[[ It's AUish so I have no need to state the usual possible OOCness. XD;;
Well, it's sort of weird I guess but at least I'm done with the TokiyaXOtoya fanfic that I promised people I would write….although this one could have been done better….. ]]
When I first met my roommate for the first time, the first thought that appeared in my head was irony. He was very much like my other self, Hayato. Like Hayato, he was really cheerful, energetic and warm. The only difference between them would be that that really is his real normal personality while Hayato is simply something that I created and completely not like me at all. At first, I thought he was just mimicking Hayato like some of the fans that I had met, but he was nothing like that at all.
The idea of having a roommate was not pleasant to me at first because I feared that it would be one of Hayato's fans and the person would look at me as Hayato and compare me to him once they find out that I am actually his 'twin' instead. That would defeat my whole purpose of coming here as myself if everyone just look at me as Hayato instead. Is it that hard for people to see me as me, to see me as Ichinose Tokiya? Is there anything wrong in wanting to sing and wanting people to see me for me and not some façade that I put on?
But Otoya was different, really different. I could still remember the first thing that he said to me when we first met. He was all smiles and looking really happy when he saw me, the direct opposite of how I was feeling. "Ah, you must be my roommate. I'm Ittoki Otoya, it's nice to meet you and I hope we get along~"
My thoughts to his greeting were if he was just pretending to not notice that I look just like Hayato and to see if he would be able to get to Hayato through me. I could not help but suspect that when he seemed so much like Hayato that I feel like laughing. I glanced at him, looking at his smile that was not faltering one bit even when I was so quiet and have not answered to his greetings after so long. "I'm Ichinose Tokiya."
My words were simple, not seeing that there was a need to tell him about myself and the lie that the headmaster and I have come up with to answer when people question if I was Hayato. His response was really a big surprise because he still had not said a single thing about Hayato at all. "Tokiya eh? Well, I hope we get to be friends~"
I blinked, not expecting him to not question about my looks and my name. It seemed to me that he had accepted that I am not Hayato, does he really mean that or is that a lie? I would not be surprised if it was a lie though, with so many of Hayato fans out there, who knows what they would be thinking of? I decided to just take the initiative to ask him about it. "You're not going to question why I look like Hayato?"
He looked at me with a puzzled look, the smile changing along with his face. "Was I supposed to? You're Tokiya and not Hayato right? The fact of whether or not you look like someone else isn't important at all because you're you."
I looked at him feeling really surprised at his words, he really did seem that he did not care about it at all. It was like he acknowledged me for who I am too, or maybe he just did not like Hayato which was why he was so indifferent about it. "Like you said, I'm Ichinose Tokiya and not my older twin Hayato. Hayato is just a hypocrite and a lousy shallow frivolous dullard of an idol."
My tone was rather cold when I spoke, disliking how I could not be myself when I sing. Would people accept me as Ichinose Tokiya or not would only be answered after classes start. The look on his face changed again, this time he was frowning. Even when he seemed unhappy, I could not take him seriously for the angry look that he was showing was more of cute more than mad. "Tokiya, how could you say that of your twin? Even if you don't like him, he's still your twin!"
He did seem rather mad, perhaps he really was a fan of Hayato after all. I gave a small chuckle, already expecting that he did not mean it when he treated me as Tokiya and no one else. "You seem angry, are you a fan of him?"
He shook his head, still having that look on his face. "His songs are nice but I'm not a fan. I was only mad that you called your twin like that. No matter what he had done, you had no right to insult him, especially when you're related."
So he was not a fan then? I kept quiet and ignored him, going back to organize my things. But he was wrong, really wrong. I was not insulting my twin, I was insulting myself, which simply gave me the right to do that. Looking at him simply makes Hayato even more frivolous and fake. It was such an irony that my roommate happens to be someone that is like the façade that I created, almost like I was imitating him.
This was why even though he called me Tokiya and not compare me to Hayato, I can not make myself be nice to him. His smiles were really warm and I had a hard time turning away from it by at the same time I resent them. Otoya was so much like Hayato that I see Hayato in him whenever I look at him, making me unwilling to talk to him much or interact with him at all. But those did not stop him from talking to me at all, in fact his smiles never does falter at all even when I ignore him.
Even the way he acts reminds me of Hayato, except the fact that he is much noisier than Hayato and more able to touch people's heart with his brightness. Hayato was nothing but a fake façade after all and there was no way that it would be able to beat him. I felt frustrated when I put on the mask on Hayato as I know that I could not make it be like Otoya at all and people like Hayato and not me, Tokiya. For Otoya it's much different, people see him as him and they like him as him too.
School had proved my point that people likes Hayato better than me and I could always hear people whispering about me being Hayato's twin and him being much more talented than me. I feel frustrated whenever I heard that, why is it so hard for people to accept and see me as Ichinose Tokiya and not the façade that I created?
Otoya is simply the direct opposite of me and I sometimes wonder if fate simply wanted me to know the ironies of life to have him appear in my life. I watched his recording during the test, when he asked me for help with his lyrics, he seemed rather blank and confused over what I said to him and I felt that I wasted my breath on him. But when I watched it, he actually did a decent job in coming up with lyrics and he had a really big smile on his face as he sang, you could tell how much he was enjoying himself like he sang.
I was rather envious and jealous of that, and the look on his face when he sang could not leave my mind. I was rather bitter than his song contains the thing that I lacked in mine, the heart and emotions. Ichinose Tokiya could not sing songs that are as warm as his but Hayato could, but even then, there was no doubt that Otoya's songs would be much warmer and encouraging.
Even when he sings he reminds me of Hayato but he was still the only other person besides Nanami Haruka that actually bothers to talk to me. At the beginning, most of the people from the school talked to me and pretended to be nice to me, hoping that they would be able to befriend Hayato through me. I saw through them and treated them coldly, making it obvious to everyone that I do not like Hayato at all. That made them gave up trying to butter up to me and none of them even bothered to talk to me after that. Ren, Syo as well as two of Otoya's classmates did not seem to care about that, but we were not close either.
If I had to pick people who I actually am close to, I have to pick her and ironically, Otoya. He was the only one from the school besides Shining Saotome to have my number as well. I did not plan to give it to him but he was really annoying me when he would not stop jumping around and begging me to swap numbers with him. I ended up agreeing to it to get my peace of quiet back and having his number in my phone.
Besides that, he is the only one that knows that I leave school and skip classes at times due to my work as Hayato. Of course he does not know that I am Hayato, but simply the fact that I have a part-time job. He did not ask much due to the fact that he knows it is pointless for him to ask when I would not answer it. He simply said that as long as I can manage and not tire myself out, it should be fine. I could not get why he even cared about me when I was always so cold to him.
Otoya even cares up to the point of when I get back. There were times that he was awake when I came back really late, and he was worried that I would collapse sooner or later. I wanted to say something but returning from being Hayato and seeing him that reminds me of Hayato made it hard for me to speak up and I simply kept silent after assuring him that I was fine.
He himself commented that I was cold to him before too, when I ignore him most of the time. I could not say that I like him when even now I see Hayato in him, it made me unable to stand his presence most of the time, together with his cheery and loudness. The only times that he is actually quiet is when he listens to his headphones, but even then he could be noisy too. Whenever he sings in the room, I end up unable to ask him to be quiet and just stop my work to listen to him. His songs cheer me up and at the same time, remind me that I can never be like him at all.
Hayato is simply just a cheap imitation of him and there were times when I realized that I was acting like him when I was Hayato. I was mad at myself for being unable to return his kindness just because he reminded me of my alter-ego and yet I made Hayato even more similar like him at the same time. My manager did not seem to notice the difference in the Hayato now compared to the one of before and I wondered when had Hayato be nothing of an empty shell? When I first started being Hayato, my feelings were real and I put all my heart and soul into the songs and my work.
But when I learned that I was not going to be able to sing any more, I jumped at the chance that Shining Saotome offered to me. Of course I want more than anything to be able to sing as myself, and not as Hayato. When it was clear to me that it was nearly impossible for me to sing as Hayato, I wanted to sing as Ichinose Tokiya even more. This was why it hurt that no one wanted to listen to me and my songs lacked heart while Hayato's songs have it. But gradually even Hayato's songs lack heart and are insincere.
Shinomiya's words were very much true, which was why I did not stop him but let him sing. His song was really intense and sincere, and once again it contains the thing that my songs lack. My desire to become Ichinose Tokiya has made it impossible for me to be sincere when I am Hayato, whether it's my songs or acting. Basically, I find myself detesting Hayato more and more but I was still grateful to my company even if I was not able to sing any more as Hayato.
I wondered if I was ever able to sing as Ichinose Tokiya ever, or sing for that matter. Even the headmaster says my singing are a disappointment and he was even going to drop me out of S Class. During that time, I could tell that Otoya was very much worried about me but he had no clue what to say to me and I doubt that if he did say something, I would be able to calm down at all.
When I came back drenched after having a small talk with Nanami Haruka when she heard me singing, Otoya was pretty much worried and immediately pushed me into the bathroom. He kept muttering things about me not taking good care of my body and what if I actually fell sick. He threw me his towel saying that it was clean and it saves time having me going to get mine. I sighed and went in the bathroom, hoping that he was not planning on making me wear his clothes too. The towel was red, a shade darker than his hair and it had a light pleasant scent that most likely belonged to him.
Otoya had knocked on the door and left my clothes outside saying that he is off to get me a hot drink so I do not have to worry about coming out when I am done. Much to my surprise, he actually took out a coordinated outfit out that went well together. Seeing that he was not there, I found myself smiling at his actions, being certain that he did not want me to be awkward and left to get the warm drink as an excuse. Funny that I am not able to smile at him when he is there though.
"What are you smiling at?"
I looked up at him in surprise, when did he get back? I completely changed my smile back to my normal look and gave him a blank look, earning me a cute pout from him. "It's unfair that Tokiya never returns my smile or answer my questions. You even stop smiling when you see me!"
I rubbed my forehead and sighed. "I just don't see the need to."
He was quiet as he passed me a warm cup of hot chocolate saying that he was heading off to bed. Perhaps I was much too cold to him but the fact that I see Hayato in him even now does not help one bit. If did not have the façade called Hayato and if he behaved unlike Hayato, we might have became friends. But my life is just so ironic that I just have to end up having the only person that is similar to Hayato to be my roommate. I have noticed that there is no one as bright and warm as him and no one else that is at least a little similar to Hayato.
I nearly gave on ever being able to sing till Nanami Haruka told me that she wanted to hear my songs whether I am Ichinose Tokiya or Hayato. But the hope that she gave me disappeared rather quickly too because I could tell she looks for Hayato in me, whether she's aware of that or not is a mystery. But I kept silent about that because she was still the one that told me that she wanted me to sing and I did enjoy singing with Otoya and the rest. Her skills in composing were for real and she was good. Her melodies were great and it was enjoyable seeing her and Otoya being happy as we came up with lyrics.
I was not as close to the others, making me not paying much attention to them except when it was necessary. It was obvious that Nanami was enjoying herself as well as Otoya, looks like he really does enjoy singing her songs like he told me before. The look that he gave me when he found out that I picked Nanami as my partner as well was cute and really amusing. Most of all, I enjoy the fact that I was able to sing as much as I liked with them and the thought of Hayato did not appear in their mind at all.
I know I was wrong to be late for practice so much but it was something that cannot be helped. I cannot simply just toss Hayato aside yet, not after all the work my company has done for me. I have an obligation to do it properly and act out Hayato perfectly as much as I scoff at that. You would too when you feel like a wash out imitation with someone like Otoya around with you. If people ever meet him, they might even think that I got the idea of Hayato from him, with them being so much alike.
I was bitter, really bitter, even after all this people still compare me to Hayato. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be myself? Even Nanami Haruka looks for Hayato in me, I might be Hayato but my real self is always Ichinose Tokiya and not him. Why doesn't any one look at me and not Hayato even now? Have I not done a good enough job as Ichinose Tokiya? I merely wanted to sing as myself and wanting people to accept me for who I am, is that so hard to ask for? That was all I ever wanted, nothing more and nothing less.
Seeing Otoya looking so carefree and happy as he practiced singing made me want to ask him everything that I wanted to ask people that only sees Hayato. Calling his name immediately caught his attention and he stopped his singing to look at me with a curious expression. I gave a small laugh before speaking up, wondering what exactly am I doing. It was not like voicing out my thoughts is going to make it any better, especially to a person that reminds me of my mask. But I was sick of keeping it bottled up anymore and I really want to hear what he has to say. "Otoya, is it so hard to be seen as Ichinose Tokiya and not Hayato? Everyone just compares me to him like I'm inferior to him no matter what I do. All I wanted was just someone to see me as me and not think of me as Hayato, is it that hard to ask for? Why does no one accept me as Tokiya but Hayato?"
I could see a hurt look appearing on his face before he hid it with a sad smile. Why was he upset by what I said? I should be the only one upset that no one is accepting my real self. I waited patiently for him to speak up and he glanced up at me for a second before looking at the ground. "Nee….Tokiya, have I ever called you Hayato or compared you to Hayato? I only saw you as Tokiya and no one else because you're you and Hayato is Hayato, but what do you see me as? You barely even look at me and whenever you do, there's this irritated expression like you're seeing something in me that reminds you of someone that you don't like. Have you properly acknowledged my existence as who I am and not someone else? To me, you're Tokiya and no one else, even if you don't notice it and don't see me for who I am…."
I blinked and looked at him confusedly. I was about to say that I do see him as Otoya when it hit me that he was very much right. When we first met till now, he had never called me Hayato or even mention anything about me being not as good as Hayato either. But what did I do? I see Hayato in him and refuse to have anything to do with him all because he reminds me of the mask that I created. Rather ironic that I did the same thing that I did not want people to do, to look at him as someone else and not as himself. I felt bad for doing that but would he still see me as Tokiya once he knows I'm Hayato? I took a deep breath and whispered softly. "Hayato is Hayato? Would you still think of me as only Tokiya after you hear this? Ironic as it is, the person called Hayato that's so similar to you and being called my older twin is actually me. Hayato is a façade that my company created and not the real me. I dislike Hayato so much is because he isn't the real me and yet everyone else like him better and he could sing better than me too. I was actually losing to a fake self that I created and being compared to him all the time. I was irritated that no one would see me as Ichinose Tokiya and that Hayato is more wanted and popular than me. Everyone keeps mentioning him like I was nothing, nothing but a cheap imitation of my 'twin' that's not even as good as him. They look at me and search for traces of Hayato that might be in me instead of just accepting Ichinose Tokiya. I'm sorry that I end up not treating for who you are because…you simply remind me of Hayato. You're so much like him that I can't help but see him in you, making it hard for me to look at you as you. It's yet another irony is it not, for me to treat you the way that people treat me. You probably wouldn't see me as Tokiya any more now that you know my secret…"
Why did I even tell him my secret anyway? To make it up to him or to prove that I was right that no one would accept me as me? He was quiet and I laughed bitterly, so the only person that sees me as me is going to disappear like it never existed as well then? "You're still Tokiya are you not? I wouldn't change how I view you even after this. You said it didn't you, Hayato is simply just a facade and the real you is yourself isn't it? In that case, no matter what your mask is, your true self is still you is it not? I'm not going to think of you as Hayato just because it's your other self, but you know, they're both you. They might both be you but the person that I know is Ichinose Tokiya and not Hayato, so it's pointless for me to say which one of you is better. I have been watching and listening to Tokiya and not Hayato all this time am I not? Even if Hayato is you, deep inside you would always be Tokiya and you would remain that way to me. Now that I know why you wouldn't have anything to do with me, you don't have to worry anymore because I get why you do that. I remind you of the thing that you hate the most, no wonder you dislike looking at me. I'm sorry I'm so much like Hayato but my personality can't be changed….."
How could he say that he sees me as Tokiya when I don't even treat him as him? I obviously do not deserve it after what I have done to him. Why does he still worry if I am bothered by the fact that I do not see him as him? Exactly how kind is him? Is he not get hurt by all these? Why is he even apologising to me? He is obviously upset and hurt that I do not treat him as him and yet he still acts like he's fine and worries about me instead. He really was a big fool, that much is certain. But regardless, I am thankful to his words, the fact that he accepts me really makes me happy.
Otoya was still sitting on his bed and not looking at me, obviously not wanting me to see his expression. From the short time that I knew him, I know that he is lousy at hiding his expressions. I hesitated for a moment, not used to physical contact with people at all before I hugged him slowly. That immediately caused him to shift and look up at me and I returned his gaze, wanting to look at him directly for the first time. If he could see me as me, the least I could do was to not think of him as someone that reminds me of Hayato and look at him for real. "Do you really mean that you would look at me as Ichinose Tokiya and not change your mind? I won't see you as Hayato anymore, I promise I will look at you directly from now on and actually become friends with you like you hoped when we first met."
He flashed me a bright smile and nodded his head. He leaned back against me lightly and looked down again. "I really do mean it, Tokiya. There's nothing wrong with being yourself and I really do like you as you as well as your songs. You work harder than anyone up to the point that I felt that studying is the only thing that ever goes in your mind. I'm glad that you're finally going to look at me directly too, let's just start right from the beginning, like the incident with me reminding you of Hayato didn't exist. Tokiya, you have to remember that no matter what, I wouldn't change and compare you to Hayato or look for him in you either."
I smiled, feeling really happy for the first time. Nanami loved my songs and gave me hope to sing but the thing that he gave me was just as important, he gave me acceptance that I could be myself no matter what. I tightened my hug on him for a few seconds more before releasing him. I ruffled his hair and called him an idiot teasingly before reminding him that it was already time for dinner. For once, I actually went to dine with him and that managed to attract a lot of attention that I did not care about. There was no reason to care about people that do not see the real you at all.
Like I promised, I started hanging out with him more. A habit of teasing him started without me noticing and it was really enjoyable to see all the amusing emotions coming out from him. People were pretty much surprised that they actually see me with him, but I made sure to not appear with him too much to prevent too much of weird gossip being spread around. I do not care about them but I did not want to cause troubles for Otoya.
Most of the time I just hang out with him when we are in the room since no one would comment anything then. I had to help with most of his homework too, teaching him the things that he did not get. And that was a lot of things, you would not believe how little he actually knows. I wonder if he even pay attention in class in the first place. Seeing the satisfied smile on his face when he finally gets it is a good enough reward. Like I thought from the beginning, he really is warm and capable of brightening up someone's day. That would be the reason why he was that popular with most of the people in school.
Otoya smiles at anyone, making it hard for people to dislike him with that bright smile of his. The time that I spend with him increases more and more each day, making me used to his company. Most of the times he makes me sing songs that I come up with or listen to ones that he creates. I came up with a couple of duets too, to allow him to sing as well. The things that make him smile brightly are songs and he really enjoys it when he sings with me, flashing me with the brightest smile of all. It was to see that smile that I actually started writing songs that are sang by two people instead of my usual solos.
I liked singing with him because I know that I do not have to worry about him ever thinking that I was not as good as Hayato or that he would rather sing with Hayato. Out of my own free will, I sang with him using Hayato's voice once and I had to agree that it sounded good with both of us using a cheerful voice. I know that it was not Ichinose Tokiya's style to sing such songs and that was why I used Hayato's voice instead. Otoya seemed the same as always, not showing any signs that he actually preferred me singing as Hayato instead of Tokiya. I had to admit that part of it was a test to see if he would change his mind.
Of course I am glad that he still accepts me as me even now, that is more than enough for me. At least that was what I felt at that time. For some reasons, he is capable of spotting and knowing where I am easily when I am in a spot that he's able to see. There are times when I happen to spot him with the others and he would always turn in my direction and wave at me as he shouts out my name. At the beginning I would just think nothing of it and just wave back at him, knowing that he would understand why I did not smile back at him. But then it simply happens more and more that it already becomes more than luck and coincidence.
When I asked him about it, he showed me a puzzled look and said that he just does and whenever he does turn around, I end up being near him like he thought. How is that even possible? I gave up figuring that out when it was obviously hopeless and impossible to solve. It was during our usual alone time that I realized what he was to me exactly. I felt jealousy, utter jealousy when he talks about other people fondly with a really happy smile on his face.
Unlike him, the person that I actually spend time with was him alone while he spends his time with the others beside me. I knew that I only take up part of his time and life but still it made me jealous that he was talking about other people when he's with me. Did he not say that he would always see me, why is he talking about other people? I sound pretty possessive do I not? I laughed mentally to myself, wondering why was I that bothered in the first place. I was jealous, that much I am sure but why exactly am I jealous? Because I want him all to myself? To be the one that has most of his attention and not share him with anyone? Is that what a friend is? That does not seem that way does it not?
Then what exactly is he to me? I frowned and lied on my bed as I tried to think that through. I wanted his attention to be mostly on me, which I get whenever we are in the room. But when we are outside, his attention would not be on me so much anymore when he is with all the other people and I do not stay with him then either. The only times when I am actually interacting with him is when we are alone. How am I even jealous when I just spend at most a quarter of my time with him? I was getting more and more frustrated by the second and I still had not figured out what it was. I decided to just leave it be for the moment and maybe I would figure it out later.
It was time to leave anyway, back to being Hayato again. When I came back, I was tired and really unhappy. Once again, they had made the schedule without seeking my opinion and cancelled the offer of me singing for an advertisement. Was it that hard for them to allow me to sing? I was snapped out from my thoughts when I heard Otoya calling me in a worried tone of voice. I looked over to him and forced a small smile to reassure him that I was fine. He did not seem to buy it though, frowning that I was showing him a fake smile. Looks like lying to him would be pointless and I sighed before telling him the truth.
I widened my eyes in surprise when I felt a soft pressure on my right cheek before I found myself being tugged forward in a hug. He whispered softly about not really sure what to do when people are upset and that hugs are what cheer him up whenever he was sad. I know that it was just an innocent gesture from him that he did without much thought, it must be a normal thing to him. That did seem like what he would do, he never does put much thought into what he does, doing whatever that pops out in his head. But nevertheless, it was comforting and warm and I hugged him back. I smiled when I heard him say that he could not do anything to help at all and he sounded upset that he was not able to do anything.
I tightened the hug slightly and shook my head, telling him that the hug is more than enough. The fact that it was something for me and not Hayato was already good enough for me and it being from him makes it even more important to me. It was at that time that I finally figured it out, what I actually feel towards was. Perhaps it already started on the day that he promised that he would always look at the real me regardless of anything. I ruffled his hair and assured him that if he wants to do something for me, he would just stay in this position a little longer. I closed my eyes and concentrated on his warmth as well as his comforting scent. It really did help to calm me down and make me feel better despite knowing that I had to let go sooner or later. But for now, I just want to enjoy his company, even if it only last for a short while. Otoya did not seem awkward at the hug at all, like it was nothing strange for me to want to let go yet. I assume that he just guessed that I was really down and this was all because I wanted comfort. I did want his comfort but the other part was just to want to enjoy having him close to me.
I reluctantly released him and flashed him a grateful smile. He returned it with one of his own and made me promise to tell him next time whenever I have something bothering me with his puppy eyes that were really cute that I could almost see him with dog ears and tail. I realized that I would no doubt be weak against that and agree to whatever he says if I look at it long enough. I just hope that he would not figure that out and decide to use it more often. But he was pleased that I agreed to that. I got caught up in the moment by his pleased smile and offered him something in return for his help which ended up being an outing together on our next break. Lucky that it was not something bad and I really do not mind spending more time with him.
I saw him with Nanami in the corridor the next day laughing happily together. I stepped to the side, not wanting Otoya to spot me. I knew I was jealous and I could not stop the jealousy from raging up. I looked at them from the corner and smiled sadly, Otoya really does get along well with anyone doesn't he? And I know that he likes her too, from the way he would smile as he talks about her. Otoya waved to her before walking off first and I turned around to leave when Nanami called out to me. I held back a glare and sent her a cold stare instead, waiting for her to go on with what she had to say. When it was clear that she was not going to speak any time soon, I opened my mouth to speak instead. "I'm grateful to you because you gave me hope to sing again, but even then, I refuse to give that person to you. Like you, that person helped me when I needed it and gave me strength to be myself. That person acknowledged me for who I am even after everything and there's no way I will ever let you have that person. I still owe you something but that person is much more important to me than you because that person sees me as Ichinose Tokiya and no one else while you are different. You might like both my songs but you still have something that you have not noticed yet. Unlike you, I need that person more than you and I value that person more than you ever will too. This is why no matter what happens, I will never give up on that person."
I walked off once I was done speaking, feeling a lot better than I managed to get the words out of my mouth. I was determined to not let her have Otoya no matter what because he really does mean more to me than he will ever be to her. She does not need him more than I do and she still has other people to turn to. But the only person that would always stay true and sees me as me will always be Otoya and he alone and I had already grown to like him more than I am supposed to. I smiled weakly at that, once again feeling the ironies in my life. I actually fell in love with the person that I hated in the past because he reminded me of Hayato. But now he is the most important person to me and the person that makes Ichinose Tokiya alive.
Otoya is irreplaceable to me because he is the only person that sees me as me and I doubt that anyone else will be able to do the same after they find out that I am Hayato and not his younger twin. They already compare me to him before they even know that I am him, once they know that I am him there is no doubt that they would just see me as Hayato and nothing else. It would be like I did not exist at all and everyone would just see Hayato and nothing else. That is why Otoya means so much to him because he makes me feel that I actually exist and it is fine for me to be Ichinose Tokiya and not Hayato.
When I got back to the room, Otoya was already changed and he seemed very excited as the first thing he did when I opened the door was to throw himself at me saying that I should get changed immediately. I raised an amused eyebrow at his actions and asked what he was planning to do. He still remembered my promise of an outing together and immediately asked for it claiming that there was this new guitar accessories that he wanted to have no matter what as well as there being a new place that he wanted to try the food at. I chuckled softly before pushing him gently away from me to get my clothes.
When he realized that he was in my way, he sheepishly stepped aside and shouted that he was going to wait for me outside before leaving. He really was like an innocent kid and I wonder if he realizes that he's way too carefree and an airhead. Deciding not to keep him waiting for long, I picked out an outfit and dressed quickly. He was grinning like a kid when I opened the door and he hooked his arms around mine and barely gave me the chance to close the door before he had started running again. He must really want those guitar accessories really badly and I was surprised that he did not drag anyone else with him. Not that I mind that he did not of course.
When we got into the shop, he released his grip on me that had attracted a lot of attention the whole time that we got there. I had on sunglasses but that might not help to cover that I was Hayato either. Otoya pushed me and asked me to get myself something too since I'm already all the way here in the shop and there was not much people there either so I was free to stroll around and look at the different types of things. Otoya already had his heart set on what to buy which took him merely a few minutes for him to be done with it. He was looking eagerly at his book before he checked to see if I was done.
I nodded my head and once again, I found myself being led away by him. That café seemed to have caught his attention too for he was still pretty much hyper as he told me what he was going to order. It was a pretty nice café and I tapped him on the arm to put a place in the corner with lesser people. He understood immediately and smiled cheerfully as he continued tugging me with him. I really wonder if he failed to notice all the stares that had been directed to us from his arm hooking around mine or he really was that oblivious. Lucky for that, people had directed their attention mostly to our arms instead of my face. Two guys hooking arms around obviously attracts a lot of attention but Otoya seemed so happy and I did not mind being dragged around by him either. People can continue staring as they want, I do not care as long as I get to hang around with Otoya. He probably does not know how wrong his actions look to other people but that was one of the things that make me like him.
The other thing that I like best of all is his smile, it was so dazzling like the sun itself. Whenever he directs one that's meant for me, I could not help but smile back at him. Ever since I figured out what I felt towards him, I could tell that it's not decreasing but increasing instead. I should be disgusted that I fell in love with a male or something but whenever I look at his face, that thought never crosses my mind. He is really cute at times that you wish that you could lock him up and keep him to yourself forever and ever. But that would be restricting him and I doubt that he would ever smile hat brightly if I ever did anything that displeases him. His angry face is cute too though, making me think more of him looking cute than trying to calm his down. His sad and the puppy-eyes look could probably make anyone melt and agree with whatever he says. At least I would not be able to resist him when he sends me those looks.
Even if other people would not accept it, I would not care because Otoya is the first person that accepted me and that means more to me than anything else. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Otoya was pouting and waving the menu in my face. I awkwardly took the menu from him to find the waitress waiting for my order. I had a dreamy look as she looked at me and back to Otoya again and I knew that I did not want her around for long, not liking the looks she was sending to Otoya. He seemed oblivious as ever, I wonder if he ever realizes the effect he has on people. When he smiled at her, her face was red and I quickly shoved the menu to her and simply picked the first set meal that was on the menu and hurried her off.
She walked away rather giddily and I frowned deeply as I sent Otoya a stare. He gave a surprised "Eh?" as he shifted uncomfortably at my stare and questioned why I was staring at him. I huffed and kept quiet, not intending to answer at all. I might be childish at this but I was really jealous that he just smiled at her like it was nothing and he did not even stop her from looking at him in that way too.
I knew that he was just too oblivious as well as innocent in his actions but I could not help but to blame him anyway. Sending him one last stare, I looked down at the table scowling that the same waitress is probably the one that is going to serve us too. I was well aware that none of the people would be able to spot me from the place that we are sitting at so I took off the sunglasses. Otoya seemed to disagree with my decision and was protesting when the waitress came back and immediately stopped whatever he was saying to not blow my cover.
She was looking at Otoya with a big smile before she placed my food on the table and caught notice of my face which was a gasp and a whispered Hayato-sama? I rolled my eyes at the change of her target and shook my head saying that I was not him. Otoya added in that I was just a lookalike that people often mistake for Hayato. Ignoring her seductive smile, I waved her off asking her to let us eat in peace.
Otoya was frowning at me as he asked me why I took off the sunglasses. I answered that I dislike wearing them and the thought of wearing them while I ate was not nice to me. I smiled and commented that I found it amusing that he said I was a lookalike of Hayato and who knew he cared about people thinking that I was Hayato. He whispered softly to himself with a faint blush on his cheeks that he just did not want people's attention to be on us.
How he had failed to see that we had people's attention on us a long time ago is beyond me. His actions have long ago attracted people's attention since the beginning but yet he still had not noticed it. He was still whispering to himself that I was a jerk to ignore him and then try to get people to realize that I am Hayato. I laughed softly and stuffed my forkful of chicken in his mouth to shut him.
Otoya flushed bright red as he bit the meat and pulled the fork away from his mouth. "What was that for?"
I grinned and took my fork back from him and took another forkful of food towards him. "It seemed to be the best way to get your out from your corner. Did you not look forward to dining at this place in the first place?"
His face was still red as he took the fork from me and placed it back on my plate. "I was but that doesn't mean you have to tease me and feed me. I can eat by myself!"
Otoya pouted and stabbed a piece of potato and pointed the fork at my mouth. I smirked and slowly bit the potato away before directing his hand by towards the table. I simply shrugged after that and asked him to blame himself for not eating and just muttering over there. His pout remained as he started eating his food, silence passed as we ate before it bothered him and he spoke again. He asked if I enjoyed myself today and I looked at him in surprise.
I had finally figured out the reason why he had me come here with him, he wanted to cheer me up by getting me out to divert my thoughts elsewhere. I smiled gratefully at him and nodded my head, earning me a bright and cheerful smile from him. He said that he was glad and that I really should smile more instead of keeping a stoic face like usual. I poked his forehead and urged him to eat more and that we could talk later once we are done.
He was talking with his mouth full of food and I was worried that he was going to choke. He spoke one last sentence before he heeded my words and that was something I was not sure if I should agree or not. He asked if I could join him and the rest for lunch next time and I kept quiet about that as I considered if I should or not.
I brushed him off to speak later and we went back to eating silently. Once we were done, I made sure to stand up and drag Otoya with me to pay at the counter to avoid seeing that waitress again. Of course by this time I had my sunglasses back on and people were not looking much at us for once which was a relief. Once we were outside, Otoya enquired if there were any places that I wanted to go before we go back seeing that we had been going to places that he wanted to go.
I hesitated for a while before pointing to the bookstore that was opposite of the café. Otoya pulled a face before he tugged me along inside it. I chuckled at his action and asked him to just wait near the counter for me, no need for him to go along looking books with me when he is not interested in it at all. We really were direct opposites were we not? But regardless, I do enjoy his company and he does brighten my mood a lot with his smile.
Not wanting to bore him too much, I skimmed through the bookshelves quickly and picked a couple of books before going to the counter. I could always get a better look next time I come alone. Once we were out, I could hear him sighing in relief. Books were never his thing when he's an outdoors person. Explains how he could be so energetic all the time. We got back in the dorm and I thanked him for his time and for trying to make me feel better.
He looked awkwardly away when he realized that I had already seen through his intentions. He went back to smiling and gave me a quick hug saying that he was glad that I was better now before going off into the bathroom. I shook my head at his innocent gesture, knowing that it did not mean much to him in the first place and I should not think much of it. I closed my eyes and waited for him to come back out and to compose myself. I hope he is not going to be that physical anymore, even if I do like his touch.
I really had no intention of eating lunch with him and the rest but when he gave me a look that reminded me of a dejected puppy, I had no choice but to agree. I sighed and muttered whatever to him before he gleefully pulled me to sit next to him to the shock of the others who sent me surprised looks. I mentally made a note to myself to not go near him the next time I get lunch and be sure to be out of sight of him in case of a repeat from happening again.
It was pretty weird and awkward sitting there with them talking to each other and me being all silent. Nanami seemed pretty glad that I was sitting there and she was smiling the whole time. The only reason why I noticed was because she was sitting directly across me and she kept trying to start a conversation with me. I answered some of the questions that were thrown my way by the others, paying attention mostly to Otoya.
That seemed to piss Jinguji off and he asked why I was sitting here if I was just going to be in my own world in the first place. I pointed to Otoya and explained that I was here because he asked me to and I did not want to hear his whining later if I did not agree to it. Otoya really does act like a puppy sometimes and although it's cute, I rather not deal with it so much.
Otoya started frowning and shushed all of us to not start a fight and that he invited me over to eat with them. Nanami was quick to agree with him and the both of them managed to calm the others down. They seemed to work really well together and I was tempted to leave just this instant, not wanting to see how in sync they were with each other. I silently looked down at my food and ate quickly.
When I finished, I poked Otoya and told him I was leaving first. I made a decision not to look at his face when I said that, knowing that he would probably send me a look that would make me change my mind. It did not work as he clung to me and forced me to sit back down. I sighed and leaned against him as I asked him why is he not letting me go. He shouted that I rarely do join them and now that I am here, I should stay to the end.
He had a death-grip on me and I had no say in whether I wanted to stay or not. I could only sit through this till he decides to let go of me. I started taking part in the conversation in hopes that that would make Otoya release me sooner. There were many questions about why I do not join them and I merely answered that I enjoyed eating alone which Otoya was going to rebuke if I did not poked him in the ribs with my elbow softly.
I repeated sternly that I rather eat alone then with people and Otoya kept quiet this time. Nanami commented that it was sad and I should eat with them more often. I shook my head and disagreed. Jinguji and his roommate did not seem to like my presence here much too. I am not that dumb to stay at a place where people do not like me much. With the mention of Hayato, my voice turned cold and Otoya sensing my anger released his grip on me and came up with an excuse about him forgetting that he had something to do with me as he pulled me away from the table.
He had an apologetic look on his face as he tried to calm me down with words that they did not mean to bring up Hayato and he was supposed to my older brother after all. I sent him a glare and asked him to go away. Otoya did not move though and tugged me into a hug saying that I should relax and no matter what, he still views and prefers me as Tokiya and not Hayato. I returned his hug for a second before asking him to let go in a softer voice. He flashed me a smile as I ruffled his hair before pouting as he tried to straighten his hair back.
I gave a small snicker before pushing him to go back to the rest. I shrugged him off by saying that I wanted to read quietly with the rest of the time left. Otoya sent me a final wave before he walked off and I went towards the library which was almost void of people. No much people ever comes here anyway and I know that I will have the peace and quiet that I need right now. I closed my eyes and smiled, his views still did not change yet and I am grateful to that.
I really should work on not throwing my temper whenever people mention Hayato but it is hard when it feels like they are comparing me to him and even if Hayato is me, I still feel annoyed that they do. How would they like to not be treated as themselves and being compared to other people all the time? Would they like it? I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, it being harder once I sent Otoya away. The best way to calm me down right now would be him and his hug and words had already made me much more relaxed compared to earlier.
Really, it's hard to stop feeling so bitter when no one wants you to be yourself. My manager keeps deciding things for me and he even calls me Hayato when we are alone. It's like he has long forgotten that deep down I am Ichinose Tokiya and not Hayato. I wonder how everyone would react if my cover gets blown one day. Currently there are just three people in the school that knows my identity and only two people actually cares about me sincerely.
I went back to being alone during lunch, much to Otoya's dismay. I made sure that I would not bump into him during lunch and he had no choice but to give up on his idea of me eating with them. Like usual, I was able to spot him and the rest and he would always turn around and wave at me with a cheerful smile.
The time when everything changed and the peace between the both of us started broke was when Valentine's Day came. It was true that we had a no love rule but Saotome said that it would be fine for the girls to give their chocolates and proclaim that they liked you since it would be like a form of practice from having fangirls dumping you with confessions and presents. The only thing would be that they are not allowed to actually date, which made me think that the whole thing is pointless.
How did I even get chocolates when I am usually so cold to people surprises me. Shinomiya gave the rest and me cute-looking chocolates that he made himself. While he was distracted, Otoya and Kurusu hinted to us that we would die if we ever ate them. I raised an eyebrow at that but since Otoya said it isn't edible with a straight face, I was not going to eat it. I tossed it aside and tried to find a way to avoid all these people.
So people even had the nerve to have me pass off chocolates to my 'older brother'. I sent them all a cold glare and muttered a no and walked away. I did not even want those chocolates in first place, Jinguji on the other hand seems to enjoy all the attention while his roommate is looking at him in disgust.
I shrugged and continued walking and sneaked into the nurse's office to avoid all these crazy girls. From the window, I spotted Otoya outside with a group of girls surrounding him. He had an embarrassed look as he tried to escape from them before he looked up and spotted me looking at him. He immediately mouthed my name and waved happily at me, whatever embarrassment he had earlier to disappear from his face. It was then that I realized that Nanami was near him too.
I moved away from the window and closed the curtains before sitting down on the bed. There were no one inside at the moment and I gave a punch to the pillows. I did not like how Otoya had all these girls surrounding him and Nanami was around too. I was plain jealous, no doubt about that. I was selfish, I have to admit that but I really want to keep him all to myself. But that's impossible right, when he does not like me that way in the first place and I have no right to control who he is with.
That does not stop me from feeling all bitter though. I hated them, and I wished that they would all just stay away from him and just go bug someone else. As much as I like to say that he's mine, I know that it is not true for Otoya does not belong to just me and neither does his smiles. I bet he treats me the same as everyone else too. That just makes me feel worse and I am already laughing at myself for falling so far.
The door opened harshly and I heard panting before the door was locked and whoever had opened the door was walking towards me. Thinking that it might be yet another girl I looked up to see a pair of red eyes that I could recognize anyway, I looked at him in surprise and asked him why he was here. He brushed aside my question and brought his palm up against my forehead and checked if I was injured.
He gave a pretty loud sigh as he smiled in relief before finally answering me. "Don't seem to have anything wrong with you. Are you feeling alright? I was worried when I realized that you were here and you didn't respond when I waved either."
Physically I was fine but mentally, I was just mad and hurt that he allowed all those girls to be around him. Why was he here anyway? To check to see if I was alright? Well, I am definitely not grateful for that and I shook my head. Having people trying to use you is bad enough and I still had to spot that scene down there and I bet that he was pleased that he had Nanami with him.
"Eh? You're not fine? I shall go look for the nurse then—"
He had a worried look on his face as he turned to walk towards the door only to have me stop him. By that time I was already overwhelmed with anger, hurt and jealousy from all the people trying to use me to get to Hayato as well as Otoya being so friendly with all those girls that I could barely think straight anymore. I had stood up and tugged him towards me that he had stumbled and had to hold onto my shoulders to prevent him from falling.
He had a confused look in his eyes as I looked at him and spoke quickly. "There's no need for that. You want to cure my problem, that's easy enough when the nurse wouldn't be able to do a thing but you can."
I smiled and harshly tilted his head with my right hand as I looked into his further confused ones and just as he was about to speak, I kissed him. I was probably going to regret this once my mind starts working properly again but for now, I will just enjoy it for the moment. He looked pretty much shocked and he completely did not move at all as in he was frozen. I closed my eyes and despite not having a reaction from him, I deepened it. His still opened mouth was giving me a big help in that task and I pulled back nearly as fast as I started it.
He was still staring at me when I opened my eyes but my mind still had not returned yet. I flashed him a small smile and when I made a movement to move forward again his senses finally returned as his face grew bright red as he shoved me back. It was sort of too late though, for I had already managed to lick his kips before he reacted. He whispered a soft why to me as he looked at the ground.
I knew he was mad and by then, I had finally broke whatever trance I was in and it was already too late. I was quiet when I finally realized whatever I had done. There was no way I could undo whatever I did earlier and he sent me a hurt look before he dashed out of the room. I laughed softly and lied on the bed as I closed my eyes, wondering what had I just done.
I had no doubt hurt him deeply by my actions when he was that concern about me. His red face was cute but the hurt look he sent me made me feel really guilty. I had no right to do what I did earlier and he would most likely not talk to me anymore. The fact that I had not answered him must have given him some thoughts that I did that with no meaning and he was the type that would most likely care if his kiss got stolen from him.
Otoya had done so much for me and yet I did that to him, I really did not deserve whatever kindness that he had given me. Why did I get so lost in my emotions that I lost my mind? No matter how much I reprimand myself, I know it's too late to remedy whatever friendship the both of us had. When had I been this sentimental anyway? From the first time I know that I can reveal myself to Otoya as well as whatever emotions that I had?
He was the only person that I could show my emotions to but that did not mean that I should have done that. I could have just tell him that instead of doing whatever I just did. I made a resolve to look for the headmaster and have him let me move back into the mansion. I do not think that Otoya would want to look at me anymore and to live in the room with him not wanting to see me just hurts and I would rather not see him anymore. That way, neither of us would be upset.
I was a fool, that much I'm aware of. I did not have the right to even see him anymore now do I? I sighed and left the room, not wanting to be reminded of what I did earlier. With just a few steps of walking, I had already bumped into Nanami. She blushed when she saw me and started stuttering for me to listen to her. I was not in the mood to but I had been unfriendly with her enough and with a sigh I signaled her to go on with what she was about to say.
She pushed me a small box and asked me to listen to her. With really red cheeks and very long stutters, she finally blurted that she really liked me a lot. I looked at her skeptically and asked her if she was sure that the person she really liked was me or Hayato. Her face grew redder and she shook her head and said that whether or not it's me or Hayato it would be of no difference.
I scoffed at that and pointed out to her that she still refers to Hayato as Hayato-sama even now and whether she is sure that she has been looking at me as Tokiya and Tokiya alone all this time. If she dared to admit if she had never saw me as Hayato when we were practicing, she was quiet and I thanked her for her help for she did help give me hope to be able to sing again and I probably would not have been able to continue if it was not for her back then. I did not manage to listen to whatever she was saying because Otoya was behind her and his face reflected hurt and he had tears in his eyes. He must have overheard our conversation and misunderstood something.
I frowned and chased after him as I shout a no to her. No wonder he was that good in soccer, his speed was really fast. From this direction the only place he could have gone to would be the meadows but there were a lot of trees for him to hide in. I continued shouting his name to no avail as he refused to answer me.
After a few minutes of useless searching, I finally came across him leaning against a tree with his face hidden from view. I called out to him softly and still he refused to look at me. "Tokiya, are you sure that you should be here and not with Nanami? I don't get you Tokiya…why did you do that when…. Nanami confessed to you didn't she? Congratulations, you can leave now….. Nee…..Tokiya, did that mean anything to you? I know I'm an idiot to ask you this when you're already with Nanami but I really want to know….why…."
His voice was soft and full of hurt and I did not like that tone at all. I was used to his happy and bright tone of voice that he uses normally, even the one of anger is much better than this. It was almost like he was void of life and not like his usual self at all. I stood a step forward and leaned down towards him, staring at the top of his head as he was still facing the ground.
Taking a deep breath, I spoke slowly for I know that it is going to be the last time that I am going to be able to talk to him. "First of all, Nanami and I are not together because the person that I like isn't her. She was the one that first gave me hope to sing again and that is a fact that would never change, but even so I can't return her feelings. The person that I liked is very important to me, even though I treated the person the way that I have been detesting people for treating me, ironic is it not? But that person turned out to be the only person that actually accepts and acknowledges me, giving me the strength and hope to be myself. No matter what happens, I know that I at least have that person with me to accept Ichinose Tokiya and that meant a lot to me. I was sick of people comparing me to Hayato and that person was the one and only person to see me as me. After spending time with that person, my feelings simply increased more and more each time. That person's smile saved me too for it gave light to me and it helped to brighten my mood each day. I loved that person's smile even if it wasn't meant for just me and that person is much too oblivious to things. That person was the direct opposite of me and just seem to be full of sunshine and is well-liked by everyone else. I know that there was no way that that person would ever figure what I feel or that I am even worthy of that person. I really liked that person and I would love to be able to make that person happy but I just don't have the ability to. Even after all this time, all I can do is hurt him…"
I patted him on the head before I stood up and sent him one last look before I turned in the opposite direction and finished what I had to say. "But that's all over now for now the hurt that I inflicted is going to be the last and final one. It might be hard to be away from the only person that gives light to my life but it's the best thing that I can do. I will forever owe that person what he has done for me as well as all the things that I caused him to feel. I wouldn't exist in that person's world anymore and that's fine. After all, haven't I been alone all these time? It would be hard to fall back into the routine of being alone but I would be fine. Good bye and thank you, Otoya. I will seek the headmaster's approval for me to move out and you won't have to see me anymore….I can't take back all the things that I did to you and I probably never did anything for you either, but it was enjoyable for me. The next time we meet, you just have to pretend that you don't know me. I won't cause you any trouble or hurt anymore because that's the thing that I don't want more than anything…..That's all I have to say, good bye now Otoya…."
I smiled to myself and walked away, not having the heart to look at him anymore. I probably would not be able to hear him call me Tokiya anymore or see his smile but the memories are more than enough. I was going to miss him a lot more than I let on but I am not confident that I would not hurt him anymore. I could hear hurried footsteps but still I did not turn around to look, it could be other people here anyway.
My next movement was sealed when a pair of familiar of arms were placed around my waist in a tight hug. I tried to pry them off but they had a tight grip and without even turning around to look, I know who it was. I shut my eyes and asked him to let me go. I felt him shaking his head and his grip tightened even more. I urged him to release me once again but he still refused to.
"I'm not letting go, Tokiya. You said that you didn't want me to feel hurt now, didn't you? If that's the case, don't ask me to let go and don't go either. I don't want you to go and neither do I want you out of my life. Once again Tokiya, have you asked how I felt? I was upset that you didn't explain why you did it and the next time that I saw you, you were with Nanami. I told you were messing with me, but I was wrong. Nee, Tokiya, why didn't you just tell me so right from the beginning? I told you from the start that I liked you for you, from that time I already liked you. At first I just wanted your attention because you were never looking at me and when you do, you were seeing past me and into something else. I was impressed by how hard you worked and you were always studying and giving it your all. I ended up watching you more than I realized and when you explained to me the reason behind it, I wanted to understand you more and that was why I always wanted you to hang out with me. I liked your smile, the smile that you show to me from time to time and the caress that you give to me even though it messes up my hair. I like hanging out with you, it's nice and I know that you wouldn't mind even if I'm being the airhead that I am. I'm dense so I never notice your discomfort or the things that you hold back but if you tell me, I would understand…."
I gripped his hand and softly urged him to let go. He dejectedly released me and looked really down. I chuckled as I turned around to face him and pulled him in a hug. I managed to shush him before speaking, using one hand to pat through the soft strands of hair that I enjoy having my hand around. "Why so dejected? I never said that I'm going to leave anymore but you know, if you don't let me leave right now, there's no way I will ever be willing to let you go anymore."
He was sobbing as he clung tighter to me scolding me for being such a tease. "Does it look like I want you to let me go? I'm not letting you go either but Tokiya, you have to promise me that you wouldn't keep everything to yourself anymore."
I released him and flicked his forehead, earning a cute pout from him as he rubbed his forehead. "Pretty demanding aren't you? But it's something that I can promise you no doubt. You have to prepare yourself, now that you're tying yourself to me, not only would I not let you go, I would want most of your attention and neither would I be willing to share you with anyone else either. You would have to live with me being all possessive of you, are you sure you're ready to live with that?"
I was partly teasing but I did mean most of what I said though. He gave another pout before he nodded his head, complaining that I enjoy teasing him too much and that I'm way too controlling and possessive. I shrugged and walked off, further teasing him by saying that he just has to live without me then. That caught his attention and he immediately gripped onto my hand and muttering that he agrees to what I said.
I smirked and leaned down to kiss his cheek that made his cheek flush a faint pink. So if I kissed his cheek he would turn pink and I wonder if he would grow red if I kissed his lips. No doubt that I am going to get a habit of teasing him from now on, but it's fine now is it not? He is mine to keep now and I would never let him go ever and if he wants to leave, I would make sure to ensure that he would change his mind.
His face really did grow red when I kissed him and I made sure to watch his face closely when I did and he did respond to me this time, making it a lot more enjoyable than before. It's always better to have the person that you like kiss you back after all. When we pulled apart he fished around his pocket till he took out a watch that was a matched pair to his and he pushed it to me saying that it was a gift to me and that he expects a return present on one day.
I laughed as I placed it on and gave him another kiss. He complained to me about me being a kissing monster that does nothing but tease and kiss him. I sent him an amused look and repeated his words to him. He got up and pulled a monkey face at me as he dashed away. I chased after him and smiled for real, it looks like we still had a long to do with working on our debut together as well as keeping this relationship going and under wraps but I know that we will be able to do so if we both worked hard.
The best place that I want to be when I sing is to be with him and I'm sure that the headmaster would agree to us singing as an unit when he hears our songs. I caught up to him at last and held onto him tightly as I kissed the top of his head, it was good to be taller than him. If he thinks that I am a kiss monster, I guess I just have to live up to the name. He gave a surprised yelp when he heard my words and shouted that he was just kidding and I had no need to do it.
I shook my head and told him that it was much to late for him to change his mind now. He groaned and pointed an accusing finger at me that he would run away from me if I really did do it. I kept a death grip on him and reminded him that I already warned him that I was never letting him go and he did promise that he would have to live with it. He sent me another pout while I grinned triumphantly.
It was still weird that there were so many ironies in my life, with the main one of me falling for the person who is like my alter ego. But it was something that I did not mind for now I am sure that I would be able to cast away Hayato even if everyone prefers Hayato to me, I would still have Otoya with me and that is more than enough for me.
[[ I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT CAME TO THIS ENDING. HALFWAY THROUGH, I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST WRITING CRAP….
And now that I think about it, my writing style changed ever since I started writing Uta Pri fanfics….. How did I not notice this till now- ]]