I do not own Hetalia. None of this makes sense, and I think I was drunk when I wrote this.


Lovino and Antonio were fighting... As usual...

"Well, if you wouldn't call me cute or Lovi than I wouldn't yell at you!" Lovino yelled.

"First, I'm just being honest, and second, it's JUST a nickname." Antonio said, "What's wrong with honesty and nicknames?"

"I never said anything was wrong with honesty. I just said that I'm not cute because I was being honest." Lovino huffed, "And nicknames are evil!"

"Well, at least I call you a name." Antonio frowned, "You just call me thing like 'you', and" he paused, "Actually that's all you call me." he looked at Lovino, "Why can't you call me by my name, Lovi?" he smirked, "You do remember it, don't you?"

"Of course I do." Lovino glared.

"Well, what is it?"

"Why should I tell you your own name?"

"Because I want you to prove that you know it."

"I don't have to prove anything to you."

"So, you don't remember my name?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Than what is it?"

"Why do you need me to tell you?"

Antonio got in Lovino's face, "Because I want to hear YOU say it."

Lovino felt his face heat up, and he backed away from the Spaniard, "Um, well, I-I-I-I mean, um, it's just that- Y-You-" he let out a frustrated sigh, "Ch-Chigii! J-Just stay our of my face!"

Antonio got in Lovino's face again, "Not until you say my name."

"I-It's A-Antonio." Lovino blushed backing away from the Spaniard again. He backed into the wall.

"See, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"

"J-Just make sure you stay out of my face."

"Okay!" Antonio nodded.

Lovino went to his room and fell on his bed. Why he kept staying at Antonio's place, he'd never know, but a place to stay is a place to stay. If you can get through the current day than you're okay. Anyway, soon after he fell on his bed, he fell asleep.

Then he woke up... And the first thing he saw was... Ludwig?

"What are you doing here?" Lovino asked confused beyond all belief, "And why do you have white rabbit ears?"

"You're late!" The German shouted, "That is very bad!"

"What? What am I late for?" Lovino asked, "And answer my question!"

"Get out of bed! And go down stairs right now!" Ludwig shouted, "There's no time to answer questions just go! Go! GO!"

Not wanting to argue with the German, Lovino did what he was told but stopped at the door.

"Why am I wearing a dress?" He turned around and expected to see Ludwig, but instead he saw no one, "Where'd he- Huh? Never mind." He went downstairs.

He found Roderich and Elizaveta standing very still in the kitchen... Almost like statues... Creepy. They were also dressed alike.

"Hey, um, do you two know where Ludwig went?" Lovino asked, "I asked him some questions, but he said I was late for something and didn't answer."

"Is that so?" Roderich asked, "Well, I haven't seen him. Have you, Elizaveta?"

"No, I haven't seen ears nor tail of him." Elizaveta replied, "Did he say what you were late for?"

"No." Lovino huffed, "That's one of the questions I asked him. He just told me to go down stairs."

"Oh." Roderich sighed, "Well, can we put on a show for you?"

"Uh, sure?" Lovino raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly a spotlight lit up a piano... How did that go unnoticed?

Roderich played the piano and Elizaveta sang.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do

Do Ti La So Fa Mi Re Do

"Okay, we're done." Elizaveta smiled.

"Okay?" Lovino was very confused.

"You didn't like it?" The Hungarian fowned.

"I-I thought it was lovely." Lovino forced a smile.

"Yay!" Elizaveta cheered, "He liked it Roderich! Isn't that great?"

"Of course it is, dear." Roderich nodded, "Well, second verse!"

As Roderich and Elizaveta went for the second verse... If that's what you'd call it... Lovino snuck out the window... Why was it opened? Only God knows. Why didn't Lovino go out the door? It was locked and would have creaked when it was being opened. Duh.

Anyway, as Lovino was walking down the street, he couldn't help but notice the lack of people. He sighed, "Where is everyone? Why am I in a dress? Why is Ludwig dressed as a rabbit? Where's Antonio? When did Elizav├ęta and Roderich go crazy? When will my questions be answered? When will I stop talking to myself?" He looked around and Ludwig ran past him.

"You're late! Late! Late!"

"What am I late for?"

Lovino was chasing after the German.

"There's no time to answer questions! You're late! You're late! You're late!"

"But I don't know what I'm late for, you idioto!"

"Late!" Ludiwg took a left turn, so Lovino did as well. However, when Lovino came to a dead-end, Ludiwg was no where in sight.

"I never thought I'd find myself chasing after the potato idioto." Lovino groaned.

"Good morning, Lovino-san." Kiku said walking out of the shadows.

"You're not gonna try to sing for me, are you?" Lovino asked ready to run if necessary.

"No, no." Kiku, who sort of looked like a caterpillar, shook his head, "I would never do something like that."

"Then what do you want?"

"How would you like to be three inches tall?"

"I don't think I'd like that at all."

"Would you like to see ME turn three inches all?"

"That would be interesting, I guess."

There was a poof of smoke, and Kiku was no where to be seen. Lovino looked around, but did not see the Japanese man... Until he heard a very small voice.

"Lovino-san, down here!"

Lovino looked down and caught glimpse of what looked like Kiku, so he kneeled down to get a closer look. It WAS Kiku.

"Three inches seems like a horrible height to be." Lovino sighed, "It's so small."

"Three inches is a very nice hieght!" Kiku said.

"Well, I'll stay my normal height and leave now." Lovino stood up, turned around, and left. He walked around for what felt like forever until Feliciano appeared out of nowhere.

"F-Feliciano, you nearly gave me a heartatta- Why are you wearing cat ears and a tail?"

"Ve~ Don't I look cute?" Feliciano asked, "I'm so kawaii! Oh, that's Japanese for cute!" he paused, "And at least I'm not in a dress."

"Well, I didn't put it on!" Lovino defended, "I woke up with it on and found that stupid potato idioto with white rabbit ears and a tail!" he groaned, "Has everyone gone crazy?"

"Yup." Feliciano giggled, "We're all crazy here!"

"I'm not crazy!"

"Ve~ You're in a dress! I think that clarifies as crazy, fratello! Nyaa!" Feliciano paused, "That's Japanese for meow."

"You're not Japanese! You're Italian!" Lovino shouted, "Please, act like it!" he sighed, "Do you know which way I'm supposed to go?"

"Ve~ That depends on where you want to get to." Feliciano replied.

"Away from crazy people." Lovino frowned.

"Ve~ Well, I don't know how to get there." Feliciano shrugged, "But if it helps any," he paused, "you can go that way to find Antonio," he pointed left, "that way to find Gilbert," he pointed right, "or that way to find Francis." he pointed backwards, "Although, Francis and Gilbert are probably with Antonio having tea."

"Did you just say that they're having tea?"

"Ve~ Well, I didn't say anything else, so I think I did." Feliciano nodded.

"Quit getting smart with me." Lovino sighed, "I've had a rough enough morning so far, and you're just making it worse."

"Ve~ But it's not morning anymore." Feliciano said, "It's 12:34 in the afternoon."

... Huh?

"Where'd the time go?"

"Ve~ You should ask Antonio!" Felicinao said, "He's a very good friend of Time."

"I'm pretending what you said made sense." Lovino said, "I'm gonna find Antonio."

"Okay! Bye, fratello!" Felicinao said before litterally disappearing.

"I'm gonna pretend he didn't just do that." Lovino put a hand to his head, "Maybe I've got a fever. Or maybe I blinked. Or maybe nothing is as it should be. Or maybe I've finally lost my mind."

He went the direction Feliciano told him he would find Antonio and prayed things would be relatively normal... But of course they weren't. Why would anything be normal with the Bad Touch Trio in the park?

Especially when Antonio has on a very tall hat, Gilbert has brown rabbit ears and a tail, and Francis has mouse ears and a tail.

"Lovi!" Antonio shouted, "How have you been this morning?"

"Morning?" Lovino raised an eyebrow. Hadn't Feliciano JUST told him it was past twelve in the afternoon?

"Yeah." Gilbert nodded, "It's only 9:23. Isn't that awesome?"

"Lovino, why don't you come sit by me and have a cup of tea?" Francis asked.

"I thought you prefered wine." Lovino said sitting next to Antonio and across from the Frenchman.

"So, what have you done today?" Gilbert asked, "Other than crossdress."

"I didn't do it purposely!" Lovino shouted at the 'pure bred Prussian.'

"Sure, sure, whatever you say." Gilbert laughed, "Kesesesese."

"You three have the creepiest laughs ever." Lovino mumbled as the trio luaghed.

"Kesesese."

"Fusosososo"

"O ho ho hon."

"Like I said. Creepiest. Laughs. Ever." Lovino banged his head on the table.

"So, what HAVE you been doing?" Gilbert asked again.

"Start from the beggining," Antonio said, "and when you get to the end," he paused, "stop."

"Well, I woke up this morning only to find myself in a dress, and Ludwig had on-"

"Yeah, okay, we get that part."

Lovino glared at Gilbert and continued, "Ludwig kept telling me I was late, and-"

"Do you want some tea?"

"I- No. Not really." Lovino sighed annoyed that Francis interrupted him.

"Oh, okay."

"Ch-Chiggii!" Lovino jumped and glared at Francis, who had rub his leg against Lovino's.

"What's wrong, Lovi?" Antonio asked.

"That- That- That-"

"Let's change the subject!" Francis suggested, "Why don't you sing us a song, Antonio?"

"Okay!" Antonio nodded, and Lovino had the sudden urge to shoot himself in the face.

Twinkle twinkle little Lovi~

Why are you really lovely?

Even though you're very cute

sometimes I wish I could put you on mute.

"I hate life so much right now." Lovino mumbled, "Do any of you know where Ludwig went? I want to figure out what I'm late for."

Unfortunately, his question went unanswered.

"Sing another verse, Tonio!" Gilbert exclaimed, "That was awesomely funny."

Lovino then decided to leave very quickly.

"Stop doing that!" Lovino shouted whn Feliciano appeared out of nowhere again.

"Ve~ So, where they helpful?" Felicinao asked ignoring Lovino's shout.

"If by heplful you mean painfully annoying." Lovino huffed, "What time is it?"

"Ve~ 12:34 in the afternoon."

"That's what you said last time!"

"Ahhh! Please don't eat me! It's not my fault! Time doesn't like me very much, so it's always the same time for me!"

"Why do you keep talking about time like it's a person?" Lovino asked annoyed once again.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I can."

... "Leave me alone."

"Okay."

"No, what a minute!"

"What?"

"I still haven't found that freaking potato idioto!"

"Ve~ You should go see Ivan."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Well, Ludwig works for Ivan."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." Lovino sighed, "Where can I find the scary Russian."

"Just go that way." Feliciano pointed fowrard and disappeared again.

"I am so confused." Lovino whined.

After hours of walking, he didn't find Ivan or Ludwig, but he DID find Arthur, Alfred, and Matthew.

"Um, what are you three doing?"

"These two planted daisies instead of sunflowers, so I'm being a hero and helping them replace them with sunflowers." Alfred replied.

"Don't bloody blame me!" Arthur shouted, "You're brother is the one who bought the bloody seeds."

"I asked for sunflower seeds, but the man must have given me daisy seeds instead." Matthew said... Neither the Brit nor the America heard him though... Of course.

"Okay." Lovino nodded, "But that doesn't explain why your dressed up like cards."

Yup... Cards... Talk about weird... Matthew was the two of clubs, Alfred was the ace of clubs, and Arthur was the three of clubs.

"At least we're not dessed like bloody girls." Arthur said pointing at Lovino's dress.

"It's not MY fault!" Lovino protsted, "I woke up like this!"

"Sure you did." Alfred smirked.

"Do you want to give us a hand, Lovino?" Matthew asked.

"Not really." Lovino replied causing Matthew to anime fall.

"Mattie, don't ask the mean, cross-dressing Italian for help!" Alfred whined.

"I'm not mean, nor am I a cross-dresser." Lovino snorted, "I've already had enough annoying things to last me a life time, and I don't feel like adding on to the list."

"That doesn't give you the right to ignore a friend in need!" Alfred frowned, "No wonder you're not a hero. At least I help my friends when they need it!"

"The only person here who doesn't annoy me is Matthew." Lovino said, "Why would I help three people when only one doesn't annoy the heck out of me?"

"Do it for that one friend." Alfred said, "Or do it for the exercise. It helps with chubbiness."

"Are you calling me fat?" Lovino glared.

"I'm just saying that if you want to dress in girl's clothes than maybe you should be a little skinnier."

"I'm definitely not helping now." Lovino huffed, and the four heard a trumpet.

Then Ludwig came up with Ivan and Yao, both of them had crowns on, behind him and Toris, Raivis, and Eduard, the trmebling trio was dressed as cards as well, trembling behind them.

"I see that someone planted daisies instead of sunflowers, da?" Ivan said looking around.

"Well, daisies are pretty, too." Yao stated.

"But I like sunflowers." Ivan said with that dark aura that seemed to say 'Kolkolkolkolkol.' The Russian looked around, "Someone will loose their head for this." He spotted Lovino, Alfred, Arthur, and Matthew, "Which one of you did this?"

"It was Artie honestly!" Alfred shouted.

"No, it was Matthew!" Arthur shook his head.

"Nuh-uh, it was Lovino!" Matthew bit his bottom lip.

"I just got here! Don't blame me!" Lovino huffed.

"Someone had better tell me the truth." Ivan smiled sweetly, "Otherwise you will ALL lose your heads."

Lovino rolled his eyes, "Matthew bought the wrong seeds, he and Arthur planted them, discovered their mistake, and got Alfred to help them replace the daisies with sunflowers."

"Traitor!" Matthew shouted loudly as he, Arthur, and Alfred were being dragged off.

"Thank you for telling me." Ivan smiled, "Is there anything you want to know in return?"

"I just want Ludwig to tell me what I'm late for." Lovino sighed.

"Absolutely nothing." Ivan said before hitting Lovino in the back of the head with a pipe, and Lovino saw darkness.

Loivno woke up to confusion... he was in his bed at Antonio's house and was wearing the clothes he was wearing before the madness. He smelled something cooking and went downstairs only to find Antonio, Feliciano, Francis, Gilbert, and... Ludwig... Everything seemed perfectly normal.

"What's the matter, Lovi?" Antonio asked.

"Now I know why you're not supposed to go to bed angry." Lovino was confused beyond all reason.

"Why?" Feliciano asked.

"You end up having the craziest dreams." Lovino looked around, "I never did find out what I was late for."

"Huh?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow, "You're not making any sense."

"I think I might have forgotten the definition of that word." Lovino sat beside Antonio, "Ludwig have you been dressing up with white rabbit ears and a white rabbit tail?"

"No?" Ludwig was also confused.

Lovino turned to Gilbert, "What about you?" he paused, "Except instead of white, brown."

"Defiantly not."

"Francis, have you been dressing as a mouse?"

"As far as I'm concerned? No, I have not."

"Feli, have you been dressing up as a cat?"

"Nope."

"I think you should explain this crazy dream to us, Lovi." Antonio said putting an arm around the poor, confused Italian, "Start from the beginning, and when you get to the end," he paused, "stop."

Lovino did so. He started from the beginning and went to the end without any interruptions. He did NOT, however, tell Antonio of the song he sang in the dream.

"Awww, you're so cute when you're confused!" Antonio cooed.

"Okay." Lovino nodded not wanting to yell at the moment. He probably would the next day though.

"If I hugged you, what would you do?" Antonio asked.

"Just sit here and try to make sense of life."

Antonio hugged Lovino AND kissed him on the cheek.

"Ch-Chiggii!" Lovino blushed, "W-What was that for?"

"You're so cute!"

"I'm not cute!" Lovino shouted, "Ya know what? Never mind. I don't care anymore."


... Poor Lovi~ Maybe he'll be back to normal the next day~