily glare.

Remus sat up quickly, "Oh my gosh, it is time, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure. It feels like maybe. . ." She held her stomach again, "Yup. It's time."

"Okay, love, it'll be okay," James said, standing up and helping Lily. "We just have to go to hospital and get the Healer to help you, okay?"

"I'LL SEE YOU SOON, HARRY," Sirius hollered loudly towards Lily's belly, "UNCLE SIRIUS IS HERE!"

"Get away, Sirius," Lily said, swatting him away from her. "Let's just go outside and apparate to the hospital."

"I work for the Ministry, so I can make it so you can apparate right out of your house," Remus said.

Lily, James and Sirius stared at him weirdly.

"You don't work for the Ministry, Remus," James said slowly. "Thanks for the offer, though."

The group of four walked outside and apparated to St. Mungo's Hospital. Lily was holding her stomach protectively when they got there, walking through the wall. Sirius ran up to the counter.

"Help! My wife is having a baby!" he said, pointing towards Lily.

"Don't listen to him," James said, pushing Sirius out of the way, "I'm her husband. We warned Healer Keller we might be coming in.

"Name?" The lady asked, giving Sirius a weird look and then smiling at James.

"Remus John Lupin, but I don't know why you need my name," Remus answered.

James rolled his eyes, "Ignore him, too. We're the Potters."

"Oh, yes. Right this way, Mrs. Potter," The lady came around the counter, a wheelchair magically appeared next to Lily, the receptionist helped Lily sit down. "You can come in, too, Mr. Potter."

"Oh, good," Sirius and Remus said, following closely behind Lily and James.

James pulled the back of their shirts and jerked them back.

"Stay in the waiting room," James hissed at them.

"Not on your life," Sirius hissed back.

"Yeah, we're coming in!" Remus said, walking back to the lady pushing Lily. "I'm a Healer, so if you need help with anything, I know what to do."

Sirius appeared at Remus's other side, "Don't listen to him, he's not a Healer. He doesn't work for the Ministry, either, so don't believe him if he says that," Sirius's voice fell into a whisper, "He tried to convince me of that earlier, but I was smart and didn't buy it."

The receptionist stared at Sirius strangely, before fake smiling, "Good for you."

Sirius gave her a thumbs up, nodding his head knowingly.

The lady rolled her eyes, "Okay, Mrs. Potter, this is your room. Healer Keller should be here shortly."

"Thank you," Lily huffed as James helped her onto the hospital bed.

"Okay, Lily, you're doing great, just give me one more push," Healer Keller said.

Lily pushed with all her might, her face twisting in agony. James held her hand tight. Remus and Sirius were standing on the other side of Lily, trying to get a peek at the baby, but the nurse kept pushing them away.

"I see the head," The Healer called. "He's got some hair, too. It's black."

James's head snapped up. He grinned shakily. "My hair is black," He whispered to Lily, squeezing her hand.

Lily smiled, "I know, James." Then she screamed. Having a baby was more painful than she thought it would be.

"Can I see? Can I see?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Sirius, you're being a pain," Lily said, her breathing heavy.

"Lilybear, you're in labor, you shouldn't be talking," Sirius said, trying to get a peek at Harry.

"Sirius, you are not looking at my son before I do," James said, glaring at Sirius.

"Do you think the baby is okay?" Remus asked the Healer anxiously. "I'm a Father, so I've been here before. I could tell you if there's something wrong with Little Remus."

"His name is not going to be Little Remus!" James exclaimed, but Remus ignored him.

"You're not a Father, Remus," Sirius said, "you don't even have a girlfriend. And there's no way you're getting to see Sirius Jr. before I do!"

"We're . . . not naming him . . . Sirius Jr.," Lily panted out. "Merlin, this hurts!"

"It hurts to say no to me, doesn't it?" Sirius smirked. "I know."

"Get out!" Lily screamed, glaring at Sirius. "Get out of this room, NOW!"

Sirius looked at James, "Prongs! Tell her I get to stay!"

"Sirius . . ." James said, looking at Lily nervously.

"Oh. My. Merlin," Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest and stomping his foot. "Some best mate you are!"

"One more push, Lily," The Healer said, "He's almost out."

"You said that last time," Sirius said, glaring at Healer Keller. "I would appreciate it if you didn't lie, again."

Lily's face twisted with pain as she screamed.

The sound of a baby crying filled the room. James ran over to see him, leaving Lily, who had collapsed back into her pillow.

James held him up gently for Lily to see, "Isn't he cute, love?"

Lily smiled weakly, "He's perfect."

"He's hidious," Sirius said, his face disgusted. "What is that all over him?"

"Mostly blood," The Healer said.

"Oh," Remus said, looking at Harry for a second before fainting.

The Healer looked at Remus for a moment before turning back to James, "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

"I'll give it a go," Sirius said, reaching for the tool the Healer was offering James.

"Not you, Sirius," James said, rolling his eyes, but laughing, love and happiness all but bursting out of him. "Yeah, I wanna do it."

After the umbilical cord was cut, the Healer went to clean Harry up.

Sirius walked over to Remus and poked him with one finger. He didn't move.

"Yeah, he's dead," Sirius said, jumping back up and walking over to Lily and James, who were holding hands.

"He's amazing," Lily whispered, grinning.

"I know I am," Sirius said, jumping onto the bed next to Lily and putting his arm around her. They both glared at him. He grinned, taking his arm back, "I mean, yeah, that little sucker's adorable."

"He really is," James said, a goofy grin on his face.

"Don't call him a sucker," Lily said, "it's weird."

Sirius shrugged, giving Lily his most charming smile, "How about Puppy?"

Lily glared at him, shaking her head.

Healer Keller came over with Harry all wrapped in a blanket. His eyes were closed as he looked peaceful. He was handed to Lily, who held her son to her chest tenderly.

"You'll have to stay until tomorrow," Healer Keller said, "and it might be best if your . . . friends," he gave Sirius and the passed-out Remus a look,"leave."

Sirius crossed his arms angriliy over his chest, "You can drag Remus out if you want, but I'm staying here with Sirius Jr."

Healer Keller sighed, giving a quiet, "Alright," before walking out of the room.

"He's so precious," Lily said, kissing Harry's smooth forehead softly. James wrapped his arm around his family, smiling down at Harry.

"And disgusting," Sirius said, scrunching up his nose at Harry before jumping off the bed and pushing Remus over, slapping him to try and wake him up.

Lily gave him a half-hearted glare, then smiled brightly at James, "I can't believe we have a little baby boy," she whispered quietly.

James beamed brightly at her, kissing her softly, "A perfect little boy," he agreed.

"Aww," Sirius said, smiling at them as he sat on Remus' head, "You two are going to be such great parents. Although, you could come up with some better names." James and Lily both glared at him, so he added quickly, "Not that I'm judging, or anything."

James rolled his eyes at his best mate, "You're right, though," he looked at Lily and grinning cockily, "we are going to be good parents."

A/N: For the record, I have never had a baby before, so I'm sorry if this isn't accurate. I did see my niece about ten minutes after she was born, but imagine it's a completely different experience being in the room when the little sucker pops out! ;)

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you like my story!