Hola. I actually should be working on my English Comp questions for Jolt but fuhudge it cos I had this idea in my head... :P It's cos my friends and I spent majority of the day talking about Torchwood and Ianto's death and I have never forgiven Jack for saying "Don't" instead of "I love you." so enjoy.
This is dedicated to No1WithABullet because she's awesome :P
"I love you." He'd sobbed to his lover as he died. "I love you." He'd said as his tears fell from his eyes. "I love you." He'd said as he drowned on his own insides. "I love you." He'd said, part of him expecting an "I love you too." but all he got was a "Don't." and how was that? How could that possibly help convince him to fight even though he knew it was a losing battle? How was that ever meant to be the correct answer?
The first time, he's not sure if time rewinds or if he goes back in time but somehow he finds himself in Jack's arms again and he's saying the words "I love you." once more. This time he's ready for the "Don't" but it doesn't come. Instead he hears "Please…" and he closes his eyes, the fight leaving his body. Jack's second chance and the words changed but they still weren't right.
The second time, he's half sure he's going to be stuck in this hell forever; he thinks this is his afterlife. He finds himself held in Jack's arms and he's saying those three words, this time he doesn't know what to expect, this time he can't bring himself to expect anything but disappointment and he's disappointed that he's not wrong. Jack's reply to his "I love you." is "Don't speak like that, you're going to be fine." and Ianto dies just to disprove Jack.
The sixth time, he finds himself in Jack's arms once more and just like all the other times, he's saying those words. This time he tries to prepare himself to be disappointed, this time he tries to tell himself he doesn't care, this time he's ready to be let down. "I-I'll never forget you." Jack says and Ianto smirks as he dies.
The tenth time, Ianto thinks he's an expert at having his heart broken and stop beating but still he continues breathing. He's said the words so many times now, he's losing count. He says the words and he's barely even conscious of what's tumbling out of his mouth because he knows what he's saying. "Ianto…" Jack whispers and Ianto closes his eyes and lets himself be taken.
The twentieth time, Ianto is starting to get bored, he wonders when Jack will run out of things to say other than "I love you." which is what Ianto really just wants to hear. This time he gets "Don't leave me…" but it's not the same and Ianto dies the same as he did all the times before.
The twenty-sixth time, Ianto thinks there can't possibly be anything more for Jack to say that isn't "I love you." He's wrong. It's this time that he discovers that your heart can be wrenched out of your body with even the smallest of sounds. This time he gets a "Shhh…" to his "I love you." And he thinks he's the first one to die with the wish they were dying by suicide.
The thirtieth time, Ianto doesn't get a reply to his "I love you." Instead he just gets Jack hugging him and rocking him side to side. He watches Jack struggle to find something to say and he dies as Jack opens his mouth to speak. Somehow he's never died happier.
The thirty-fifth time, Ianto says his line with just the perfect amount of emotion and purpose but he doesn't really feel it inside anymore. He half expects Jack to completely disregard his confession but instead Jack kisses him and Ianto's heart quickens and he wonders if this is enough, he dies with Jack's lips still against his own.
It's not enough and when the thirty-sixth time comes, Ianto manages to stop himself from saying anything; he just lies in Jack's arms and lets Jack cry over him. He lets Jack blame it on himself and when he dies, he couldn't care less.
The fortieth time, Ianto's sure he's not in hell anymore because even hell wouldn't be this bad… or quite so annoying and besides, he knows that when you die you just go to the great nothing, the big blackness. He says the words again, because somehow he thinks he should die with Jack knowing this. This time he doesn't get the reply, Jack looks, instead, to the 456 and says in a pleading voice "Please, not him." Ianto dies less than three seconds later.
As his last breath becomes one of his last breaths for the fiftieth time, Ianto starts to feel cheated. He can't believe how many times Jack has had to say three tiny little words, he can't believe how many times he's died not hearing them. He can't believe how many times his heart has been wrenched out of his chest simply because Jack's afraid to confess his love to his dying lover. This time, Ianto gets a "no." and that's it, just a 'no'. When he dies this time, he dies sure that he dies from a bleeding heart.
When he dies for the sixty-seventh time, he starts to wish he'd never met Jack. Starts to wish he'd died at Canary Wharf. Starts to wish he'd never joined Torchwood. This time his "I love you." is answered with a "Why?" and he dies asking himself how his lover could be so stupid.
The eightieth time, he says "I love you." when his mind screams at him to say "I hate you." instead. This time his reply is a quiet "You can't do this to me." And he dies screaming insults at Jack in his mind.
The ninetieth time, he's not sure whether it hurts anymore or is just an annoyance. This time his "I love you." is answered by a quiet "I can't…" Ianto dies crying with an "I know." on his lips.
The hundredth time, he's completely sure Death hates him. This time his less than enthusiastic "I love you." is met with an "I know." And he can't work out if this makes him more angry or sad. He dies not even making the effort to close his eyes.
The three-hundredth time, he's crying, he's crying because he can't believe Jack can come up with anything and everything but the thing that would mean the most to Ianto. It's this time that he receives a "This can't be happening." Ianto wants to roll his eyes and say "tell me about it." but he dies before he can even open his mouth.
On Jack's five-hundred-and-seventh chance, he finally says "I love you, Ianto, and I always will." And Ianto just can't bring himself to care anymore.
R&R bros... :D